is it normal to have her look better than you in a relationship ?

volleyballbeach · 2023-02-05T01:37:05+00:00

I seek to date people who I desire, desire me back, and have enough character that they treat me well regardless of who it hotter.

INFPneedshelp · 2023-02-05T01:36:52+00:00

"I mean , of course bias because everyone think they are better looking than anyone else" Uh what? Sooo many ppl hate how they look.

I am prob older than you, but who is more conventionally attractive is not important. Are you attracted to each other? Do you respect one another and have fun together? Then don't ruin it by having dumb arguments over who is more conventionally attractive.

MediumBaseball5339 · 2023-02-05T01:36:00+00:00

Ah to be young and naive again where life revolves only around looks.

If a person obsesses over looks to this extent, they are a red flag.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-02-05T03:40:45+00:00

It's incredibly subjective. The guy I would think is hotter than I am my sister might think is a lot less hot, and he himself might think we're "equal". I find the guys my little sister goes for the exact opposite of my types.

People try to moralize, tell people to stay in their 'league' or their lane, but really you don't know what the other person is into and attraction is involuntary. I advocate all "Swipe right" on everyone they genuinely find attractive, whether or not their looks are similar to yours. Let someone else reject you if they want to, don't reject yourself for them on their behalf if you actually like them and think they might be compatible.

Background_Active250 · 2023-02-05T01:29:10+00:00

No disrespect, but these are very shallow evaluations of a relationship. My husband and I don't try to determine who married "up or down.". We built a relationship and life together because we love each other, not because one settled for a time and the other thought they couldn't do better. My husband accepts me for me and vice versa.

cherryapp · 2023-02-05T01:32:39+00:00

Relationships work best when the woman looks better than the man. If the man looks better, the woman will feel insecure and ugly.

DryOutcome3407 · 2023-02-05T01:46:40+00:00

No, if you're young your relationship is on borrowed time. Who is the better looking don't matter, she already said she thinks she's the better looking, soon she will dip on Chad cock thinking she's good looking enought to get commitment and when he don't commit she will come back crying to you and if you're a simp you'll receive her with open arms.

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EugeneCezanne · 2023-02-05T02:07:18+00:00

In an actual relationship, it doesn’t matter. How much efffort she puts in or how much she desires you isn’t determined by any one superficial thing anyway. You have a whole relationship.

gate18 · 2023-02-05T02:11:10+00:00

I don't think it matters. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if I thought I was more attractive than the woman in front of me, she has zero chances with me :)

Seriously.

I understand that she might have her own complexes and she may think I'm out of her league, but genuinely I can't fathom being better looking than a woman I'm into

I mean , of course bias because everyone think they are better looking than anyone else.

That's the other reason why this doesn't matter. If she thinks she's better looking than me, and if she's the kind of person that thinks therefore I'm just a placeholder, then even if she's objectively less attractive than me, reality matters little.

If I'm a 7 and she's a 10 and if I think I'm a 10 and she's a 3, then reality doesn't matter to how I react to my warped subjectivity.

Let's face it if any of her friends say you can do better, it will force her to evaluate you.

Depending on what type of friends she has, they will say such a thing even if you are a 10. It's just pointless pretending that people (especially a group of friends) are rational. There are groups that tell you the truth (that "we always disliked her/him") only after you brake up. So her friend's reactions isn't based on objectivity.

Catherine Zeta-Jones' friends surly know she can do better than an old man. Why don't they tell her so?

I mean who wouldn't want to be that hot guy that is out of a girl's league?

Honestly, me. In that I could not give a shit. In that if I'm out of her league I don't want her. If she's worse looking than me than I'm going out with a man.

Long story short, looks matter little, she will always be better looking than me (in my eyes), other things make or break relationships

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-02-05T02:47:17+00:00

If she's with you she's probably thinks you're good-looking enough.

Someone is always gonna be a bit more attractive than the other, more often the girl it's the girl who'll be more attractive.

That's true for relationships.

For hookups there's inflation of guys and the guy needs to look better than usual.

The question is are you attractive? Comparing yourself to her is meaningless, your competition is other guys, not her.

Cat_Lover259 · 2023-02-05T04:49:00+00:00

I had a situation where a lot of men were telling me that I’m too good for my bf in the looks department. That I should have higher standards for myself and find someone who matches me in “sexiness”. They were jealous and in that jealousy they chose to attack my bfs appearance to make themselves look good. I don’t care about looks like most women. They instantly became “ugly” in my eyes after telling me that, thinking I was going to leave my bf for them LOL. He’s better than all of them combined.

That girl is a bitch for even mentioning that she is more attractive than you. Please for your own sake leave her and find someone who doesn’t care about that.

Affectionate_Pen_623 · 2023-02-05T06:01:09+00:00

People are claiming these evaluations are shallow, but they actually matter a lot. As someone who looks pretty "unique" and has a girlfriend who doesn't garner as much attention as I do, I've really soured on the idea that looks arent significant part of not only a relationships health but the perceptions towards it, which can be massively influential over its trajectory.

These comments are also why I hate this subs female contributors, if they're not trying to convince you that they love short feminine men, they're trying to convince you they never want kids and, here at least, that looks aren't a significant factor in dating. It's all so tiring and disingenuous. I think its the big problem I have with westerners in general, we are all so fucking shallow and yet spend more time than anyone trying to convince everyone that we are not. It's insufferable.

2023-02-05T08:15:06+00:00

Here's the solution. Your girl should be 3 points under your level and 1 point when she gets ready to go out - but have a 10 body. That's the best combo of her trying her best - and you getting the best. But, you need to be well put toghether as well for this - because there's not many 1s with a 10 body.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-02-05T09:12:52+00:00

Both of you should ideally think the other one looks better. If you think that you look better than your partner, and you're not attracted to yourself, you probably don't find your partner too attractive.

CimZim · 2023-02-05T11:47:25+00:00

I mean , of course bias because everyone think they are better looking than anyone else.

What? Um, no. People have eyes and can usually make pretty spot on comparisons. It would be delusional to believe you're just somehow more attractive than anyone else.

however when shown pic of us as a couple, people will say we look good together, or I look fine.

Then it sounds like you're matching in looks.

Let's face it if any of her friends say you can do better, it will force her to evaluate you.

Hopefully she already evaluates you, like you evaluate her. I mean, it's not like other people are needed for someone's eyes to work, you're always fully capable and aware of what your partner looks like lol. Now sometimes one's friends can have different taste in what they find physically attractive, and so they don't see what you do...maybe that's what you mean?

It was always said that a women should always look better than a man because 1) she has makeup for enhancement

True, makeup is available for women to buy but some of us don't want to use any. Personally I don't own any because I don't like having unnecessary stuff on my face, it's a frivolous expense that I can use for food instead, and it's better imo to have an un-enhanced face.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-02-05T15:42:36+00:00

It doesn’t really matter. What matters is her perception.

If a lot of women think you are a hot/handsome guy, that’s really all you need. Women tend to evaluate a man based on what the collective group thinks of him. Social proof.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-02-05T16:49:45+00:00

You’re conflating the fact that men rely on a lot more than just looks to be considered attractive

Comfortable-Clock-44 · 2023-02-05T14:10:40+00:00

Parents aren't supposed to look better than one another but women hate being lied to

Sea_Regular_3520 · 2023-02-05T14:58:54+00:00

It’s completely normal. Women don’t date men who are equal to them.

Anyone that says otherwise does not go out enough.

Title	is it normal to have her look better than you in a relationship ?
Author	Learningcanbefunfun
Upvotes	2
Comments	47
Date	February 5, 2023 1:22 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10tx6tq/is_it_normal_to_have_her_look_better_than_you_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-normal-to-have-her-look-better-than-you-in-a.1150845 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150845

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