Last week I matched with a girl on tinder. Tried a new opener; she thought it was funny and asked if it usually works. I said it was my first time trying it and I wouldn't know until she gave me her number. Got her number.

We made a plan to get pizza and beers. She cancelled on the pizza because she was on a hiking trip but we got drinks.

I asked where I was picking her up 2 hours before the date. She sent me her address but said she wanted to walk because she would be bringing her dog to the bar. At first I was very confused, but then decided to just go for the story and had my ride swing me by a grocery store so I could pick up dog treats.

I arrive at her place and get dropped off. We walk about six blocks in the heat and humidity to one of two outdoor bars in the city. I have thick black hair so by the time we got there the do was a mess.

I buy us some beers and we sit outside. This girl did so much talking I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to. (Pro Tip: the more they talk the better they feel about the date).

The live band started playing and her dog went nuts, so I slipped him a treat to chew on and he sat under the table quietly chewing on the treat while this girl continued to talk at me.

We leave, run in to her friends, I chat with one of them about the city, then we go out separate ways. Me, tinder girl, and pooch go to the next outdoor bar. There are only 2 people there.

She won't be quiet about game of thrones fan theories. Suddenly she realizes she's done all the talking. I joke with her that she's making the date easier for me because she's doing enough talking for the both of us. I ask her how she likes the sound of her voice.

We go for a walk and while she's talking I grab the dog leash from her and just start running through the park with her dog. I play with the dog and then finally take him off the leash and keep slipping him treats so he doesn't run off. She's shocked that her dog is being so good and not running off on his own.

We sit on a bench while the dog chills out and I finally break the contact barrier by asking her about her jewelry and touching it. Some random people playing Pokemon Go walk by and the dog starts getting antsy wanting to go play with them, so I tell her we should take the dog back to her place.

We get back to her place and she breaks out some wine. She sits on the opposite end of the couch from me, so I invite her dog up to sit next to me and say "she doesn't want to get close to me so you'll have to do for now." She laughs and gets closer. I push the dog off and put my arm around her; we start making out.

The dog keeps climbing up on to us, so I suggest we go in to her room. She scoffs and says "nice try". I say I'm just looking out for her dog's best interest.

We keep making out and I start to escalate things. She says "not on the first date," I say "that implies that I want to go on a second date with you." She giggles, and I pull her on top of me. We chat about a recent beach trip she went on; I keep stealing kisses in between sentences.

Back to making out. I move to second base; she's more comfortable with how I'm touching her. I go down on her and she says "fuck it lets go to my room." F-close.

Afterwards I clean myself off and hop back in to her bed. She tells me she's moving soon and just got out of an LTR. She admits it's her first tinder date and didn't know what to expect. I tell her I wasn't looking for something serious. I call an uber, and send a follow up text: "tell your dog I want to see him before he moves." I have a dog park near my place so she's coming by tomorrow with the dog after work.