Officially lost the love of my life to redpill.

keiy_solo · 2023-07-24T23:02:55+00:00

OP you are not alone. I've been separated from my spouse for over a year due to him following RP.

The separation has been devastating but I also appreciate the time it has allowed me to get back into a safe space in my body and mind. No one should have to fight the battle of the sexes every day at home.

In my experience, the constant back and forth about RP talking points, the new level of hostility, and the lack of respect was extremely dysregulating.

Please do what's best and what's necessary for you to get back into a stable environment again so you can feel like yourself again, feel safe and have clear/quality thinking about whatever you choose to do next.

I am so very sorry you're going through this.

first_follower · 2023-07-25T02:01:17+00:00

Went through this with my ex

It’s so freeing to get away and back into reality. And it sucks to see someone you love go down that rabbit hole from being a decent person to insufferable.

It gets SO MUCH BETTER.

I’m now happily married to a man who laughs at aLpHa males because he knows they are zero competition. Who supports women’s rights, respects me, and is an equal parent to our kids.

Good men are out there.

pfiz23 · 2023-07-24T21:31:24+00:00

My ex already had narcissist tendencies, but his alignment with redpill made the relationship 10000x more unbearable.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Take a bit of comfort in knowing you are not alone in this awful turn of events.

uniquename1992 · 2023-07-24T22:51:37+00:00

Well red piller think that women is the one who initial the divorce right? How un-redpill of him initiating the divorce. I'm sorry that you are going through this nonsense

StarTrippinn · 2023-07-25T01:05:13+00:00

I wish I had this guys number because I would completely annihilate his idiotic take. His overconfident balloon is going to be burst so incredibly quick.

He thinks he's going to go out and find some gorgeous, submissive trad wife because for the first time in his life, he made a little bit of money. I would love to know even a ballpark amount of how much this man makes. Can he actually afford to be the provider? I dont mean just pay bills but also afford the lifestyle for this dream woman to live comfortably? Is he in shape? Has he ever protected anyone from anything before?

Im a submissive woman and I very much like male led relationships but I would never, ever ever date a red pill male. I don't even consider them men. I see them as insecure, scared little boys who have finally found other insecure scared boys to bond with and validate a piece of themselves that they can't validate on their own.

The sad reality is that they will never, ever become "Chad." They will never be able to date or marry the women that "Chad" dates or marries.

The women who love "Chad" or who falls for their charm, will use RP males as wallets and they know it. Thats why if you read their little posts, they talk about how much they understand that they wont be able to attract women until they are at their peak financial state. Those same women will bounce as soon as the checks start bouncing which is the opposite of what your husband has right now.

It sounds like you were willing to stay and try to make things work. That is so fucking rare in todays world.

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-07-25T07:05:26+00:00

Incredible how easily people give up their common sense. I'm so sorry, OP. Maybe we will see him here one day when he has realised what an idiot he was sacrificing your relationship for the illusion of being superior.

SuperbWaffle · 2023-07-24T23:25:26+00:00

I've lost friends to redpill, friends who were interested in science and research. I'm so sorry 💔

My suspicion is that it awakens hidden entitlement that they've been socialized with. I've also heard of cases in the TwoXChromosomes of cases with heterosexual spouses where the man ascends into a higher income bracket, and gets absolutely flooded with classist, misogynistic propaganda.

I highly recommend reading this book by Lundy Bancroft. It's painful, but it also provides a lot of clarity and insight: https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

StarTrippinn · 2023-07-25T01:15:25+00:00

I also have a thought that your husband isn't only leaving you because you aren't allowing him to be the man that he wishes he could be. I dont want to be rude at all and thats not my intention at all so please don't take it as a slight, but im guessing that you dont fit the physical criteria of what a RP males fantasy woman would look like.

He probably sees you as a negative reflection on himself in multiple ways.

I do sincerely hope that you go to therapy in order to work through some of this. I would love for you to be stronger and more confident so that your next relationship can be as strong and healthy as possible.

This is not your fault so dont blame yourself but I also know how hard it is to go from an unhealthy relationship to a healthy one. It can feel foreign to receive good treatment and real love after toxicity and sometimes we convince ourselves that we aren't worthy so we sabotage, or we choose what feels familiar even if its not what's best. I dont know you at all but you seem like you deserve something healthy and someone who will reciprocate the loyalty that you offer.

Locutus-of-Porg · 2023-07-25T12:56:54+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that, OP.

Therapy can help, and it may benefit to describe it as he's joined a cult (because he has). But using that term will help your therapist know better how to help, as this is different from "normal" domestic/psychological abuse and coercive control.

He's no longer the person you married (not even really himself), and recognizing that can help reduce the dissonance created by paradoxically seeing him as both your lover and abuser. That's important because that dissonance can prevent you from taking actions necessary to protect yourself, and can develop into more serious psychological problems over time.

Take notes or recordings to document how he's treated you, and store it in a safe place where he can't find out access it. Your divorce lawyer, future self, and maybe even police will thank you, depending how long he keeps doubling down.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-07-25T15:32:20+00:00

I feel like this is a con job. Red pill men feel entitled to switch things up and con their parents and honestly it’s entitlement. Simply for being born male, they literally feel entitled to the services their wives or girlfriends “should” provide for them. But when he stops carrying his weight, this is literally stealing. He is stealing her time and stealing her labor. Because the chores still have to get done. How is this not turning your wife into your mommy? Men know time and labor are important, they know time and labor is money. Yet, they justify that they are entitled to treat you like a slave and take (steal) that time and labor from you. They are mugging you ladies, they are picking your wallet. Time and effort is worth money on the open market. Sex is worth money on the open market. Men know what they are doing, but they justify they are entitled. Now if a woman is a stay at home mom and he is a true financial provider, that’s a different story based on a mutually agreed upon relationship that the couple entered into. But if the wife works a full 40 and the husband does the same. Well there is so many hours in the day. Why don’t they do the chores together until their done and then sit on the couch together to watch a movie or go to the gym together to workout. Why are red pill men dropping all the housework on women while they have free time to go to the gym while she cooks and cleans and takes care of the children. Why is he laying on the couch while she washes dishes, folds laundry and puts the kids to bed. This is not a reciprocal relationship. He’s stealing from you. He’s an entitled man baby and he’s not carrying his weight. And also, women don’t want to be your mommy. Our p*ssies will dry up like the Sierra desert. First, women hate useless men. And if you act like our sons. Like man babies, well women don’t want to eff their sons. Don’t turn your wife into your mom by not pulling your weight like a grown up man. If he lived by himself, he’d have to do chores (wash dishes, do laundry, etc.). If he lived with a male roommate and friend, he would never pull this shit on another man. He feels “entitled” to your free labor. He’s stealing from you, plain and simple. Further he is gaslighting you to make it seem like his con job is normal and you should accept it. This is dishonest and not normal. They gaslighting is emotional abuse. The exhausting gender war nonsense and the fact that it doesn’t stop is emotional abuse. He is trying to coerce and create a relationship where he extracts every benefit out of you and not reciprocate one bit. Now honestly, what is he truly providing? A toxic state of conflict where he wants you to “submit” (translation, be his slave). And what is he protecting? A broken home he, himself destroyed. He is robbing you, he is picking your wallet. You’ve been mugged, burglarized of your time, labor, emotional peace and quiet and tranquility. He has rendered himself useless.

okusername3 · 2023-07-25T07:34:31+00:00

This "innate" household lead stuff sounds more like the recent rise of Muslim YouTubers through Tate. Their reasoning is that's in Quran, so it's true. But obviously they don't say it, instead they say "it's biological". This sh* has been popping up in my content more and more in the last 6 months.

But does he want that you quit your job? This is such a bizarre situation :-(

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-07-25T13:15:55+00:00

Same, my ex is red pill and I broke up with him last October and it was so heartbreaking, but you wouldn’t believe how he acted. Insane

6stringfella · 2023-07-25T16:19:22+00:00

OP. I am sorry to hear this. The effects of Red Pill is much more devastating than the public thinks and I believe it warrants more attention in the media as well as in acedemia. It is getting as harmful as Qanon and MAGA in my opinion.

Out of curiosity, prior to the emergence of RP, did your husband show any signs of subtle behaviors?

Mehitobel · 2023-07-24T21:28:28+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Suitable_Discount537 · 2023-07-26T20:30:47+00:00

he’ll be begging to come back and when he does, block and ignore him.

Truthteller1995 · 2023-07-25T22:09:44+00:00

Ouch sorry to hear that 😔

absolutebeginners · 2023-07-25T13:18:58+00:00

Damn dude, assuming this is real, he'll come crawling back in a while. Don't fall for it.

jlord42069 · 2023-07-25T00:06:40+00:00

You mean nonsense?

Mean_Mechanic9889 · 2023-07-24T23:09:30+00:00

Did you get to decide everything when you earned more? Sounds like he's been a woman for the best part of 8 years in his own opinion.

beyondabeast · 2023-07-31T01:31:12+00:00

This is a prime example of why men need to control the frame FROM THE BEGINNING. You can’t start a relationship operating within a misguided egalitarian frame and then years later try to put your foot down and set the proper frame because this is the end result.

flatty91 · 2023-07-25T10:37:58+00:00

Ignoring the redpill part of this for now, is there any reason you object to him taking the lead, having more power and control or influence and respect? There’s nothing inherently wrong with these traits on their own and most partnerships/teams often do better with 1 leader. It sounds more like he hasn’t earned your respect as a husband/boyfriend more than anything (his fault).

IMO redpill should make you a better man, more fit, healthy, complain less and achieve more at work and in your family life. If you can objectively say he’s not improving or attempting to improve his own life and subsequently his family around him he’s absolutely using redpill the wrong way whether he knows it or not.

jtwildcat713 · 2023-07-26T20:48:27+00:00

The fact that you know all this info means he's not implementing redpill concepts correctly. Have you ever wondered how he found redpill? Most married men discover redpill from comments in r/deadbedrooms or by googling "why wife won't have sex with me"

Title	Officially lost the love of my life to redpill.
Author	alex-ev
Upvotes	119
Comments	86
Date	July 24, 2023 8:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/158m75l/officially_lost_the_love_of_my_life_to_redpill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/officially-lost-the-love-of-my-life-to-redpill.1226362 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226362

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