Hey guys, well I didn't really know where else to post this. I am a 20 year old male and this is my story.

I got invited to a party in another town earlier this week, it's about 30 minutes drive away from the town I live in. So after pre-drinks at my buddies, I headed out to this other town to meet people, this was about 11pm by this point.

Got there no problem, immediately met this gorgeous girl, pretty face, great body, big perky breasts and a nice ass! (HB8 if you're familiar with the term) So naturally I started flirting with her. Anyway the night progressed as usual, me and this girl talked a little bit on and off. Blah blah blah boring irrelevant filler stuff. When talking to a couple guys I know they're like "Oh dude stay away from her name, she's a total slut", and this other girl is like "Aww dude, no. Just no!". This put me off a little bit but I'm not really someone to pay any attention to gossip, I think girls want sex just as much as we do, and me & this girl seem to get along so whatever I just ignore it.

Eventually it gets to what I think is about 4 or 5am, I am lying on my back in a bedroom feeling rough as fuck with no shirt on sort of passing in and out of full consciousness. The next thing I know this girl is next to me, she bends down & kisses me, I kiss back. She grabs my cock out and starts jerking me off. I'm just lying there like "Hey, I'm okay with this"

The next thing I know she pulls my pants right off and straddles me 'cowgirl' style. At this point I realize this chick is completely naked! Sort of grinding on me and still stroking my dick. At this point I have woken up somewhat and I'm like damn I'm totally getting laid. I grab my pants and look in the pocket to reach for my wallet because I know I have a condom in it, and my pocket is empty! Wallet gone! Shit. I look back at the girl and say "Fuck have you got a condom?!" to which she says "No! It's fine I'm on the pill."

Whoaa something just hits me, I think slow the fuck down and remember what people were saying earlier. Me: "That's not the point!" Her: "Hey fuck you, I'm clean!" Me: "Why, have you been tested?" Her: "No, I'm just clean!" Me: "Um okay, I'm not just going to take your word for it! How many people have you had sex with anyway?" Her: "I don't know, like 25 or 30! I've been on the pill since I was 16 it's fine I'm clean" Me: "You keep saying that. I'm not risking it sorry." I say, after thinking shit that is a lot of people and I have no idea where she's been.

At this point her whole persona changes. She grabs my dick and tries to stick it in her and I lift my knees up to stop her. I'm like "Hey what the fuck! I said I'm not having sex with you without a condom!" and she's like "Oh come on aren't you tempted! Fuck me!", I say "Look it's not happening sorry". She starts to get really aggressive and shouts at me "Shut up you fucking pussy and pound me already!" At this point I get pretty pissed, I say back "Look get the fuck off me! It's not happening!" and I try to roll over & throw her off and completely fail. Jesus christ this girl seems heavy, she's thin but she's just totally rooted there! Bear in mind I'm ruined at this point and I don't want to be too violent & hurt her. This seems to really, really piss her off, she gets full on 'angry face' and slaps in in the side of the head, hard. She has a bunch of big rings on and it hurt like hell I'll tell you that much! I see stars for a second (which has only happened once before in my life when I crashed racing downhill mountain bikes) & I think she thrust down and stuck my dick inside her, she's super loose I don't feel any of the usual 'vagina' feelings just sort of, space... I shout at her "Fuck you slut! Get the fuck off me!" she slaps me again kind of over the ear, my ear pops and I feel dizzy, and one of her rings hits me right in the temple and I just black out.

I woke up what I guess was a few hours later to find us both totally naked & her fast asleep next to me with head head on my shoulder. I just got up, got my shit and fucking left. Got on the next train back home.

I didn't really realize how much it affected me, just sort of blew it off in the manly 'no emotions' way and put it down as a shitty experience. But I have to admit I felt quite emotional typing this, and I tried jerking off last night and I couldn't even get an erection, I'm honestly really fucked up about this! Especially because I am seeing another woman and I really like her, I'm embarassed, ashamed, afraid, sad, I don't even know.

I don't know if this is the right place for this but I discovered this reddit & decided I would post it. I haven't told anyone I know, but I really wanted to share it & this is essentially a throw away account. Sorry if this is badly written/hard to read.

Edit: Update

Since a lot of people have said/asked/mentioned in the comments here are the answers

  • I will be getting an STI test.
  • I found my wallet with nothing missing, it was with my shirt.
  • I am going to look for a local female therapist that I 'click' with.
  • I will seriously consider contacting the police. I live in a small town in rednecks-ville however, small to the point I actually know the names of half our local officers, and I suspect it will be essentially pointless. They may even mock me themselves.