Do people regret getting divorced?

Idratherhikeout · 2022-04-24T17:22:28+00:00

Getting divorced is usually a complex, emotionally traumatic situation for everyone involved. Distilling it down to 'regret' is often an oversimplification of that complexity.

I think a better question is how many who initiate divorce, over time, end up in objectively worse situations (financial, emotional, mental health, etc) than they were before the divorce? I think that happens a lot, for a lot of reasons. I am guessing that most, if not all, initiators of divorce underestimate the toll it takes on your well being over time after the smoke clears of the separation.

epoch88 · 2022-04-24T19:07:53+00:00

Best decision I ever made the hardest to deal with in the fall out but I have 0 regrets.

sexytimeinseattle · 2022-04-24T18:24:29+00:00

I regret getting married. I'm not really comfortable with most aspects of marriage, and I had rocks in my head when I proposed.

Getting divorced is just the final conclusion of that fiasco.

furyoffive · 2022-04-24T22:58:25+00:00

I had always been anti-marriage..dont know why i agreed to get married. It ended exactly how i feared it would. Divorce and separating me from my child...
I was a product of divorce as well. I had mentioned my strong feelings on that topic and how i never wanted my child to go through that. My ex..was on the same page so i thought. She decided her overall happiness was more important than keeping her family together.

Dell_Hell · 2022-04-24T17:16:35+00:00

No we regret not getting divorced sooner or making that person at all.

Eve-3 · 2022-04-24T17:51:43+00:00

Some of them. But nowhere near a majority if you're talking about the party that initiated. Probably a higher number but still less than half for those that were unaware it was coming until it came.

BobQuasit · 2022-04-24T23:10:49+00:00

Some do, some don't. Everyone's different, and so is every marriage and every divorce.

Don't get me wrong. Divorce is hell. It's a lot like dying. But personally, my life is MUCH better now.

On the other hand, my ex - who initiated the divorce - is now with a man who beats the shit out of her every day. And our son won't speak to her. Neither will her mother, father, or brother. So she's probably worse off.

liftreadhikefish · 2022-04-25T04:34:26+00:00

When asked about marriage, Socrates said: "Marry or don't, either way you will regret it. If you choose your wife well you will be happy. If you choose poorly you will become a philosopher."

I think divorce is the same way.

riddeford · 2022-04-24T23:23:20+00:00

Best decision I ever made. I wish I had done it years earlier.

NoWalrus5028 · 2022-04-25T01:14:38+00:00

She's initiated, then later regretted it.

Thought we had a chance after I moved on. . .5 years later.

(go figure)

Honestly, I'm so much happier.

Just sucks the family courts favor women cause now she uses my relationship with my daughter as a weapon against me.

ExpressionStrict1503 · 2022-04-25T03:04:24+00:00

I am still going through the process. Close to 2 years, once Child Custody was signed i moved out. I have zero regrets, it's been 45 days since I have moved out and I am loving it.

If you are in a bad marriage get it done sooner than later. As someone else said here, the only regret I have is too not doing this sooner.

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-04-25T09:14:31+00:00

No I don't regret it...in fact quite the opposite. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made (been forced to make) ExW cheated and wanted a divorce. Initially I was against the idea, mostly because of fear of change and the unknown, but after a good friend took me away on holiday to get some space, I saw it for what it was...toxic and making me miserable. She was a lazy, drunk, messy individual who had zero ambition in life, no drive at all. I was essentially just an ATM to her, so I took control and filed first and drove the divorce forward. Now life is good again, I'm happy, successful and content....none of which would have happened if we'd stayed together.

Only regrets I have was marrying her in the first place and not pulling the rip-cord sooner....but I do not regret my two boys that came of it (thankfully both teens now so she can't play games with visitation, the boys wouldn't stand for it).

Girl_Dad42 · 2022-04-25T10:52:37+00:00

It sucked going through it but after 7 months of it being official, I have no regrets at all. I couldn’t be happier. My ex was never going to make any changes to make our relationship bearable.

ChillaxBrosef · 2022-04-25T14:02:02+00:00

Initiator here. It was a difficult but correct decision for all involved. As long as you go into it with a clean-break mindset and have your items in order there should be no regrets.

Weedwillmakemerich · 2022-04-25T17:48:53+00:00

Still going through it, I regret not being self aware to try and address it sooner. We had a good 17 year run, it went up in flames so quick. I think she will regret it in time, we will see.

Do people regret getting divorced?

Crosspost "Do people regret getting divorced?" from /r/relationship_advice:

Comments

Title	Do people regret getting divorced?
Author	Beautiful-Mousse-695
Upvotes	11
Comments	20
Date	April 24, 2022 5:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/uazcsx/do_people_regret_getting_divorced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-people-regret-getting-divorced.1111308 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111308