Thinking about seeing a sex worker on my birthday

arrouk · 2022-12-26T20:53:38+00:00

Honestly sex is like money.

When you have non it's the most important thing in the world, when you have enough it is actually not that significant.

If having sex will make yourself feel better go pay a pro, Honestly I think it's better than most ons

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-12-26T19:15:19+00:00

Most sex workers are very nice and understanding. Paying a little extra makes for a better experience. Tell her about your inexperience and I bet she's very understanding.

Trick-Champion3634 · 2022-12-26T18:50:56+00:00

Morally I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this but do spend some time figuring out how to go about it depending on where you are located so you can get the best experience and safety.

Confident_Notice975 · 2022-12-26T19:02:47+00:00

You definitely aren't worthless for any reason, also, seeing a sex worker is fine. Just make sure you discuss what you want to do before hand and don't get robbed.

pappo4ever · 2022-12-26T20:25:16+00:00

You know that women will shame you for doing this, and government will forbid it.

And you know everything women shame, and government forbid, is good for you.

OrganizationThen8345 · 2022-12-26T20:32:29+00:00

Forget about women right now.

Go to the gym regularly, eat well, get into a solid routine, concentrate on work, learn new skills, make friends with men, socialise.

3 years ago I was fat as hell, miserable, lonely (despite being in a relationship) and had absolutely zero drive for anything. I split with my ex, turned to the gym, started going 5 days a week, starting eating and dieting properly, concentrated on doing things that would improve me and benefit me later down the line. Red-pill is your friend too. It’ll teach you how to figure women out and put you on the right track with everything else.

Before you know it you’ll be a better version of yourself than you ever thought possible and be turning women in their dirty thirties down for women in their twenties.

You can do it, you’ve just got to, you know.. do it.

Dry-Sheepherder-8432 · 2022-12-26T21:44:01+00:00

I keep a sex worker under exclusive contract for about 2-3k per month. 🤣

SecondEldenLord · 2022-12-26T20:33:46+00:00

Do it bro. Seeing a sex worker I mean. If I wouldn't have had sex with a hooker, I would've still been a virgin at 32. I am in a similar situation as you: not a big income, I am short and unattractive, never had a relationship and so on. I do have a personality and can make friends rather easy if they have a sense of humor but all modern women rejected me for my looks and rather keep me as a friend. So yeah, I can relate eith you rather well so all I can say to you dude is seek a hooker, seek money so that you can afford them and enjoy life

Complicated_Peanuts · 2022-12-26T20:04:37+00:00

In reference to your edit, I think it would be good for you to look up the stats. “Most” aren’t getting it much at all. Last I looked it was almost 40% got none. You’re not alone

SpellRush · 2022-12-26T21:05:23+00:00

I haven't read other replies yet but I just wanted to point out that affection from the opposite sex is never "free" and rarely actually "earned." You either meet a person's personal criteria and preferences or you don't. Don't look down on yourself for something you cannot help. No one chooses their genetics/situation. All we can do is make the most with what we've been dealt.

A sex worker is a lot cheaper/easier than an actual relationship and while you desire the gratification of a loving partner, it's really an illusion. Your ego feels good for achieving something based on no real personal merit while the other person is only interested because of inherent preferences. The only reason anyone loves anything is because that something benefits them in some capacity.

Essentially your brain just wants oxytocin, your ego just wants vain satisfaction, your heart wants peace and your dick wants ass. Become disillusioned and you'll realize the pursuit of love is juvenile and you're an awesome person who truly doesn't need anyone to complete you, you are complete.

LogicalView · 2022-12-26T20:46:19+00:00

Hey bro, you please don't use such words to describe yourself. These kind of words can become self-fulfilling affirmations.

I think you have two issues here.

Need for physical intimacy
Need to feel better about yourself and be better

For (1), go ahead and visit a sex worker. Be safe and respectful. As someone else said, many sex workers are kind people. But some will try to rip you off. So be careful.

For (2), I think this is the bigger issue. If you resolve this, you probably don't need to worry too much about (1). I suggest you read Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life.And "The Secret" and "The One Minute Millionaire: The Enlightened Way to Wealth" You need to start believing that life can get better and then take the steps to become better. It's never too late! My first real dating experience was in my late 20s too.

And don't compare yourself to others. First of all, you don't know about their struggles, no matter how they may seem on the outside. And second, it's pointless to compare with others. You need to compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. As long as you make steps everyday to be your better self, you are a winner!

I wish you all the best!

The_Lucky_Devil · 2022-12-26T20:13:10+00:00

Worthless?why do you even allow your environment or others to determine your value? Stop comparing yourself to everything. Stop seeing yourself from through a victimising lense. Do everything that gives you a somewhat boost of confidence(work out,change your haircut,get new clothes,get a tattoo)even if small or big they will keep you afloat until you figure out what exactly you’re aiming for.

jkj2000 · 2022-12-26T19:34:40+00:00

Go for it! You only live once and if it helps you focus on the next task then nobody should blame you for your decision! But don’t forget to be smart about it = don’t get an STD!

UnderneathTheBread · 2022-12-26T20:43:53+00:00

Happy banging dude

Lightning77Plus · 2022-12-26T21:12:02+00:00

Once you do this, you'll see that sex is not as grand and magical as it may seem when we're virgins.

Is it fun? Yes. Can it be magical? Yes. Is it the Mecca of all experiences? Most certainly not. It wouldn't be possible to make it transactional, otherwise.

Be respectful, make sure the worker gets paid (remember that you're paying for their time, not for sex, as that might be illegal and I do not condone breaking any laws) and have fun!

You're worthy of love, both physical and emotional. You're definitely not worthless, my guy. Many people have fallen into the worth trap, myself included. We've somehow tricked ourselves into thinking that worth is derived from who you sleep with or how much money you make. Sure, there's nothing wrong with striving to find a better job, one more fulfilling, and making more money, but that's such a shallow measurement of worth.

Enjoy the things you enjoy, spend time with your friends, and fuck what anyone else thinks. Oh, and hire that escort! Like an inappropriate uncle would say, "you're gonna pay for it one way or another, might as well save some time."

BeRad_NZ · 2022-12-26T22:20:13+00:00

OP you are a valuable person. Just because someone else hasn’t discovered your value yet doesn’t reduce the fact that you are awesome and unique.

Having sex will not define you as a person. Just take care of yourself and look for opportunities to care for others so you aren’t focusing inwards too much.

You got this man!

Electrical_Access604 · 2022-12-26T23:18:24+00:00

The best women I've ever met were hookers.

TempleFugit · 2022-12-26T19:07:36+00:00

Wear a condom and have fun!

DavidCksss · 2022-12-26T20:34:03+00:00

Most guys pay for sex. They pay for dates, drinks at the club, they pay the bills, they pay for the gym on top of working out there, they buy gifts, etc. More often than not for the purpose of getting laid.

Unless you're Henry Cavill level handsome or find that one in a million women you'll have to do the same.

I say go for it and see if you enjoy it.

Being with a women isn't all that great you know. You have to constantly perform, buy her stuff, entertain her, and you get barely anything in return. I get that providing and making someone you love happy is a strong male instinct but chances are you're better off without them. Get a cat or a dog for that. Society is obsessed with relationships and love but that lifestyle of striving to make a woman happy is hardly a lifestyle fitting for every straight man, especially since returns on investment (so to say) are increasingly diminishing.

I recommend you watch some videos about your situation from HealthyGamerGG Nothing to do with mrm or red pill just a very good psychiatrist explaining things the way a man understands, with logical assessment and solutions.

Also get yourself a male psychiatrist. Women psychiatrist are whack. Bad experiences all around as a man.

pappo4ever · 2022-12-26T20:28:33+00:00

I'm basically saying that no woman will ever love me enough to have sex with me

You are somehow considering that women are superior to you? this is false. You have to see them as part of nature, like a tree. Do you want to be loved by a tree? no. You buy wood if you need it.

IceCorrect · 2022-12-26T18:56:46+00:00

Who cares? Just go for independet worker

No-Knowledge-8867 · 2022-12-26T22:21:56+00:00

Mate, I think you should stop letting other people determine your value. I've never met a worthless person. I have met plenty of people who don't value themselves because others tell them so. There is nothing wrong or demeaning in using a sex worker if you decide it is what you want to do. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. In the meantime I think you should start focusing on being able to find value and define yourself in the positive. You are capable of expressing yourself and your vulnerability clearly and succinctly. You have a community that values your masculinity. All that is positive.

mikesteane · 2022-12-27T00:11:53+00:00

I'm basically saying that no woman will ever love me enough to have sex with me and that I have to pay for something that most other men can get for free

Not true, it doesn't amount to that. It's getting started with change. And if you don't feel good about it afterwards, try something else.

Get started with this. And then get to work on yourself. I'm going to make a main post of working on yourself right now. Think of that post as my answer to your post here. It's for you.

Edit: Here is that post.

Kuato2012 · 2022-12-27T00:24:59+00:00

by doing this, I'm basically saying that no woman will ever love me enough to have sex with me

Disagree. That's a depressive take (perhaps understandably, but still). All it says is that you aren't in a sexual relationship with someone right now, but you would like some sex, as many men do.

and that I have to pay for something that most other men can get for free.

We all pay for it in one way or another. You'll notice that the single most salient feature in all straight-male-oriented porn is how free and easy sexual access is. Because that's the fantasy that we all wish we could have.

It would be such a shameful embarrassment that suicide seems the only way I can ever atone for such a slight.

Uh, no? Being with a pro is kind of like getting a stripper's boobs in your face, but paying extra and getting more. People who are judgy about that are welcome to live their own lives as they see fit.

suk-my-ballz-0811 · 2022-12-26T19:51:19+00:00

I encourage you to do this buddy and do it often. The professional women can provide you great pointers on style, hygiene, posture, conversation and with this knowledge as well as sexual experience, you may very well build solid confidence that will pay off in droves.

carboncopycat · 2022-12-26T21:03:53+00:00

It is known as 'the oldest profession' for a reason, and there should be zero shame in an adult transaction for a physical experience with mutual consent. I suggest budget for it and make it more regular than a 'once per year' thing, if you feel your mental health suffers from this absence. It hurts no-one, as long as you're conscious of the circumstances (e.g. avoid street solicitation, use a service, wear protection and take precautions etc). Happy Birthday!

TeddyMGTOW · 2022-12-26T21:37:28+00:00

Get a second job and save up for a 2 week trip to Thailand. Probably 4k for everything and I mean everything. You will see life different.

Vicious_Outlaw · 2022-12-26T21:56:09+00:00

I really mean what I'm about to say.

Please, go see a therapist. Prostitute? Sure if you want. But you need to talk to someone. A person who can help you under yourself and advise you. A therapist can do that if you don't have a person.

Ok_Peach4497 · 2022-12-26T21:56:23+00:00

Best thing to do. Go for it

Antarkian · 2022-12-26T22:37:17+00:00

I really feel that taking that monetary investment and seeking a person who can help you work towards bettering yourself, would be a more valuable solution for you(ling term). You have categorized yourself as such, but you are NOT worthless. And when someone such as yourself overcomes these difficulties you thrive better than most. Because you've seen the extremes in both sides. You're a King homie. You just haven't found your throne yet. Never stop fighting

konichiwaaaaaa · 2022-12-26T23:04:44+00:00

pay for something that most other men can get for free.

Look, I love my wife, but from a purely financial perspective, sex workers are much cheaper if your only goal is to have sex.

Sex is never free for men, unless you're one of the Beatles or a popular guy in college... At least in my experience.

I do think you should spend your money on a sex worker AND a therapist though.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-12-26T23:22:46+00:00

Make like Nike and just do it

unowned01 · 2022-12-26T23:54:27+00:00

Did I overlook the gofundme link?

2022-12-26T19:41:02+00:00

I personally say don’t waste you’re time. Just do you’re own thing. Do whatever you can to better yourself. Whether or not that’s going to the gym, finding a career that you will enjoy and you can start making legitimate money. Then if you decide to go for it. Don’t give up Brotha. Life gets hard. Start doing what you really love and start taking care of yourself and you won’t regret it

JosephDavidZ · 2022-12-26T20:27:38+00:00

Sex with a sex worker is no different than sex with a girlfriend. I mean once you relax and let yourself go, the sex feels the same.

Frequent sex is vital in maintaining good mental health for men. Sex work should be covered by health insurance. Haha.

Just watch out for scammers. Don't send money to them on Cashapp before you meet.

BigIglooUkulele · 2022-12-26T19:12:50+00:00

My guy, doing some random chick isn't going to solve anything. Do something that will improve your life, find God my friend.

Icy_Clench · 2022-12-26T23:14:13+00:00

Imo you should use the money to see a therapist. Sounds like you have some serious problems that need fixing. A night with a sex worker isn't going to fix your life.

littleforrest12 · 2022-12-26T21:13:17+00:00

dont do it, worst thing ever to see an escort. it will lower your mental health and self esteem. you are better than seeing someone and paying them to have sex with you.

2022-12-26T22:35:50+00:00

Don’t do it. Hold out for the real thing. Your self-respect may eat away after you do something like this…

l1ght- · 2022-12-26T21:22:35+00:00

The supportive comments here are bullshit.

Work on fixing the areas of your life that are causing this lack of confidence & self-esteem.

Get that right and make age 31 your most transformative yet.

UnconventionalXY · 2022-12-27T01:13:49+00:00

The OP has place in the universe simply through the miracle of the act of creation of life: it imbues a fundamental worth on its own. I dare anyone to challenge the creator as to the worth of any creation. The value of the OP to anyone else is not their concern.

I encourage the OP to consider what their fundamental needs are and to explore how to attain them individually, not what society says they should want and how to do it and especially not in making one woman the sole provider of those needs: not only is that a huge burden on one person, but it creates a dependency on that person and generates a vulnerability to extortion as they control what the OP needs.

The objective is the OP getting their needs met, not who is involved or how it occurs, therefore it isn't dependent on a womans love: if you only think of a woman meeting those needs, you have already solved the problem without exploring any other avenue and have automatically limited your chances of getting those all important needs met.

Sex and love are two different things: sometimes they can be combined but its easier to achieve them independently. A dog can provide unconditional love (not sex) and a sex worker can provide sex (but not unconditional love).

Men pay for sex one way or another and a sex worker will give you what you pay for, whereas a woman in general gets to choose whether to give you sex for your money. There's no shame in pursuing a guaranteed return on investment.

Sex is great, but it's not the be all and end all its made out to be, especially the first time, so get that first experience out the way by paying a sex worker to guarantee it happens and in a more controlled way and then stop agonising and wasting time over it. I think it is a shame that Fathers no longer take their sons to a brothel to get that first experience out of the way in a controlled fashion and to create a shared experience bond, but I can understand that their wives would not be happy.

Sex is important to men, but sexual fulfilment can be achieved in various ways that don't necessarily involve a woman or even anyone else. Sharing the experience with another person adds to the dimension, but again, it doesn't have to be a woman, only a consenting person. Women are the preferred participants simply because sex is linked with procreation, which can only happen with women, but only a small fraction of sex has ever been about procreation and the rest has just been about sexual fulfilment and maybe a shared experience. However, habit and homophobia is so entrenched in society that many men have difficulty with the idea of recreational sex with a man even though sexual stimulation is possible regardless of the gender of the bits doing the stimulating. When a man masturbates, he's generally doing it with man parts on man parts already: it's something to consider. Sexual orientation is also brought up as to why men generally are only interested in women, but sexual orientation is about sex and procreation, which requires women: recreational sex is not procreation and doesn't require a woman, although through habit we may not be able to separate the two. The OP is at an advantage in their virginity in that they haven't been conditioned yet to only women (except in their mind) and have the opportunity to explore multiple experiences to see which they might prefer.

It's not about race, many white men have exactly the same problem and the OP would likely have read about them on this very sub.

Relationships are important to individuals in society, but they come in many forms: a Relationship (ie a long term loving sexual relationship) is held up to be the epitome, but its actually composed of different relationships with the same person, which can be achieved, separately, with multiple sources much more readily than putting all your eggs in one basket that chooses not to choose you. Platonic friendships, as a type of relationship, are important and you may find women are more prepared to engage at a platonic friendship level than they are at a sexual level. Friendships aren't usually based on appearance unless they are superficial.

So go see that sex worker, but not on your birthday as you don't want to confuse different things, as the first step in an exploration of possibilities in how to get your fundamental needs met; develop platonic friendships on shared mutual interests; consider getting a dog if you can look after it as its a living creature with feelings and will want to be with you as much as possible, if you want to experience unconditional love; explore your own body's potential for sexual fulfilment (men can achieve multiple orgasms through prostate stimulation for example); explore engaging in recreational sex with other consenting men, but be careful as homophobia can arouse negative responses; and generally follow the road less travelled as I think it will be easier in meeting needs instead of looking for that one perfect woman who is also looking for you.

coolman20012 · 2022-12-26T20:04:37+00:00

if you want to lose money and have someone laugh about you... sure. greatest idea ever! buy a GOOD bottle of whisky instead...

GrapefruitOk5383 · 2022-12-26T21:06:13+00:00

No shame in getting paid help. It’s normal and often preferred to amateurs who don’t know how to properly provide any customer service and in fact feel entitled beyond any value they provide. In Asia, visiting both prostitutes for sexual release and hostesses for emotional release is common and ordinary. Professionals will help demystify the other sex, which is what typically creates the most inhibitions among the inexperienced

Goosehouse913 · 2022-12-26T21:17:50+00:00

have you tried dating apps

his_purple_majesty · 2022-12-26T21:23:41+00:00

Do you have any hobbies?

slugmister · 2022-12-26T21:48:21+00:00

Joining a dating agency that has a dating coach. Even if you don't find a partner you will gain knowledge and 5

Fit-Quantity3181 · 2022-12-26T21:55:30+00:00

Personally I think this is immoral and I wouldn’t do it, but hey You do You. Wishing You best of luck bro

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2022-12-26T21:56:16+00:00

Using these services doesn't mean no one will ever love you. Brothels and sex work were a normal part of life in most of the world and even the US until roughly about the same time feminism started gaining power. It has existed since the beginning of time and will continue until the last minutes of humanities existence.

Led-Rain · 2022-12-26T22:06:21+00:00

I know the feeling my guy. Im in the same boat. Luckily i have a cool guy boss now, so the women that were above me are finally backing off.

I dont have any advice. I see homeless men and women, meth heads paired up. Man and woman every day paired up. Sometimes i cant believe it. Like, am i really that much worse bc i dont want to finish my degree? Bc i dont want to spend 60 hours a week at a job i cant care about?

You gotta do what makes you happy. I see it as something men have been doing for thousands of years. America is the weirdest place when it comes to sex and taboo. Other countries are far less brainwashed.

leavingcarton · 2022-12-26T22:21:24+00:00

Well you do whats best for you 👍also on a side note you’ve made the rank of Wizard 😎

2022-12-26T23:22:15+00:00

U should. Even after your edit. I would say go ahead.

Garfish16 · 2022-12-26T23:38:01+00:00

Have fun but try not to make it a habit, sex can be addictive especially the first few women.

Elterchet · 2022-12-27T00:11:04+00:00

Don't you find sex workers disgusting?

Don't you feel like doing it with sex worker will be a surrender to women's slurs? Like, no one of us gonna sleep with you unless you pay for it.

Just having sex will not solve your problem with lack of relationships

And most important your own opinion on yourself looks very off. Actually it looks very like mental illness and such a one that you can't perceive what others thing about you.

maxy324 · 2022-12-27T00:12:38+00:00

Have you tried tinder? Theres a chance you can save the money and find a one night stand that way. The best part about sex -when your lacking it- is the ego boost, and you might not get that from something so blatantly transactional. Do as other men here have said and go to the gym, that confidence + one night stand confidence may be all you need to be more content and elevate your social status a lil (talking from my own personal experience). Cheers mate

GUCCI_MONKEY · 2022-12-27T02:32:31+00:00

Don’t, you’ll thank yourself later

Thinking about seeing a sex worker on my birthday

Comments

Fuck the gym!!!

Title	Thinking about seeing a sex worker on my birthday
Author	Nunubx92
Upvotes	120
Comments	105
Date	December 26, 2022 6:36 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zvtjb3/thinking_about_seeing_a_sex_worker_on_my_birthday/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/thinking-about-seeing-a-sex-worker-on-my-birthday.1145699 https://theredarchive.com/post/1145699