TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

It bothers me so much that most men see sex as something humiliating and degrading done to women and that they see woman as an submissive sex object, just body parts to use. And this is why i hate porn so much... It basically traumatized me and ruined sex for me forever.

[deleted]

September 22, 2020

360 upvotes

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Post Information

Title	It bothers me so much that most men see sex as something humiliating and degrading done to women and that they see woman as an submissive sex object, just body parts to use. And this is why i hate porn so much... It basically traumatized me and ruined sex for me forever.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	360
Comments	64
Date	September 22, 2020 8:25 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ixjga4/it_bothers_me_so_much_that_most_men_see_sex_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/it-bothers-me-so-much-that-most-men-see-sex-as.1195084 https://theredarchive.com/post/1195084

Comments

[–]SaitschikFDS Disciple 280 points281 points282 points 5 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]misty-museFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ello-mottoFDS Apprentice 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]321tina321FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]SaitschikFDS Disciple 40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]KAT_85FDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]KAT_85FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DadaExperimentFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Nifteroni-and-CheeseFDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 110 points111 points112 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]cremebruleecakesFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Wrong-KeyFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist 77 points78 points79 points 5 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

Yes! I relate 100%. It’s porn and our overly obsessed pornified world. The softcore porn of the 80s was bad enough, and still caused men to objectify women, and feel decreased satisfaction with their partner’s attractiveness after exposure to softcore images. But now it’s far worse, it’s violent, degrading, and pedophilic in nature. It’s so prevalent in our society that women are literally assaulted every minute of every waking hour - when they leave their homes it’s on billboards, it’s men checking them out and objectifying them, or not checking them out and instead checking out other women, it’s men’s locker room talk, on expectations of women to look and act and be a certain way. It’s in their homes - their partners use, or even just browsing social media where it’s in advertising material, and in girls objectifying themselves online, in their friends doing only fans - and the conflicting feelings of wanting to support a friend, but also disliking the way it adds to our trauma, and the misogyny it supports but being scared to call it out for fear of being labelled jealous or a prude.

On another sub a girl posted about not feeling sexual towards her boyfriend, because of the sexualised culture we live in. Everyone expressed feeling sorry for the boyfriend and completely ignored the effects our porn world has on women, claiming she MUST be asexual or have emotional or physical issues. NO! She’s probably traumatised! I know because I feel like towards sex most of the time. But if I feel safe and comfortable, which doesn’t even have to be in a love based relationship, it can just be a genuine human and respectful connection (which is rare), then my libido comes back!

Women are told to do therapy to work through these “issues”. But as soon as they leave the therapist’s office and they’ve torn their own “malfunctioning” brain to shreds, used CBT to make them see the world as the positive place it is (sarcasm), then they walk out the door and are attacked again with porn images and porn talk. It’s gaslighting them into thinking THEY are the problem. Women are not the problem! Society is.

Edit: spelling and grammar

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

the boyfriend and completely ignored the effects our porn world has on women, claiming she MUST be asexual or have emotional or physical issues.

I grew up in a time when sex was just about becoming mainstream. Watching sex scenes on tv was kind of sexy because it wasn't the norm. Today sex is everywhere you look and its pretty much inescapable. A boyfriend once asked me why I never walk about naked and I mentioned this to him. I said that seeing sex all the time desensitised sexiness. I said that if I was seen naked all the time how sexy would that feel to him? He agreed that he found it sexier when I was occasionally nude as opposed to the times when we just hung out in the summer with no clothes on, he just never thought about it. (This ex was one of the rare guys that never used porn).

I just don't find sex scenes sexy anymore or seeing endless guys with shirts off etc. I'm desensitised to sexiness and I don't like it. There is nothing wrong with my attraction to men or libido, I am just overly stimulated to the point a guy taking off his shirt is kind of meh.

[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Escalation studies have been done across the board, from paedophilia, domestic violence/abuse, to porn usage and beyond. Even subs like this will change people's perceptions over the course of time. The old adage "TV will rot your brain" was more true than we realised. It actually has the ability to change neural networks and anything that's constantly bombarding your brain will affect how you behave, think and feel on a subconscious level. Facebook studies have been fascinating in understanding how scrolling for hours about the positives in people's lives has a detrimental effect on people's mental health and feeling like a failure for their own lives. Some of it seems to work off dominant personality traits so hypersexuality could depend on both biological stimulus (hormones) as well as neurological hypersensitivity.

[–]DozyDoveFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]IwantyoualltoBEDAVEPickmeisha™️ 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ObscureoblivionFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]2340000FDS Apprentice 95 points96 points97 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lilybb16FDS Newbie 64 points65 points66 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]KAT_85FDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]MulkvisteeFDS Apprentice 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]KAT_85FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]MulkvisteeFDS Apprentice 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]h_witkoPickmeisha™️ 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]HoneyNJ2000 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]KAT_85FDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]321tina321FDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]DadaExperimentFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]321tina321FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lilybb16FDS Newbie 90 points91 points92 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]blacklikeyourheartFDS Newbie 107 points108 points109 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Mimory125 50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]KAT_85FDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I think more women than you'd initially think actually hate this on a deep level and don't see that there are any other alternatives. We end up policing each other for the benefit of men who won't ever truly care for us. Women in conservative circles have been doing this forever. Just accept who he is, love him through his problems, stand in the gap... whatever euphemism is being pushed at the moment, and you'll be rewarded by his love and devotion. Unfortunately, we can see from the conservative example that this approach just engenders more abuse, less respect, less autonomy. By the time the women realize what they've done to themselves and their daughters, they're so old that nobody will listen to them. So the cycle repeats. We just have the liberal feminist version of this mistake running the cultural narrative at the moment. So you're no less feminine than other women. They just have poor boundaries and don't realize it.

[–]cancerkidetteFDS Newbie 53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]321tina321FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's an illusion and its built on fear and dread of losing their own illusions. The illusion of gender roles is actually sacred to some people like an easy comfort zone. I think we have no idea just how terrified people like this are. We underestimate it. They dont live in fear they live in terror because they build their identities around simple comfortable lies. They are terrified they're wrong and that it's not that simple and that they'll lose their status. Which has slowly been corroded for centuries, especially this century. You may not appreciate it because you see how the grass is greener on the other side but they are driven to insanity and hysteria over their simple lies. When you grow up it will become clear. Nothing they say is consistent. It doesn't matter if you look like Kim Kardashian to them if you dont understand their precious simple lies they will pick you out and out will come the hysteria. I mean just look at how they treat powerful women celebrities.

[–]sappfirestarFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Imaginsanion39 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Imaginsanion24 points 5 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ObscureoblivionFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

There is a psychological aspect to this. So in general humans have evolved to avoid being under a cognitive overload. Because our brains prefer to not have an overload, people essentially categorize and label things consciously or subconsciously. So next time you talk about a certain topic or see something, you immediately go to that “file” in your brain that makes it easy for you to understand. That “file” in your brain essentially groups everything together so that it takes it easy on your cognition. But this also avoids forcing you to think critically about any of the things you process on a day to day basis unless you force yourself to circumvent that process. You must force yourself to question things instead of involuntarily processing it using your automatic “file.” It explains why politics are the way they are. It explains society at a large scale. The acceptance of society standards....The disregard for human equality...

[–]Imaginsanion4 points 5 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ObscureoblivionFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ObscureoblivionFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mimory125 60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]rinabeanFDS Apprentice 74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mimory125 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]IwantyoualltoBEDAVEPickmeisha™️ 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]asteria2002FDS Apprentice 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]abstractsadgurlFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LemonsToo5FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Porn dehumanizes women. Ted Bundy said that his addiction to porn was a factor in why he went on a killing spree. Not all men will treat you like you're an object to be used. This is why FDS is so important. You can learn how to weed out LVM.

"With the clock ticking toward his scheduled execution, Ted Bundy tearfully blamed a growing addiction to pornography for fueling one of the most gruesome killing sprees in recent history.

During an intimate interview with a California broadcaster Monday, Bundy dredged up memories of a happy childhood that turned into a tortured Jekyll-and-Hyde nightmare.

Pornography . . . was the fuel for his fantasies to do the things he did,'' said James Dobson, who videotaped his interview. ''There was a great deal of remorse. He wept several times while talking to me. He`s going through a lot of agony tonight.''

BUNDY BLAMES PORNOGRAPHY

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter