Women like me now | ExRedPill

ProfessorRocks · 2024-02-27T10:35:21+00:00

Title says it all. That's one of the best things about vomiting up the red pill. A lot of women are really attracted to feminist men. Mutual respect is...

[–]ProfessorRocks[S] 46 points47 points48 points 2 years ago (107 children) | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur 86 points87 points88 points 2 years ago (103 children) | Copy Link

Once you realise it, it seems pretty obvious that women like men who can be empathetic towards their struggles, and who can recognise and stand up to misogyny, and even see how the root cause of those struggles are also causing problems for men. Like it seems so obvious you'll wonder how anyone could think that being anti-feminist would make men attractive to women.

And honestly, I would say that the red pill is anti-feminist. It pushes the very same patriarchal ideas and norms that feminism is trying to dismantle; ie that men should be tough and strong and dominant and controlling, that softness and vulnerability in men is a sign of weakness, and that women should take their position as being the submissive accompaniment to said men, and nothing more. There are plenty of red pill voices who actively blame feminism for the problems men are facing, and regularly claim that feminism doesn't care about men's problems, despite the fact that feminism is actively trying to dismantle the very systems that cause those problems.

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 -50 points-49 points-48 points 2 years ago (102 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 44 points45 points46 points 2 years ago (41 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 -40 points-39 points-38 points 2 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 27 points28 points29 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]ParkiiHealerOfWorlds 23 points24 points25 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 15 points16 points17 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

for a relationship with a dominant man, that openness and vulnerability is what makes the relationship possible and safe

I think this is very well put.

RP men like to talk about how "so many women have rape fantasies and want to act out rape with their male partners". There is truth to this, however these men think that the existence of these fantasies means that women WANT to be raped and that men SHOULD rape them. What they don't understand is that acting out a situation that WOULD be dangerous if it was real, but doing it in a safe environment with someone you trust to not ACTUALLY hurt you, is verrrry different than actually wanting that to happen.

Men can play Call of Duty all day and women understand that doesn't ACTUALLY mean they want to be deployed in a combat zone. It's acting out a dangerous fantasy. (Sorry this ramble is a little off topic but it's been on my mind a lot.)

A relationship CANNOT be healthy and work out if there isn't mutual respect, understanding, and appreciation. People, no matter the gender, need to be emotionally open with their partners for the relationship to work.

[–]forget_what_u_know 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NotoriousNina 28 points29 points30 points 2 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 -25 points-24 points-23 points 2 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]NotoriousNina 13 points14 points15 points 2 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]floracalendula 14 points15 points16 points 2 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]floracalendula8 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]floracalendula8 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]floracalendula6 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NotoriousNina2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Trepptopus2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NotoriousNina1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]alieshaxmarie1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]InvestigatorIll6236 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]oipRAaHoZAiEETsUZ 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]alieshaxmarie 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[+]alieshaxmarie 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]forget_what_u_know 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur 25 points26 points27 points 2 years ago (58 children) | Copy Link

[–]mikey_weasel 11 points12 points13 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 -6 points-5 points-4 points 2 years ago (55 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice89 19 points20 points21 points 2 years ago (52 children) | Copy Link

[–]dongtouch 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice89 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (49 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice89 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 -5 points-4 points-3 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (43 children) | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_8638 -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (42 children) | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link

in terms of relationship dynamics I see very little deviation from the norm

Then you're clearly not meeting or speaking to many women. I can't put it any other way. Here I am, a living, breathing example that contradicts everything you're saying. Here I am, one of many, many men out there who don't fit this red pill cliche "chad" and yet we're not single, not struggling to meet women, not resorting to some bullshit red pill philosophies.

most women don’t want a healthy functional relationship with a man who’s in the bottom 90% of men

If that was the case, then 90% of men would be single, or at least would be in very bad relationships. But they're not.

Instead, most men and women just reject this whole idea of "bottom 90%" or whatever and reject this idea of some kind of ranking. There is no ranking. Everyone is different and likes different things. The top 10% for one woman is the bottom 10% for another woman. Andrew Tate can fill his shitty cars with as many women as he wants, but I could fill a bus with women who think he's fucking disgusting. There is no "bottom 90%", just different people.

They want you to open up and be vulnerable, they might even get upset or beg or act like they really want it, but once you give it to them then the game is over.

Every relationship I have had succeeded specifically because I was able to open up and demonstrate emotional intelligence. These women liked me specifically because I am a gentle, calm, soft person. They like the songs I write, they like the way I'm kind to people, they like the way I don't resort to anger or violence, they like that I pay attention to their emotions and my own, and they like that I am self aware. None of these relationships from my past ever failed, it was never "game over" because I opened up and showed vulnerability. Every time I did so, our bonds grew stronger. And it makes perfect sense, because you cannot build a strong, healthy, meaningful, trustful relationship without seeing each other in the full. Nobody can love you if they can't know you, and they can't know you if you hide away all your vulnerabilities and spend all your time with your guard up.

So, no, I'm afraid you just don't know what you're talking about. Sure, there may be some women out there who act like that, but you can just not date them and date women who actually treat you like a human being instead.

[–]Live_Piglet_8638-4 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’ve been with more than enough women so idk what to tell you on that one. I also never said women only date chad so again idk how to reply. I should clarify 2 things when I say women don’t want to be in a healthy functional relationship with man in the bottom 90%. One, the bottom 90% is not objective, it’s for each women to subjectively decide and that ends up making the bottom 90%, secondly just because their goal is not to have a healthy functional relationship doesn’t mean they won’t date or enter relationship because they obviously do, you go into relationships with that goal in mind so you assume women do too, I can’t blame you because I made the same mistake when I first started dating, believe me I could write a book on all the shit tests I failed because of this.

We are indeed approaching a time where 90% of men are single but we aren’t there yet and a few more things will have to happen but rest assured that our overlords will achieve this goal, but I won’t get into that.

You’re kind of just repeating a bunch of feel good crap (and I’m sorry I’m not trying to be disrespectful but I don’t have another word). It’s like a cliche parody of what an overcorrection to the Redpill or blackpill would look like, that whatever women say you just accept as the truth. I think you see what you want to see, you talk about being so attentive and “emotionally intelligent” which is a nebulous concept in and of itself but again I won’t get into that. Yet you can’t even see through women’s bullshit at all. You open up to a girlfriend about whatever because that’s what you’re told to do and she says thank you and give you a peck on the cheek or whatever, you feel better, you assume she’s feeling the same way and then you move on, not picking up on what’s happening beneath the surface and then when she acts up you don’t make the connection.

The reason women complain that men don’t view women as equal human beings is that women don’t view use as human, they view us as utilities, they only think in terms of what we can give to them, the feelings we can make them feel, the protection we can give them, the resources we can give them, taking care of them when we are sick, cheering them up when they are down etc. They don’t care about you as a human. That doesn’t means that you can’t have good experiences or good relationship with women but be real about it.

[–]AutoModerator2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Akiragirl902 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Akiragirl902 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’ve been with more than enough women

My dude, that's on you for choosing to date women like that. Choose better.

the bottom 90% is not objective

Right, of course. Hence, there is no bottom 90% of men, just the different men who are attractive to the different women. For some women that "bottom 90%" will be the men who don't open up emotionally and who carry on acting tough and strong and can't express their emotions properly. That's the bottom 90% for a hell of a lot of women.

just because their goal is not to have a healthy functional relationship doesn’t mean they won’t date or enter relationship because they obviously do, you go into relationships with that goal in mind so you assume women do too

I do not go into relationships with a goal in mind. Is that something you do? What exactly is that goal? And why on earth do you think women don't want a healthy, functional relationship? Where are you even getting this from?

I can’t blame you because I made the same mistake when I first started dating

I'm 35 years old and I had my first girlfriend when I was 15. There have been 9 long-ish term relationships in that time, ranging between 9 months and 5 years, and plenty of more casual connections in between. I've also got many female friends who talk to me about their relationships with other guys, about the problems they have. Not a single one of my relationships, nor the relationships of my friends, went wrong because of a guy opening up and showing vulnerability. I'm a long way past "when I first started dating." I'm not making these comments because I'm young and naive. I'm making these comments because I know exactly what I'm talking about. You don't need to feel sorry for me.

you open up to a girlfriend about whatever because that’s what you’re told to do and she says thank you and give you a peck on the cheek or whatever, you feel better, you assume she’s feeling the same way and then you move on, not picking up on what’s happening beneath the surface and then when she acts up you don’t make the connection.

No, my relationships all lasted as long as they did because I opened up. And it wasn't rewarded with "a peck on the cheek", it was returned with trust. I was able to talk about how I was feeling, she was able to talk about how she was feeling, we grew stronger and more trusting of each other. And then at no point have any of my exes "acted up". At best I could say there was maybe one who was manipulative and exploited me, but even then I don't see how that had anything to do with how I was emotionally open. I spotted it pretty early on and I left. I'm not an idiot.

The reason women complain that men don’t view women as equal human beings is that women don’t view use as human, they view us as utilities, they only think in terms of what we can give to them, the feelings we can make them feel, the protection we can give them, the resources we can give them, taking care of them when we are sick, cheering them up when they are down etc. They don’t care about you as a human. That doesn’t means that you can’t have good experiences or good relationship with women but be real about it.

Holy shit. My dude. Stop dating these awful women and find yourself someone who actually cares about you. Stop blaming all women for your own tragic dating experiences. Stop assuming that all women think like this, because they absolutely don't. Yes, of course women want to be in a relationship with a man who brings some benefit in her life. Of course she wants a guy who can take care of her when she's sick and who makes her feel good. That's normal. Men also want the same, and expect the same, and the majority of the time they get the same. All of my exes have provided the above to me in a variety of ways. Many of my exes and my current girlfriend, have taken care of me when I've been struggling, even provided for me financially when I needed it, and have made the effort to make me feel good. Every relationship I've been in (bar maybe one) were beneficial to me. Every woman I have been with saw me as human, and treated me as such. And they were able to do that because I opened up about my emotions and expressed myself fully. A woman cannot care for you and treat you as a human if you refuse to be human around her and actually show your full range of emotions. That's entirely on you.

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well if women wanted to be in a healthy functional relationship then they would do that but they don’t. They would pick better men but they don’t, they would communicate directly and openly but they don’t. They wouldn’t shit test but they do.!Actions speak louder than words and almost all of women’s actions show that they would rather play the game.

Women don’t want men to be vulnerable because they are vulnerable and emotional because. Women have always entered relationships with the expectation that men will take of them (fair enough) so when you get emotional you are taking them out of that space and making her take care of you, you are not living up the expectation. That’s just how it goes, for better or worse, there’s no point in getting upset about it on my end but I also don’t think it’s good to deny it and clinging to comforting lies.

[–]spiraldinosaur2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well if women wanted to be in a healthy functional relationship then they would do that but they don’t. They would pick better men but they don’t, they would communicate directly and openly but they don’t.

But they do? Are you trying to say that all women are only getting into unhealthy relationships? What are you actually basing any of this on? How many women do you actually know in real life? Are they all in unhealthy relationships?

You've said yourself that you have "been with more than enough women", so does that then mean that you are also responsible for these unhealthy relationships? After all, if women wanted healthy relationships, they'd pick better men, right?

Women have always entered relationships with the expectation that men will take of them

But men also go into relationships expecting their partner to take care of them at times too. And I'd say the majority of people go into relationships seeking a balance of support for and from their partner.

when you get emotional you are taking them out of that space and making her take care of you, you are not living up the expectation.

But again, in all of my years of relationships, being emotional and vulnerable has never resulted in any problems, and has only meant the relationship was stronger. So, what am I doing wrong? How am I clinging to lies when it perfectly aligns with what I've experienced, and what many other men experience too? I'm not going to say that it's the case in all relationships with all women, of course, but I've seen it many, many times already and experienced it first hand.

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well when I say I’ve been with a lot of women a lot of that is just casual sex but also a good amount in relationships.

I’ve had more women in my life than men, very common experience for men these days unfortunately so I just paid attention to how they behave. I’ll sum up how most relationships work with a quote

Women don’t want men who buy them flowers, they want men who don’t buy them them, so they can turn them into men who buy them flowers, so they can leave them for men who don’t buy them flowers.

You can replace buying her flowers with opening up or whatever else but from what I’ve seen, that is the how the overwhelming majority of young attractive women operate, that’s how the game is played. She might cry, she might get angry, she might beg, she might plead, she might stomp her feet and throw a hissy fit but if you give her what she says she wants, then game is over. You no longer serve any purpose to her because you gave her what she wanted, therefore the game is over. The validation of turning a stoic dominant masculine man into the opposite is worth more to them than a relationship with a guy who’s like that.

It’s kind of like how women will complain about something and then when you come back with “okay let’s take the time and put in the energy to actually talk about this openly and honest” they don’t want to have that conversation because 9/10 times they don’t actually give a f*ck about what they are complaining about, they just want you to get mad and fight back so they can validate themselves. It’s like fighting with a pig, they will drag you down into the mud enjoy it far more than you. Yet so many men make the mistaken of arguing with women.

One of my best friends is actually a therapist, we’ve been friends for almost two decades, he’s a really great guy but for everything we agree on and for as much respect as I have for him, we don’t talk about women to each other. The reason being because when we have a conversation like this, this is literally always the point of disagreement. He believes as most men do, that women are perfect angels who never do anything wrong and the reason relationships don’t work out is because men are too masculine and don’t behave enough like women. I disagree with that, I believe the biggest reason relationships don’t work out is men taking women at their word, not realizing the game that is being played and thus failing.

[–]spiraldinosaur2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You've contradicted yourself there.

if you give her what she says she wants, then game is over.

Earlier you said:

don’t view use as human, they view us as utilities, they only think in terms of what we can give to them, the feelings we can make them feel, the protection we can give them, the resources we can give them, taking care of them when we are sick, cheering them up when they are down

So do women want a guy who gives her what she wants? Or does she not?

The validation of turning a stoic dominant masculine man into the opposite is worth more to them than a relationship with a guy who’s like that.

I never present myself as a "stoic, dominant, masculine man". No woman has "turned me into the opposite" because I was already who I am. And yet I do fine in dating and relationships. So what's going on there? Could it be that some women don't actually want a "stoic, dominant, masculine man"?

women will complain about something and then when you come back with “okay let’s take the time and put in the energy to actually talk about this openly and honest” they don’t want to have that conversation

Never had that happen to me at all. Instead I have these conversations and we resolve the issues (including issues that I have brought up rather than her) and we've been better off for it.

Yet so many men make the mistaken of arguing with women.

You're right, because arguing usually isn't an honest attempt to resolve an issue, it's just an attempt to defend your position even if you're in the wrong. Instead, both should listen to each other and honestly express what they're feeling. ie they should open up, allow themselves to be vulnerable and work to find resolutions. That's what I do in my relationships, and it's pretty much always worked.

He believes as most men do, that women are perfect angels who never do anything wrong and the reason relationships don’t work out is because men are too masculine and don’t behave enough like women.

I don't know your friend, but I doubt that's what he - or most men including myself - believe. I don't believe women are "perfect angels", I believe they are human, and we all have our flaws. But I do also believe that many relationships fail because so many men refuse to allow themselves to open up their emotions and show any vulnerability. And I don't think that doing that is "behaving like women", I believe it's imply allowing yourself to be a full human who expresses a full range of emotions. And I think seeing that as "behaving like women" is just a very toxic way to think.

Look, I'm not saying that women never behave the way you are saying. I don't doubt that there are women out there who manipulate men, that there are women who uphold those same patriarchal ideas that men should be "stoic, dominant, masculine". But you talk about it like it's all women and it just isn't. It sounds to me like you only ever try to date a very specific subculture of women who behave in this particular way, and honestly if you do then that's your own choice to make.

But I can also tell you that many women - particularly those who subscribe to intersectional feminist ideas - are looking for men who have emotional intelligence and who are capable of expressing their full range of emotions, who can open up about what they are dealing with. They are looking for men who bring value into their lives of course - men who will look after them and make them feel good - but they area also looking for men who they can do the same for.

But when you say "women do this, women do that" you just make it sound like all women are exactly the same and they're just not. I wouldn't even say it's the majority of women. I don't know any women like that. I personally have never dated, nor even befriended, any women like that. I think your perspective is extremely narrow.

But also, if your friend - who is a therapist - and me, and apparently "most men" as you put it, believe differently, and we have good, healthy, stable relationships, what makes you think we're getting it all wrong? What am I doing wrong so that my vulnerability and even feminine traits have played such a role in women falling in love with me?

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Women can want something and still lose attraction and think less of the man who gives it to her that’s not a contradiction. But regardless of all of that, the point is that qI trust my own judgement and discernment above what anybody else tells me. It hasn’t steered me wrong. I understand it’s difficult to take off the rose coloured glasses and separate yourself from societal ideas of love and partnership and look at women for how they actually are, I really do get it. The only thing I can say is obviously the women I’ve dated are young and attractive maybe older or less attractive women are completely different. Other than that, I think you’re just going with comforting lies that sound good and you’re probably in for a rude awakening at some point unfortunately. I’m sorry but I just cannot believe based on everything I’ve seen that women are leaving men because men aren’t emotional enough. That’s almost laughable if I’m being honest.

[–]spiraldinosaur2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It hasn’t steered me wrong.

I'd say your very negative perspective and total lack of trust of women says otherwise.

I understand it’s difficult to take off the rose coloured glasses and separate yourself from societal ideas of love and partnership and look at women for how they actually are, I really do get it.

I'm not wearing any rose coloured glasses, I'm telling you my literal, true to life experiences. You however seem to be wearing blinkers; you only seem to have met some women who behave in a very specific way, and you've decided that's how all women behave.

the women I’ve dated are young and attractive maybe older or less attractive women are completely different.

Are you trying to say I only date old, unattractive women? "Attractive" is entirely subjective, and to be honest I probably wouldn't find the women you've dated as attractive anyway because it sounds to me like they're pretty awful people.

I think you’re just going with comforting lies that sound good and you’re probably in for a rude awakening at some point unfortunately.

Again; my dating history goes back 20 years. My current relationship has been strong and stable for over 5 years. How much longer should I have to wait for this rude awakening?

I’m sorry but I just cannot believe based on everything I’ve seen that women are leaving men because men aren’t emotional enough. That’s almost laughable if I’m being honest.

Women leave men for lots of reasons, I wouldn't say that's why all women have ended relationships, but I'm sure it happens. But of course you wouldn't believe it "based on everything you've seen" because apparently you've only ever met awful, manipulative women who don't see men as humans. I'm sorry about that.

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So you don't want relationships with women who treat men like they're not human, but you also don't want relationships like I have, with women who respect me as a human and who care for me the way I care for them? What do you want?

I don’t know you or her so it’s tough to say but I’d probably say she has 2 maybe 3 years left.

So you think after 5 years with my partner, throughout which we've always been totally open and honest with each other, you think I'm somehow unaware of what's going on with her, but you somehow are?

My girlfriend has stayed with me through a severe mental health crisis that lasted well over a year. She's stayed with me even while I've been almost completely dependent on her financially. She's stayed with me despite the fact I have never been "stoic, dominant and masculine". Do you really think she's getting ready to mess me around and "play games" with me? Do you think I'm that stupid?

This is the biggest problem with your perspective. You've had apparently these poor experiences with women and you've projected this onto all women. You don't know anything about my partner, or even the majority of women, you're just assuming that because she's a woman she must be doing this thing that you think women do, and she's going to do this thing that you think all women eventually do. It's ignorant and quite honestly offensive, to me, my partner, and to women in general. You're making these sweeping generalisations, generalisations that virtually everyone is telling you are wrong, but you're stubbornly sticking to it.

To be honest with you, if you've had all these bad experiences with women, do you not think that the one commonality between them all is you? Do you not think you might be the problem?

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur3 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Again, you've taken this one specific description of how a small number of women behave and you've applied it to literally every woman out there is if they're all the same person. You said you wouldn't want a relationship like the one I have, despite there being many benefits to that, benefits that are far more than my girlfriend "bringing her body to the table." There is no twisted game, we do have a genuine connection, and that's perfectly possible with lots and lots of women out there, including "young and attractive" ones.

But also, if you want a genuine connection, how are you going to have that without allowing yourself to show some vulnerability and let someone into your life? It seems to me like you've been trying to uphold this "stoic, dominant, masculine" identity, assuming that's what men should be, then when your relationships have failed you've blamed women. I don't actually believe that your relationships have failed because you demonstrated any understanding of feminism, behaved in any way that might be considered less masculine, or because you've listened to any women. In fact it sounds to me a lot like you've never really listened to any women, you've just projected your own belief of what they are doing onto them, then when it's all gone wrong - because you're refusing to listen and just making assumptions - you've turned around and said "see, that's what I mean."

You really just seem to think all women are this one unified mind and that they all act the same, and it's really depressing to see. You're choosing to be alone forever, because you've filled your head with what some red piller tells you women are like, then blamed women for it. That's pretty toxic behaviour not just on women but on yourself. You're choosing to be lonely because you're so stubborn in your beliefs. It's sad.

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think you hit the nail on the head asking how do you form a relationship without being vulnerable? You can’t have a relationships without being open and honest but being open and honest destroyed the romantic chemistry you build in then beginning. So it is a catch 22 and why trying to have a relationship with a modern woman is futile.

In terms of me personally, obviously things have changed, I used to listen to women and I used to fail their shit tests because of this. luckily things played out a certain way where I was forced to reflect and I realized that there was an obvious pattern in my relationships. My opinion of women had drastically changed because of the relationships I’ve had and because of what I’ve seen from them. I think women are different in terms of their values, personality etc but in terms of how they operate and what they want I do think they are mostly similar.

I’m not redpilled because in many ways the Redpill is just the flip side of the blue pill, the blue pill says be a good guy and do A,B,C and eventually you’ll get a girlfriend, the redpill says no be a masculine man and do X,Y,Z and then women will like you. But the fact is women don’t want to be a normal healthy relationship regardless of which approach you take. No man on this planet has ever redpilled another man, women are the ones who redpill other men because without experience with women the redpill won’t make because you can’t put it in it’s proper context. You’re not wrong that it is sad, I wish I could go back to when I was a kid and when I believed that women wanted to be in healthy functional relationships because realizing that wasn’t true was definitely saddening, there’s no doubt.

[–]spiraldinosaur2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So it is a catch 22

But it's not, that's my point. You can be vulnerable and open without destroying the chemistry in the relationship. You just have to date women who aren't total shitheels.

why trying to have a relationship with a modern woman is futile.

Again, you're painting this picture that all "modern women" are this same exact stereotype. I don't think the problem is "modern women", I think the problem is that you are apparently only looking at these women who treat men badly whenever they express their emotions. That's on you.

I was forced to reflect and I realized that there was an obvious pattern in my relationships

Looking at your past relationships and saying "the women are the problem, not me" is not reflecting. YOU are the pattern across all of your relationships. I don't for one minute believe that listening to these women caused your relationships to fail. I am pretty certain that somewhere, you have gone wrong.

Why not give me an example. Tell me about a time when you listened to a woman, and somehow that ended up making her lose interest in you.

But the fact is women don’t want to be a normal healthy relationship regardless of which approach you take.

That's literally not a fact. It's not true, and there are countless examples to demonstrate it. It's simply your narrow perspective based purely on a narrow selection of women, and no doubt a poor effort to actually reflect on your own actions and take any responsibility. And if anything, it's a "fact" that a lot of red pill commentators push.

No man on this planet has ever redpilled another man, women are the ones who redpill other men because without experience with women the redpill won’t make because you can’t put it in it’s proper context.

Yea, more redpill crap. Blaming women for men's inabilities to do basic things like actually listen to women. There's guys on here who are getting into this red pill content in their early teens, and learning about "how women behave" directly from men. So many of the guys on here have absolutely zero experience with women; they've just quietly watched the girls at school and they've seen them date the more confident boys and then thrown themselves into redpill channels and incel forums. Even if men end up going down red pill rabbit holes because of their experience with a woman - like getting rejected - that's on them for not learning how to process these things in a healthy way; something that requires opening up, managing your emotions and your mental health, and being vulnerable. Oh, but we're not supposed to do that are we. Best go watch some red pill videos instead.

I wish I could go back to when I was a kid and when I believed that women wanted to be in healthy functional relationships because realizing that wasn’t true was definitely saddening, there’s no doubt.

If you literally just took the time to listen to women, if you turned off the red pill bullshit you're watching, and actually spent time with other people who are in healthy relationships, you could go back to knowing that women want healthy functional relationships. Because they do. I'm telling you. Your therapist friend is telling you. Women are telling you. The thousands of other people out here in happy, healthy, functional relationships are telling you. But you absolutely refuse to listen. You're completely deluded with this idea and stubborn about it.

It would be fine if your view was that "some women don't want to be in healthy, functional relationships and just want to play the game with men to get what they want." Because of course that's true. Some women are like that. Just as some men lie to women and promise them that they are loyal and in love, only to get them in bed and then ghost them once they shoot their load. There are bad people out there who exploit others. But your attitude is that ALL women are like this, and that there is no hope of finding a woman who actually wants a healthy and functional relationship. It's bizarre. It's ignorant. It's so sad to see. To have this mentality that all women think and behave alike is just so short sighted. Women are humans. Every human behaves differently. Just look amongst your friends, your coworkers, random people in a coffee shop; they're all different people with different interests and desires and expectations. To assume that women are somehow all wired exactly the same is reductionist, you're seeing them as nothing but walking cliches. And if that's how you think about women, then it's no wonder all of your relationships fail.

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

In terms of me personally I can think of every relationship I’ve been in except my relationship in HS because idk what I was even thinking back then and I can’t even remember it really so I take her out of it. I have reflected on my actions in those relationships and I do acknowledge that I made a lot of mistakes in those relationships because I was naive and I didn’t understand how women are and why they do the things they do. I had to figure out why every time I listened and did what they said it resulted in them acting up shortly after. Idk if the details really matter but the first incident I can remember I was 20 dating a girl a few years old (a mistake in and of itself) and she would complain that we had good chemistry but we didn’t have an emotional connection, I didn’t think much of it the first time I just thought she was emotional, we had both had a tough day and so I just wanted to comfortable her because she was really upset, then a week or so later she started crying about it again and I felt bad so I listened to her and tried to open up just a bit so she would feel better but a few days later she broke up with me, I felt her go cold so I knew it was coming but that was my first time taking note of something like that. I kind of just said alright she’s got some kind of issue and moved on. Similar such events have happened between that and when I got tired of it and threw it the towel but I won’t bore you with the details.

I’m not redpilled and I get that it’s a problem of men going into that space and being taken advantage of but most accept the redpill because it matches what they’ve seen when dating women, if they don’t have any experience then their opinion means nothing, redpill or not. I thought this page was gonna be like crapping on PUA’s and dating coaches and talking about how bad they are and people who bought those stupid courses or whatever, not some weird online bluepill simp paradise.

At a certain point actions have to matter more than words, I spent years listening to women and it got me nowhere, you can only try the approach you are advocating for so long before you realize that women ain’t having it and they are the sexual selectors of our species so I better change to get better results.

[–]spiraldinosaur2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I listened to her and tried to open up just a bit so she would feel better but a few days later she broke up with me

How do you even know the two are related? How did you open up? Did she even explain why she broke up with you?

By all means, bore me with the details. I wanna get to the bottom of this and figure out why you think the way you do.

most accept the redpill because it matches what they’ve seen when dating women

But most people generally don't accept the red pill. Most guys who do accept the red pill do so based on very minimal, very poor experiences with women that they went into without much prior understanding. They're almost always guys with poor social skills, with social anxiety, body dysmorphia, self esteem issues, depression and anxiety. They ask out women when they're not in a healthy place to deal with the rejection, or they aren't in a place to properly understand why they might have been rejected, or why they might have broken up. And so they go looking online and find the red pill. That's not women's fault. That's the guys fault for not knowing how to develop relationships and deal with their emotions.

not some weird online bluepill simp paradise.

That's not what this is at all. We are not "bluepill" because we (at least I) don't subscribe to any "Pills". We (people like me who are here to support people like you) are here to help you see the reality of relationships, and recognise how much lies the red pill is full of. We're here to help people develop healthy relationships with themselves first and foremost, so that they can then go ahead and develop healthy relationships with other people.

you can only try the approach you are advocating for so long before you realize that women ain’t having it

Then explain to me how I've had all of these healthy, fulfilling relationships with women throughout my life. Please, just tell me how it is that me doing exactly what I say you should do, has worked perfectly for me and so many other men.

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

She just said she didn’t think we would work out and weren’t compatible. I’ll admit I didn’t think that was fair because we hadn’t talked about the future or anything deep at that point so idk how she could came to that definitively, but she doesn’t owe me an explanation so that was pretty much it.

I also noticed in one long term relationship that a lot of other people were kind of in my ear that I should do more for her and everybody thought she was so great and on the surface I understand that I looked like the asshole but what people didn’t see was the pattern of anytime I did anything sweet for her she would go cold, punish me and start to shit test me shortly after, I would pull away as a result and then she would be all about it again and we would just continue on and I would wait until someone whether it be her or other people in my life guilted me into doing something nice for her again. When I finally realized we were just going in circles I ended it.

I could go into details of other relationships but I think you get the picture. All of them very bright beautiful young women, on the surface I was lucky to be with them and any guy would be lucky to be with them, I enjoyed a lot of my time with them. But the cold hard reality is that when you have a quality woman she gets a lot of attention from guys and so it’s very very easy on an emotional level to just become the equivalent of an orbiter or random simp in her DM’s despite the fact that logically and functional you are supposed to have a different relationship. Look, if I could snap my fingers and make it work the way you say, I absolutely would do that, but life doesn’t work that way.

And also I can’t speak to the guys dealing with rejection other than I feel bad for them because they are likely to be taken advantage of, but to me i just view rejection as happens and it’s not that big of a deal, I’m much more concerned by what happens when you’re in the relationship.

[–]spiraldinosaur2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

She just said she didn’t think we would work out and weren’t compatible.

So, from very little information you've jumped to the conclusion that it was because you listened to her? That doesn't make sense to me.

but she doesn’t owe me an explanation so that was pretty much it.

Well, she kinda does owe you an explanation, but you can't do much about that. But what you definitely shouldn't do is jump to conclusions because you don't have enough information.

anytime I did anything sweet for her she would go cold, punish me and start to shit test me shortly after, I would pull away as a result and then she would be all about it again

I can tell you now; that's not normal behaviour. Most women don't act like that. I don't know why she did that and I'd need to know more about exactly what you were doing for her and what conversations you were having, but that isn't how most women - or really most people - behave. It would be a shame to see all women as the same simply because that's how she behaved, don't you?

when you have a quality woman

Are they really "quality women" if they behave like that though? It sounds to me like your relationships have been fraught with communication gaps, with unusual behaviour and with a lack of mutual respect and support. They don't sound like "quality women" to me.

Look, if I could snap my fingers and make it work the way you say, I absolutely would do that, but life doesn’t work that way.

Sure, you can't snap your fingers. But you can learn to look out for red flags right at the start of a relationship and recognise when you're being messed around, then end it before it goes anywhere. Life does work that way when you meet actual quality women who do want to have a good relationship with someone, women who have good empathy skills, and who appreciate your empathy skills. That's how good relationships work, and there are endless examples of that.

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Unfortunately it is normal behaviour once you understand how the game is played. Once you understand the game, their behaviour makes sense and is very predictable. She can’t control the loss of attraction she feels when you give in to her, you have to control the frame so you don’t give in to her. I don’t think women are doing this on purpose, it’s just in women’s nature to try to tame you, they value having the bad boy submit to them because then they feel like they’ve won. Unfortunately once they’ve won the game, the relationship no longer serves a purpose to her so it ends. When I say quality women I really just mean young and attractive women who get a lot of attention from other men. At this point I believe this is how the vast majority of women operate so what are men supposed to do, your options are basically check out or bang your head against a wall trying to have a healthy functional relationship with women who don’t want that.

[–]AutoModerator1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What "game"? Dating isn't a game. Most people who are out there looking for a partner are not playing any kind of game, they're just creating bonds with other people.

Again, you're stuck on this idea that all women think like this. They don't. after FIVE YEARS of mutual respect with my partner, five years of being openly feminist, listening to her, supporting her, doing all the stuff she asks, I'm still here. I was never a "bad boy" and yet I have always been able to meet women and form good relationships. No woman has ever made this "bad boy submit" because I was never a bad boy in the first place.

I'm sure that means there are women who won't find me attractive because I don't have that "bad boy" image. I'm sure it means there are women out there who don't find me attractive because they can't get me to "submit". So what. There are plenty of other women out there who aren't like that, who do find me attractive for who I am, and we get to have a great time together because of it.

There are plenty of "young and attractive women who get a lot of attention from other men" who are also not shitty women who treat men like shit.

At this point I believe this is how the vast majority of women operate

They don't. I don't know what I can do to convince you of this. You really need to go out there and actually meet some different women. Maybe broaden your horizons and stop looking at women who are blatantly going to mess you around. I've been able to avoid that my whole life. You can too if you use some common sense. Maybe go out and make some actual female friends, without looking to date. Actually have some conversations with women, get to know them. You'll be doing yourself a favour.

[–]Live_Piglet_86381 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No, the game some women are playing. Not all women. In fact probably not even a majority of women. Apparently just the majority of the women you date because apparently you have poor taste and can't spot a narcissist so quickly. That's on you, my man.

I don't "give in and submit" I simply understand mutual respect. I'm not letting women walk all over me like some kind of door mat. I support the women I date, and they support me. I care for them, they care for me. It's a mutually beneficial relationship.

I really doubt there's any reliable, valid literature on this concept, but feel free to share some.

I also don't "hand my balls over to a woman in the hopes she likes me." Women tend to like me for my kind nature, my confidence, my personality, my humour, whatever else. I don't have to try and sell myself to women or submit myself or whatever. I meet women, we get on well, we start dating, it's that straight forward.

But you know what, you do you. If you're so stuck in this perspective that women are out to ruin men then maybe it's for the best you stay off the dating market and continue supping your "copium". You've created your own isolation and loneliness by insisting on this idea of what women are and how they behave, and you'll have to live with it. You'll continue saying it's because of women, that women are "playing games" but really that right there is the biggest jug of copium there is. The problem is you, but you won't take any responsibility. I've no doubt your relationships failed because you were messing up somewhere along the line - and I don't mean by listening to them or being good to them. I'm sure it was something else, but I'll never know. I hoped I might talk some sense into, just as your therapist friend tries to, but you're too far gone. It would be a waste of time for me to try any more. I feel very sorry for you. I don't know how you ended up in this state but I can't help you.

Suit yourself.

[–]AutoModerator1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]floracalendula 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]spiraldinosaur 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Trepptopus 14 points15 points16 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Difficult-Fly-6308 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 46 points47 points48 points 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dhunter001 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 38 points39 points40 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dhunter001 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]alieshaxmarie 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Metalloid_Space -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]ThePrinceJays -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mammajess 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[+]Metalloid_Space 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]sss133 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dry-Nobody6798 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[+]red_pov5 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[+]Metalloid_Space 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]baldyldss 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly -4 points-3 points-2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[+]UrbanChampion 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]alieshaxmarie1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]77CrossxX 2 years ago [recovered] (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]bluemagex2517 2 years ago [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link

[+]77CrossxX 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]bluemagex2517 2 years ago [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

[+]77CrossxX -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]bluemagex2517 2 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link

[+]77CrossxX -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]bluemagex2517 2 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

[+]77CrossxX -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]bluemagex2517 2 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, you should. But, historically a large percentage of the population thought that women were innately inferior (not just physically, but mentally and morally) and needed men to control and lead them. Hence the need for a movement against that.

The misconstrued meaning of the term feminism is a coordinated campaign by people who still believe that men are superior to make feminism look bad.

You could be brave and call yourself a feminist. You could read more about it a figure out how to better help women achieve more equity. You could readmore about how feminists have helped and continue to try to help men with their issues as well.

If you truly want to respect women, maybe actively take up the cause instead of passively doing the bare minimum. It's nice that you respect women, according to you, but are you really sure you're giving them true respect unless you actively read and address the things that women scholars have written about needing in order to be respected?

When I was a teenager I thought I was respectful of women. I thought being nice was enough. Reading and learning more made me realize I needed to do more.

[–]77CrossxX1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]bluemagex25171 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[+]flipsidetroll -23 points-22 points-21 points 2 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]InvestigatorIll6236 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sss133 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 11 points12 points13 points 2 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[+]W-Pilled -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[+]W-Pilled -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

And if it was the civil war, you'd tell a black person, "Slavery is only legal in the south, just move north." That was also a "state's rights issue".

Just today I saw a video of a megachurch pastor saying, during his sermon, that too many women walk around wearing shorts, and that "if he's on the jury at your rape trial, I'd let the man free, because men are men". Open your fucking eyes and look at how common and pervasive the oppression of women is in the US. Just because we're not ordered to wear hijabs doesn't mean we're treated as equal. You have to be fucking deaf and blind to not recognize that women are second class citizens here as well. Look at the news around abortion rights and birth control, a woman in Ohio was just criminally charged for miscarrying her pregnancy in a toilet at home after she was turned away from the hospital MULTIPLE TIMES after her water broke at 22 weeks, because of the overturning of roe v wade. Look at the news when a woman is raped or assaulted and her attacker gets a slap on the wrist, like the Brock Turner case. Look at how conservatives are making a case for abolishing no-fault divorce.

You are devastatingly un-educated if you genuinely think we have gender equality in the US.

[+]W-Pilled -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Yes, because everyone has the time and money to take off work, potentially get child care for their existing children, drive through several states, pay for an abortion, pay for multiple nights at a hotel while they recover, and drive back. And obviously there's no issues speaking freely about your abortion, there are sure to be noooo repercussions, no need to be discreet! Also, you are NOT guaranteed the ability to travel to a different state. There are already nut jobs trying to limit that.

Brock Turner is not a "fringe" case. Only .25% of all rapists in the US get incarcerated.

I'm basically never going to root for more incarceration because we all know the US prison system is dogshit and doesn't do anything to rehabilitate people, but yes, a woman and a man who do the exact same crime for the same reasons should absolutely get the same sentence. I don't know any feminists who would disagree with that. Funny how men commit WAY more violent crime than women though. And no, I don't think women should have to sign up for the draft because I don't think ANYONE should have to sign up for the draft.

[+]W-Pilled -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]floracalendula 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]W-Pilled1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]scarlettrinity 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]W-Pilled1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]scarlettrinity1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]W-Pilled1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Trepptopus 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]scarlettrinity 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]UrMomDotCom666 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[+]alieshaxmarie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]existentialcrysiss1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly -3 points-2 points-1 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]UrbanChampion7 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CurrencyLatter2908 -31 points-30 points-29 points 2 years ago (59 children) | Copy Link

[–]Toadino2 19 points20 points21 points 2 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[+]CurrencyLatter2908 -23 points-22 points-21 points 2 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]Toadino2 18 points19 points20 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]CurrencyLatter2908-13 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice89 17 points18 points19 points 2 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[+]CurrencyLatter2908 -7 points-6 points-5 points 2 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice89 11 points12 points13 points 2 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[+]CurrencyLatter2908 -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice89 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[+]CurrencyLatter2908 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice89 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]CurrencyLatter29081 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice895 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CurrencyLatter29081 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice897 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CurrencyLatter29081 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Dumbbjuice897 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]scarlettrinity2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Trepptopus1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[+]alieshaxmarie 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 14 points15 points16 points 2 years ago (36 children) | Copy Link

[–]CurrencyLatter2908 -5 points-4 points-3 points 2 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

[–]forget_what_u_know 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CurrencyLatter29081 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Weezerfan_number420 -11 points-10 points-9 points 2 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

[+]CurrencyLatter2908 -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Well, I'm a young hot chick and I'm dating a young hot male feminist who plays Magic the Gathering 2 to 3 nights a week and I wouldn't change a thing. (He's been teaching me how to play and I won my first 4-person free-for-all match on Friday, go me!)

When you see a girl with a good looking guy, you automatically assume he's rich? That he's super "masculine"? Stoic? Such an "alpha"? You have no idea who he is, he's a stranger to you. You are making assumptions about people even though you have NO idea what these people are like in actuality. Believe it or not, people can be both attractive AND kind/sensitive. Have you ever heard the phrase, "don't judge a book by its cover"?

When I look around me, I see all kinds of couples. Mixed levels of objective beauty, young teen couples, adult married couples and elderly couples, interracial couples, LGBT couples, rich and broke couples.

You have a cognitive bias because you've intrenched yourself so much in the manosphere so much that you can't fathom the reality that everybody wants something a little different, and that there are TONS of women who are NOT attracted to the "alpha" personality, myself included. You've been sold a lie because RP influencers make money off of young insecure men, and they've told you that it's hopeless for you if you're not born gorgeous, and you eat it up because it takes the pressure off you to actually make yourself into a decent person. It's easy to sit here and blame the feeeeeemoids because "they only want the alpha douchebags anyway", when it's much harder to actually grow a personality and learn to be kind and empathetic to people.

[–]Weezerfan_number4201 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well, I'm a young hot chick and I'm dating a young hot male feminist who plays Magic the Gathering 2 to 3 nights a week and I wouldn't change a thing. (He's been teaching me how to play and I won my first 4-person free-for-all match on Friday, go me!)

Me when I lie.

When you see a girl with a good looking guy, you automatically assume he's rich? That he's super "masculine"? Stoic? Such an "alpha"? You have no idea who he is, he's a stranger to you. You are making assumptions about people even though you have NO idea what these people are like in actuality. Believe it or not, people can be both attractive AND kind/sensitive. Have you ever heard the phrase, "don't judge a book by its cover"?

Yes, I dont need to know them. It's an easily observable and common trend that women go for men who have something of value to give them rather than just being a decent person. I'm not judging a book by its cover. I'm using extremely common trends to assume that that's most likely what is happening.

[+]CurrencyLatter2908 -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]CurrencyLatter29081 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[+]Weezerfan_number420 -4 points-3 points-2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, I'm a young hot chick and I'm dating a young hot male feminist who plays Magic the Gathering 2 to 3 nights a week and I wouldn't change a thing. (He's been teaching me how to play and I won my first 4-person free-for-all match on Friday, go me!)

Me when I lie.

When you see a girl with a good looking guy, you automatically assume he's rich? That he's super "masculine"? Stoic? Such an "alpha"? You have no idea who he is, he's a stranger to you. You are making assumptions about people even though you have NO idea what these people are like in actuality. Believe it or not, people can be both attractive AND kind/sensitive. Have you ever heard the phrase, "don't judge a book by its cover"?

Yes, I dont need to know them. It's an easily observable and common trend that women go for men who have something of value to give them rather than just being a decent person. I'm not judging a book by its cover. I'm using extremely common trends to assume that that's most likely what is happening.

When I look around me, I see all kinds of couples. Mixed levels of objective beauty, young teen couples, adult married couples and elderly couples, interracial couples, LGBT couples, rich and broke couples.

Congrats you only pay attention to the outliers, im so happy for you. Some of us see life for the unfair shithole it is.

You have a cognitive bias because you've intrenched yourself so much in the manosphere so much that you can't fathom the reality that everybody wants something a little different, and that there are TONS of women who are NOT attracted to the "alpha" personality, myself included. You've been sold a lie because RP influencers make money off of young insecure men, and they've told you that it's hopeless for you if you're not born gorgeous, and you eat it up because it takes the pressure off you to actually make yourself into a decent person. It's easy to sit here and blame the feeeeeemoids because "they only want the alpha douchebags anyway", when it's much harder to actually grow a personality and learn to be kind and empathetic to people.

I dunno what makes you think I'm a part of this manosphere shit, I never once said I believe in all that alpha male bullshit people like tate spew online. "Tons of women not into alpha(🤢) personality" using the word "tons" lightly I see. I may he young and insecure but I damn sure don't give my hard earned money to those bozos so let's refrain from saying I do. You are right about the second part though, you are helpess if you aren't born gorgeous or rich. Unless you get lucky enough to be a 1% outlier who finds someone that doesn't care about that stuff, but life's a miserable unfair bitch so that's not happening to most of us. I am a decent person, I dont know why you're implying that that's hard.

"It's easy to sit here and blame the feeeeeemoids because "they only want the alpha douchebags anyway"," again with the alpha shit, I never once parroted that crap so stop putting words in my mouth pretty please.

I do have a personality and I am kind(as much as a pessimist can be), but you tend to get bitter once you realize you're destined to be fucked over for the rest of your life.

[+]W-Pilled -3 points-2 points-1 points 2 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

It's because when you're 18/19/20, you're stupid and inexperienced. I sure as hell was. This goes for all genders. Then you get a little older and gain some confidence and go "wait, why am I putting up with this?" and you wise up and pick better. Little kids want candy for dinner every night too, because they don't understand the consequences of what that means. RP mindset just tells men to be the "candy for dinner" equivalent of a boyfriend, AKA maybe exciting and indulgent for a moment but will ultimately leave you sick and hollow if you stick with them. There's a reason the chase young, young women - it's because when you're young, you don't know what red flags to look out for.

Why is it you conflate being a hyper-masculine asshole douchebag with strength? There was nothing strong about my ex who was a "macho" guy. He was emotionally immature, bossy, arrogant, and selfish. How is that strength? Years down the line, he reached out and APOLOGIZED to me for how poorly he treated me because he had grown a bit and realized what a dick he had been.

Is my boyfriend, who is kind, smart, loving, generous, and emotionally open weak? Is he weak because he treats me well? Is he weak because I love him? He has a good job, he is physically active, he has an active friend group, he's funny, he's extremely smart, and he's extremely kind. Do you call that weakness? Because if so, I'm glad I don't live in your world.

[+]W-Pilled -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Trepptopus 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]W-Pilled1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Trepptopus1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]W-Pilled1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Trepptopus1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Redpill simply tells men to take advantage of young, naive women so they can mistreat them for their own pleasure before they get older and realize the games that are being played. Yes, people do that. Just because you CAN doesn't mean it's right. You're a piece of shit if you do that, end of discussion.

Why did you pick the macho guy earlier over the sensitive guy first? Surely it couldn't be because you were just stupid. There had to be something he had that you thought was attractive. Why couldn't you get a guy like your new bf before?

Because I hadn't met the sensitive guy yet? I was 19 and we matched on tinder and I thought macho guy was hot and my self esteem was too low to understand why he would toy with me. And then I woke up and realized it was a him problem and not a me problem, and that you can't MAKE anyone love you if they don't want to love you. It's a lesson everyone's gotta learn. And now I'm 27, finishing my master's degree, and have WAY better self esteem and don't take any bullshit. And now "macho" guy has been married for like 7 years to a disney adult lady and he wears mickey ears at disneyworld on her instagram. The macho do not always remain macho.

I don't think that's necessarily weakness for your new bf. But you also don't exactly disprove the red pill worldview since you kind of prove it happened to you, in a sense. The macho guy got you first and now the beta is dealing with his sloppy seconds

I think it's sad that you think people are "at their prime" when they're college freshmen, lol. I am a better person in pretty much every way than I was back then; people grow, we're supposed to change. I'm smarter, I'm MUCH more mature, I have more money, I actually know what I want out of life and can plan ahead for it, I'm better looking now, I have more hobbies, and I have my shit together.

I've dated more than 1 person, oh the humanity! I must be diseased, disgusting, used up, damaged goods. My poor boyfriend, dealing with me, the "sloppy seconds". He must be a saint, dating a smart, funny, beautiful, loyal, tall blonde, who loves him endlessly, treats him amazingly, fantastic cook, career-driven, self-sufficient woman with the awesome family who have welcomed him with open arms. He didn't take my virginity, therefore we can never be happy together, despite already being happy together.

Sorry I can get laid and you can't, brother lolllllllll. I'm such a sloppy, sloppy whore and yet your dick remains dry.... How mysterious.

[–]W-Pilled2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lilycamilly1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]W-Pilled2 points 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Kurved4201 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Weezerfan_number420 -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]AdResponsible3278 -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Women like this don’t have any other argument besides saying you must watch Tate or Fresh and Fit. My parents met in middle school and were together for their entire lives before my dad died. My parents had a wonderful marriage and my dad has said some of these very real things about woman as I went through my heartbreaks as a teen. They are not all sunshine and rainbows. They will use Shame, insults, and guilt to anyone they perceive as being red pilled without gathering any further context. This is the only thing they can use to defeat your points. They don’t apply observable facts data or statistics into their arguments. They’re going to use their anecdotal experience and a few friends to create their narrative instead of realistically looking at the world. This is what red pill teaches men. How to not be shamed or guilted (usually by feminists) for a way of thinking that allows men to be free. Red pill does not push to harm or use women. They push to have fun with women the same way women have fun and date around with guys. Red pill teaches men how to play the game from the male perspective. Women are just not used to being in men spaces and hearing men locker room talk.

[–]Trepptopus 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

You guys don't have any argument. It's literally "what some man told me about women" like that's your whole argument and ideology right there, fucking source: "trust me bro" you cite your dad, your traditional dad with some clearly whack takes about women, sorry but no he's not a fucking expert on human sexual behavior. Redpill is all jock bro bullshit, lockeroom talk as you put it and blackpill is fucking incels larping as scientists while misreading and misrepresenting data. Fuck sometimes they post links to studies that aren't about the point they are trying to make, you guys are clowns. You're clown tier, stop it.

Here's a video that goes into detail about all this shit with references. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgO25FTwfRI

Here's a playlist. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrAlewEkt7cFGvDfu_3SidUMf3T9E9kbj&si=J_efuSVZ9l-0p9QP

[+]Weezerfan_number420 -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]AdResponsible3278 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Your entire response is exactly what my response highlighted. Instead of trying to attack my arguments, you want to attack me personally. You want to assume I don’t have any thoughts of my own because I chose to take some of my dad’s advice. Like because I’m a man who listened to another man means I can’t take my own expiernces and form my own opinions going forward. My dad’s advice had nothing to do with human sexual behavior so I don’t know why you’re saying he’s a sexual expert. My father warned me about responses like yours that are rooted in insulting me and my points rather than arguing with something of substance. That has nothing to with red pill or any label you want to put on my response. And the other hive mind women are going to upvote your comments because you’re using buzz words like calling me an incel…even though women are easier than ever to get with today and I’ve had plenty of women. Im an athlete so they’re always around. But Yeah, keep telling yourselves everyone who sees what red pill talks about an incel. It possible to agree with one point and not the entire message someone spews.

Just because I agree with a red pill point or observation, that does not mean I’m a red pill man. I am actually a feminist because I believe a woman right to choose freely.

There is no effective communication that can come out of a conversation with you because you’re only looking to insult, shame, and guilt men who do not think like you.

I wonder how you handle disagreements in real life. I feel sorry for your future husband and any disagreements that arise (Returning the insults).

[–]AutoModerator1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AdResponsible3278 -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

See how you just tried to shame and insult my dad’s ONE perception of women that I shared with you. You also insulted me by calling me a clown. All I said was you didn’t have an argument…

He didn’t have a “whack” perception. Just like any person (man or woman), they will use these tactics (shame, insults) when they don’t have an argument. That was my point I was making.

You said “he’s not a fucking expert on human sexual behavior”…when did I ever imply that he was? I was talking about woman and shaming tactics (which aren’t specific to women). That’s what he showed me that related to the red pill context I’ve seen. My question to you is, who is the expert on sexual human behavior?

You didn’t bother to ask about my personal experience or get any further context. You’re just assuming I take “what some man told me about woman” and internalize it as my own experience. Again trying to shame me just for sharing my experience.

I don’t subscribe to any pill so you’re placing a label on me. I subscribe to what makes sense to me and what I can see and observe around me. I’m definitely not an incel…never have been, so thanks for trying to shame and insult me with that. Common tactic. Not everything the red pill says is untrue is all that I’m trying to say.

Make an argument about a red pill talking point instead of getting personal, then we can have a conversation.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]scarlettrinity 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]bluemagex2517 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Women like me now
Author	ProfessorRocks
Upvotes	122
Comments	222
Date	February 27, 2024 10:35 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1b18spl/women_like_me_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/women-like-me-now.1246566 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246566

Comments