Young women can be very abusive&manipulative in a relationship regardless of their partner's age

mrs_seng · 2023-12-23T10:24:32+00:00

"young women" and OP talks about a 15 year old. Dude, that's a kid.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-23T11:28:20+00:00

Correction: any kind of person can be abusive or manipulative in a relationship, including young women. But most people aren't and it doesn't change the pattern of risk that faces young people in age gap relationships. (In your examples you haven't said anything about how manipulative or abusive these men may be, and indeed you don't really know, although considering how one is an adult dating a significantly younger child you can't really say he's innocent. They also don't seem to be in relationships?)

neinhaltchad · 2023-12-23T11:33:45+00:00

I have 2 interesting and odd sexual experiences from when I was a minor.

First one, I was 11. I lived in what I’d say was a kind of “white trash” town.

The 11 year old girl that was my first kiss and the first girl I “dated” (back then we called it “going together”)

That girl obviously had some fucked up history because about a week into “going together” she had me over her house and had set it up so we’d fuck (her older sister helped her plan this when her parents were out).

That’s right. An 11 year old girl was trying to get me (an 11 year old boy) to have sex.

I don’t think I had even started masturbating yet.

I basically freaked out and she broke up with me on the spot l

Anyway, so yeah as I got older I became more and more disturbed by that incident and all the implications of it.

Fast forward - I was 16 and i had a coworker who was 24 at a record store I worked at.

We were both very much into the same shit, shared the same humor, liked the same music, went to shows together, took road trips, etc.

I already had a drivers license and had already been drinking and partying for a year at that point (I know) and in many ways I was the bad influence on her. I was kind of a delinquent nerd I’d say.

We were really close and helped each other through some rough shit.

One night we ended up hooking up.

I wanted it. I was nervous, it was awkward, but she was utterly patient, understanding, etc and I felt zero pressure about the whole thing.

While it wasn’t “successful” it was my first willing sexual experience and it was a positive experience for me.

I look back on the 11 year old girl thing and shudder. I look back at the 16/24 thing with fondness.

Here’s my take: It was a positive experience and actually went a long way to bringing me out of a state of sexual anxiety and fear because she was so cool about it.

No Karen or Bedroom Police concern troll will ever make reframe this experience from how I experienced it and suddenly claim it was some kind of “trauma that I haven’t processed” or that “I was actually abused”

They can fuck off with that. Other people don’t get to define my experience.

Life isn’t that simple and we all know this deep down, even if some of us love to screech hysterically online.

Now, in no way am I saying that we should just say it’s A-OK for adults to fuck minors.

I’m simply saying that in my particular case it was a positive experience.

I will also say that I know many guys who had similar (consensual) sexual experiences in their younger years with older women and have no “trauma” about it.

What’s funny is that I experienced far more “trauma” around much of my teenage peer’s sexual behaviors.

I won’t get into it, but I’ll just say if you ever saw the movie “Kids”, it was a lot like that kind of shit.

Lots of pressure to do things. Lots of feeling humiliated. Just lots of shit that made me feel utterly anxious about sexual situations are related to what the people my age were doing.

But to this day, I’m sure I’ll have people tell me that I certainly should be having convulsing crying fits in a scolding hot rape shower because “that one incident where that horrible older woman abused you!”

LaserFace778 · 2023-12-23T10:17:19+00:00

A 15 year old girl is a child. He is raping that girl.

Wattehfok · 2023-12-23T10:38:15+00:00

15?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Icequeen343 · 2023-12-23T10:18:03+00:00

If you’re the older one and getting manipulated you must be really fucking dumb lol

AriesProductions · 2023-12-23T10:39:37+00:00

Your examples are not common and are barely plausible. And talking about a 15YO who “has some experience” and a 19yo who’s oh so innocent? That’s an adult having sex with a child and you’re acting like she’s the manipulator?? If she can’t even get a freaking driving license, he shouldn’t be having sex with her.

And I was the 17yo w/ the 28yo engineer “nice guy”. I didn’t have “fuckboys”, I was GROOMED.

When your examples happen even one one-hundredth as often as older men manipulating young girls, then I’ll take you seriously.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-12-23T10:19:43+00:00

Dude, your talking about literal kids here

Gitsumrestmf · 2023-12-23T10:42:39+00:00

And don't you think something like this is a guy's fault?

He's allowing himself to be manipulated and used.
He's the older one.

No one's holding you hostage in such relationships. And if you are so desperate that you accept being used and manipulated, you have only yourself to blame.

Tight-Breeder · 2023-12-23T10:54:53+00:00

Yeah this is why i never take these window-lickers that cry about "age gaps" seriously.

Bunch of clowns

Women always have power over regular men. ESPECIALLY when they are young. ESPECIALLY when living inna first world country with access to the internet.

The only men that switch it around are players. Money doesnt help. Age doesnt help. Only being a player will give a man more power than a woman.

ClassroomSlight3215 · 2023-12-23T11:37:03+00:00

That’s statutory rape

BrendasThrowaway · 2023-12-23T11:35:10+00:00

How are you comparing a minor to an adult male? You’re gross. A 15 year old girl is not a woman. That’s a kid that has no experience and knows no better. You Pedophile

lacuti3 · 2023-12-23T10:28:49+00:00

It’s extremely rare for men to take advantage of women

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Title	Young women can be very abusive&manipulative in a relationship regardless of their partner's age
Author	AreOut
Upvotes	8
Comments	119
Date	December 23, 2023 10:06 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18p2mqb/young_women_can_be_very_abusivemanipulative_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/young-women-can-be-very-abusivemanipulative-in-a.1241427 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241427

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