I've not seen the Jonah Hill issue addressed here, but it's being discussed everywhere else. All the women calling Jonah abusive coercive are just flat wrong. Those calling him controlling, are getting closer to the issue, but are still incorrect. The men defending him, however, are falling into the trap of falling into someone else's frame.

Women have an issue with what Jonah did, and after considering the matter, I agree with them. Jonah failed this, and I'll explain why, but first, let's dismantle the assertion that he was abusive or controlling. In short, he was neither because he, as is everyone, was entitled to leave the relationship at any time for any reason. Informing someone that you might do that which you are fully in your right to do is nothing other than being informative. The other person might not like, but abuse and control aren't based on feelings. These terms are being flung at Jonah simply because there is nothing else to attack him with, so they hurl shame in hopes something will strike a weak spot. It's to be brushed aside with no consideration.

Those who are saying he's controlling, are getting closer to the issue, but as is typical for them, they cannot or will not come out and directly state the issue. I'll discuss both of these facets below.

Those trying to defend Jonah by arguing against him being abusive or coercive are simply letting someone else establish the frame. Of course he's not. Arguing the point is giving it more importance that it deserves and artificially inflating the value of the accusations. Let the children be while you tend to adult matters.

But Jonah was wrong. He expected someone else to do his work, he wanted his gf to do for him what he would not do for himself--respect him.

If a man decides to go to a high-class, formal function he should know not to take Trailer Trash Tammy, with the meth teeth and face tats. If he does, he has to accept that all that happens, and we all know what will happen, is on him. It will hurt his reputation. People WILL think less of him, and rightly so. It is legitimate for other s to ask, "Is stupid? Clueless? Is he so desperate? Does he despise us?" If a man doesn't have any better options, he needs to either go alone, or if he can't handle that, just keep his ass at home on the couch. Jonah in effect took TTT to the gala.

You can't make a housewife out of a 304 and you can't expect others to respect you if you don't first respect yourself. Good on Jonah to find relationship boundaries. Good on Jonah to decide that social media 304's don't make good partners. Bad on Jonah for trying to make a social media 304 a partner anyway. You cannot expect others to respect your boundaries if you don't respect them. Jonah didn't respect his boundaries but he expected his GF to do so. That is where he failed and that's what really has women upset. He didn't lead. And women cant fucking stand to lead men they are looking to depend on. It's deeply offensive to them.

The initial role of boundaries is to help YOU vet others. If you want modesty, don't LTR a stripper. If you want peace don't date a BPD woman. If you want maturity, don't date a college sorority girl. Your boundaries should dictate who goes where in your life. If they can't be used that way, it's either because you lack self respect, self-discipline (an incredibly unattractive trait in a man) or you lack sufficient options, or all. If you find yourself in this situation, keep your ass at home. Certainly don't broadcast your failing and under no circumstances do you demand that someone else be disciplined for you or provide you with options you cannot provide for yourself. That's what Jonah did and why he's being derided.

Jonah set a boundary--no social media 304, and then immediately refused to enforce it. Instead he tried to get her to enforce it. And that made him an unappealing partner and THEN he tried to cover it as if it were HER fault. As a man, it was on him to know his boundary, see that she did not meet criteria and then ON him to have the fortitude to cut her and move on to his other options. If he did not have the integrity, fortitude or options--THAT'S ON HIM and he has to own it. Instead, he tried to put it on her...he told her, "I know you're a social media 304, and I don't like that, but I am either unable or unwilling to do anything about it. So. I want YOU to do what I cannot/will not and make the hard changes." That is when Jonah failed, that is when he, rightfully, disqualified himself as a LTR and when women, collectively, rejected him and shamed him--and rightfully so. He wanted respect even though he would not respect himself and therefore, was not respectable.