I wasn't a sexist before I understood women

- some anon on 4chan (2010)

I'm going to be using the words alpha and beta in this post. Let's be honest here, I know most of you didn't read the sidebar, so here's a refresher on the definitions:

  • Alpha means attractive in the short term. It's the guy who's fun to be around because he does whatever he wants without thinking about the consequences because he's so sure of himself. It's not some divine archetype of a man that everyone should strive to be. It's merely a descriptor of certain set of properties. The 30 y/o tatted-up bartender making minimum wage that's not afraid to approach the cute customer and maybe come off creepy is alpha. The guy who threw a party while his parents were away, caused 10k dollars worth of damages and didn't give a shit is alpha.
  • Beta means attractive in the long term (not necessarily sexually). A provider. Someone who's there when she needs someone to talk about her problems, he takes care of her, supports her financially when needed. The billionaire who spends his hard earned money on his wife because she gets to dictate what to do with it is beta. A father who takes care of his sweet princess of a daughter, paying for her tuition and buying her stuff without expecting anything in return (obviously not sex) is beta.

This story is about me.

When I was a teenager, I wasn't a basement dwelling loser that had nothing to offer to the world. I had stuff going for me - I was funny, I had friends, I was tall.. it's just that my dad was one of those weak "yes dear" type men. And because he never taught me anything about women, I decided to get a little help from the internet.

Armed with newly found knowledge on game, I tossed my nice guy demeanor aside, and finally managed to fake-confidence my way to some pussy. I slept around for a little while before meeting this girl. She was family oriented (I wanted to have children at some point), we had great deep talks about a variety of subjects and we loved spending time together even when we weren't fucking! And let me tell you - we were fucking a lot back then.

I got with her into an LTR. We started living together after a year into our relationship.

At around the three year mark, the sex began to dry up. I didn't expect us to have hot monkey sex 4 times a day like we did in the beginning forever.. but soon there were literal months where we didn't fuck. She still liked to cuddle while we watched Netflix. She still told me I looked hot and handsome. But she just didn't want to fuck me.

On top of this, she started being very complacent about housework. And last of all, her support for my passions and hobbies began to dry up. Things she once found exciting about me became annoying.

What now? That is the question.

Even though this story is about me, there's a 99% chance you will encounter this exact same problem in some shape or form if you decide to pursue a LTR with a girl. So let me save you the headache and list off the 4 different answers (or rather thought patterns) that I encountered along the way.

1. Her Answer

I sat her down and explained my side of the story. I've always heard communication is key in any relationship, and if there's someone who knows what's wrong, it's got to be her.

At first it was the housework - she was too overwhelmed with chores to have the energy to fuck. And she'd like me to burden my fair share. Sure honey, even though you're on the couch on your phone for most of the day with the exception of a few college classes while I work a career, but if it helps you relax, I'll do a bigger share.

After that, it was us not traveling a whole lot. Back when we used to go on more trips, she was more horny from the scenery change. Sure honey, I guess I'll just have to take you on a trip every time I want to fuck? I booked us a trip, it was nice, no fucking happened.

Then it was her being tired from her job. Then it was anxiety from an upcoming essay. And at the end it was "I don't know what it is, let's go to couples counseling." It shouldn't be this hard to have a normal fucking relationship, should it?

📝 Obviously, she didn't have a proper answer. She didn't know what the fuck was going on with her.

2. Society's Answer

I looked up some relationship blogs and asked around on various relationship advice subreddits. The answers I got were interesting. It felt like everyone had some pamphlet they were copying off of. The same buzzwords, the same exact advice.

"How about you talk to her instead of asking strangers on the internet?" - I already did?

"I smell nice guy behavior. Women don't owe you sex for basic decency?" - That's not what this is about?

"Maybe she's overwhelmed from household chores? Try asking yourself what you can do for her instead of just taking" - But I did that already..

"Communication is key. You need to talk more." - There were so many of these fucks just adamant that I wasn't talking to my girlfriend enough. They couldn't fathom the fact that someone could communicate with their partner and still not solve the issue.

When I pressured them a bit, they just shrugged it off with: Oh well, sometimes things just go wrong in a relationship and we can't control it.

📝 Society defaulted to the femcentric thought pattern of "it's the man's fault" and "communication is key". They ran out of pre-learned advice one-liners when I informed them I had been in fact communicating with my woman and solving the issue. The women in the discussion thread got very defensive and mad.

3. Manosphere Answer

I turned to the manosphere for answers. The bloggers, YouTubers and podcasters that helped me get the woman also had some content on how to keep the woman. The advice was clear - hit the gym, start dressing better, start going out and make her feel like you have more options. Make her anxious with competitive anxiety. Don't spoil her too much, you have to be an alpha-beta. An alpha that also provides.

I didn't think I was a pushover around her. I definitely wasn't my dad, the beta-est beta I knew, in fact I thought I was still a pretty exciting man to be around. I was already going to the gym regularly, but I amped it up with signing up to a Muay Thai club. I told my girlfriend I'm going to upgrade my wardrobe and she helped me pick out a myriad of new clothes. I occasionally went out after work instead of heading straight home. I posted pictures with other girls on my story. I even began to joke around with sleeping with other specific women. A bit on the nose.

Nothing changed. Her pussy remained dry and I was becoming desperate. I love this girl, I want to be with her, but I don't know for how much longer I can keep suppressing my own needs. But obviously there has to be a valid reason why she's not putting out. And we're going to find it together!

📝 Big manosphere influencers are closer to the truth than the skinnyfat bugpeople on Reddit are, but they have courses/merch/sponsored products to sell. They stop right south off the real life altering truths. The kind of stuff that would alienate their own audience against them, and that would be bad for business. But on this forum we can speak freely, so let's continue:

4. The Red Pill Answer

One morning, we were getting out of bed and she turned to me, asking: "What are your thoughts on open relationships?"

I froze. My surprise slowly morphed into anger. It wasn't a direct suggestion but she was for sure testing the waters. I'm out here, jumping through hoops, busting my ass to save this relationship. Trying my best to pull out what is it she wants out of her and try to get this shit sorted out just so she can fuck some rando who doesn't deserve to fuck her? Why wouldn't he need to work his ass off?

I angrily shut the suggestion down, but the damage had been done. It killed something in me. The image of my girlfriend as the pure and perfect Madonna was gone. No matter how much I try, she's still going to just be.. a fucking slut? And that's even after she passed through my screening for LTRs as a viable long term partner. I decided, that if she can make this shameless pursuit of her sexual nature, why should I keep suffocating mine?

That day, I cut my hair. I knew she would hate it, but I did it the way I wanted it. I bought some more clothes, this time the pieces I liked and she shot down when we were shopping together. Not to spite her, but because I wanted to explore who my subconscious wanted me to look like. I began a habit of flirting with the attractive women around me in my daily life, and I got more touchy with them to practice kino. I texted two girls that I've fallen out with after getting into a relationship and met up with them. I fucked one of them. This just fueled my confidence in the fact that I'd be alright if I lost my girlfriend. In fact, I stopped feeling like I needed her day by day.

And one day I came home to a perfect household. Everything was clean, dinner was served, she was super attentive. We fucked that evening. She didn't know about me cheating on her with another girl so this must've been as a result of some sort of behavior change of mine that came as a result of me behaving like a fuckboy for myself. The behavior that I wasn't able to fake when I tried to do it to save our relationship. Wow, women really are good at picking this behavioral stuff up.

The missing piece was that there had to be an actual risk of me leaving her to go fuck (and potentially date) other girls. I now saw that merely trying to emulate it wasn't enough. I needed to keep my options open and not push down on the deeply rooted feeling of wanting to fuck loads of women.

It's been years since this incident. I've morphed her back into the perfect traditional wife (without actually marrying her), or rather as perfect as she can be. I'm keeping her around because she's genuinely a good long-term partner, but if one day she comes to me and says she cheated, I'm ready for that. I've got my own life, I've got a backup plan. I no longer have any of the beta ooey-gooey love to offer her. Only occasional hints that she might have it back in full swing at some point.

When I was a teenager starting out, I despised the asshole jocks. I thought their way of treating women was childish and immature and that they only did it to fuel their hurt ego. I promised myself that I wouldn't act like a complete asshole if I ever got a girlfriend. Now I'm basically doing the exact same thing they were doing. But not because of some inner insecurity or sadistic pleasure, like I thought people had to have in order to behave this way. It's because I know she's going to fuck me over if I don't treat her like that. Equality in a relationship is bullshit. Women turned me into this.

Lessons

This all happened while I was red-pill aware. I really didn't have to go through the pain and stress myself if only I had listened and believed. But I wanted to believe that "there was some truth to it" but all this extreme stuff is just overexaggerated macho talk.

If you don't want to go through this on your own: Get some water, open wide and get to swallowing these pills:

  • 💊 The one thing men value most in women - loyalty - doesn't exist in women. Women only follow their emotions. It doesn't matter what you sacrificed, it doesn't matter how long of a history you have together, all she truly respects are her emotions in that very moment. She'll fuck someone else on that work trip if he makes her feel the right way, and worst of all, she'll then rationalize you as the abuser (even though you were nothing short of the perfect boyfriend). The upside to this is that you can utilize the same strategy for your own gain. Don't fall for the fantasy that there is the One for you that's worth sacrificing your life to. Men get complacent in relationships because they think the woman will be loyal to their sacrifice to the relationship. That's why they even allow themselves to become beta.
  • 💊 Women's and men's sexual strategies are mutually exclusive. To fulfill their own natural method of reproduction, the opposite sex must abandon their own. I abandoned mine when I got into an LTR, thus placing a lid on my need to fuck tons of other hot girls, because I mistakenly thought this would yield me sex, support and cuddles until the end of times with this one girl. This was a covert contract - an exchange that was never verbalized out loud, but I expected it nevertheless. But she didn't see it like this. Again, women can't appreciate the sacrifices men make for them. She sees the world through her immediate, current emotions. And her emotions told her that she's no longer attracted to what I've become over the years, much like she wouldn't be attracted to a beta if she was single. The fact that you're in a relationship doesn't change anything in her lizard brain, relationships are just human constructs.
  • 💊 The amount of "beta" you need for a functional relationship is vastly overestimated by men. Yes, you need a combination of both alpha and beta traits on order to have a functional relationship. But you don't see couples going to therapy because the man is too alpha. In fact, women enjoy trying to turn the alpha into a beta. You should only provide enough beta traits that will make her believe she can actually succeed at domesticating you with her women's charm. To make yourself seem vulnerable enough, so she always feels that she might have a chance at beating the game. If you're too perfect, she won't play. It's the same brain circuitry that makes men enjoy a challenging video game or a sports challenge. It's just women like playing in their domain of subversiveness, words and feelings, instead of the technical and physical.
  • 💊 Women enjoy trying to turn the alpha into a beta. The dangerous beast and the beauty that manages to domesticate him is the ultimate female fantasy. It's also evolutionary the best strategy for survival. This is not a relationships thing, women keep stabbing at your frame using shit tests from the moment you meet. At first you might be able to deflect them and hold your own. This excites her and helps you to get her to bed or into an LTR. However years of living under the same roof with her, with a million small attempts at breaking your frame might just weaken it enough. You might feel like marriage or an LTR is winning the game, that there's no harm in slipping up a little bit. And suddenly, you're turning into a beta. And you don't even remember what it's like to approach other women since it's been so long ago. You're even becoming scared of it. And that's when she slowly gets frustrated and starts suggesting couples therapy. Because she knows what to do with an alpha (try to turn him into a beta), but she has no idea what to do with the beta she accidentally created. They just want to play the game, they don't want to win.