Im against marriage, i think FWB is the best approach, but here are the reasons for a marriage

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-08-26T13:47:52+00:00

yeh thats nice, i want my husband to be able to inherit our estate without like 12% inheritance taxes. good luck with your FWBs

ace52387 · 2023-08-26T13:56:27+00:00

Are you talking about weddings or a marriage? Theres no point in the marriage without the law. That IS the point. Dont get married otherwise.

The law part of the marriage allows you truly be a partnership, where you can divy up responsibilities without 1 partner feeling threatened by their choices. One person can make earnings sacrifices for the benefit of the partnership without feeling the looming pressure of being left high and dry upon getting dumped.

Lets say a married couple has 2 kids. 1 partner decides to quit their job for 2-3 years to take care of the kids. This saves a boatload on daycare and is clearly the best financial decision for the partnership. Without a marriage the one quitting their job would feel threatened that they gave up a big chunk of their future. They may instead elect to put both kids in daycare, both people work, and everyone is worse off financially.

Freethinker312 · 2023-08-26T14:36:13+00:00

In case a couple stays together for their entire lives, how would legal marriage (I'm not talking about a lavish wedding) be a disadvantage for (one of) them? Why would never getting married be better for (one of) them than getting married, in case they really stay together as long as they both live?

It seems the reason people don't want to get married, is that they either don't really trust their partner, or are not trustworthy themselves. If that is the real reason someone doesn't want to get married, why have children together? You risk children growing up with parents that don't love each other and don't stay together. And why be intimate with someone you don't trust or someone you don't love? If you are not trustworthy or don't trust the other enough to get married, then you are not ready to have children together or have sex together.

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2023-08-26T13:45:02+00:00

If you wouldn't trust your own wife with the threat of government force looming over you, then I'm sorry but that's very unromantic and a deal breaker for many.

psm-142017 · 2023-08-26T14:13:45+00:00

FWB is fun until one person wants to be more than Friends then entire thing gets complicated.

For me marriage is necessary for good upbringing of kids

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-26T13:58:29+00:00

That's a lot of words to say "I'm afraid of being divorce raped and I don't love my partner enough to marry her and make sure she has protections in the event of my death."

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-08-26T14:31:39+00:00

Yet another day of men being scared shitless of losing money that they (probably) don't have, to a woman who they (probably) can't attract. This makes them cool in a counter-cultural type of way.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-08-26T14:01:12+00:00

The main reason for marriage is kids and having a safe and loving environment (ideally) to support and nourish them as they grow up.

If couples decide to be child free, maybe co-habitation without marriage is an equal option as marriage.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-08-26T14:09:54+00:00

If I were to one day have kids, It would be more about protecting them in case of a tragic event and I wouldn’t want to have them with someone I’m not married to for that reason. When you have kids everything becomes about protecting them over yourselves. A FWB in this situation would be a terrible idea.

Digedag · 2023-08-26T14:33:16+00:00

i think FWB is the best approach

Everyone likes FWB, until they can't get any FWB.

Antisocialite99 · 2023-08-26T15:57:57+00:00

You wanna raise kids with a FWB?

Safinated · 2023-08-26T17:21:29+00:00

Marriage is for children, property, law and community. Weddings help create community, as do laws and status

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Nellylocheadbean · 2023-08-26T15:15:45+00:00

I think marriage is only important if you want children. Having a marriage creates structure for the children and as long as the 2 adults in the marriage can comprise and work together, that helps the children as they grow to become productive members of society.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-26T15:19:37+00:00

I’m a woman and I think marriage is a scam for women too. It doesn’t mean he’s committed to you and the children and he can up and abandon you all in a matter of hours. Women would be better off getting advanced degrees. Having no more than 2 or 3 children spaced enough apart that it’s not such a burden in terms of time and energy and being ultimately prepared when it doesn’t work out. I’m for forgoing the institution of marriage altogether.

SianOiseau · 2023-08-26T16:15:36+00:00

It's on a couple to decide. For a lot of people a forever FWB wouldn't really fulfil their plans or desires, so they go for an LTR and marriage later on the road. Yes, you involve the state into your marriage - the same way you involve the state when you get education, work, buy a house etc. It's generally beneficial to be seen as one family unit and you never know when you will need it. Partners often share their insurance, there are tax and different job benefits for spouses, it's easier to get mortgage when you're married, you want to be seen as a legal family in case of medical emergency etc.

On a personal level I wouldn't be comfortable planning my life and planning (let alone having) kids with a man who was afraid of marriage. If I can take the risks of pregnancy, he can take the risks of marriage, which are pretty minimal considering I make my own money and currently I make more than my husband. We went the opposite side with the wedding too - no wedding, but legal marriage and a nice honeymoon trip. It works for us.

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2023-08-26T16:35:23+00:00

As a person of faith, I do think marriage is more meaningful in the context of your religion. For someone who believes in God and his commands, making a vow before him is serious. Also, your relationship with God is the foundation of your marriage and the goal is to honor God through it. So in a sense there is a deeper purpose and mission to marriage.

But I would argue that marriage does make some sense for two people who want to commit to each other and build a family. I believe it is a healthier environment for children to believe their mother and father are in a committed relationship. This stabilizes the household for them and ties the parents together for the wellbeing of their children. By tying your assets together you are further committing yourself to making the relationship work and therefore more incentive to keep a child in a healthy home.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-08-26T16:40:22+00:00

I don't get what we're supposed to be changing your mind on. Marriage, legally speaking, offers protections for both partners in the unfortunate event of one of their deaths, you get tax deductions, you get to visit your partner in the hospital and make decisions for them if need be, and you guys get health insurance benefits. Now, you might not care about those things and that's fine but there are some benefits of marriage. But if they aren't important to you I can't really use those to change your mind on marriage, nor do I think there's a point in convincing someone that they should get married. It's your life, do whatever you want, the rest of the world doesn't care whether you get married or not.

I do agree with you on the lavish ceremonies, it doesn't seem like a great financial decision to spend an absurd amount of money on one day. If someone has the money to spend and it wouldn't make a dent in their savings, cool but most people don't just have 20-50K to throw around. But being against lavish weddings isn't the same as being against marriage, so are you just complaining about big weddings, marriage or both?

Title	Im against marriage, i think FWB is the best approach, but here are the reasons for a marriage
Author	KeyAcan
Upvotes	1
Comments	58
Date	August 26, 2023 1:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/161vdl5/im_against_marriage_i_think_fwb_is_the_best/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/im-against-marriage-i-think-fwb-is-the-best.1229855 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229855

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