Who’s really the bad guy here?

tired_hillbilly · 2022-11-10T05:57:19+00:00

It should be mandatory for anyone discussing "Nice guys" to have read Radicalizing the Romanceless.

bottleblank · 2022-11-10T05:37:55+00:00

Go browse the r/NiceGuys sub to see what people are often referring to with that term, and definitely are referring to with the phrase “only nice to try to get women to like them.”

It’s not referring to guys who are actually just nice, decent people. It’s referring to assholes who insist they’re nice but will lash out and try to manipulate constantly.

mrcs84usn · 2022-11-10T05:42:16+00:00

I don’t see what’s wrong with the idea that “I’ve been told that women want men to be nice to them, so that should be my starting point for getting into a relationship.”

The “bad guy” is the woman that touts all the shit about wanting a good guy, but her dating/sex track record says otherwise.

bunnakay · 2022-11-10T05:53:19+00:00

You're using too many tropes. All of this can be summed up into two groups of "bad guys":

People who lie or misrepresent their intentions
People who do not respect someone else's standards and who don't take "no" for an answer

SoleMatesC4S · 2022-11-10T20:14:33+00:00

Treating women like s**t, Being abusive

IME, they counter this one with "it only seems abusive to you because you're jealous."

Like no Jan, one of my besties was in a relationship with a wifebeater. I know how this shit works better than you

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2022-11-11T07:31:23+00:00

Personally I think that both the ''nice'' guys and the dark triad dudes are assholes.

4ktx · 2022-11-10T09:16:45+00:00

Since when does the opposite of nice equate being an abuser?

animorph_fan34 · 2022-11-10T05:42:26+00:00

You need to explain what you mean by “women taking advantage of simps” because whenever men say this is happening the woman in question is not lying or deceiving the man at all. Just accepting the gifts she’s being given or there’s some kind of money being exchanged for sexual services

Lyzard96 · 2022-11-10T06:11:43+00:00

Both are bad. Who ever said that one was good?

4ktx · 2022-11-10T09:15:48+00:00

Being nice doesn’t qualify you for anything. That’s the problem with nice guys. You don’t put nice on a resume, being nice doesn’t get you the job.

My own mother told me she doesn’t like nice guys.

MistyMaisel · 2022-11-10T16:22:05+00:00

They're both equally evil in my book. I find niceguys more annoying because they're in absolute denial about how disgusting their behaviour is. I'd rather deal with a proper predator because I can take the gloves off with them. A niceguy I'm forced to sort of feel bad because they're so delusional that at times it feels mean to have to so soundly dismiss them. Dark Triad guys, I don't have to feel bad. Hell, I even get to enjoy ripping their soul and character apart and trying to leave them with a Holocaust on their soul that they'll never wash out.

That's a thing I see here often. Men claiming they would be much more pleasant, kind, and generous to their theoretical girlfriend or wife. They don't realize most women evaluate men based on how they treat their enemies (or people they're upset with) and inferiors. Because in a committed relationship, it's extremely likely at some point a we'll be both to them. And we want to know that we'll be treated well no matter how happy or committed the guy feels with us at that time.

If you're a guy who is friendly to women and ALSO has a motive towards a relationship/sex, that's fine. People often have multiple desires. So long as you don't snap if you don't get the relationship/sex, you aren't a "NICEGUY". You can even be a guy who only wants sex/relationship and uses puppy-like friendliness to achieve it. Just don't pretend this isn't a tactic like any other. Don't pretend you're better than the "bad boys" just because you decided to kill with kindness and they decided to go with hectic toxic excitement and lashing out. Both are tactics which offer a variety of pleasure to women. The fact the hectic bad boy wins more often is simply because friendliness as a sole characteristic isn't very interesting. The fact you get ghosted, blocked, and taken advantage of among other disappointments is a result of the tactic you went with.

This is why women suggest you don't go with tactics. But when we do that, we're clearly trying to ruin your life and make it so that you end up a 65 year old virgin hermit.

HolyPipidastra · 2022-11-10T05:33:25+00:00

The nice guys will do all the same things the dark triad men do, but without realizing or admitting that they are doing them. The nice guy is a passenger in the backseat of his emotions, the dark triad guy is the driver.

We are not flirting when we say that nice guys are the absolute fucking scums of the Earth. No sociopath is capable of their level of destruction, done with clueless effortlessness of a pin up blonde.

John_Oakman · 2022-11-10T05:54:58+00:00

The view that the fake morally virtuous being a far greater evil than the obvious malevolent isn't a controversial or even new view. Just look at what some randomass middle eastern man noted on the supposedly nice guys of his time:

Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples,

Saying The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat:

All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.

For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.

But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments,

And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues,

And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi.

But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren.

And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.

Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ.

But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.

And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.

But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.

Woe unto you, ye blind guides, which say, Whosoever shall swear by the temple, it is nothing; but whosoever shall swear by the gold of the temple, he is a debtor!

Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold?

And, Whosoever shall swear by the altar, it is nothing; but whosoever sweareth by the gift that is upon it, he is guilty.

Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gift, or the altar that sanctifieth the gift?

Whoso therefore shall swear by the altar, sweareth by it, and by all things thereon.

And whoso shall swear by the temple, sweareth by it, and by him that dwelleth therein.

And he that shall swear by heaven, sweareth by the throne of God, and by him that sitteth thereon.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.

Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous,

And say, If we had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.

Wherefore ye be witnesses unto yourselves, that ye are the children of them which killed the prophets.

Fill ye up then the measure of your fathers.

Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?

Wherefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city:

That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the temple and the altar.

Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation.

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!

Behold, your house is left unto you desolate.

For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.

owlvdv · 2022-11-10T09:38:48+00:00

What you exclude, is exactly what distinguishes a 'nice guy' from a nice guy. A 'nice guy' will flare up and be horrible when you reject their advances. A nice guy will say: okay and move on. I have a lot of genuine nice guy friends, they are all in commited relationships or getting laid by equally wonderful women. The only men who I see are having trouble getting laid are of the 'nice guy' variety. Thinking they deserve the most beautiful women, by just being 'nice'. Getting angrier with every rejection they get and thinking all women are super entitled because they won't 'give' sex when asked nicely.

ivailobaysha032 · 2022-11-10T06:05:41+00:00

Why do you care who the "bad guy" is? Is that going to help you get what you want?

ChefPsychological302 · 2022-11-10T06:21:18+00:00

I would say the women, cause even if nice guys are manipulative aleast they know how to treat a woman alright

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-11-10T15:01:03+00:00

I used to think I could help some of the dudes here. Get them out of their mindset and on their way to actually doing something to move their lives forward. What the hell was I thinking?!

AutoModerator · 2022-11-10T05:26:36+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	Who’s really the bad guy here?
Author	ivailobaysha032
Upvotes	5
Comments	80
Date	November 10, 2022 5:26 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yr6b4g/whos_really_the_bad_guy_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whos-really-the-bad-guy-here.1139161 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139161

Comments