How do you guys feel about the concept of preselection?

namey_9 · 2023-05-06T16:13:20+00:00

I'm not attracted to men who are taken. It's a massive turn-off to me. Life is too short to waste time competing with other women - if he's not sure he wants me, someone else can have him.

Far_Vermicelli3705 · 2023-05-06T17:09:29+00:00

I’m a woman and I don’t care whether the guy I’m pursuing is liked by other women or not. All I care is if I like him, and I don’t deem “being liked by other women” as one of my “criteria” for whether he’s a good man in my eyes.

SweelFor- · 2023-05-06T17:22:06+00:00

Exactly how does this work in real world situations?

Do women meet men who have 3 women at their feet, and so that woman feels attracted to the man? I guess that can happen, in 1 in 10000 dating situations.

If a woman meets a man at work that she likes, does she telepathically figured out that he has casual sex with 3 women outside of work?

If a woman likes a man, and they start dating, and she figured out that he is not dating other women at the same time, is she... turned off?

Is there literally any evidence whatsoever that this concept is valid? Have you questionned it? Have you asked yourself "if this was true, what could make it true?" "if this was true, how would I see its effects", "if this was true, how would it only work in one way"?

When you see a random claim made by randoms on the internet, please please please, exercise critical thinking. Ask yourself, how can I know if a claim is true or not. How do you know that what you know is true or not? You must have some kind of epistemological approach to this, it is very important.

If everyone did this, I believe 50% of all of society's problems would literally be solved in 3 weeks.

Lady_Beatnik · 2023-05-06T17:36:12+00:00

There's a degree of truth to it, but not in the way redpillers want you to think. RP wants you to believe in like biological determinism and see us as animals sniffing out genes and resources.

Women have a hard time dating because a lot of men out there are dangerous and unreliable. Any time we go out with a stranger, we're taking a risk. So if a particular guy has a lot of women willing to go out with him, it's easy to see it as him having been "vetted" by other women. Of course, this isn't necessarily true though, as it is possible to manipulate more than one woman.

I think there are people out there who are always going to want what other people have regardless of gender, though.

HaveALittleGrace · 2023-05-06T14:11:10+00:00

This is where I find it funny because I have the opposite experience. If I have to 'fight' for others because that man is only good looking, I already know he's not for me. I've 'fought' for very few men in my life, but it wasn't because of their looks, money, or status.

It was because they made me laugh until my sides hurt, they loved the same music as me, we got along really well, we had the same values, etc. I would Hella date me, I like to have partners that I can get along with rather than stare at with googly eyes for our time together.

It's rarely about looks for me (though I do want you healthy enough to not be morbidly obese, and a few other hard requirements). If too many people want them, then it's just not worth it to me. There is a specific type of mentality that grows from that and I'm just not interested in those types.

But honestly this is literally just the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, so is it truly real? :/

SilverTango · 2023-05-07T00:42:54+00:00

Honestly a man wanted by many women kind of puts a damper on the relationship. More temptation for the man to cheat. The hot ones tend to be less trustworthy because women may be constantly trying to steal him away. Not to say a man can't be handsome and trustworthy, but a lifetime of access to women would be a dynamic in the relationship that I don't know I'd want to deal with.

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2023-05-06T13:58:09+00:00

If more people like you then you seem more trustworthy/worth liking. You can't get those things if someone is alone

xvszero · 2023-05-06T15:36:14+00:00

I really don't think about this at all nor do I see any reason to.

wandering0101 · 2023-05-06T16:55:46+00:00

I think that this don't exist. Yes general people respect more if you are in a relationship, but there is a very delicate question here.

Society as a whole respect more you if you have a purpose. I know respected people that are not in relationships.

The key here is to think how you see yourself when you go to meetings?

If you see yourself as a man without purpose, then this will manifest in your reality.

froofrootoo · 2023-05-06T19:27:44+00:00

I think this is hard to separate from the general halo effect of being seen with attractive people generally.

As a woman, I'd be more drawn to an attractive or unattractive man who is mainly around other attractive men. Also in my experience, men tend to approach way more when I'm around attractive women vs less attractive.

Quo_Usque · 2023-05-07T08:36:19+00:00

better service and positive attention does not necessarily equal attraction.

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-05-07T09:02:35+00:00

I think this is a manifestation of the Social Proof phenomenon. The majority of people are susceptible to it. Cialdini describes it in his book 'Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion'.

For example, if we see that many people buy a certain product we are more likely to buy it too because we believe that there is a good reason why so many desire it.

If a restaurant is crowded we believe that this is a sign of high food quality, otherwise it would be empty, right?

etc.

Cialdini doesn't mention the concept of preselection explicitly but it looks like the same concept to me: If an attractive woman is interested in or accompanies a man 'he must have qualities that make him desirable.' (Social Proof)

Social Proof works most of the time because (most) people don't question what they see and blindly follow others. This can be dangerous and we shouldn't do it, but I won't go into details here.

However, not all people are influenced by that. If u/Far_Vermicelli3705 says that preselection is not a criterion for her I believe her. I'm btw. the same. I don't care if or how much a man is liked by other women in order to decide if I like him. And if he is desired by an attractive woman, that doesn't make me more interested in him.

Hidori_Rose · 2023-05-07T10:05:28+00:00

No, in fact the more people try to “sell” a man to me the more I just start suspecting he’ll throw red flags soon lol

thestruggle-isreal · 2023-05-06T14:52:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

meisterkraus · 2023-05-06T13:50:27+00:00

It is true and it doesn't only happen in dating.

TeacherYankeeDoodle · 2023-05-07T02:42:14+00:00

I can’t bring myself to care what women think of me now in terms of attraction and, paradoxically, attract their attention more. Seemingly because of it. Seems like it’s about confidence. So, I’m inclined to ambivalently disagree.

TLDR: This is my United States of whatever

TVans14 · 2023-05-07T04:59:10+00:00

Preselection is real and it's not a red pill concept. It's actually mentioned and used in psychology as a tactic for influencing other people's behaviours. For example, in sales if you dress expensively and drive an expensive car your potential customers may assume you're a successful salesman which must mean your product has already been selected by other customers, which must mean it is good, which makes your potential customer more likely to buy. That's a form of preselection applied to sales. Pickup artists applied the term to the additional interest they get from women who see them to already be with attractive women. The red pill arose out of PUA so they just took it along with them.

I remember female friends discussing how it's so weird that they get approached by more men when they're taken as compared to when they're single, so I guess it also applies to women, though probably not with the same intensity as it does to men.

000_TheSilencedNuke · 2023-05-08T14:49:10+00:00

It’s a fact that preselection exists and is very powerful. Case study: Pete Davidson

Preselection is not a red pill concept though

Title	How do you guys feel about the concept of preselection?
Author	thestruggle-isreal
Upvotes	7
Comments	60
Date	May 6, 2023 1:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/139onu2/how_do_you_guys_feel_about_the_concept_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-you-guys-feel-about-the-concept-of.1218528 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218528

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