Is it normal for a man in his 20’s to not like casual sex/ hookups?

HowDoesOneSex · 2017-10-19T10:46:03+00:00

It depends on your upbringing and personality. Everyone is different. I'm 20 and I've only been in long term relationships. You're not alone.

themerinator12 · 2017-10-19T13:28:01+00:00

You do you man.

Bogart86 · 2017-10-19T14:40:28+00:00

Catch a dick cold one time and you'll feel like that for sure

funnyfaceguy · 2017-10-19T11:15:28+00:00

Yeah, I mean I do hookups but aren't particularly fond of them. Would much rather have something emotionally fulfilling.

faxfinn · 2017-10-19T13:25:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2017-10-19T16:17:49+00:00

I like hooking up, but I’m more of a relationship guy.

Not crazy about the amount of work texting and gaming multiple women. I have a busy life.

Not_unique_enuf · 2017-10-19T13:38:52+00:00

Yes.

2017-10-19T17:25:27+00:00

Is it normal for me to go to work 20 minutes earlier than I need to just to drink a pint or 2 of the communal milk? No but I do it anyway because I like depriving others.

Smexsi · 2017-10-19T13:49:38+00:00

Yes its normal.

LIONTAMERRR · 2017-10-19T15:21:48+00:00

Same here and many people would risk STD and HIV so more for them. I want know part of it. I’d rather meet girls and flirt or mess around but if somehow we end up in sex then I wouldn’t mind. But I’m not that kind of dude either

kdubs7277 · 2017-10-19T13:33:09+00:00

Definitely, there's nothing wrong with that. Hookups get to be boring real fast, it's way more fun to be with someone and get to know their bodies and vice versa!

lucifermorningstar7 · 2017-10-19T15:42:52+00:00

"Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex" - some guy

PineappleDung · 2017-10-19T12:37:47+00:00

I have never like hook ups. I had one to try it and felt empty.

2017-10-19T13:30:23+00:00

If you mean hookups where you never see the person again, yeah I don't like that, just no real intimacy.

5baserush · 2017-10-19T16:03:22+00:00

You like what you like. Don't conform because everyone else likes something.

Oro_077 · 2017-10-19T17:55:33+00:00

only if you dont do casual sex because dont feel the necessity, not because you cannot.

mewinstead · 2017-10-20T08:54:38+00:00

Is it possible? Yes. Normal? I don't know
But there's a more glaring problem I see here from this topic and from the response I read.
When answering this question, you have to take a real deep look at yourself and ask yourself "Do I REALLY not like casual sex/hookups, or is it an excuse to not take action?"
Not many would admit, but just like people outside of the seduction community find excuses for their lack of action, often ones like "It's just not who I am, I want true love, not chasing ass. I believe in destiny not this forced shit" people who just set foot in the seduction community and maybe had some discouragement would also find excuses to back out.
What is your motivation to even make this topic? Genuine curiosity? Knowing the answer to the question helps you how?
Or, or are you looking for confirmation that it is OKAY to not take action? Because you are "different" from the usual guys "that just want casual hookups" even though seeking confirmation here shows that you are probably not so different.
In my mind, wanting a long, genuine relationship and working to get good with girls are not mutually exclusive, in fact it is the opposite.
How do you know you're with the girl you're with is not the result of desperation or compromise? How do you know if you are not just telling yourself you adore her clearly off putting character traits because you don't know if you can do better? That you are not in control, that you are insecure about losing that one chance at love so you have to compromise as opposed to looking for someone that really makes you happy?
For me, it's having options. When I am in a long term relationship, I KNOW she is what I am looking for. I don't have to compromise my life style, my ideology, political leanings, or even my nerdy gaming habits.
3 years into my relationship I find myself more and more in love with the girl I chose, and I knew it from the get go. Because I had options, because I learned how to get with girls, to meet a girl and have the capability to talk to her and connect with her, and see if we're compatible, and eventually finding the one which whom I really clicked.
Do you KNOW how rare it is to find someone super compatible with you? I'd be going out 4 days a week and find 2 girls tops that can talk about the weird shit I'm into. If you want to find the diamond in the rough, or the needle in the hay stack, start god damn looking.
If you don't "hookup" with girls, how do you even know if the two of you can achieve mutual pleasure in the bedroom? Or do you REALLY want to settle, tolerate someone who you can't really get along with just because it's a long term relationship and not a casual hookup?

dichra · 2017-10-19T16:55:32+00:00

Maybe you can reformulate your question bro :

Is it normal for a man in his 20's to not like meaningless relationships that are really a matter of pumping up the ego as the numbers grow ?

Westernleaning · 2017-10-19T11:05:21+00:00

Why don’t you like them?

savvyxxl · 2017-10-19T14:08:55+00:00

its pretty empty to me so i dont really go out looking for them

NomNomYoMomma · 2017-10-19T14:55:09+00:00

Normal meaning the average/a majority of males at that age thinks that? Probably not.

Is it socially acceptable or okay? Hell yeah. I don't think most of us are like that but it's no biggie if you want that

sauced03 · 2017-10-19T16:15:04+00:00

I hope so because I'm this way. I feel like if I was more of a pick up artist then more girls would like me though.

No1syB0y · 2017-10-19T16:33:51+00:00

Nope. I've only ever been with one girl in my life. She's been the only one in everything. Im 24.

We're getting marriend in 4 months.

Even before her, I never felt like I needed sex in my life. I don't know if it was because my studies or because I was new to this country (moved to the US in 2005).

HelicopterSack · 2017-10-19T17:23:43+00:00

Depending on your chemistry with the other person it might just end up being mutual masturbation and definitely lacks the emotions of true fullfilling sex.

So nah, you are definitely not crazy because of that

moontripper1246 · 2017-10-19T18:02:23+00:00

I'd question how you're doing it and what your complaints are.

everythings-awkward · 2017-10-19T19:01:22+00:00

I'm not into it. I think I'm into it until I get there.. then I'm not. To each their own

positiveinfluences · 2017-10-19T19:02:14+00:00

Is it normal that I'd like that but can't do it?

Jaereth · 2017-10-19T19:50:56+00:00

Yeah i'd say it's pretty abnormal. I think the guys that always say "I don't like hookups" couldn't have one even if they wanted to.

Everyone loves sex, and at that age your T is through the roof!

breakingtree · 2017-10-19T22:18:52+00:00

Yeah it is. Confused the shit out of me for a while. I finally learnt how to take beautiful girls home and I was bored as hell once our clothes were off. Heart wants what the heart wants, Bro.

Pureevil1992 · 2017-10-19T23:34:58+00:00

Pickup isn't only about casual sex. It's about being good enough in your abilities to get women to be able to choose. You can't decide you want a relationship when you can't even get one.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-10-20T01:41:08+00:00

You didn't post anything. Just a title. Next time, do that, because you've told us next to nothing about your situation.

But, as to your question, who gives a fuck what others are doing? If you don't want casual encounters, then don't fucking have them.

Fuck normal. What do you want? Go with that.

2017-10-20T02:58:44+00:00

Just because everyone around you is into casual sex and you feel like you're a deviation from 'the norm doesn't mean it's not a normal feeling. Honestly, I've only ever had sex with all the women I've been with once or a few times. Have to say the effort I sink into each of those casual flings is effort I could have winked into my career/personal life and it upsets me to know I didn't and continue to make the wrong choice.

LTRs have a place, whether they're open or not.

YudaDikfa · 2017-10-20T05:44:43+00:00

Totally normal.

thatcatwhisperer · 2017-10-20T06:48:59+00:00

There really is no normal. Everyone leads life at their own pace and in their own timeline with their own decisions and their consequences. So, in a sense, yeah it’s normal for a 20 year old to not like casual sex. It is also normal for a 20 year old to like casual sex.

I’m curious, why are you asking this question? By providing more context, perhaps you will find advice that helps you answer your real question if there is one.

Heisenbread77 · 2017-10-19T12:53:43+00:00

I have never done that. I have always been relationship guy. Having just been a fiancé and ending it, I have no interest in being a full time boyfriend anymore. I am in monk mode self improving at the moment but when I emerge I have no idea what I am going to become. The thought of hooking up with women- well if she is hooking up with me it's very likely she has hooked up with others, maybe often, and not really keen on that idea.

But you are not strange...

Questionnaire7 · 2017-10-19T14:42:23+00:00

As a justification for why girls wont sleep with him: yes its very normal. If you are honest with what your biology tells you to do and are against using a crutch to feel better than its very strange.

bigflexy · 2017-10-19T17:49:19+00:00

cpoter · 2017-10-19T21:45:23+00:00

My mom and I just debated this issue with PUA Arash Dibazar. He thinks all men want to hook up with as many women as possible. We disagree. Here's our reaction video: https://youtu.be/To4UasFODTw

atlantic68 · 2017-10-19T18:03:21+00:00

No. Weirdo

2017-10-19T16:22:11+00:00

Frosty_Nuggets · 2017-10-19T14:13:02+00:00

If you don’t like to have sex with women, you might be gay. Just sayin’.

Title	Is it normal for a man in his 20’s to not like casual sex/ hookups?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	123
Comments	80
Date	October 19, 2017 10:42 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/77dlb0/is_it_normal_for_a_man_in_his_20s_to_not_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-normal-for-a-man-in-his-20s-to-not-like.1304170 https://theredarchive.com/post/1304170

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