Super motivated to change my fucking life

LiftBodyUpThenDown · 2014-04-24T17:35:00+00:00

Ey man, I'm gonna check up on you every once in a while to see how things are going; it should be helpful to have someone to share your progress with consistently.

You've got the lifestyle changes down and I applaud you big time. Why not approach women more too? Just go up to the pretty girls in your high school and tell them they're pretty, and why (eyes/hair/style?). Meet them, get to know them a bit, ask for their numbers or tell them you'll see them around and consistently meet all the hot girls at your school. It's important to practice this skill of meeting and attracting women. You will gain confidence and competence in your social and seduction skills.

These videos were particularly helpful for me

Nick Sparks' How to Hold Conversation Like a Man. This will teach you how to set up a good conversation and make women want to talk to you more. It will also give you some advice on being smooth and attractive by not fumbling for conversation topics.

Liam McRae's Rapid Escalation Learn how to quickly establish a sexual connection with a woman, and how to be physical when you're with them outside of school. Women are incredibly attracted to physicality and assertiveness.

Sasha Daygame's Fundamentals of Direct Game. This will teach you the reasoning behind being able to confidently and comfortably approach even the hottest women.

These videos will teach you everything you need to go up to random beautiful women and take it to the next level with them (whatever that may be for you).

Here are some of my posts, they may also help

Your Guide from the College Daygame Master

5 things that took me from being a needy single guy to the guy with the girl of his dreams

Good luck and I'm always here to help man, please send me a message if you need anything.

Afeni02 · 2014-04-25T00:30:22+00:00

How I went from being a sadkunt to being a sikkunt.

I used to be a very shy guy and hated it, I always lived in my head too much, I always over-analyzed situations, I had very low self esteem despite being an attractive guy IMO, girls always hit on me ever since kindergarten but I only had like 4 or 5 girlfriends by the time i became an adult because I just didn't have the confidence. There's good news though, confidence can be learned bros. Honestly, with me, i cant pinpoint an "event" or occasion that gave me confidence, it was a gradual process that eventually became internalize, it certainly did not happen over night.

MINDSET first, get the word shy out of your vocabulary. You are what you think. If you say you're shy well fuck, you're gonna be shy, don't label yourself negatively, if you say you're a loser, you will behave as one, people will sense this and will not be attracted to you. Negativity is contagious, so is positivity. be positive. if you say your a fun, outgoing person that's open to new experience and new people, that's what you're gonna be (fake it til you make it/become it. Watch the TEDtalks by Amy Cuddy about body language, actions speak louder than words.) You're probably not shy, you're probably just an introvert with low self esteem (that's what I was, I always thought I was just shy but in reality I was just an introvert with low self-esteem)
Body language smile! Seriously, practice smiling in your mirror very frequently. All my life i used to think that smiling is gay, smiling at a guy is gay, i used to think smiling was just girly. but a guy who is smiling and looking like hes enjoying himself shows that he is comfortable with himself and believes in himself, it's very attractive. Don't underestimate your smile, try to change the way you hold your face, (dat der resting bitch face) don't look depressed or serious, smile to show that you are comfortable. Be an expert in body language, study it! (again, watch the Amy Cuddy TEDtalks if you still haven't) Fix your posture, walk proud, keep your head up like your nose is bleeding, have "open" body language.
Social Proof befriend EVERYBODY! I don't care if its a fat chick, an old man sitting on a bench or the little kid from down the street (although you might need to be careful on that one) Chat up everybody, when you pass people, look them in the eye, smile and greet, you'll be surprised how many people don't make eye contact/look at the ground/look at you like wtf? IF people don't greet you back, don't take it personally, keep smiling and greet the next person. (A good video to watch about this is David Wygant's elevator talk Go out and meet new people, form relationships, I know this sounds hard right now but it's very doable, nothing is impossible. just greet everyone be friendly, be the guy that knows everybody and is cool with everybody, social proof is very attractive.
Self Improvement Focus on yourself, do you. Actively seek out to become the best version of yourself. Dress nicely, workout, pickup a new hobby, read, learn new things, seek out new experiences, face your fears, don't waste life, Carpe Diem!

Notice how I didn't mention a single thing about girls. You must learn how to improve yourself and fix your flaws before even thinking about gaming a girl. Gaming girls will come naturally with all the confidence you acquire through the points I made above.

To close, I'd like to share with you a quote that changed my life.

The Zyzz mindset

"Everybody, one day will die, and be forgotten. Act and behave in a way that will make life interesting and fun, fuck a mundane predictable life working monday to friday with something you derive no pleasure from; just living life out till you grow old and wither away. Find a passion, form relationships, dont be afraid to get out there and fuck what everyone else thinks, trust me its alot more fun that way. Dont ever pay people out or put people down. Instead just put yourself up and let the haters do their thing. Id rather be a person thats hated on, than a person that does the hating. A wise man one said.. Haters gonna hate!"

Zyzz

DaSneakiKawiki · 2014-04-24T19:55:36+00:00

Start some reading! Pick up Models by Mark Manson. This book has helped me tremendously. Worth every penny. Must read for any man with a burning desire to succeed in life.

ElSolitarioJorge · 2014-04-24T22:52:36+00:00

I would suggest quitting weed as well. While you sometimes have great revelations, the dopamine effects can be similar to fapping. Then again if you only do it 1-2 times a week it may not be so bad.

melbournelebowski613 · 2014-04-25T01:43:58+00:00

Are you me? Holy tits

2014-04-24T22:05:19+00:00

http://youtu.be/X45fQ8_81Q8

This is a new video from Tyler/Owen but a great one.

Also read 'How to win friends and influence people'. A Great book that you've probably heard of. As well as 'Models' by mark Manson.

If you're cutting down on sugar you might want to check out /r/keto as well.

Also honestly don't worry bout the no kissing or being a virgin. It's no big deal at all.

I think a few people haven't mentioned this but it will be important to gain close friends. Open up more to people and be the fun guy who everyone wants to hang out with. Having a social circle with a strong core that grew and grew and had a healthy rotation of people coming in and out that also allowed me to meet huge volumes of people was a great help to every aspect of my social life and confidence.

scholarly_pimp · 2014-04-24T19:37:12+00:00

Being as your 18, I feel like you are light years beyond most your age... you've got a good head, stick to your plans

It's all about constantly improving yourself... if you fall off the horse, get right the fuck back on!

more power to you man!

2014-04-25T05:04:24+00:00

If you really wanna change shit, it's not that complicated. It's super difficult, but it's not that much stuff you have to do.

No more weed. Like none, it fucks your priorities. And I've smoked ungodly amounts of pot, so don't act like I don't get it. That shit never got me anywhere, of course it did a great job and making me THINK it was getting me somewhere.
Work out. Like regularly, you want to look better and feel better without pot, this is pretty much the only way.
Stop focusing on one girl. Think about how ridiculous that sounds. What if you were a salesman? Would you just keep trying to sell to one person over and over? No, that's a waste of time, a good salesmen tries to sell to as many people as possible. It makes much more sense to talk to as many girls as possible, because the chance of one liking you is so much higher.
No more "standards". You need to start talking to girls, but hot and popular girls are just gonna ruin your confidence. So get over it. Hit on girls who most guys don't seem interested in, after all you gotta start somewhere. Once you have some more experience and lost your virginity, you can start going for prettier girls. But as of now, it's just a waste of time. Does a salesman start with million dollar sales? No, he starts small and works his way up.

None of this is easy to do, but it is damn simple isn't it? Well, if you've got the motivation that's really all you need, oh and the jerk off thing is bullshit. I mean yeah, you shouldn't do it 5 times a day, but if you wanna beat off, beat off. It's not nearly as bad as smoking pot is, at least for someone who's trying to make a personal change.

penismissle · 2014-04-24T20:14:39+00:00

/u/ElSolitarioJorge, please dont give up. Please dont get discouraged.

I was an afc with no close friends and no contact with women. A month after I have made two awesome friends who also read /r/seduction, I havent k or f closed with any woman but whenever I see a girl I like, I talk to her and develop some kind of rapport and sometimes get a number.

This is really nothing impressive but I am so happy with myself because I would never approach anyone, I was really shy, quiet, and reserved. Now I talk to everyone, I made friends, and always have a true smile on my face.

Keep in mind I'm improving and developing my skills and have made the progress but I'm not in shape, in fact, I'm a bit overweight. Has that stopped me from macking on honeys hell no!

So you're in shape, I'm not. If I achieved what I achieved in my physical shape, imagine how much more you can achieve in your physical shape. Dont give up, make yourself proud!!

TurningItIntoASnake · 2014-04-24T20:48:43+00:00

Good for you man and props for realizing this at 18. You're definitely on the right path. Make sure you stick to it. There will be ups and downs and it's easy to get caught up in both of them (Maintaining yourself between them is a good mindfulness exercise :p) but always keep pushing. Whether it feels like you're not succeeding, or whether it feels like you reached your current goal, keep striving to become better and live a more fulfilling life and step by step, day by day you'll see it all fall into place.

This is just something I started doing personally but I like to keep a journal every day where I write down all my thought processes, emotions, notable events, goals and just about everything interesting throughout the day. If you really want to be amazed, do this for a few months and then look back at how much your attitude changes, how many things you wanted to do that you actually did, and how your journey changes over time. It helps you really understand your situation, and it's good to see your progress like that because sometimes it's not always apparent to us, especially when things are at their worst.

I'm gonna second the dude who mentioned Models. That's the best relevant read I ever found on here. You might also enjoy "Mindfulness in Plain English" and "The Power of Now" to get you on the right path for meditation practice and mindset.

I hope you stick it out man and find your own happiness :)

MVelcro · 2014-04-24T20:56:53+00:00

Also 18 years old here. Just finishing my first year at university and let me tell you, school doesnt magically change into some huge frat party where you bang 3 girls a night even if youre socially awkward. Its a better environment to meet new girls if you can get over AA. Although most are very focused on school and overwhelmed with stress, total basket cases, not relationship material from what Ive found. Maybe its because Im in engineering though..

Allen_Yuan · 2014-04-25T01:50:42+00:00

F Yeah! GO FOR IT!

2014-04-25T13:10:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nugsnotdrugs91 · 2014-04-24T21:13:41+00:00

Dude, mad kudos to you for opening your eyes before college. I went through this same thing almost exactly (except Karate, not BJJ) after I went off to college and got kicked out for lack of academic performance. It seems like you're off to an awesome start..actually, check that..FUCKING AMAZING start. I wish you the best of luck (not that you'll need it).

I'm not too bound by the methods on seddit, but the overall principles are the same. If girls are your goal...forget about them. seriously. Find a purpose (besides self improvement). For example, I'm starting a student organization at my school next semester to encourage and empower students to take charge of their own fitness rather than turning to the internet or overpriced trainers. Its a simple concept, but its what lights the fire under my ass on a daily basis because its MINE, ya dig?

When you interact with anyone (cheeseball alert), make eye contact, smile warmly (smile with your whole face, not just your mouth), and either shake their hand or give them a hug at the end of the interaction. You won't even know why people are so attracted to you.

NOW GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME ASS!!!!!

radikole · 2014-04-24T21:24:23+00:00

I want to make similar changes and am in a similar situation. Once I get home I'll pm you, maybe we can help each other stay with it.

entSC · 2014-04-24T22:08:27+00:00

good luck brother

TheBoatShoe · 2014-04-24T23:10:01+00:00

Buddy, glad to here this. I am on an almost identical path as you right now. Best of luck to you!

c00kiecutter · 2014-04-24T23:20:59+00:00

Hey man, you seem to have a good understanding of your situation and I think you're off to a good start and should improve rather fast.

That's my prediction. Anyway, good luck :)

Oh, and yeah, what I think will be your missing piece (because it wasn't in the post): Don't be afraid to push boundaries and do things you aren't sure if they are socially acceptable. You can get away with a lot more than you think.

In the beginning you will have to fake your confidence in that what you're doing is okay. Honestly, most bold moves only work if you're all in and you exude confidence in what you're doing. After a while you will gain the experience of how which situations usually play out and it will become natural.

RickyRBG · 2014-04-24T23:40:42+00:00

Good post! Thanks for sharing. Good luck in all that you do.

steffansk8 · 2014-04-25T00:19:48+00:00

This was really relatable for me being a senior in high school who, in almost every way, is like you. I like what your doing and share a few common goals including less fapping, more confidence, and looking for validation for others less. This, along with my realization of how short life really is, has inspired me to follow suit and push forward with the goals I have. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of being a better you.

ginsunuva · 2014-04-25T00:39:57+00:00

Is there someone going around telling people they can't change?

I've never heard anyone say this before.

Jekerdud · 2014-04-25T01:39:54+00:00

Being a senior in high school, one thing I can say about talking to people in general: just do it. The people you never talked to, just talk to em. For one, you aren't going to talk to most of them after you graduate anyways, I've been out of high school for 10 years, and out of around 250 people, I still talk to maybe 5 of them tops, only one I hang out with all the time. Another good thing about saying "fuck it" and just talking to them is that it gives you more confidence for when you get into college when speaking to random strangers, which in turn helps when picking up women (or helps you get a good wing).

In regards to your diet, don't cut out sugars 100%, your body still needs some sugars every day. But not going on a Reese's and Mountain Dew binge anymore is a great first step! Just make sure they are natural sugars, like what you get in fruits.

zer0nix · 2014-04-25T02:20:15+00:00

I feel like the positivity I've taken away from this experience is a good starting point.

and when that stops working, realize then that you need to reevaluate your methods and strategy and not simply give up.

giving up or wallowing in self pity is simply being infantile and is a mindless holdover from when you were a helpless infant.

as long as you are thinking and breathing, there is almost always something that you can do to help yourself better your own situation --and even when you make mistakes, you are simply learning how not to do things, which are still helpful steps forward.

remember, there are no parental figures watching over you. it's all up to you. if you want something to get done, you're going to have to see to it that it gets done. if you don't see to it that it gets done, then it won't get done.

callmechad · 2014-04-25T03:16:36+00:00

Good luck man

2014-04-25T05:13:18+00:00

Just commenting to reference later.

ninjamuffin · 2014-04-25T05:22:49+00:00

Quick Question: Are you me?

Spore2012 · 2014-04-25T05:36:42+00:00

I read an article about if you write a long essay on how you are going to do something and people validate you like you did it, then you already feel like you did it and then the feeling washes away.

So, more doing, less talking.

2014-04-25T06:38:16+00:00

Helpful hints- Lay off the weed/bong, whatever you're doing man. You want chicks? Go make something of yourself.
Be driven in life. They love it, you'll get as many as you want if you're driven, accomplish stuff in life such as a great job, exercise, be social, stay away from crap that either makes you act/look stupid or age you, etc. You do this and you will enjoy what you are wanting to enjoy a lot more.

Juvele · 2014-04-25T11:45:07+00:00

Hi, quick question to the seddit community : how many of you have seen a therapist ? Has it helped in any way to make a fresh start in your game ?

WhyAmIEvenHereOMG · 2014-04-25T12:35:42+00:00

Most of what everyone has said here is amazing advice. Especially the top post. Great videos.

As a junior in college right now who relates very deeply with you (I was lucky enough to have a sport I excelled in that carried me to college where I faced your problems), here is my advice.

It's good you're fixing your diet. Get in the gym now. Start improving your body. It's better to start now than wait until you're already in college or worse, after. This will take time. Read about the Starting Strength program. Eat a lot.

Join a fraternity in college. Just do it. Seriously. This will forever be one of my biggest regrets in college. It will lend you so many social opportunities by default and give you a huge network to play with. Look into it. I didn't and I wish I had. Fuck the stereotypes.

Watch those videos everyone gave you. Check out daygame.com's approach style. It's similar to Sasha Daygames. Youtube it. Check out this write up by Chris from Goodlookingloser about college. His stuff about screening is what I consider the best of any approach material.

Good luck. I'd also like to warn you it's about the little things. You'll fall off (I certainly have) and want to quit. You will quit. But you just need to keep starting over again and moving forward.

Get_Them_Now · 2014-04-24T23:49:56+00:00

Keep all your names El Solitario, they are all a part of you.

2014-04-25T02:05:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Super motivated to change my fucking life
Author	ElSolitarioJorge
Upvotes	325
Comments	54
Date	April 24, 2014 5:22 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/23viv6/super_motivated_to_change_my_fucking_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/super-motivated-to-change-my-fucking-life.1369754 https://theredarchive.com/post/1369754

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