I am really scared of cold approaching women

mabden · 2022-01-16T20:42:01+00:00

What's the worst that can happen?

She's a crazy person and kills you?

She's a paranoid person and pepper sprays you?

She's a mean person and yells at you?

She's a shy person and runs away from you?

She's in a committed relationship and says no thanks to you?

She's single but not interested?

She's a lesbian?

She's a polite person and accepts that you are interested in her and starts a conversation?

Or... she is any combination of the above.

The bottom line factor is that you will not know until you set aside your fears , accept that anything can happen, and the only way to find out is go talk to the girl.

Embrace the fear. Turn it excitement. Give her the opportunity to meet you.

FakeSafeWord · 2022-01-16T23:32:45+00:00

People are hurting for friendships/companionship right now.

I just quietly sat next to a moderately attractive chick in a quiet part of this bar because I wanted to concentrate on a text message exchange with a friend and she just started chatting me up. I didn't even initiate and when she did I apologized and asked if it was cool I sit here for a minute where it's quiet. Ended up chatting for the rest of the night.

People want to be swept off of their feet and you're denying them that with your cowardice!

WolfKina · 2022-01-16T19:49:04+00:00

First, you need to get comfortable starting conversations with people in general. Try making small talk with people on the streets, stores, etc. Learn how to use situational cues to open someone. Then, build it up by approaching women you don't find attractive, then women you find somewhat attractive, and finally the ones you really want to get.

Cold approaching is a skill that takes time and practice to master.

Good luck!

RuncleGrape · 2022-01-16T20:22:56+00:00

You could just face your fears and approach a woman and just ask them for directions or some low risk question just to get used to approaching. Or take the plunge and talk to a woman with the goal of getting rejected so you can experience it and realize that it's not that bad and that you will get over the rejection very quickly.

If you ruminate over every single failure, you will only create paralyzing anxiety. Let things go, and learn from your mistakes but have the courage to move on with your life. Leave the past in the past and keep pushing yourself into uncomfortable territory. You will see that you're much more resilient than you think.

Stickrbomb · 2022-01-17T00:18:24+00:00

They are just people too. Don't put them on a pedestal

Calamity__Bane · 2022-01-17T05:28:13+00:00

I have no clue how I am going to combat it.

That fear is your best friend. Why? Because the fear is the source of tension, and tension is the source of sexual polarity. In fact, leaning into the tension is at least half of what flirting and escalation involve, and the more comfortable you get with pushing into it, the more seductive you'll be.

So, the next time you're getting IOIs, and you feel that little buzz in your stomach, instead of turning your energy away, turn it toward her. Instead of trying to avoid eye contact or proximity, lean into the proximity, give a smile and a wave, and invite her into a conversation. If she says no, you lose nothing. If she says yes, then you've got the green light to keep going. Do this a few times, and it'll be obvious that even a hard no is far from the end of the world.

theseoulplayer · 2022-01-17T06:57:44+00:00

The other day I made a video with a 3 step process to help shier guys and introverts begin approaching women. The best part is that it's incredibly simple and anyone can do it.

Step 1: Start waving at people you see whenever you're out in public. Nothing over the top, just a simple hand wave, maybe even a hi. It also doesn't matter who it is, not just attractive women. The old lady walking her dog? Wave and hi. Old dude drinking out of a paper bag? Sure, give a wave. That's all.

Step 2: Once you've done Step 1 for a while, you'll realize that people aren't all that scared or creeped out by you. Now turn it into a game. I call it Sweet or Sour. If you wave and they wave back, they're sweet. If not, they're sour. No big deal either way. If they are sweet, walk over and just say hi to them. "How's it going?" "Are you having a good day?" Then high five (or fist bump or whatever and leave. That's it. Just a one or two sentence interaction, then go on about your day. They already waved back, so at least you know they're not scared of you.

Step 3: Keep doing Steps 1 and 2, but now you're going to start adding more conversation. This can be one more question than before, it can be a whole conversation, anything you want. Then if your brain freaks out and you feel like ejecting, you already know what to do. High five, say have a great day, and go on about your way.

That's it. Very simple. This process will help you overcome your fear of talking to strangers and will develop your social skills in a 'safe' and stress-free way. Hopefully this helps!

Allaiyah · 2022-01-16T19:18:02+00:00

Just remember, repeated looks from women is literally how they cue you in that they are interested. They are not going to cold approach you. Just relax, they're human. Take the hint and go say hi, see what happens.

guataballin · 2022-01-17T02:37:16+00:00

Bro were all scared but use that fear and just think of all the possibilities. this might be outdated but my favorite RSD guy was Max and he always said that you are the shit and anything from there is a bonus. you get rejected that's a bonus because now you can move on, they give you their number, bonus. fear holds you back because your mind is tricking you and telling you you aren't good enough or that embarrassment will kill you but none of that is true. as i type i think the real issue is how do you view yourself? practice saying mantras to yourself. really put yourself in the mindset that you are allowed here. you are allowed to fail because failing is a part of everything and a major part of growing as a person.

Phoenix69NYC · 2022-01-17T01:26:00+00:00

I totally understand how you feel... I spent my whole life feeling like this. Finally, at 48, I decided not to die a guy who was afraid to say hi to a girl. I started studying materials and literally FORCED myself to approach. It was not easy... But soon I started getting results I DID NOT expect! Keep in mind, at 48 I was approaching chicks in their 20s. Now at 52 (I do look quite younger) I have helped many friends break their own fears. However, since the virus I have not done much and now retreated back to ground zero... Approach anxiety in full force... The difference is that I just don't give two fucks! I know I did it before and am about to enjoy myself once again! It's all in the attitude, man! Stop caring about outcomes and just enjoy the journey, rejections and all!

One tip that helped me is try to find a friend with whom you can go out to do pickup. This will be a different experience, and as long as you guys remain detached from outcomes, you will have a great time. The more you enjoy yourself, the more you will relax and soon start to get better results. Be authentic, let go of attachments, and have fun!

Superb-Bank9899 · 2022-01-16T23:32:37+00:00

When approaching pretend you are just approaching another guy to be friends with. Tell yourself that no matter what nothing is going to happen so you can just be concentrate on being friends.

When you do approach make the staring a joke / come on so something like this, "I am sorry for the stare, but it has been a while since I have seen a woman who is as beautiful as you are and I might do it again." This will apologize for past transgressions and any weirdness that might come up, while keeping things light and comical. All while giving her a compliment. During the pandemic I have read one of those pick up artist books not for I want to become a sleazy lounge lizard person, but people say the best teacher is experience. I don't have time, energy or money to go visit 100 bars trying to interest ladies when I would probably just sit there in silence. I can read books and on here though and learn from their successes and failures. The real thing is just to remember to have fun!

DROP_TABLE_Users_lol · 2022-01-16T23:57:26+00:00

I used to be like that. I dealt with it in extremes. Go buy a bag of ring pops. And go out to a carnival or festival or a coffee shop or whatever or somewhere with a lot of people. Give heartfelt ring pop proposals to women. Once you get 5 women to say yes you will be over your fear.

ElPincheUser · 2022-01-17T00:27:44+00:00

I have the same problem man im 22 and i feel like at this point in my life i shouldnt be scared of approaching women to talk to them. I know im not a creep but its definitely hard to get over that initial fear of rejection/fear of embarrassing yourself.

Carpsonian22 · 2022-01-17T00:55:51+00:00

Women feel the exact same way. I have just started approaching men and OMG is it nerve wracking. I always think, well what if I read the signals wrong and then I look like an idiot. Also, the more attractive they are the harder it is. I relate so much to you saying you’ll leave the situation because I do the same thing and I’m not even the one expected to make the first move lol

baddog992 · 2022-01-17T01:15:47+00:00

My approach is to talk to them like they are a long lost friend I haven't seen in some time. So I make eye contact, I flirt, I joke around. I try and see if they mind if I get close to them with my hands or arms. If you think they are already friendly its much easier to talk to someone. Thats my approach.

blitzer65 · 2022-01-17T01:25:15+00:00

booze always helps

2022-01-17T02:43:58+00:00

From my experience...walking up to a woman and being honest and just asking her out is best. Shows courage and that you have some confidence.

I also believe its a lost art. So by doing it in person gives you lots of points with the woman. Yes it's scary and can be nerve racking, but thats the point. It means it's real. I may be wrong but I feel like a woman would want you to approach her respectfully in person. A girl would be ok with you trolling her social media account. Take that with a grain of salt though. Different females are ok with different scenarios.

Ysfysfd · 2022-01-17T09:26:14+00:00

Read up on rejection therapy by Jia Jiang. Exposure is the best way to overcome your fear

rinyfo4 · 2022-01-17T16:11:56+00:00

You don’t have to ask her to marry you. Ask for a lighter. Or where the nearest coffee shop is. Or “what time is it? I lost my phone.” Start easy! It starts to flow then…

2022-01-17T16:28:14+00:00

Why worry? What do you have to lose? I mean as long as your ejaculate is clean you are just as good as all these Jim-Jim’s in this town!

IamRocksteady · 2022-01-16T20:14:10+00:00

The only way you will ever get over your fear of cold approaching, is by doing it. You can start small, by complementing women or using indirect openers, like asking for time, directions, opinions etc.

DakiAge · 2022-01-17T05:34:05+00:00

You need to increase your self confidence.

bestbudintown · 2022-01-16T21:39:57+00:00

Its not gonna kill ya, you got this!

AndreKnows · 2022-01-16T23:04:06+00:00

Sounds like you are scary of something that you have never truly done before. The idea might be scary, especially in public, but its way easier than you think if you actually start doing it. It will take you some days to get used to it, but after this rough initial stage it will get easier, especially if you approach in a smart way

Adventurous_Card_144 · 2022-01-16T19:37:22+00:00

Cold approach is not for everyone bro. If you do good with online game and you are ok, that's fine keep at it.

samcheatah · 2022-01-16T22:15:50+00:00

https://youtu.be/oa9x9njpZ88

I made a speech about getting confident doing this. Not selling anything. You will hear about my story in the vid. For 3 years I approached strangers until I finally had my breakthrough. Hope this helps and motivates you bro

2022-01-17T05:03:57+00:00

There’s a reason Russian porn scene is booming. Grab a bottle at your nearest store, drink the whole thing and you’ll be cold approaching like the worlds going to end.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-01-16T23:34:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I am really scared of cold approaching women
Author	Yuva0
Upvotes	104
Comments	47
Date	January 16, 2022 7:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s5it1b/i_am_really_scared_of_cold_approaching_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-really-scared-of-cold-approaching-women.1268920 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268920

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