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[–]LlsworthToohey 355 points356 points357 points 12 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
They might make your tits look big.
[–]Gippy88 39 points40 points41 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fucking genius.
[–]surfinfan21 19 points20 points21 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I just might get hand reduction surgery just to use this line.
[–]jimbojonesFA 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I suppose it could work with any Dick size comments you might get. But if you have a large penis, congratulations.
[–]BirdmanGSO 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
shit test comeback of all time lol! try that, seriously!
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Magical
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
how do i say that in german ? ^
[–]Sandkasten 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
"Groß genug für deine Brüste"
[–]sokubaku 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nasty.
[–]agraergeardg 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's Big enough for your breasts, not They might make your tits look big
[–]Sandkasten 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't like the original version because it sounds like an insult. This is more a playful/teasing version. Just my two cents.
[–]espanolprofesional11 points 12 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Vielleicht werden sie deine Brüste groß aussehen lassen.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sweet dude, now let me see if i can improve on this:
"Schoen, vielleicht werden damit deine Brüste groß aussehen."
can we get a confirmation or an improvement?
[–]Tofabyk 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"Damit Deine Brüste größer wirken." no vielleicht = maybe.
[–]BurningPixel 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Except if you pronounce it in a cocky way
[–]therealtman 41 points42 points43 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This thread is full of horrible advice. If you get angry, call her out or make fun of one of her features, all it does is show just how insecure you really are. It's ok to laugh at yourself sometimes. Woman like confidence. I would chuckle, then smile and say something like you should've seen them in high school they were half this size, then change the subject. A witty comeback won't make your hands bigger, you've got to be comfortable with yourself.
[–]livinglogic 17 points18 points19 points 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
A witty comeback won't make your hands bigger, you've got to be comfortable with yourself.
Precisely, especially not pre-meditated combacks, because you'll just end up looking for reasons to use them, likely subconsciously directing the conversation towards your own insecurities.
Fuck it, some men have bitch tits, some men have chicken legs, some men have no hair, some men have hairy backs, etc. Own your imperfections.
[–]librlman 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Get a pair of those tiny hands that Kristin Wiig used for her character on SNL. Use them when she makes a comment about your hands (start stroking her hair or touching her boob with them). Stop letting her push your buttons.
[–]Mr_Zarika 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeh, when someone tries to tease me about features, I reply, "Yeh, it's one of my more adorable quirks."
If they don't let up, I'll ask why they're so interested in me.
If they're genuinely a bully, I don't hang around that person.
[–]dosekis 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Agree and amplify.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is an example of reverting and amplifying. Works great.
[–]Mia88 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And no girl shit tests for hand size. Really?
[–]FuriousMouse 27 points28 points29 points 12 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
"If you rub them, they will grow to an enormous size" show her your hand. She rubs your hands and nothing happens. Smile, Oh, I must be confusing them with something else. Smirk.
[–]BlowfishinThisUp 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yechhh
[+][deleted] -7 points-6 points-5 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
What are you? 15? You get girls like that, not women.
[–]DeterminedToOffend4 points 12 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Almighty all-knowing one, please bestow upon us more of your infinite wisdom; that is, might I add, undeniably and inexcusably true. Thank you for gracing us with your presence in this thread.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Well I wouldn't use such a lame sex joke and the women I want to get with/the women I get with wouldn't find this funny at all. So maybe you're going for a different kind of women idk.
[–]DeterminedToOffend3 points 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow look at that - you CAN articulate your (perfectly valid) point without being a dick to the person you are replying to. Out of curiosity, if you will answer truthfully, what is your age?
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea I admit I was being a dick, I'm sorry, lots of exam stress and I was hating myself for spending time on reddit when I should study. I'm 20. Edit: I guess I was determined to offend
[–]raving971 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask if she remembers the Burger King commercial with the guy with tiny hands holding a whopper. Tell her it's a true story based on your life.
[–]kingcal 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just ignore it. People treat shit tests like they need to be handled with some clever line or back-handed neg about the girl. Shit tests are a girl's way of seeing if you're going to be highly reactive to a comment. A try too hard comment is just as bad as a defensive one. Just say "Okay" and move on with the conversation.
[–]popeyepaul 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like to start comparing hands which is a smooth way to get some kino going. Then you could either say "well, you've got baby hands" or "well, you've got man hands" depending on which way she is.
Just keep it funny and don't let that shit get to you. You don't need a canned line, just have fun out there.
[–]Kirillb85 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All shit tests can be combated with indifference / non reaction. The advise given here to comeback with a joke shows non-reaction and indifference.
The point I am trying to make here is even if you have a comeback, the body language and manner you'll say it in will show her you'e insecure about it. Outgrow it(no pun intended) and you will not need any comeback for it.
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Hiieu 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What if i got small D?
Say "what else do you like about me?"
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandin21 points 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
What if I do have a small penis? Should I avoid clubbing etc, since those girls are out looking for a good lay
The best way to cure an insecurity is to make it a joke. Laugh at the fact that something so miniscule takes hold of your emotions. Crack jokes about how you have "hooves, not hands" or how "dainty" your hands are. It's really not that big of a deal OP.
[–]thehigheststatusmale 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
change the subject. this is the lamest insecurity ive ever heard of.
[–]randombozo 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
not as long as that urban myth "small hands = small dick" is still around.
[–]thehigheststatusmale 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exaggerate and encourage it.
"My dick is tiny!!! Girls use tweezers to get me off!!!"
[–]FleaBitPeanutMonkey 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If I had tiny hands and somebody called me out I'd say, "I know. I can't even eat whoppers with these things" and then seamlessly move on with the conversation.
[–]dplowman 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Usually I go with "You know what they say about small hands.. small gloves" in complete deadpan and give them The Rock eyebrow. Gets a chuckle and changes the subject.
[–]ServingSize 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Compliments of my friend,
but I make fun of his shoe size all the time and he responds, "you know what they say about small feet?"
What?
"An over-compensating dick"
[–]Christafarian 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Remember: a shit test is merely an IOI. She doesn't care about your hands. She cares whether or not you care.
[–]kodozoku 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
her: "hahaa you have small hands"
biting insects now has a million kino options
[–]aalewis____ 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Buy rogaine and apply it over your hands so they get hairy and look more manly.
I have small hands. When people say something about them there's a slight implication about the size of my penis. Now, when a woman brings up my small hands, I just look her directly in the eye and say "It means I have a small penis." Hold my serious face until she laughs at my bluntness, and move the conversation on.
My go to shit-test response is "B*tch, you know you like it" (jokingly)
[+]n1cey -9 points-8 points-7 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
If girls point this out, call them out on how fcking rude that is. And tell them that it's not how you behave in social settings. But the trick is to do this in the correct tone.
"Hey, hey. That's not okey/cool. Do you hear me point out how square formed your head is. Or how freakishly big hands you have."
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]FollowDasFUhrer 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Now i wish i had smaller hands :(
[–]n1cey -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You are allowed to disagree, now try to read my comment again, only with a better and more fun tone.
If a girl points out something unsual about you, it doesn't really matter what her intentions are. It is rude and bad social conduct.
Thats the reason you simply point out that it's not okey to say shit like that, and then you play it off smooth with a tease or a joke.
If she escalate the testing or rudeness, you escalate with your statement.
I do this every day and it works great. But the important thing is your tone.
[–]InvictusRex -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's a terrible idea. Shit tests exist because they want to see if you're okay with yourself. If you get mad or upset and tell them how rude a question that is, then you fail.
As with any shit test, you have two good options. Agree & amplify in a humorous way or just ignore it and continue on.
[–]HappyJerk -5 points-4 points-3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girls won't point this out, and if they do, I would just say "ok, well I can't make them bigger"
[–]StressGuy -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd probably respond with: "I also have small feet and drive a Porsche."
But, I have no idea if that would work. The "tits look big" sounds like a good one to me, unless she obviously has large breasts.
[+][deleted] -12 points-11 points-10 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
how about shutting up and not responding?
[–]Laughing_Jelly_Bean -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's actually not bad advice, although it could have been said better.
If someone tried some obscure insult on me, like "OMG, your middle toe is too long", I'd just look at her like she's crazy and shrug.
[–]lisward -3 points-2 points-1 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They make your dick look big
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[–]LlsworthToohey 355 points356 points357 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gippy88 39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]surfinfan21 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jimbojonesFA 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BirdmanGSO 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sandkasten 8 points9 points10 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]sokubaku 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]agraergeardg 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sandkasten 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]espanolprofesional11 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tofabyk 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BurningPixel 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]therealtman 41 points42 points43 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]livinglogic 17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]librlman 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mr_Zarika 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dosekis 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mia88 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FuriousMouse 27 points28 points29 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlowfishinThisUp 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] -7 points-6 points-5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]DeterminedToOffend4 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DeterminedToOffend3 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]raving971 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kingcal 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]popeyepaul 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kirillb85 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Hiieu 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandin21 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thehigheststatusmale 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]randombozo 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thehigheststatusmale 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FleaBitPeanutMonkey 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dplowman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ServingSize 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Christafarian 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kodozoku 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aalewis____ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]n1cey -9 points-8 points-7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]FollowDasFUhrer 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]n1cey -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]InvictusRex -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HappyJerk -5 points-4 points-3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StressGuy -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] -12 points-11 points-10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Laughing_Jelly_Bean -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lisward -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link