Is it best to show interest or make her guess?

Beezus333 · 2022-05-22T07:15:21+00:00

Show interest but if she’s not receptive or starts playing games, move on.

James_Bob_007 · 2022-05-22T08:23:53+00:00

Actually both.

Show her that you like her, but not how much.

You have the best of both worlds. You have both showed intent and made her guess (how much do you like her).

ParticularAmazing112 · 2022-05-22T15:56:11+00:00

Show interest. If you don’t show interest, you risk being thrown in the friends category

KeyDragonfruit9 · 2022-05-22T08:30:33+00:00

Don’t play games like that. Love bombing is associated with abuse and cults and makes you sketchy to try using on people. If some sources are saying that “it works”, it’s “working” for people or groups who are using it for fucked up ends.

You are both people and want to connect with each other as people. Show that you like her, back off it it’s not reciprocated, proceed (respectfully) if it is.

It’s not rocket science. These PUA style strategies teach people how to act manipulative and will just socially disconnect you from deep connection with other people, this will not get you a good or healthy relationship worth having.

P.S. r/everymanshouldknow, this post explains this well.

Rah_nell · 2022-05-22T11:20:15+00:00

Depends on their attachment style.

If they’re the clingy & anxious attachment style then love bombing will give them security. They’ll like you being around all the time and they get hooked faster sooner. (Drawback: they are a bit more emotionally unhinged and sensitive. They’ll require constant reassurance bc you’re taking on the role of the giver of their validation). Backing off from them for a day or two will have a HUGE and almost destructive emotional impact on them..which can be as dangerous cleanup when you return bc they’ll feel anxious about you leaving again

If they’re avoidant, introverted, less social. Then making them wonder will help. But it only works AFTER you’ve made your presence known and they’re interested in you. That’s when you do the push and pull method so they seek you out instead. (Drawback: if you do this too soon before making your presence known and establishing interest by them, it’ll just die. You have to be present almost constantly; make them feel safe and secure then back off completely for a day or two. Have them wonder what’s up and then go back in….but do it too harshly and they’ll simply drop you)

Disclaimer: Ive had this done to me, learned and have done it to others I was dating.

atomant88 · 2022-05-22T06:16:04+00:00

be honest, be direct, dont play games. dont waste your time, dont waste her time. if she's not DTF then dump her ASAP and find someone who is

Suspicious-Bid-9583 · 2022-05-22T16:10:04+00:00

Show interest. If she starts playing games drop her faster than a hot plate.

determinator94 · 2022-05-23T00:47:53+00:00

Hint at interest in her, but you always wanna keep her guessing. When you’re keeping her guessing, she’s gonna wanna know more about you. She’s gonna think “Huh this guy is a hard read” so she’ll want to know more about the mysterious guy didn’t outright show attention or validation. Most guys get put in the friend zone (aka free attention for her) because they outright show interest, and that can as something as simple as complimenting her beauty, kissing her ass by being agreeable, being dependable by making yourself always available, etc. You don’t wanna do any of this; all of us guys are guilty of this. That’s why depending on where you are in life, you gotta focus on you. Whenever you’re interacting with a girl you find attractive and wanna attract, you gotta focus on your - your grind, your purpose, your physique, etc. When you’re interacting with her, stay in your frame. Focus on YOU and YOU ALONE when you’re interacting with her.

(Now when I say focus on you when interacting with her I don’t mean be a dick or a guy who views her as just a cheap fuck or just a number. I mean stay in your frame, stay focused on you so you’re not tempted to let your monkey brain go crazy like “OOH GOD SHES SO FUCKING SEXY”; keep your composure)

Few-Web-1236 · 2022-05-22T12:23:14+00:00

No, please don’t do this! It sucks to be on the receiving end of this. Be as genuine as you truly feel. Be direct, expressive, communicate. I told a guy I found him attractive and he started behaving this way. It’s manipulative and a huge turn off.

Heizenbrg · 2022-05-22T12:06:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

taylorskyblue · 2022-05-22T13:21:14+00:00

Playing games gets tiring and old after a certain point. As a girl, I would just move on tbh. We would realize there's probably a reason why you have to resort to playing mind games. 🙃 Honestly, we have other guys that are showing us interest, not just you. 😉 stop playing games and be authentic, flirtatious, and fun. Show that you're interested, and see if she's receptive. Ask her out, jeez.

caesarfecit · 2022-05-22T16:43:13+00:00

This is a somewhat complex question, because it hinges a lot on her personality and what she responds to, so you have to get a read on her.

If she's the extroverted, impulsive, and excitable type, these types like to chase and take some initiative. So it's crucial to not make yourself a sure thing or do all the work. These types need to invest more for their interest to solidify. So you need to be more of a mystery to hold their attention.

Whereas if she's more passive, patient, and subtle - these types need more upfront investment from you to feel invested. Being direct and leading pays off more with these types, whereas the other responds more to teasing and misdirection.

The you see the same thing with girls who are sexually repressed versus sexually comfortable. The former type responds more to sexual validation and desire-as-a-reward, while the latter responds more to banter, teasing, and prize framing.

GlitteringPause8 · 2022-05-22T17:11:21+00:00

Omg are you joking? How about don’t play games. Show interest if you are interested and don’t if you aren’t.

Euphoric_Clock9394 · 2022-05-22T17:54:06+00:00

I appreciate a guy reciprocating interests continuously through whatever stage we’re in. I am a very expressive person but don’t love bomb just express how I feel about a person (i.e. asking the guy out on dates, texting often and considering their time, etc). It’s lovely seeing someone doing that just like me!

Arti-miss22 · 2022-05-22T17:57:06+00:00

Show interest! But if they don't seem to reciprocate try not initiating for a while and see if they try to put the effort in.

It shouldn't always be one sided. And hot and cold is confusing and a waste of time if you actually like the person

These-Calligrapher · 2022-05-22T17:06:32+00:00

Show interest. Just not from a needy place.

TheTruth221 · 2022-05-22T07:18:53+00:00

have her guest like a puzzle

Artist-in-Residence- · 2022-05-22T07:44:03+00:00

I think when someone is hot and cold, I lose interest. I don't like men who think they need to play games and such. If I have to wonder if a guy likes me, I just assume he doesn't and make zero effort

2022-05-22T15:35:49+00:00

I have known a lot of girls who say they don’t like guys who play games and just wants a guy to show her a great amount of attention/affection, but when you go over their dating history all of their boyfriends didn’t show them quite as much attention and affection as they wanted leaving them feeling at least slightly frustrated. Their guy friends who were waiting for their lucky day gave them all of that attention they could ever want and were never rewarded with anything. Most women are attracted to guys who play it hot and cold. Even mature women. It’s just how women’s minds operate.

MEN: remember that most women are deeply unaware of what they actually find attractive so be very careful when taking advice. Women can give good advice when it comes to long term relationship dynamic stuff, but when it comes to attraction? Again from my observations what women SAY they like in a man and who they ACTUALLY end up with are two vastly different things (and definitely not from their lack of options).

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2022-05-22T07:20:28+00:00

Depends on how u show it

If by “confessing feelings to her”- def weak move

If by actions - yep. Or verbally, if thats the part of the game.

2022-05-22T13:55:04+00:00

Make her guess.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-05-22T15:25:17+00:00

For me let her guess and validate her. Girls wanna feel them special but if you're too obvious that they can have you you become boring pretty easily but like if you use teasing and push pulls and she keeps wondering what are we? is he gonna like me or not and you validate her and you give her a reason why you like her shes gonna feel that she earned you that important for sex but if you just simply wanna have a gf also like compliment her but in a right way but first its better to be colder and be less amazed by her and the time goes by, you get to know her a Lil bit and you get to know her enough to decide what you like in her and why shes special

2022-05-22T15:29:47+00:00

Imagine you are buying washing machines. You arrive at the store because the machines look appealing. But does that mean you are desperate to buy the first one you see without looking further? Of course not, even though you are interested you want to evaluate whether it is a quality product.

In the same way, its okay to be interested in a woman based on positive first impressions. But you want to be in the mindset that you are still evaluating whether she would make a good partner.

dtsanderos · 2022-05-22T17:33:15+00:00

Love bombing works because it is an incongruent action and leaves the women unsure of your intention ie whether you actually like them. Manipulative but yeah. Not necessary either

BitchLetEmKnow · 2022-05-22T18:31:46+00:00

Im a broken mother fucker.

If you show too much interest it's a turn off.

If you show no interest outside of basic conversation i assume you're not interested.

So you have to have this balance of showing interest in sublte ways that make me have to guess if you're interested or not while not being overt about it. Following my lead instead of taking the initiative to move things along.

For example, if someone shows me interest its a MAJOR turn off if they ever start a conversation with "Hey (enter overused big compliment)". I instantly write you off mentally cause It's safe to assume anything else that comes out of your mouth is gonna be gaudy flirting and an abundance of compliments. "Blah blah blah, thanks for the compliments. No I don't have snapchat/facebook/a phone number."

If someone approaches me with general conversation "Hey, how are you? What brings you here/What brings you to this app?" Etc. And we can talk like we are genuinely getting to know each other, you laugh at a corny joke i make, i laugh at yours, you're not being overt with any compliments you give, "I like your shoes, i enjoy a nice pair of Converse.", "you look really nice in your outfit", "that color really compliments you" and you dont push for any form of contact to continue talking to me, 9/10 ill offer mine up cause I enjoyed talking to you. That shit is attractive af.

TL;DR: Little bit of both. Just treat me like a person, not a goal and don't be overt.

Alternative_Title384 · 2022-05-22T19:12:06+00:00

Show interest but not that much, she has to be receptive first

Asleep_War5333 · 2022-05-23T06:08:01+00:00

Look if you have play those mind games, do you even like her? It's just a shallow way of showing intent to a woman as a man. I would say if you're going in it go with an open heart, truly show her how she is the most beautiful woman that you have ever known in your life. Let her bask in your genuine compliments that are a self reflection of the type of man you are that is not afraid to be vulnerable and a man who absolutely loves women. Don't go around playing games. There are already a surplus number of boys out there (note I said boys and not men) who are playing hard to get, who will one day show interest and another day go cold as a turkey. You be different my man. You approached that woman because you liked her, so then be excited to show your feelings. Don't negate them thinking a woman will despise it and start losing interest in you.

To get started with this mentality, you have to imbibe the thought that woman are meant to be loved and respected and nothing less. Give her the best possible experience that is by showing your authentic self, the real you and I promise if you both decide to part ways in the future she will always remember you as the man who showed her how to love and not someone because of which she gets trust issues and start resenting men and the love that she really deserves.

gibsongirl2020 · 2022-05-23T14:45:44+00:00

Well there is a difference between interest and then being overwhelmingly interested; needy verge of stalker ... no I don't enjoy that its creepy. But maybe you don't understand the subtleties of the two.

Title	Is it best to show interest or make her guess?
Author	Environmental_Cress2
Upvotes	45
Comments	71
Date	May 22, 2022 6:13 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uv4yg7/is_it_best_to_show_interest_or_make_her_guess/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-best-to-show-interest-or-make-her-guess.1259022 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259022

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