How to create sexual tension?

NarwhalPrestigious · 2021-11-07T07:50:57+00:00

Be confident in yourself and how you talk, Tease them, be funny, body language. She should be touching you and staring into your soul constantly. If the chemistry is there, the sexual tension should be there. Add in some sexual innuendo jokes here and there. Youre probably not showing intent enough through your body language and how you talk. It comes natural if the girl is attracted to you. She will make it easy for you

hooperchamp · 2021-11-07T13:31:21+00:00

I've always had the same problem, here's what helped me. Just start doing these and see how they feel (at first they will feel very unnatural and awkward because your gauge for healthy natural tension is way off right now):

Never nod your head to her speech. Ever
Respond after a few beats of blank->curious stare. with more silence in between than youre used to. it will create tension.
Don't over compliment (especially about her looks) or agree with everything she says.
in general get comfortable with air in the conversation, just like you do with people you know really well and are comfortable with. in dating this is more rare though, as anxiety and nervousness prompt people to fill all air gaps as a fear response.
again, take your time responding and find more opportunities to offer differing opinions, viewpoints, etc. No matter who it is, you should always have points of debate, differing preferences, and views, and this is what makes any relationship interesting, fun, mystifying, insatiable.
just the word "why" automatically triggers subtle defensiveness in the other (there's your tension) but never sound accusatory or vehement since it's already imbedded in the word. respond to her speech with the same few seconds of silence then ask her "why do you like that." maintain a curious and open vibe though - don't ask why with a grimace or a chip on your shoulder. this could and should also be prime grounds for teasing, which should be one of your primary undertones throughout all of this.
don't over smile. this isn't calling for being overly serious though. smiling releases the tension, so build tension, release, repeat. tease. its fun. don't be a dick and taunt. taunting is what douche pickle bros do because they know they're douche pickles. teasing prompts her to feel more comfortable with being fully herself eventually, not the other way around.
try to communicate more with your eyes. this can go terribly wrong at first when you're trying too hard but try to get better at it. its much more meaningful, romantic, and even mystical. if you're geniunely enchanted by her than try to internalize it and then let it come through your eyes. jesus, don't overdo it though.

probably forgot some but you get the gist, hope it helps. start with no nodding and more silence and just take it from there

klippklar · 2021-11-07T19:31:10+00:00

I addition to what's been said here already. When creating sexual tension, there's a few basic behavioural principles at play: You wanna be open, non-defensive, tongue in cheek, confident, self-amused, flirtatious, playful and a little silly.

Imagine sexual tension as a knob that you can turn up and down just like a thermostat. When you turn the knob up you smooth out, slow down, introduce pauses, gaze into her eyes and get a bit closer. You can play with that knob however you like (wink wink). Create that moment when you gaze into each others eyes for just a jiffy too long so that the air noticeably thickens.

Create barriers on why you two couldn't possibly be a good fit. It's good at creating tension because it shows confidence, non-needieness and creates that little subplot or fantasy. Try to create many of such subplots or fantasies. Introduce situations in which you can show your confidence is at least on par with hers. Accuse her of being in love with her. Purposefully misinterpret what she says. You basically want her to hit your arm, it's the best response you can possibly get. That's when you know you're in.

Last but not least touch. As social beings we all crave touch and if you don't hurdle the touch barrier and escalate touch you're not gonna come off as very confident and it will make all sexual tension meaningless. First off start touching from the very beginning and with everyone. Touch your friends more, be really comfortable with touch. Be so comfortable with touch that you make her feel comfortable with touch. Start with nonsexual touch like arms shoulders when you make a point. Then climb the ladder. Two steps forward one step back. High-five, thumb-wrestle, back of hands touching, hugging ambivalent touches, and then later clearly romantic touches like holding hands. Be confident with kissing, don't ever be disappointed when she rejects one. It doesn't mean she doesn't wanna kiss you just that she doesn't want to kiss you right now, then again there's a multitude of reasons why. Sometimes a girl doesn't kiss you solely to see how you can handle the rejection. I've had many dates that refused the first kiss and later ended up kissing me after seeing rejection doesn't bother me. I've had dates that I kissed one minute into a date just to get it out the way (and everything worked fine in the end). As a rule of thumb, if she's eager to hold you're hands she's gonna be likely willing to kiss you aswell. Be the first to stop touches, never linger on them. Don't look at your hands when touching.

Bottom line: Trust in your gut feeling, lead with emotion.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-11-07T10:50:55+00:00

Basically Hit on Her. Talking with a girl with the intention of creating attraction isn’t just about having nice chats about school or your holiday plans or about a movie.

It’s about making feel sexually desired, (aka hitting on her) it’s about showing your sexual intent, telling her she is special and different from other girls and how that makes her so sexy in your eyes, or how you can’t concentrate when she smiles like that, or how she is making your heart pump faster when she is close to you or touches you…

It’s about expressing that to create sexual tension, so if she gets a friendly feeling is because what i just said, you don’t ever try to create sexual tension, you just continue to create rapport or affinity, rather than sexual tension.

You keep talking about how your day was, how school or work was, or how this movie was so good, or what happened to your mum, or whatever happened in tv, and that creates affinity or rapport with her, but not sexual tension because you are never showing her you actually are into her, you never are expressing your sexual desire, thus she gets a friendly vibe from you.

FairAnalyst · 2021-11-07T13:01:37+00:00

Sure you can follow instructions on how to ‘create sexual tension’ like doing stuff like getting closer to her or making laser ec contact or teasing her.

But it’s better (and easier) to shift your mindset to feeling that sexual tension yourself and you’ll naturally project it/vibe it. Like when you look a chick in the eyes feel a sexual connection.

Chicks are essentially emotional mirrors, if you’re fun around a chick she starts having fun, if you’re high energy she’s high energy. The same goes for sexual tension.

Ideally you should be opening chicks with sexual tension from the outset - it’s not something you wait later on to do. A lot women’s interest triggers if she feels sexual interest or not. Making a girl think you’re a funny guy is not as effective for pulling chicks as much as the guy she feels sexual tension with.

Blackmetalpenguin90 · 2021-11-07T15:02:10+00:00

Well it really depends on your style. But for example I usually do things like, in the middle of her talking about something unrelated, I'll stare deep into her eye and compliment something about her looks (stay with the face at that point though lol). Just little sparks of sexual interest that spice up a normal friendly conversation and make it exciting. Too little of these and it's boring, too much and she'll feel like you only want to fuck her and probably move along.

TheRiverOfDyx · 2021-11-07T09:19:14+00:00

Consider dating as a dance THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH. Talking is a dance, and your moves always come out best when you’re being yourself. Dance how YOU dance, not how you think someone wants you to.

Sex too. Do sex how you’re gonna sex, ask her how she wants it by leading with your hands, she’ll shift her body and move yours where she wants you - or she’ll tell you. Make SUGGESTIONS is a better tip, say it seductively, watch for signs of agreement. Try a whisper, but instead of it all being breath and no voice, add your voice more than breath, splash a little bit of breath in there, make suggestions in her ear. The breath will tickle the ear, the bassy whisper will tingle her head. If she doesn’t like that feeling, she’ll tell you. Keep that voice away from her ear then, and if you want to whisper, blow it across her ear about a half inch to the side of her ear lobe, not into her ear.

Sometimes she’ll want something, and you can tell because its like she’s holding back saying something - ask her “you look like you want to say something?” “What is it? You don’t have to be shy with me, we’re both naked together, you can say it.” “Would you rather whisper it to me?” All of these offer an open invitation rather than trying to guess what she wants. You still can, but its harder to admit than to “secretly” whisper your deep intimate desires with your partner.

Women understand emotions way differently than guys. Women FEEL all of it. Guys generally suppress them for the most part, releasing occasionally. So women are going to feel very nervous when doing this, where a guy might be nervous but he has less trouble talking than he does doing the deed - likely because he feels its a performance. There’s no judge to perform for, either of you, there is only the dancers dancing in their Hall with a bed.

So lead the dance, fool. Be confident. All guys lead the dance, its how it goes. She doesn’t like how you dance, well that’s a her problem, or you’re doing something she doesn’t want and continue to do so. If you do so against her, shame on you. If you do so and she’s trying to force you to do something else - as a person through Life - and its something you’re not gonna change, then that’s her problem. Relationships are easy, man, just think how you wanna be treated.

Think gay thoughts for a moment: If you were this girl, how would you wanna be fucked by the man standing before you? Would you want him timid and shy? Or intentional, yet gentle? Rough, yet graceful? Use both your hands SEPARATELY of each other. Both control the top, then one is on the bottom half, eventually both are down there, sometimes one goes back up if requested. Do ANYTHING with your hands, it probably feels good. There are some areas it feels better, and under certain circumstances, it feels better in another - its all about energy. If you play video games, this is MAP CONTROL.

Everything is control. So control this girl, let her be the overriding decision with consent - same for your body, you’re just a backseat driver in her “fucktoy” of a man right now, same as her. You hold the wheel, she’s “steering” the car in your lap. Hi-ho daddio! Same for her, but girls don’t enjoy steering the wheel out of the get go, she’ll have to want to do that - she’s gotta build up to it.

Hope this helps. Got a bit rambly

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-11-07T20:52:52+00:00

Holy Grail: Listen up all my dudes. Here is the key to understanding women verbally/nonverbal & sexually. Women are like inductive amplifiers, meaning they send out an electrical current and if they encounter other current they allow energy transference and they amplify that energy/current back. What the hell does all of that mean? It means whatever YOU are feeling and projecting at her will be picked up by her and if her body accepts it, will share that energy and amplify it back at you. Pay attention, this part's important: if you project feelings of friendship at her she will transfer that energy back at you. If you talk about her brother you will, in effect, kill her lady-boner. If you bore her with talk about peace or saving the rain forest you will NOT be projecting sexual attraction! (You know, the feelings you want her to project back at YOU!!!) If she's on a date with you she already likes you so bury that shit and get.to.work! Get to work increasing her buying temperature by telling her how incredibly hot & bothered she's making you! (you know, the feelings you want her to project back at you!). Tell her how tough it is trying not to kiss her soft luscious lips!(you know, the feelings you want her to project back at you!). Tell her how sexy she is and how difficult it is for you to not rip her clothes off and passionately...(you know, the feelings you want her to project back at you!). Is this beginning to sink in??? Caveat: use appropriate language to convey this energy in an articulate & classy manner or else you come across as a sex starved frat bro. Seduce her mind with words and that James Bond look of hunger in your eyes. This next part may be incredibly difficult for most beginners but you must conquer this feeling: NEVER be embarrassed or ashamed of your sexual hunger. Don't apologize for it. Don't make excuses for it. Own it. Be proud of it. You want to fuck her. She knows it. You know it. What ruins the dance is if you are in any way, shape or form uncomfortable with your sexual appetite. Confident men know they are horny and deserve to fuck women they desire and never feel bad about having these completely natural inclinations. She wants to be consumed by your passionate appetites. She wants you to take her pleasure to areas she's never experienced before. BONUS TIP: Every square millimeter of a woman is an erogenous zone, IF ....you project sexual energy towards it! For all my nerd brothers out there go rewatch Han Solo rub Leia's hands and almost kiss her before C3PO interrupts. THAT is textbook sexual projection. His lowered voice, eye contact, owning his sexual appetites and not being apologetic about it. His frame wins her over and she's surrendering to him because he leads the interaction and she trusts where he is taking her. That is your template with seducing women. EXTRA BONUS TIP: Watch Johnny Depp in Don Juan Demarco seduce the married woman in the restaurant. Same energy. Give women that energy to pick up on and amplify back at you. Happy hand-touching, my Dudes!

great_account · 2021-11-08T02:19:59+00:00

It didn't matter what you say, just try to minimize the distance. Try to touch her start with the knees and shoulders and SLOWLY progress. She should feel like you really want to kiss her. The biggest secret about women is that want to be wanted, they just want it to be done respectfully. If you can balance the desire and respectfulness, you can create a sexual vibe.

RedWolff98 · 2021-11-07T13:21:13+00:00

Creating tension is creating conflict in a fun way, flirting, disagreeing, not falling into the trap that so many do on dates of asking 100 lame boring questions. Girls don’t go crazy for the guy who just asks about the day the weather and work…..ho mchumdrum.

humptyone · 2021-11-08T11:51:35+00:00

Take the batteries out of her vibrators

The_Sir_Galahad · 2021-11-07T20:40:44+00:00

OP don't think to much about it, the comments I'm reading are going WAY too much into depth in bullshit.

Be yourself, whatever you think say it. Don't be correct either, if you curse then curse, if you don't curse don't curse. If you disagree with something said or don't like an opinion, say it. If you think she looks good say that.
Listen. Girls love talking about themselves. If it's funny, laugh. Have a good mix of listening, asking questions and also speaking about yourself.
This is the only advice I'd say to be conscious of, talk slowly. Don't talk too fast, or be wirey...talk slower and look her in the eyes when you're talking to her. Just have good interesting conversation that doesn't fall too much into boring work, business or politics.
Touch her. A nudge, shoulder embrace, hug...if she doesn't even like you touching her on the shoulder, she's not attracted to you enough. But if you notice when you talk to her, she's genuinely laughing at what you're saying and smiling...kiss her.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2021-11-07T15:40:04+00:00

laser eye contact

rememberedthemoney · 2021-11-08T00:21:05+00:00

It's the mood listen be intrigued pay attention to her but don't come off as a friend use your eyes look at her lips or neck. It like your looking at her as a meal you can devour her with your eyes it's the moment that does it. Smell, how they move and the way you talking what creates the tension.

Jdaddyk07 · 2021-11-07T15:47:29+00:00

Okay, so tension is all about hold, build, release.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkfi4Ynv2_w

The intro to this song does a great job with tension and release. Also, its a cool ass song =)

Tension is in the silence. Have you ever been in a situation where someone asks you something and you respond. But they say nothing and you get nervous and start fidgeting and stumbling over your words?

You want to create a situation where she starts fumbling and getting nervous. Simply, you could just give her a compliment ("You look amazing in that shirt"), then say nothing, make eye contact with her and look her up and down without saying anything. Then after 3-5 seconds continue on with the conversation.

You'll have to do some trial and error with this, but practice making a statement and then keeping eye contact with her while being silent. Once you get good at this, it is a great way to build tension and control conversations.

Artsics · 2021-11-07T23:13:48+00:00

What works for me is calm fun conversation (pauses in the conversation before replying), lots of loooong eye contact and having sexy thoughts while talking. I often ask myself how she would look naked or how she would seduce me or me seducing her.

MissMabeliita · 2021-11-08T02:46:26+00:00

I don’t think that’s something you create, it just happens… I’m being zero helpful, sorry but it’s what it is. It will happen naturally with some people and not others and that’s fine, if you force it, it won’t be as good as you wish.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-11-08T04:13:08+00:00

Get naked

kermitkermitted · 2021-11-08T07:29:29+00:00

fish

klippklar · 2021-11-07T12:20:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

stormisurprise · 2021-11-07T14:05:37+00:00

Can’t really create sexual tension, like chemistry.

Congrats on your date though, keep on trying.

Confidence is key

alanxito1998 · 2021-11-07T14:50:01+00:00

Be goodlooking.

Havregrot2000 · 2021-11-07T21:53:03+00:00

Stop being a nice guy of that's what you are doing Integrity and confidence is a basic requirement for all ladies. Being passionate about something. During your conversations, ask questions and make her feel important - while at the same time disagree with things you have a different opinion of.

Sexual tension is a rope that both need to keep stretched.

Kobe_curry24 · 2021-11-08T00:27:25+00:00

Good post but to make it simple you gotta get good with tension and make things sexual by using touch and closeness Pat stedman is great for this he’s on Twitter

FoxxyNanners · 2021-11-08T00:51:32+00:00

Youtube search "Zan Perrion" and "Brian Begin" (21 Studios youtube channel)

Sufficient-Cry-9163 · 2021-11-08T01:04:15+00:00

I think its just there or it isn't. It's created by spending time together repeatedly without having sex.

oiamo123 · 2021-11-08T03:24:43+00:00

A calm demeanor, smiling, eye contact, and teasing go a long way 👍

Emotional investment is also an important factor. Too much can come off as desperate which is a turn off.

Title	How to create sexual tension?
Author	MrMCalavera
Upvotes	204
Comments	88
Date	November 7, 2021 7:31 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qojmmj/how_to_create_sexual_tension/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-create-sexual-tension.1272806 https://theredarchive.com/post/1272806

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