I feel like this abundance of sex is not what I wanted

iiexistenzeii · 2022-02-07T05:41:20+00:00

I think asking yourself "why" might land you to your answer?

Why did you want casual sex? To feel happy/worthy/satisfied etc.

Whatever that answer is, you can ask another why, or you can say what else can you do to get the same feeling that's not from sex.

If you want a girlfriend, know that relationships are a responsibility and takes time and effort. Go have a good relationship. And then see what you want. Best of luck friend.

littles_secret · 2022-02-07T08:15:04+00:00

I think asking yourself what need casual sex is fulfilling if it’s not just to finish or enjoy it. It sounds like what you may want is intimacy not physical gratification.

I’d say look into becoming legitimate friends with decent bonds with the people you want to regularly hook up with. REAL friends with a sprinkle of benefits. I’ve had super deep bonds with fwb without dating them and they’re the best hookups over any relationship I’ve ever had. You may find what you’re looking for if you change what you look for

dillpick15 · 2022-02-07T14:32:17+00:00

Been there man. It's fun af at first, but gets kind of empty after a while.

carl_karl · 2022-02-07T11:42:03+00:00

after my breakup I felt this exact way all I wanted was to keep getting laid but after a while it gets a little lonely n u start wanting something else but hopefully it gets better for both of us buddy

Popular_Rush · 2022-02-07T10:30:32+00:00

Same man. Didn't get any girls until I made a tinder account and fucked around a lot. It's not fun anymore. Opening the app and writing to new girls also got boring. I just want a relationship now

GeorgeKaplanIsReal · 2022-02-07T08:07:00+00:00

It’s a constant back and forth. You crave what you don’t have and hate (well maybe not hate) what you have an abundance of.

I literally bounce between periods of seeking just casual sex and wanting something more. Usually after an extended period of either.

I wish I had a better answer, but I don’t.

SithLordJediMaster · 2022-02-07T12:54:54+00:00

Where did you meet with these women?

tonstermits69 · 2022-02-07T06:30:53+00:00

Maintain a high quality girlfriend bro

trist0n2 · 2022-02-07T04:47:50+00:00

Absolutely feel you man. Casual sex is nice but it gets old pretty fast if you’re not some sort of sexual deviant

Xombie0991 · 2022-02-07T06:46:27+00:00

Mind sharing how you got all this sexual abundance?

rustoof · 2022-02-07T07:39:57+00:00

It's not your job. If it's not what you wanted just stop. I prefer to have monogamous relationships where "I love you" is said and meant. I don't find casual sex worth the time investment anymore. I have dry spells because of this but the highs are way higher.

Vril_SA_PL · 2022-02-07T16:19:17+00:00

Cuz pleasure is not our ultimate aim

Once you burn out those dopamine receptors

You would be like

What did I waste my life for?

Find what gives you purpose / meaning

Something more powerful than sex

Good luck in finding that

LongLiveMacdre · 2022-02-07T12:14:43+00:00

A bunch of girls means 1 😆, Please help me Reddit, I’m having so much casual sex I don’t know what to do 😫😫!!!

ChurchofCaboose1 · 2022-02-07T15:08:05+00:00

In my feed, the post above yours was a guy talking about casual sex being overrated on a different sub. I would agree with you. Sex is way better in a relationship. I've done casual sex. It was fun the first several times. With a person that you're in a relationship is where it's at.

Paltenburg · 2022-02-07T15:30:28+00:00

I don't get it..

Why don't you do what you want and keep one of those women you're seeing? (surely there's one who also wants something steady)

Bigfknpogger · 2022-02-07T16:10:36+00:00

Went through the same exact thing. Was having women over after my divorce in March left and right, it didn't make me feel any better. I'm currently pursuing a woman I genuinely can't get enough of now. The sex is so much better when you have a strong emotional attachment,at least it feels that way for me.

DaggersandDots · 2022-02-07T16:20:21+00:00

“dry spree” is not a thing you can say.

2022-02-07T17:28:57+00:00

Find yourself a good Christian girl, enough said- or a girl who has clear and evident self worth- a working girl who has goals and ambitions or a girl who wants to wife up and be a stay at home mom and has plans for that

FlatDistance5 · 2022-02-07T07:07:42+00:00

Have you tried rotations? Great relationships with multiple women?

PlatinumXCash · 2022-02-07T07:42:49+00:00

Yeah I lost my v at 17 I'm 19 now with 23 body's and most of it wasn't great I just wanna wake up to the same girl every morning

lelucif · 2022-02-07T05:42:51+00:00

For me, the idea of something “meaningful” in the romantic sense sounds like something to be desired in theory, and is certainly something which has been romanticised for millennia. But the reality tends to be rather disappointing from personal experience. A romantic relationship is a futile device and so is romantic love and all that comes with it.

As for getting tired of abundance of intercourse, I can relate, alas. Though I had always been sexually deviant and tended to do the most deprived shit you can think of when I once upon a time lacked the sexual attention I had yearned for—as soon as I got a lot of it, I felt disappointed. I’m not really turned on by any of it anymore. And my horny state is just horny now, as opposed to the sick state my horniness once was. Gets a bit boring.

Also, it’s almost 7AM for me right now and I just can’t for the fuck of me get to sleep so this probably makes no sense whatsoever.

That being said, I just wanted to let you know you’re certainly not alone in how you’re feeling about those things.

PondScum420 · 2022-02-07T05:57:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

quantumactual · 2022-02-07T16:36:48+00:00

Casual sex is empty, most people will learn.

thelambofdeth · 2022-02-07T12:26:56+00:00

So much trolling lol. "Oh noes reddit, I have to much of the casual sex and wimmez luv me, halp!" Smh

willgo-waggins · 2022-02-07T06:17:03+00:00

So here is my take and what I have learned. But understand it is my unique viewpoint.

I am 51. I have been in and out of the swing lifestyle for over thirty years. During that time I have taken breaks being married (although one wife and I swung together) and in several varying lengths LTR’s. But I always come back to the lifestyle one way or another when I am single.

I learned a king time ago that I could love people - love women - and not have to be involved with them in a monogamous possessive relationship. As a matter of fact I’m better off not because I eventually get bored. I also have a track record of poor choices so I don’t fully trust my own judgement when it comes to “settling down”.

I’m my most recent first into being single (starting this past July) I first fell back into the lifestyle just to reacquaint with old friends in a comfortable place and also because it obviously provides for regular sex without commitment and also the effort of pick up and closing.

After a month or two I was not feeling it completely. There aren’t as many people involved still because of covid and it was a lot quieter and more cliquish than I remembered. And much more couple oriented. So I ventured out to vanilla spots. Almost immediately I had a very much younger (28h) woman that came up to me one night and was interested in a FWB relationship and liked the fact that I was older and more mature than her previous partners. It was nice for a month and a half but there was little commonality and I finally parted ways. Just at that time I met my first current FWB. She is a bit older (32) and only dates and hangs out with older people the majority of the time. We have a good true friendship beyond the sex and lots in common and share a social group. She is also bisexual and had a plan for us to find Giles to share and wanted to come out with me and explore the swing lifestyle.

I have since met another woman (41) through Bumble who wanted to meet whereupon we hit it off incredibly well and had insane sex our first night together. We have since become a more regular thing and this past weekend spent Friday and Saturday mostly together and both nights. I discovered this weekend that not only is she truly kinky I. All my favorite ways (she an anal girl, is good with fisting, etc) but she told me that she is bisexual, had tried the lifestyle some months back and liked it but that the guy she was dating became weird possessive jealous and she was hoping to find a partner she could enjoy it with. I of course said this looks like a perfect match and I’m your boy. Oh and she is delightful and I would have no problem being together with her if she so desires as well. I also told her about my other friend (who is a ski nut and won’t be available a lot until the season is done) and she was VERY excited to explore the three of us getting together.

So her I am. Looking down the barrel of hay might actually be my dream situation even though if you asked me at the beginning of last year I could have never told you I would be sitting here typing this (having been in at the time a solid and loving vanilla relationship with a wild but very much exclusive woman).

So I’m the end all I can say is that you sought out a casual and open sexual situation for yourself for some deep seated reason. I know others here will say self esteem and personal validation. I call bullshit on generalizations and pat answers like that. I have been fully happy in a monogamous situation and just as happy fucking a different woman not just every night but many time many different ones I a single evening at parties.

And now I can HJ stay say that my first friend I do love and I know she does love me. We trust each other and do not feel the need for possession of one another because we are here and it going anywhere or getting involved with anyone. And my other friend is as open and free spirited as they come and just enjoying her life and we find joy in each other’s company and sexuality.

So allow yourself to find what it kid you really want without others labels and boxes. And see what you end up gravitating to.

2022-02-07T12:52:31+00:00

You're my idol OP. For real, keep trying and trying, maybe one day, your ideal girl friend will pop up in your doorstep. Like me but at least you'll do better haha

Voltz_got_a_potato · 2022-02-07T12:11:35+00:00

I've always wanted a relationship and being my age with inexperience burdens in some way. I know what I want and it is to stay away from casual sex (not the story for all). Unfortunately for circumstances in my life and doing uni online has caused a 0% social life whatsoever. I'm here just venting OP but I truly hope you find what you are looking for and I'm on the same boat in terms of my hopes.

2022-02-07T14:34:42+00:00

to be honest man, i feel you there. its the hormone monster screeching loudly after the dry spell. you want a girlfriend? hey fantastic! you can work on that! my method was calm and steady, but its also a pain to balance the want for casual sex with the need to build an intimate relationship. love will happen you just gotta let it happen. forcing it will push it back further. i made my attempts thru, of all places, on Plenty of Fish. i got lucky sure, but that's how i did it. also you need PATIENCE.

PuroPincheGains · 2022-02-07T14:42:20+00:00

Then do it?

SithLordJediMaster · 2022-02-07T15:35:46+00:00

Then get a girlfriend

Squez360 · 2022-02-07T16:57:08+00:00

How have you been meeting single women to have sex with? I cant even find one

ArtofWar2020 · 2022-02-07T17:26:03+00:00

Women love a man who has an abundance. If you want a gf instead of meaningless sex, then you should be using dating how it is intended, to screen women for qualities you are looking for. If you can’t find gf material, you might need to be more selective in who you’re picking up

2022-02-07T17:35:52+00:00

Suffering from success

wolfbee16 · 2022-02-07T22:32:11+00:00

Sums up my experience. Went from believing having sex a lot would solve my issues. Only now realized what I actually wanted was someone to have a meaningful relationship with. Went from ~7 - 50+ in a lil over a year and was enjoying it until I wasn’t. Just endless meaninglessness sex. Now after many dates I tell girls I don’t do hookups. Quite the switch up!

rudebwoy100 · 2022-02-07T22:44:30+00:00

Maybe you're monogamous by nature, who knows. I'm naturally an introvert and don't value people constantly being in my life so casual sex and a variety of women is what i gravitate towards.

2022-02-08T00:46:00+00:00

I've known this since day 1 of getting into game. I want human connection. Sex is great, but it's only just one part of the good that can come out of dating. My favorite part of dating is the getting to know the other person and sharing hobbies w/ them (some of my first gf's main hobbies are still my hobbies to this day... each person you date introduces you to new things you otherwise might not have discovered). It's also nice to have someone you can speak to about deep things and keep it real with. I'm not even saying I'm trying to have a ltr with every girl I go out with, but that doesn't mean it can't be an enganging fwb situation where we do more than just fuck.

Sup3rHD · 2022-02-08T11:46:29+00:00

1 girl is enough

Title	I feel like this abundance of sex is not what I wanted
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	167
Comments	75
Date	February 7, 2022 4:43 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/smhg1w/i_feel_like_this_abundance_of_sex_is_not_what_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-feel-like-this-abundance-of-sex-is-not-what-i.1267350 https://theredarchive.com/post/1267350

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