How do you get girls to approach you?

FreelanceSedditor · 2014-02-01T10:27:47+00:00

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2014-02-01T15:58:51+00:00

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2014-02-01T11:14:33+00:00

They will rarely open you.

This_is_skyler · 2014-02-01T14:10:56+00:00

Be someone youd want to meet

gigitygigitygoo · 2014-02-01T14:05:12+00:00

The appearance of being fun, popular, and attractive helps. I remember one instance that didn't turn into anything but was a sticking point for me.

Was late to join friends (guys and girls) at the bar. They were at a high top and one at the bar itself. I came in with a big smile and greeted everyone at the high top and then the bar. I had everyone's attention as I told them about a date I literally just ended before arriving and had them laughing.

Throughout the story I kept noticing a hot girl sitting next to her bf at a booth making eye contact with me. I eventually started winking at her and giving her kissing gestures and she smiled more each time.

That's it. I thought about it afterwards and realized she was obviously bored and I was the guy who everyone liked...she wanted to be a part of that.

Anyways, not really sure how relevant this was but again, I never forgot it and try to duplicate the experience every now and then to develop attraction with those around me. It works and makes them much more responsive to opening.

crosenblum · 2014-02-01T10:25:38+00:00

That's a miracle.

Some have the luck of the blarney or key physical feature that appeals to them, and 99% of the rest of us, will never have that happen to them.

Good luck,.

2014-02-01T13:17:43+00:00

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Big_Apple3AM · 2014-02-01T12:22:01+00:00

Have fun.

A lot of times when I go out, I don't plan on getting girls. I'm really picky, and oftentimes I'll only like 1-3 girls at a party/bar/club. I'm pretty content with not picking up a girl every time I go out, and I don't let that decide whether or not I'm actually having fun. Sure, getting a girl's number is awesome and stuff, but if that's the only reason you're going out, you should reevaluate.

Now, back to having fun and how this pertains to getting girls to approach you? I feel like most of the time I've scored a girl's number has been from having fun and not caring. Girls are attracted to guys that are having fun. I was piss-face drunk last weekend at a party, having a great time with my friends, sit down next to a girl, barely talk to her, and got her number. I've been to clubs dancing like a fool with my friends, and have had girls approach us and ask us to dance with them. I've read posts about "being loud" to attract attention, but that's not what I'm saying. If you and your friends are laughing about something, feel free to laugh loud and enjoy your time.

My advice is always a little bit different than the stuff that's mostly on here, so take it with a grain of salt.

Espada18 · 2014-02-01T14:37:04+00:00

OP, smile at them but don't approach them. They'll eventually strike a conversation if you come across confident enough. The trick is smiling at multiple girls so you don't focus on just one, the less "thirsty" you come across, the higher the possibility of them approaching you. This has constantly worked for me, despite not being the best looking guy around, according to girls I am attractive. I'm guessing its due to the fact that I look after myself, dress well and go to the gym. Confidence is a byproduct of looking after yourself and becoming the best version of yourself. I hope that helped.

ben0wn4g3 · 2014-02-01T15:06:48+00:00

Honestly? Have a gimmick.

Carry a crayola black marker. NOT a sharpie, but crayolas wash off with water. The big thick ones.

Draw a heart on your cheek with it, then keep it in your pocket. Girls will ask you why there is a heart on your cheek, then say that some cougar drew it on there at the last bar and you said that it was OK as long as you can keep the marker, then pull out the marker. Voila, now you and some girl are drawing on each other. Field tested.

Etc. Hunter Thompson used to carry around an air horn and fire flareguns down alleyways at night. This might be overkill, but give people a REASON to approach you and they probably will.

This is the whole concept behind peacocking, but I like stuff like the marker routine as it's more interactive than wearing a fuzzy hat or whatever.

Takarov · 2014-02-01T14:50:27+00:00

Confidence, Social Proof, and Smilling. I've been to a few EDM events and I have fun when I go, but I pretty much need to start anything. Now, the last time I went, I hit those three things hard. I walked in like I couldn't give a fuck (not a douchey, aggressive way, but an independent and confident way), me and my friends talked to a shit ton of people in the middle of things (and had a ton of 2 seconds interactions with other people), and I smiled at every attractive girl I saw. 3 girls came up to dance with me that night.

PatronSaintOfFuckUps · 2014-02-01T17:57:45+00:00

From my experience, 9/10 times the girl who approaches you will not be as attractive as you would prefer. I have girls approach me on occasion, perhaps a couple of times a week, but they are usually the ones I wouldn't approach myself. It's very rare when a legitimately attractive girl approaches a guy after college. Hot girls used to come up to me all of the time in school. After I graduated and entered the real world, it almost never happened. Take heart, my friend, I have had this conversation with other guys who one would consider good looking and they all say the same. Some are actually not doing too well, because they can't overcome the hang-ups and idiosyncrasies that prevent them from initiating a sequence.

Oops_I_Derped · 2014-02-01T19:49:32+00:00

On top of the other things (getting in shape, dressing in a respectful manner, keeping good hygienic practices) another thing to always remember is to never "force it." A poster above said something about having a fun loving aura and naturally drawing people in. He's right, but you NEVER want to be fake with it.

I used to do that kind of stuff in college. I remember one time I had some girl come over and she said something like "you seem like your having fun..." And I had no response. Everything I was portraying is skin deep, and I've never seen a woman become disinterested so fast.

Take a look at yourself. Find out who/ what it is that you are, and then be the best version of that. You know yourself better than anyone, and so you should be able to find out how to outwardly express yourself.

There are also some practices that you can do to project confidence in your posture. Even just keeping your chin up (literally) and standing up straight go a long way towards projecting confidence.

Finally, this is strictly something that I've found success in: SMILE! SMILE! SMILE! Smiling is one of those things that is contagious and makes people let down their defenses. Get into the habit of smiling. It projects that you are nonthreatening and approachable, which is what you are trying to accomplish to begin with. This is a small change that you can make that can pay dividends. Just smile.

JohnCooperWrites · 2014-02-01T15:15:34+00:00

Peacock. Wear a cowboy hat or something. Stand out of the crowd.

thehigheststatusmale · 2014-02-01T18:25:24+00:00

Be expressing the best emotions in the venue.

olafg1 · 2014-02-01T20:02:56+00:00

Strong eye contact.

ronmagicjohnson · 2014-02-01T20:51:07+00:00

Talk to everyone and people will naturally gravitate towards you

srekramagik · 2014-02-01T21:42:27+00:00

Confidence is what makes a man attractive in my opinion. The more comfortable you are in your own skin the more attractive you will be to others. Have fun and don't worry if women are checking you out. If you try too hard and act like you aren't comfortable with where you are then it will most likely make people not want to approach you.

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-02-02T17:36:06+00:00

Nearly every weekend, something disgusting happens like what happened in this thread. A massive outpouring of idiocy occurs, and I have to intervene and clean it up.

Nearly every comment in this post is about "be attractive" or "work out" or "grow long hair" or a referral to their favorite off-topic subreddit, or a 50 comment subthread debate about some actor, or something else absolutely irrelevant to seduction. These comments are personal opinions, and even worse, they are all the exact sort of opinions that cause you to fail with women. So stop that shit.

seddit is not a place to show off how "clever" you are, because you're not that clever. You just look tryhard, desperately trying to impress people. We are not impressed.

If someone asks a question, answer it by connecting with known seduction principles and practices that are used in this community. Do not speculate, use known and field-tested concepts.

If you offer mere personal opinion, you are helping derail a thread and you are making seddit a worse place for those might actually be able to give real help and discuss real seduction principles. You are burying the gold under a big pile of crap.

If you see threads like this, devolving into a clusterfuck of idiocy, please flag the post and draw it to the attention of the moderators. I know there are more people out there with common sense to know a problem when they see it. Help the moderators prevent these nuisances.

Ackilles · 2014-02-04T04:21:21+00:00

How are like 95% of the comments on this thread deleted

whomeverIwishtobe · 2014-02-13T10:27:33+00:00

Genuinely have fun and act how you would act if it was just you and your best friend and you just finished getting smashed and singing karaoke. Be the you that you are when you're not thinking about who's watching. Act strange. Wear things that stand out but not because they stand out because you like them. Things that are easy for a person to notice or talk about and you think actually looks good or cool or has some kind of meaning to you. Don't be afraid to act or look like a fool and everyone will enjoy your company.

Oh and laugh. Laughter makes me so comfortable, it's an affect it has on most people. If you can get yourself to crack up, like truly let out a real laugh in a social situation you can start a kind of chain of interactions that will be enjoyable because you've set yourself in the right mood. You aren't afraid, at least not nearly as much because humor is the best coping mechanism humans have invented. Use it to your advantage.

bigred16 · 2014-02-01T15:28:17+00:00

Meditation. Practicing the power of now.

joshsmith5 · 2014-02-01T11:16:05+00:00

This is something you dont have direct control over so dont stress over it.

Only thing you can do is try and be the best person you can be.

Try getting in good shape, practice good hygiene, properly fitting clothing to suit your body type/style, SMILE to not look to serious and have good posture.

2014-02-01T18:19:46+00:00

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TheAnswer305 · 2014-02-01T20:12:02+00:00

You gotta be confident dude. If you don't think you are awesome then why would anyone else? Im 5'9 150 and amazing. My smile is ridiculous. My eyelashes are the the envy of both genders and a frequent topic of conversation. My razor sharp wit and mind leave my peers scrambling to compete. You are supremely awesome in your own way. You can eat McDonalds daily and rock a six pack. Own it and believe it. There's plenty you have going for you that your buddy doesn't. Fake it if you must but look good and you'll see that what you want to exude quickly becomes you.

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-02-01T19:39:43+00:00

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2014-02-01T11:00:18+00:00

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Title	How do you get girls to approach you?
Author	FreelanceSedditor
Upvotes	160
Comments	116
Date	February 1, 2014 9:42 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1wpvym/how_do_you_get_girls_to_approach_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-get-girls-to-approach-you.1365298 https://theredarchive.com/post/1365298

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