Take video games - or actually, any other non competitive game - as a classic example. Every time I’ve played video games with a guy, it becomes a competition of who is better. Despite it for example being a 1-2 player game of just exploration with no competition (so no bonus of being better at the game), it’s always about their perceived “talent” and not simply enjoying themselves. They’d rather be the most skilled at fucking Lego Star Wars of all things than have a fun afternoon with a friend/gf/sister.

I notice this a lot in environments like pub quizzes or just general low-stakes events where groups can enjoy each other’s company. These are areas where being skilled is essentially valueless and where being too competitive drains literally every drop of fun for everyone else.

It’s not even necessarily an insecurity thing from what I can gather and from the men I’ve seen who act this way. Where does it come from and why would they rather be right than happy? It makes me miserable to be around.