I’m (30F) seeking some help with how to navigate a disagreement with my boyfriend (30M). We’ve been together for a year, with ups and downs along the way. I am recently red-pilled, mostly because of him. I have always lived under a bit of a rock, been in relationships with not very masculine men, and have never used online dating sites at all. I’ve been unaware of how many women utilize these sites, until more recently as my boyfriend talks about it a lot.

Last week my boyfriend mentioned wanting to go more public with me but not really liking my profile picture. It hurt a bit and based on comments I’ve heard him make about his preferences about me and also other women, I selected a picture from the past I thought would meet his approval and changed it this morning. I didn’t think much of it more than that, but I have run into MANY issues with not understanding how to respect him as my man. He was very upset with me and told me he didn’t feel considered or respected in my choice and that the photo belonged on tinder. When I said I could see his point and I hadn’t considered that I’m not 25 anymore, he said he didn’t want to teach a 30 year old woman how to not act like 25 year old slut and has pretty much decided this is a dealbreaker. It doesn’t help that I’m going away to visit my family next week and he seems to think I changed it to connect with other men during my trip, which I have never done and have always been monogamous.

I guess I’m seeking some advice on how to handle this. I’ve been doing tons of research, but I can’t seem to figure out how to show my respect to my boyfriend even when I respect him very much. I was actually trying to please him and it very much backfired. How can I handle this now to be feminine and non-argumentative, and how can I learn what actions are respectful or disrespectful to the men I hold dear in my life?