Fickleness of Women: How little your approach would impact their lives

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-02-15T12:19:28+00:00

Never make a grand confession to a friend, just ask them out romantically. If they say no, you have your answer.

99% of the time, they already know. Making a grand proclamation of love makes women feel cornered and uneasy.

Night_Hawk1 · 2022-02-15T11:49:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rich_god · 2022-02-15T12:42:19+00:00

I'm sorry but if you think women are fickle and that your story is a proof of that, it means you're not over your self-esteem issues.

hisgreatness64 · 2022-02-15T15:26:42+00:00

When it comes to seduction there's a clock running. That window closes fast. The way you stay out of the friend zone is to go as far as you can as fast as you can.

thelambofdeth · 2022-02-15T13:56:29+00:00

I do believe that women are fickle, but confessing your love to her like some simp beta was a really bad move and doesn't really prove anything. A grand confession only puts them on the spot and makes it weird af.

Now, the crux: she told me that she just got out of a toxic relationship and that she could never ever have feelings for anyone. she couldn’t even think of anyone in that way. thus, she was not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. she gave me super super deep reasons for this.

Lol she wasn't being fickle here, she was being nice. Ofc that spiel was all a lie. She just wasn't into you and had to think of some bs not to come off like a bitch after you just declared your love for her. You put her in an awkward af situation.

RainbowChardonnay · 2022-02-15T15:02:19+00:00

Good for her being picky af . She’s not fickle, she just wasn’t into you and didn’t want to tell you that bluntly.

cronasminate · 2022-02-15T15:46:23+00:00

I’m glad she’s happy, though. Very proud she’s able to come out of her shell of the trauma of a toxic relationship.

Good on you being positive but she totally made that shit up lol. She just didn’t like you bro and didn’t want to be a victim of homicide. Everyone’s saying it because it’s obvious.

omigodd · 2022-02-15T14:20:13+00:00

Glad that you are motivated yourself. But your conclusions/judgements about this girl are wrong. You don't know what happened between the woman and the other dude. You are assuming he did EXACTLY what you did and as a result labelling the girl as fickle. Whereas in reality, the girl had a different level of attraction to begin with, with you both and then both you guys did different things after that which affected her level of attraction.

Thierr · 2022-02-15T17:13:51+00:00

Women aren't fickle. She just wasn't into you and wanted to let you down easy. She seems like a nice person.

Improve and become the most attractive and interesting version of yourself you can be. Be in love with yourself before you expect others to do so.

2022-02-15T16:58:34+00:00

This woman wasn't fickle. She just wasn't into you.

Czekraft · 2022-02-15T17:02:40+00:00

People are conditioned to be "nice" to others. In other words, they'll lie through their teeth because they don't want to deal with the possibility of the other person being upset.

But you might as well take their word for it because life is too short to waste time on excuses. If they care, then it's up to them to reach out next.

BoJacksBurnerAcc · 2022-02-15T18:07:49+00:00

This is why guys take the approach of quantity over quality. They throw a million darts at the board and “know” a couple are going to stick. I wouldn’t say I’m a ladies man, but I’ve had my fair share. IMO always having a woman in your life detracts. Learning to be cool with yourself and being self sufficient is a far greater attribute than having a body count in the 100s. Once you’ve mastered your own self, find the woman who ADDS to your kingdom. Don’t have a queen just to be able to say you have one

Complex-Peak · 2022-02-15T11:51:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing. But really it shouldnt matter, Respect for yourself means you are not dependent on how other people feel about you, you can't control that, no matter how righteous you believe you are.

JetPillar · 2022-02-15T18:49:24+00:00

How is women being attracted to one man and not all men fickle? Your confession doesn’t make her like you if she doesn’t like you.

krispykreme01 · 2022-02-15T15:43:23+00:00

They don’t forget bro they tell all their home girls about it and they laugh smh. But at least you learned a valuable lesson.

Also she just wasn’t interested in you. You lost her respect by being friends, women are not stupid she immediately knew you had feelings for her but you were scared and settled for friends.

Be mindful of your thoughts homie they betray you.

Yokowi · 2022-02-15T13:13:13+00:00

We don't forget, trust me 🤗

2022-02-15T17:53:05+00:00

you really thought that by confessing your feelings to her that she'll magically fall for you, bro this isn't Disney. but at least now you know what not to do.

SuaveFuck · 2022-02-15T13:51:58+00:00

they're not worth it. simple as as that.

it = you ruining your life or at least good nights of sleep over them. if youre served up a "white lie" or even a malicious lie, whatever rejection you get....consider it as toddler talk, move on with your life. theres ALWAYS a next one.

Horsemanofthedank · 2022-02-15T10:07:57+00:00

Your awesome man 👍

2022-02-15T18:13:26+00:00

Please go to therapy and fix your self-esteem issue. "Just be confident" crap does not work. You most probably have some deep-seated issue. I was in the same spot. I went to therapy and did the hard work. Now I don't even care about these people to begin with, let alone confess my love for them.

Keezymac34 · 2022-02-15T18:39:38+00:00

Great post and depressing

FranangerForce · 2022-02-15T13:29:39+00:00

Keep the good work bro, don't listen to these white knight betas!

2022-02-15T17:48:15+00:00

"Simple, be direct. approach women. go out and talk to them. just be open and if you strike out, move the fuck on." right on buddy!!

ddrj · 2022-02-15T18:56:47+00:00

Spotlight Effect

drumkitalpha · 2022-02-15T19:27:46+00:00

It's not fickleness, people just like what people like. That's what you should take away from this. Are you attracted to every single girl? Imagine if every single girl approached you, would you want to date them all? No. Of course not, because you're not attracted to everyone.

The problem here is that you developed deep feelings for someone that doesn't find you attractive and probably never will. You're just setting yourself up to feel like shit. You should approach people early to see if they're physically attracted to you and then develop feelings over time, mutually.

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-02-15T23:16:58+00:00

Im just not ready to have a relationship/fuck........with you

recyclablebanthas · 2022-02-16T00:37:56+00:00

1

Fast forward to college: I came to a top public school in LA, and was rife with a bad case of oneitis - to the point where I virtually fell in love with this one girl. We got close, I was basically just considered a friend for not showing any indications of interest, but I caught hella strong feelings. I decided that, in order to build up some courage and confidence - I’d tell her what I felt. I basically told her I loved her, and said some super cringey and romantic stuff which in hindsight I should not have. Facepalm, am i right?

You've left a lot of details out of this situation, but there's enough to say that the way you approached things did not increase your chances.

And to be clear here, there are a couple of reasons why you'd be considered a friend:

She had no initial attraction herself and wasn't self-motivated to make a move on you by herself.
Your lack of ability to make a move was a turn off which squashed any chances that might have been present.
It's possible there was absolutely zero chance from the onset. Sometimes people just aren't interested in it's not going to work out.

2

Now, the crux: she told me that she just got out of a toxic relationship and that she could never ever have feelings for anyone. she couldn’t even think of anyone in that way. thus, she was not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. she gave me super super deep reasons for this.

So let's break this down.

You waited for a while to build up courage. It's unclear how long because you've left that information out, but it's very likely that she felt things building up and it was probably a bit awkward and helped turn her off if she wasn't already.
Regardless of whether she was lacking in attraction from the start or turned off by your actions, by the time you confess, things were definitely not going well and made worse by the delivery of your confession.
In that situation, one can end up dealing with a lot of fallout from the person who's rejected. (I have honestly seen this happen for men or women who reject someone intentionally or unintentionally and then have to socialize with them afterwards.)
A lot of people adopt ways of mitigating possible fallout from rejecting someone, especially if they've dealt with it multiple times. What she did was a rational reaction of someone who's attempting to mitigate fallout after someone awkwardly confessed to them.
She phrased what she said in an attempt to completely but kindly shut down any possible argument that could have come from you because one of the most common reactions to being rejected is bargaining. The rejected person will often feel compelled to make the situation even more uncomfortable by trying to debate the other person into being attracted.

3

Fast forward three weeks: today is valentine’s day. I see her story to see how she’s gotten a whole barrage of stuff by someone. someone told me that another dude virtually confessed his love for her - much like I did - and now she’s going out with him and is so excited as if she’s also in love.

One or two things is likely true here:

She already had some initial attraction to the guy and was willing to overlook a misstep or two.
The guy likely didn't wait too long before making his move.

Also, I'm curious exactly what he said in his confession versus what you said in yours. This is not an apples to apples situation and small differences may matter quite a bit.

4

What’s the point of telling you this? Simple. women are super fickle...... They have too many options.... Whatever you say to them, they’ll forget in max a week.

A couple things here:

You waited too long and when you confessed, it was super awkward and made things worse. Even someone who's not fickle would react the way she did. Fickleness is not a factor here.
No one is going to be attracted to everyone they meet. So being approached by many people or having many options is a mischaracterization of the situation. They aren't going to be into every person who comes at them. It's not about forgetfulness.

Title	Fickleness of Women: How little your approach would impact their lives
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	153
Comments	46
Date	February 15, 2022 10:06 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sszoii/fickleness_of_women_how_little_your_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fickleness-of-women-how-little-your-approach-would.1266737 https://theredarchive.com/post/1266737

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