My mom never taught me anything because - "my daughter, she's not into real life that much, she prefers online world so why'd she need to know anything useful" - this is the unspoken atmosphere I sometimes feel... are boomers bad at raising kids?

sunglasses90 · 2022-06-09T12:16:50+00:00

My mom didn’t teach me any of those skills either. My job was school then college then getting a good job so I would never have to stay in a bad marriage because I was dependent on a man for money and even health insurance. We live in the US. She taught me what she thought was useful which was to be educated. She did her best.

I’ve learned to run a household myself. I’ve learned to cook amazingly, but it took years. I had to learn from roommates a lot. I’ve learned from books and YouTube. I called my grandma for her recipes and she’d tell me them over the phone and describe what to do so I have my own copy of those.

Cleaning takes time, but to do it right you need the right tools and the right approach: de clutter, wipe down windows and cabinets and surfaces, deep clean sinks and appliances, sweep floor and mop floor. Use the right products for the job. I like to clean in sections as things need to be done. I don’t like doing a whole house clean even though it looks nice it takes like 7 hours and I don’t want to clean that long.

You don’t have to learn everything at once.

LadySandcastle · 2022-06-09T14:17:17+00:00

My parents are from the baby boomer generation and they have their problems but not teaching me was absolutely my fault. I never showed interest. Parents cannot force their children to do anything.

You don't need your parents to learn basic cleaning and cooking anymore, you could literally type it into youtube and find out how to chop garlic for God's sake. Take some responsibility.

girlwithasidecar · 2022-06-09T12:33:43+00:00

Your mom probably isn't a boomer if you are a teenager.

Normally I would say that that is beside the point but here I have to wonder if you DO spend too much time on the internet. I think that you chose to assume she's a boomer because complaining about them is very trendy online

From your post it sounds like you do spend a lot of time online and you can and do research questions instead of asking your mom for help.

If you want to know how to turn on the oven... Well have you asked? You are incredibly critical of your mom but it is based on what you think about her not about actually knowing her.from the sound of the post.

If she's not abusive and she has skills to teach you then perhaps you need to be the one to reach out a hand to her. Complaining and blaming are unattractive traits to have.

abishagofthevalley · 2022-06-09T10:46:17+00:00

I dont know how old you are but it is your responsibility now to recover that ground. Shifting blame to the boomers isnt doing you any favors and it's a bad look.

Catesa · 2022-06-09T15:48:52+00:00

Mom, how do I

Dad, how do I?

maevenbelle · 2022-06-09T16:25:22+00:00

lol i came here to say that at some point you've got to take responsibility and become the rudder to your own ship, but it looks like teh rest of the sub took care of that.

espressolover18 · 2022-06-09T15:29:48+00:00

Youtube is full of tutorial videos on how to clean and cooking shows, and it's free.

rosesonthefloor · 2022-06-09T11:13:08+00:00

How old are you? All parents screw up their kids in some way - because nobody’s perfect. As a parent you just try not to screw them up too badly, and to also provide them with the life skills they need.

At a certain point however, those life skills become your responsibility to learn if you haven’t yet. We can’t expect our parents to teach us everything. My mom didn’t really teach me to cook or clean - not because she didn’t want to, but because she was the type who did everything for us growing up, and frankly, I wasn’t interested when I was younger. In a way she thought she was helping, but I had more of a learning curve when I first started living on my own. And that’s okay! I learned.

Nothing is stopping you from learning these skills yourself, and you can also seek out those who have the type of skills that are passed generation to generation to learn from them.

Nobody’s perfect, so I’d encourage you to either cut your mom some slack, or do some self-reflection an/or therapy to work through your feelings about how she prepared you for life.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-06-09T14:52:18+00:00

Idk how to cook maybe I'll learn that in future

Why are you waiting? Being able to cook is one way a woman can raise her RMV. It will put you head and shoulders above your competition.

I don't see her finding a husband at all

Don't be fat or disgusting and shower once a day. You will get found.

I generally think boomers often screw up with the parentage.

Boomers def suck at a lot of things but you 100% need to take responsibility for your own life. Plus if you have a husband, he can take care of restarting the central heating.

Puzzleheaded_Back255 · 2022-06-09T11:55:13+00:00

My mother was an excellent cook and baker, but literally all my knowledge about cooking and cleaning comes from the Internet. I recently told my mother that I want to learn her recipes, so we just started cooking together. Of course, I'm 32 and both boomer parents say I should be focusing on a career. Go figure.

They did us a disservice, but so did their parents in focusing on materialism after the Great Depression. It's up to us now to fill in the gaps as best we can. Godspeed!

Ok_Obligation_6110 · 2022-06-09T14:34:46+00:00

I think it’s on you to learn those skills, I think what boomers were trying to do was have you focus on skills related to a career instead. They’re the divorce generation so they definitely see things from that lens and would rather their daughters have a career than become housewives like their own parents generation, that’s why those skills were so heavily emphasized in the past and not so much by our boomer parents who knew they were raising their kids in a world where hardly anyone can exist on a single salary. It’s not a bad thing they did, they did what they thought was best based on their experience just like we all do as parents.

occisor-san · 2022-06-09T14:30:22+00:00

I generally think boomers often screw up with the parentage. Like - there are skills passed down generation after generation and their parents actually cared to pass them their knowledge.

I generally think that the kids of boomers are entitled jerks who just want to blame everyone else for them not trying to learn from their parents, and then blame everyone else for their own misuse of time.

(not really, but the whole blame boomers for everything is really tired)

Beautiful-Sunflower · 2022-06-09T13:00:07+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that you struggle because of this. It can be hard knowing you should be further in life or that you don't know as much as the next. I have to say I was raised the opposite, my mother only taught me about the house nothing else. I didn't even finish high school it was not encouraged. Instead I was encouraged to stay home and take care of all the children because my mom and dad split and she decided her housewife days were done. When she did this I became a caretaker. Sometimes our parents only do what they think is right and other times what they think is right can be kind of selfish and leaves us in the dust. It is our responsibility as we grow though to teach ourselves and better ourselves. Wish you the best of luck. Also YouTube is awesome for all the things you don't know. I can do car maintainable on my own because of YouTube. It helps because I have no one around me that is a mechanic.

TheBunk_TB · 2022-06-09T13:22:08+00:00

Others took the Pepsi Challenge.

Some chose Pepsi

Some chose Coke.

A few idiots chose Jiff peanut butter

I chose to not listen to them

Protocol_Apollo · 2022-06-09T11:03:43+00:00

Boomers are too lazy and apathetic.

This is why their daughters grow up to be hoes whilst on meds and their sons depressed porn addicts.

That said, it doesn’t matter now. You can’t change the past.

Catch up. Learn from your mother if she can/wants to teach you. If not, YouTube, forums such as Reddit or specialised ones, fb groups, etc.

You live in an abundance of information. Dating, fitness, business, cooking, gardening etc. You literally can become a master in any of those things with no or next to no money spent.

“Ignorance is a simply a choice in the Information Age” - Apollo

-Raksu- · 2022-06-10T05:37:32+00:00

I didn't read your entire post, but I will say this anyway. Kids/teens these days keep their parents at such arm's length that parents don't even try teach things anymore. Would your mom feel like she's always forcing you to do or learn things? Social media and internet addiction can make kids unbearably cold towards the people in their household.

itsintheayes · 2022-06-10T06:51:40+00:00

Your mom is likely GenX unless she’s older than 58.

xtcj88 · 2022-06-10T01:54:50+00:00

Boomers are selfish, and selfish people are bad at raising kids.

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