Stay. Away. From. These. Bum. Ass. “Estranged”. Single. Dads. (P.S - baby mama? Baby mama?….You mean the woman whom he impregnated and to whom he had two children? Girllll i-) the tomfoolery

whiskey_and_oreos · 2022-03-26T21:39:59+00:00

Is "estranged ex" the new way to say "deadbeat dad"? Because children that young can't handle custody arrangements or pick ups and drop offs, nor should they even when they're older.

ceramicunicorn · 2022-03-26T21:44:26+00:00

I know this sounds wild, but if you’re doing OLD (which I don’t recommend but do you) and open to single dads, ask before you meet what the living situation is.

You would not believe how many are out there still living under the same roof as the mom, yet have the audacity to think you- ostensibly someone who is looking for someone to give your valuable heart and body and efforts to- would find this arrangement acceptable, and who would guiltlessly accept your value, while not being in an equitable situation where hosting can be shared. It could also lead to a push to live with you so he can get out from under his ex.

Ex-partners can live within walking distance for the sake of the child, I’ve seen it done plenty. If they’re still living under the same roof, there is some other bullshit going on, such as financial reasons or they’re simply not done with each other. Whatever the case may be, these are things that should be sorted before the responsibilities of a new relationship, not after. Don’t let a man give you excuses about how it’s best for the kid- this kind of man will happily accept value but he is not going to fulfill his end of the bargain with you and likely will just be using you for outside fun (and getting away with avoiding responsibility to you by referencing the child, every time) when parenthood gets too hard.

ihurlpearls · 2022-03-27T01:26:55+00:00

I’ve dated men with kids before and I’ll be honest.. I could never take these men seriously for several reasons, but the main one was that they had children already. I am in my 20s and have no desire to be a stepmother or have any baby mama drama in my life.

Another important reason was that these men didn’t seem to care that I was still a stranger, still in the very early stages of dating, yet they were perfectly comfortable having me stay the night and having me around their children.

I grew up with divorced parents who each chose their partners over my brother and I time and time again. My mother’s boyfriend was a creep, cruel and perverted, and my father’s forever girlfriend is a manipulative bully. Didn’t matter that my brother and I were deeply unhappy with obvious emotional issues!

Now that I’m an adult I see more clearly how selfish it is to have just anyone around their kids. I see more clearly how badly I was mistreated. The trauma I live with is more than enough to keep me away from desperate fathers who aren’t thinking of their children’s well being. Only their own.

No thanks! I’m good! And any man who gets upset at this.. I still fkd them! I just never gave them the relationship or commitment that they wanted from me. And isn’t that want men want? Commitment-free sex? lol, no. They want that, but on their terms only. Screw them.

Far_from_deceived · 2022-03-26T21:04:39+00:00

I seriously wouldn’t date a single dad. If it didn’t work with his ex, it must have been a VERY significant reason to abandon the MOTHER of your children. Ok, LVW exists as well.. maybe she was the problem? but we know what the tendency is…

Anyways, single dads should go for single moms. I personally don’t think I deserve someone who has a child. There are many men out there without children.

frostedgemstone · 2022-03-27T06:37:39+00:00

Kind of blows my mind how men will live with a woman, have her have his kids, even propose/marry and still not take her seriously

Asizella · 2022-03-27T06:34:37+00:00

I (was) 100% committed to co-parenting with his ex for the kids.

Well, I would say the kids are likely not going to benefit from bonding with her and her being in their life and then suddenly disappearing. I feel sad for them. Don't commit 100% to co-parenting someone's kids unless they are 100% committed to you first. Don't do things a wife would do if you're not his wife.

Later that night Im coming back to the kitchen from the bathroom hearing him say "You look amazing. I wish I was still here."

"I wish I was still here," not "I wish I never left." Which means HE probably didn't leave, the ex probably ended things and kicked HIM out, and he's only been dating OP because he can no longer have his number one choice, the ex. At any point in this relationship, if the ex really wanted him back, he would have dropped OP immediately and gone running.

Just the other day he told me he hates me when our fuel pump went out on our car

He probably does hate and resent her, simply because she's not his ex and he had to "settle."

IAteTheDragon · 2022-03-27T10:24:29+00:00

In this situation you can't win. The 'baby mama' will always be around in your relationship. Te child needs both parents and that's a given. But as much as a woman can emotionally cut off the father of the child and just maintain a civilized contact with him for the sake of the child, a man will always look for a chance to 'have a cake and eat it too'.

If you are civilized and decide to accept and maybe even befriend the child's mother to minimize the drama, it will 99% end even worse. His dick infested mind will have a Eureka! moment "Wow, what if could have two of them to fck and live with? I'm such an irresistable stud huhh huh". And he will just happily look at both of you cooperating, and plot how to soften you up for a threesome or some other perverted shit.

her-vagesty · 2022-03-27T11:08:07+00:00

Dating men who have kids has never worked well for me. They always make it a point to tell me their kid comes first, like obviously?? I never ask them to put me first but they love putting me in my place like that for no reason. Then they have weird baggage with their ex where they either still love her and talk about her with some sadness, or they still love her and talk about her with bitterness or anger. She will also come before you buy they don't say that. I've not dated a man with kids who is fully over his ex. Maybe they exist. I don't need to keep trying to find out though.

raspberryfit · 2022-03-27T11:15:29+00:00

Oh my god. This reminds me of my pickme days, I was single and having casual sex for “fun”, in college, 20 years old. There was this man (32?) who I had hooked up with at 18-19, before he had a child. He told me he wasn’t with the “baby mama” anymore. But, he BROUGHT HIS INFANT to my student housing complex while my friend babysat him in the other room 😭😭😭 he was trying to have sex but luckily I was beginning to learn the value of not doing that and wanted to make him wait. He claimed he was living with her for convenience but wasn’t with her, and when asked ok then why are you living with her, he said and I quote “I’m trying to do the whole family thing” 😭😭 AS he’s in a college girl’s apartment trying to have sex with her. Looking back I’d be more than willing to bet he was telling the mother he wanted to work it out with her. Ladies do not trust him if he cheated once, he’s probably trying to get with a college girl in her dorm with your son in the other room 😅

warinmymind94 · 2022-03-27T17:19:39+00:00

This is what I'm afraid of with single dads because no matter what that's the woman they impregnated and have to have some level of interaction and coparenting with for at least 18 years, there will always be some chemistry and deeper connection there.

Single dads are a no for me and my standard is no single dads. I am in my 20s and not ready to step parent or deal with his drama with the ex.

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