I could be way out to lunch on this, but I don’t necessarily think this is a hot take. Im guessing most people will agree with me, they just don’t view the ‘market’ the same way.

I’m not referring to the ‘Getting laid’ market. That market is obviously controlled by women(and the men who are 9s and 10s). I’m referring to the ‘Find a long lasting and meaningful relationship’ market.

Everyone views women as the selectors, and the ones who hold the keys, but this is only half true.

It is much easier for women to get a date and a hook up, but I think it’s much harder for women to get the rest of the relationship package.

Most people are aware of the friend zone and the fuck zone.

A man who is a 10, will fuck a 1. He may even string her along for countless booty calls and “emotional” pillow talk if she’s great in bed but, she’ll never meet his parents and friends and she’ll never get a full commitment. She’s stuck in the fuck zone. Which, for her, is usually a big deal. She’s given up the most intimate physical experience. For men, sex tends to be a little more transactional and less of a big deal.

A woman who is a 10, will friend zone a 1. A man won’t. She may even become extremely close, emotionally, with him if their personalities really click but, He’ll never get any sexual commitment because he is unfuckable. Aka “she just doesn’t like him in that way.” He’s stuck in the friend zone. Which, for him, is a big deal. He’s completely opened himself up to her. It’s not as big of a deal for women to have these intimate/emotional platonic friendships, but for men it tends to be a much bigger deal, ESPECIALLY if commitment is involved.

No relationship is legit without both sides of the pie though.

Women usually hold the keys to the first date and sex, but men usually hold the keys to the other half. Making the relationship market close to 50/50.

I know plenty of women who don’t find it difficult to hook up with top tier guys, but really struggle to lock them down. I believe because women who are 6s and 7s can hook up with 9s and 10s, they think they can find a relationship in that same range, especially when these guys are leading them on to believe they really love them. Leading to a massive disconnect in the dating world. I also know a decent number of guys who’ve been friend zoned over the years by women who are well out of their league, but can’t lock down the romantic/sexual half of a relationship.

I think, for men, it’s a really big deal to give up the emotional goods, but it isn’t as big of a deal to give up the goods sexually. Women are more willing to open up emotionally, so long as anything sexual is off the table.

I don’t think women generally disagree, it’s hard to find a decent guy who will fully commit to a real relationship. I’d bet many women feel they have to go down a level or two to find it. A woman who’s a 6-7 will still have trouble even locking down a guy who’s a 6-7, which makes it even worse when you realize so many women are shooting their shots with 9s and 10s.

Add to that the fact that women are in the workforce bringing home the bacon at levels closer to men than ever before and you have the dating market of 2022.

Or maybe my anecdotal experiences are way off and women really do hold all the power to the whole pie.

Edit: I want to make one clarification regarding the friend zone vs the fuck zone. Putting someone in the friend zone can be cruel and shitty but, the fuck zone can result in children and STIs. They are not the same. If you’ve been put in the fuck zone, you have more of a legitimate claim to the rest of the relationship package than someone who’s been put in the friend zone. Sadly, having more of a legitimate claim does not mean you have more of a chance. Your chances are just as slim as the guy stuck in the friend zone.