Questions for those who MGTOW / WGTOW

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-03-26T01:55:10+00:00

Certainly involuntary. Unfortunately despite a friendly demeanor, I don’t excel in projecting confidence and assertiveness and occasionally I’ll say odd things that generally don’t offer much value to a woman outside of acquaintance that makes them laugh when they’re feeling down.

Despite my social shortcomings I did have a few relationships, but the relationships ended with infidelity on their part. And despite some attempts at reconciliation, I don’t have a forgiving nature it seems.

Coping with loneliness has unfortunately been slowly giving into my more angry and hostile impulses. I’m guessing it’s a theory of being angry and bitter being more useful than sadness and depression.

I guess I hold out a sim hope that I’ll meet someone, but I usually manage to give myself a reverse pep talk and detail the list of reasons why that won’t happen.

Basically is a mental struggle against myself and I’m losing. I see a nice sweet cute girl and go right into a worst case scenario fantasy and move on.

NockerJoe · 2022-03-26T01:46:15+00:00

Outside of asexuality most people there have been burned before by trying. Even among asexuals I find a lot of them still want sex or relationships but are using the label for other reasons.

2022-03-26T03:36:14+00:00

Truly voluntary? Yes. I quit the dating scene at 27 and stopped pursuing anything long term or cohabitation around the same time. Got a vasectomy at 30.
My story was more about observing what was happening around me to guys in my family after getting put through the ringer and tossed aside. Between that and the loss of freedom that comes in a relationship I didn't see a point in one.
Nope, I have nieces and nephews and that's good enough. I don't see a point in having kids of my own.
I still date casually and I have good friends who are in a lot of ways better than family
Yes

raju1462 · 2022-03-26T05:15:40+00:00

I am not sure if I strictly fit the MGTOW bill because I am asexual but I have been part of that community and my friend is an MGTOW. So here's my thoughts based on what I learned from the groups & my friend:

A) This is not a straight answer. No Straight guy wants to go MGTOW but they do so because they realized that the game is rigged (not just the dating but the govt and law as well) or got burned badly. Maybe someone got divorce-raped (My Friend). Someone who saw his best friend got divorce-raped (Me). Cheated on. Lost child-custody due to the biased system. Falsely accused of sexual assault. Paternity Fraud or any such instances.

B) My friend was screwed over in divorce badly. All because he couldn't give her a luxurious lifestyle that her sister got. She didn't work btw. The constant humiliation he faced because he couldn't earn more and provide for her was too much. It's been 3 years and he still pays her Alimony. That's when he went MGTOW and has been since.

C) We both will do it. I want a kid. He has a kid already but wants another.

D) Porn for sexual frustration. Friends & Family for loneliness. Works most of the time.

E) Nope and never will. But there are MGTOWs who engage in Casual Sex and even with escorts. You just have to be cautious in regards to STDs and to avoid any fall out.

Based on your edit, I would say it will be voluntary MGTOW. Akin to leaving a Job that is making your life hell. You were not fired. You chose to leave because it was detrimental to yourself. So it is voluntary even if it means the situation became hostile enough for you to choose to leave.

So you choosing to go MGTOW because you understand the juice isn't worth the squeeze makes it voluntary imo.

This is cause the system is rigged to the core against Men, especially re: online dating and dual mating.

It's not just that. Even law and the society is completely rigged against men.

trettles · 2022-03-26T05:43:48+00:00

I’m WGTOW and it’s largely voluntary. I’m sure I could find someone to get into a relationship with, but I’ve made absolutely no effort to make that happen in several years. My age also makes it harder because anyone worth getting involved with is generally already married.

I’ve been in several LTRs of around 3 years each and hated all of them beyond the first few months. I don’t like being tied down & controlled. I don’t like jealousy. I have no desire for family life or kids or in-laws.

I have no plans to adopt. I was sterilized a few years back.

I’ve never felt more lonely than when I’ve been in relationships. Admittedly it’s probably because they’ve been the wrong people for me. I definitely made some wrong choices, but I’m not sure “Mr Right” would change that. If I want to be around people, I visit a friend.

I used to have casual sex/FWBs, but since becoming acquainted with the manosphere, it’s completely turned me off men all together. I’m not sure I’ll ever look back.

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2022-03-26T03:39:24+00:00

1.) Theres no such thing as WGTOW in a gynocentric society. Women will not, ever, divorce themselves from a society where they are net tax burdens. Even on an individual level, WGTOW can only rise out of personal problems such as a woman being resentful that her father called her a slut. There are no societal level systemic gender issues that WGTOW solves, as society only acts in the benefit of women in the West. Therefore, WGTOW does not exist.

MGTOW, on the other hand, addresses societies problem of systemic misandry such as in the family courts and our marriage and divorce laws by telling men to forge their own paths. It is also a response to those in power becoming increasingly controlling, and advocates for individual liberty and sovereignty of the individual from government. In other words, MGTOW does not stem from personal problems, it only stems from systemic societal problems, hence why MGTOW can exist, and why men have a reason to GTOW.

And yes, MGTOW is actually possible. As is evidenced by the increasing number of young men opting out of a society that hates them systemically. Both in government and in business, misandry has become one of the most commonly accepted forms of hate in our society, thus is why MGTOW exists (and WGTOW cannot).

MGTOW is also involuntary because men are not given the choice as to the society they are born into. They were simply dealt a bad hand. WGTOW (or what I should call a woman simply being single) is voluntary and self induced, largely a product of the individual woman's own actions.

cats_walt · 2022-03-26T02:23:10+00:00

I'm just trying to make the best choices with what I got

social_mule · 2022-03-26T12:05:45+00:00

Is this truly voluntarily? As in did you set out to have a single life,
or did it happen due to inabilty to find a partner who meets what you
are seeking (due to lack of numbers, market matching inefficiencies, the
people you desire not desiring you, etc.?)

Yes. I'm an older man (49) but when I was younger I always figured marriage and family was something I'd pursue as I got older. Then I got older and compared the life I was living to the lives of my married and divorced friends and came to the conclusion that the bachelor life I was already living was the better deal.

What has been your story leading to MGTOW / WGTOW?

I actually tell my story here when a similar question was asked a few months ago.

Do you plan on adopting or using a sperm donor / surrogate mother to have kids?

No.

How do you handle loneliness and / or sexual frustration?

Loneliness isn't an issue. Introversion is an interesting thing and I'm always surprised by the number of people who don't understand such a simple concept. Some people simply don't want to be around lots of other people because it drains the energy out of us. Those people are called introverts and we prefer to be alone. Alone =/= lonely. As for the sexual frustration, I handle it through ONSs, FWBs and escorts.

Have you ever been in a relationship and / or had casual sex?

Yes.

Do you still seek out casual dating?

Casual sex but not casual dating. In polite society I may refer to what I do as dating but the act of making plans, picking a lady up pat her home, enjoying an evening together etc isn't something I engage in. So no, I do not date casually or otherwise.

RavioliPocketoli1999 · 2022-03-26T02:01:02+00:00

1 Burned out from going through so many prospects while also having varying motivations. At this point I feel as though it’s not worth the money, time, and effort anymore.

2 virgin until 19, never had a kiss until then. Went through a very promiscuous phase in my life until I eventually learned my lessons and put the brakes on it.

3 I don’t want children. I firmly believe putting resources into relationships and children make it difficult for a man to be wealthy.

4 I’ve been “somewhat” alone (not counting a week long fling) for roughly 2 years now. It’s gotten to the point where I do day dream of being with someone I would like to be with however when it does come to a time where someone stays with me I get repulsed and want my space. I also find some reason to work more hours despite not being paid over time. My job is in health care so I get sense of being self full filled. With sexual frustration.. just hop on websites, if you get my drift.

5 I have been in a relationship, 5 to be exact. None of them have been longer than 3 months. Yes, I’ve had casual sex. At this point in life I do not seek out casual dating. I feel as though I have regressed in regards to social skills.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-03-26T05:34:42+00:00

It's voluntary
I'm just not interested in romantic/sexual relationships to be seeking those out.
I plan of not having children. Worst case - adoption.
I live with my parents, so there is always someone in the house. I also go to social events from time to time (like magic the gathering, pen and paper rpg). There is also pet, co-workers and friends (and maybe even video games) that fill the social needs. For sexual stuff just turn on imagination/certain web pages and masturbate. 5 minutes few days in a month (i think a sertain stage in the menstrual cycle makes me horny enough to want to mastuebate) and done.
Never have been in a romantic/sexual relationship and are not seeking them out.

IcarusKiki · 2022-03-26T17:36:05+00:00

I wouldnt say I’m WGTOW FOREVER nor would I label myself as that but I am taking a break from dating right now so I guess I can answer.

I would say its kind of voluntary as I know I can get dates/relationships if I tried but if the perfect guy for me came up to me tomorrow I wouldnt say no.
Virgin until 20 when I got a boyfriend over quarantine and lost it to him. He was a good bf for a while and we had fun but eventually I had to back to school on the opposite side of the country and it didnt work out. Plus we had a lot of differences in our life paths so it wouldnt have lasted long anyways. After we broke up last year I just have been too busy in college to start dating and looking for a potential relationship plus encountered health issues that made it hard to date.
No, Im ok being childless or having kids if I have a partner and it comes to that but I would never be a single mom.
I have many good friends and a vibe.
I have never had casual sex but I have been in a relationship. No interest in casual.

Shakanaka · 2022-03-26T07:30:35+00:00

"WGTOW"

lol

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-03-26T03:53:11+00:00

I have only one friend who would maybe qualify as WGTOW, and since I know her well I can answer these.

I'd say it's voluntary. She's had guys get interested and hooks up with them sometimes. But she was previously married and her ex got abusive, and she's just not interested in giving anyone else a chance.
See above. Her father was also quite abusive. She's never had a high opinion of men.
She likes kids but doesn't want any of her own.
She has toys and a ton of friends.
She has had both. To my knowledge, she's only actively pursued a guy once since her separation. She asked him out and he basically ignored her.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-26T03:17:07+00:00

Never have and would never ever consider it. I love women and pussy. Love everything about women. I adore them. You wanna know my secret? As much as I adore women, I adore myself even more. I accept myself exactly as I am and that is such a powerful proposition to most women that many find me incredibly attractive (it also helps that I'm married and the ultimate challenge for them). There is absolutely no need for a man who likes and accepts himself to ever sleep alone. Maybe he won't bed super models, but there will be plenty of women who want to be wjth a man like this.

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2022-03-26T03:28:38+00:00

no it’s involuntary. I’ve not been able to find a partner. It’s been due to different reasons throughout my life. Sometimes it’s due to me, sometimes circumstance. Sometimes I have listened to bad advice from women, not having enough self esteem, being too poor and then women doing better etc. I have developed an existential hatred of women and anything feminist in particular. I’ve grown up around feminists and have been absorbing male hatred and resentment of men which has eroded my sense of self and my sexuality. I get panic attack when trying to be sexual (flirting, being forward with) with women.
I think just getting burned by chasing women and getting nothing but pain out of it. I’ve been around feminist a lot so I kind of converted the KAM (5-32y) mindset into KAW (32-40y) mindset. It’s not healthy but that’s pretty much what has happened. I feel burned by women because I tried really hard to live up to this new modern ideal of a man that they said they wanted only to have it lead to sexlessness, ineptitude, poor social skills, bad self esteem, suicide thoughts and poverty. They insisted on that there was gold, sex and glory on the other side of the rainbow for me (it would just take some time) but in the end there was only misery. It was just a power trip for them. I will never be able to trust a woman again. I always assume malicious intent.
surrogacy is illegal here and only one or two single men have been able to adopt in recent years. So I’m involuntary childless also yes.
I bought a sex doll who I consider to be my girlfriend. It has no brain but at least I can trust it to never hurt me. I also see therapists since 6 years back or so. I eat antidepresssnts to numb the pain and then I drink a lot of alcohol.
yes I’m in dating apps but have not really had any success. I do match more with women the older I get but it’s difficult. Before 35 I got about one like a month and nowadays I get maybe 5 likes per month and one match per month. I’m almost 40 and pretty much a virgin while women have been through lots of relationships. We can’t relate to each other and they have a huge power advantage over me at any stage of the relationship. I don’t want to be taken advantage of financially so I try to avoid single moms.

So yeah I was cast feminist but has converted to woman hater. Not healthy but I try my best to deal with it through sex doll, avoiding women and voting fascist to root them out from society. I see a therapist and eat antidepressants to deal with the emotions around it.

Edit: Though I hate women the one I hate the most is myself. I can’t get over what’s stupid f-ing retard I have been to trust women and absorb all that self hatred. I can’t believe I was so naive and stupid. It’s such an existential betrayal of myself as a person and organism. I will never forgive myself for this.

Outside of these problems with women I’m doing really well. Earn a good tech salary, have huge savings, have bunch of friends (one of my closest is a woman). I have hobbies etc.

Glittering_Ad_1415 · 2022-03-26T04:20:40+00:00

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2022-03-26T02:23:51+00:00

Do periods of MGTOW with a more passive approach to dating (if it occurs within things I already do, cool, but I'm not really pursuing) count? I'll go with sure, though I may end up in an LTR someday if the right one strikes.

Is this truly voluntary - for me, yes. But I'm not fully "my own way," as I get laid by existing here and there. My last LTR before I stopped pursuing women--two years ago--was very, very attractive. I could get laid or have an LTR.

What's your story - Was unconfident in HS, didn't talk to women, didn't have "clout." Was not treated gr8 by them as a result; went to college, am attractive, got laid tons and had a hot LTR; being involved with women led to me being a worse person (because a lot of 'bad person' traits are attractive), and also I didn't really ever 'process the breakup' I had... insofar as, it baffles me how some people have multiple former relationships like the one that I have. It seems super icy to me. Like people don't have feelings. It's hard to trust the general world when the general world seems okay with that being normal.

Do you plan on adopting - No, I will either luck into meeting the right LTR or not have kids at all.

How do you handle loneliness - by completely withdrawing from society and focusing inwardly, I have realized how ridiculous it all is. I am content with nothing but my own brain to amuse me; I would rather sit in thought than do many things.

Have you ever - Like I said, yes. But I'm not "pure MGTOW," neither would I wear it as a badge of honor. I just don't like the world around me or the people in it much, I don't get them, and I like myself better. I am enough for me--very liberating.

Quealpedoestoy · 2022-03-26T05:26:51+00:00

33M here

Is this truly voluntarily? As in did you set out to have a single life, or did it happen due to inabilty to find a partner who meets what you are seeking (due to lack of numbers, market matching inefficiencies, the people you desire not desiring you, etc.?)

75% involuntary, 25% voluntary. I lack some social skills required to catch and generate sexual tension (others I have, but just rusted), signs of interest have to be very explicit for me to catch them. Im stereotipical atractive but fail to catch a womans eye. After some time I kinda stopped giving a fuck and gave up on trying to find that special someone, now I invest all my time and money on myself.

What has been your story leading to MGTOW / WGTOW?

I guess the same as all of us, got raised by Blue Pill bullshit, failed a lot, searched answers on the internet, found TRP community, started resenting woman a bit, kinda stopped giving a fuck and now I live for myself

Do you plan on adopting or using a sperm donor / surrogate mother to have kids?

HELL NO

How do you handle loneliness and / or sexual frustration?

Yes, but Im used to it

Have you ever been in a relationship and / or had casual sex? Do you still seek out casual dating?

Yes, first time at 21 (with my only GF so far, it lasted 3 months), second at 29 (a few times with that girl), third time witha ONS from Bumble at 32.

(yes, 8 years dry spell)

I make an atempt with OLD once a year (no longer than 2 months), the succes rate has been very low. I dont want to make a greater effort then what Im currently making, its not worth it.

TheEternalGhost · 2022-03-26T05:30:50+00:00

Is this truly voluntarily? As in did you set out to have a single life

I didn't set out to have a single life from the very beginning, but through experiencing multiple LTRs I realised that I'm happiest when I'm single and only having casual arrangements with women. I'm at a stage in my life where I'm fine being completely on my own too. I won't rule out the possibility that I meet someone that changes my mind about LTRs, but I'm not looking for it and would avoid it by default.

Do you plan on adopting or using a sperm donor / surrogate mother to have kids?

I knew from the age of 17 that I didn't want kids, and I haven't changed my mind (despite being assured I would by countless older women) and am now in my 40's.

How do you handle loneliness and / or sexual frustration?

I'm not lonely, I have plenty of friends. MGTOW doesn't mean you never get to have sex either, it's not celibacy.

Have you ever been in a relationship and / or had casual sex? Do you still seek out casual dating?

I've had roughly 15 years worth of committed long term relationships with 3 different women, some FWB arrangements, and the rest girls that I casually dated for a while but fizzled out with. Generally speaking I don't look for one night stands, if I have sex with a woman I'm hoping it's good and that we'll see each other again. It doesn't always turn out that way and there have been a few times that I wasn't interested in seeing them again after the first time we had sex. I tend to give women the boyfriend-experience, I like them to stay the night, I cook for them, I talk to them and give them cuddles, etc. I just don't bring up or offer commitment. Unfortunately the best women that I've had in my life ended up catching feelings and we had to end it. I accept that as an inevitable conclusion with these types of arrangements.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-03-26T05:58:49+00:00

Is this truly voluntarily?

Not to me. Maybe some guys choose this, idk. I can't find a partner who will have me, I strongly suspect because of my disability. Wheelchairs and deformity are woman-repellent.

What has been your story leading to MGTOW

I was popular in high-school. Friends, teachers, girls, everybody liked me. But girls never wanted anything more than friendship, which was torture because I did. Same situation in college, though I lived off-campus so I didn't really make any new friends. I'm 30 now and with basically no prospects because I live in an aging community with few people my age, and fewer still who are interested in hobbies I can take part in.

Do you plan on adopting or using a sperm donor / surrogate mother to have kids?

No. Single parenthood is the worst thing you can do to a kid. They do worse by every metric; worse in school, more likely to turn to drugs or crime, even worse health somehow.

How do you handle loneliness and / or sexual frustration?

I try to keep my mind occupied with other things, but its not really working anymore.

Have you ever been in a relationship and / or had casual sex? Do you still seek out casual dating?

No, no, no.

stats135 · 2022-03-26T08:05:50+00:00

As in did you set out to have a single life

This statement seems pretty weird to me. Single life is not something you need to make an active decision to "set out to have", single life is the default you start out with. I guess technically single life requires that you have all the skills required by life instead of just half of it (ex: my grandpa never cooked a single meal, and grandma never worked a job for a single day), and to that I would say it really wasn't an option for me.

What has been your story leading to MGTOW

Well, I have always been hyper-rational, ever as a child, and when I looked at modern relationships rationally, it just doesn't make much sense. I guess the only thing that "lead up" to MGTOW would be focusing on a STEM education. But it really is a chicken or egg question. Am I a man that made life decision solely off utility optimization and thus took interest in economic/mathematics/tech/etc, or is it because of how I was educated that I looked at life the way I do.

How do you handle loneliness

I mean, just deal with it. Its only really a problem if you are someone susceptible to it. It is just something that you notice and bothers you once in a blue moon. If the mere fact that you don't have someone beside you can drive you to despair or do something irrational, I'd say thats a mental illness, and its not one I have.

Puzzled_Carob_2742 · 2022-03-26T14:02:06+00:00

What have you done to increase your odds of being able to get a relationship? You might not need MGTOW, you might just need to focus on other shit. Like lifting and making money.

To actually answer your question, there was a period where I had stopped dating, involuntary at first but then transitioned into voluntary as I started getting happier the less time I spent trying. My last relationship ended catastrophically, thought I was going to marry a girl, she cheated on me, worst pain I’d ever felt, you know the story. After the initial shock when I tried dating again I found it really difficult to actually connect with anyone, partially because expending energy actively dating is exhausting and partially because my standards are really high for a guy, not just based on appearance either. At one point I just stopped trying out of frustration, and that frustration stuck around for a couple months, but afterwards I found my life got better, more peaceful. I’m dating again but now for the most part I’m letting it come to me. I use Hinge but I never like any profiles, I only match with the likes I get. I talk to people in public a lot more, not just for dating purposes though, the last two years have made me crave connection and I’ve escaped from the head down rat race of modern life. I make conversation with baristas at my local coffee shops, talk to people on park benches, elevators, that kind of thing. If you’re a dude worth being with and you go back to basics I’m sure you’ll get what you want. 26 is also hella young for a guy, don’t sweat it. You have well into your thirties before you need to make any urgent decisions.

2022-03-26T15:44:30+00:00

I've stopped dating to be able to build myself up. Wealth building cannot be done with someone on your side. I don't know if this fits your criteria of mgtow. As for the handling of loneliness: I have fuckton of willpower to get through it. I used to have a lot of relationships. I just realized I want a top tier woman who can't go around like "I have other options so submit to me". In short: I won't be a slave to a woman. This realisation came to me after I was too weak to handle a relationship properly. Happened several times. (For instance: she loves to go shopping often and I can't afford to maintain her habit so her parents gave her cash in exchange of their controll over her life and our relationship. I have too much liberty desire to tolerate this)

atizonadoge · 2022-03-29T05:42:55+00:00

yes we choose to become mgtow because it is the right choice
i saw my friend's father get destroyed in his divorce like he was made homeless because she just had to have the house also my friend's mom has full custody over him.
no
i watch porn fro sexual frustration and i don't get energy from talking to people in fact i much prefer to be alone
i have had casual sex before but i have and never will take a woman on a "proper date"

Title	Questions for those who MGTOW / WGTOW
Author	Noirer7
Upvotes	13
Comments	53
Date	March 26, 2022 1:12 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/toabg6/questions_for_those_who_mgtow_wgtow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/questions-for-those-who-mgtow-wgtow.1210373 https://theredarchive.com/post/1210373

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