Do any of you guys ever had a girl ask you out on a date first? 21 years of my life and I never had a girl ask me out or told me that they liked me.

immaSandNi-woops · 2017-05-26T08:01:11+00:00

I'm hearing 2 things here:

Is it common for girls not to approach guys?
(Summarizing) You feel girls don't want to go out with you.

The answer to #1 is an a hard YES. Girls will most of the time not approach the guy even if they're interested in them. I've had some girls come up to me, but honestly the difference of me approaching them over them approaching me is very high.

The second part is that you don't think girls want to go out with you. Okay, maybe they don't. Ever thought about why? I'm not saying you should feel that it's because you're inadequate, rather, think of ways you think you could improve yourself.

Are you overweight? Go to the gym and eat healthier.

Are you always stuck up in your room? Socialize more or join a club. Maybe go to parties and start talking to people.

How are you social skills? Do you think you come off as awkward, shy, creepy, and/or boring? Not trying to be mean, just thinking critically.

What's your hygiene like? This could be a huge turnoff if you don't have a good hygiene.

The interesting part of your post is that you're describing a symptom. Girls don't want to be with you, but it's almost like you're blaming them for not wanting to be with you. I can understand that, but have you ever looked at yourself and thought why?

PM_ME_UR_TECHNO_GRRL · 2017-05-26T10:41:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Luffydude · 2017-05-26T12:51:53+00:00

Approaching, yes. Asking on a date, no. At most the girl will say something like "would you like to meet?"

And that is fine, when she shows the interest, it's a nice timing to pull the trigger and set a time and place. Remember that it's your job to lead

Since you appear to be a hardcase, I'd recommend watching some videos such as:

The classic Fast Newbie Guide: How To Pick Up Girls, Get Laid And Get A Kick Ass Girlfriend!

And this one, which is kinda more self development oriented

Locupleto · 2017-05-26T16:48:06+00:00

Oh fond memory of a gorgeous girl in college. There was chemistry but I was dating someone already and didn't ask her out. So she proposes that we bet a big mac. I forgot what we were betting on but to this day I remember it as an amazing clever way to ask someone out. One way or other we are going out for a big mac.

So when my girlfriend and I broke up I took her out. She looked way more amazing than in class, really blew me away.

Soon after my girlfriend and I got back together. To this day I wonder what if.

NilacTheGrim · 2017-05-27T01:31:42+00:00

My two cents: Yes, and the ones that do it generally have control issues and/or want to be bossy. You should do the pursuing. Leads to less drama later.

BeardedDean · 2017-05-26T17:00:36+00:00

I went out to eat a few weeks ago with my roommate and two of his coworkers. We hit up this sit down Mexican restaurant for taco Tuesday and cheap beers. Our waitress ended up being a girl that I had met previously once before through mutual friends. I hadn't talked to her since that first meeting. As we got up to leave, she caught me and asked me out. I was a little bit awestruck because I wasn't in that headspace. She is a gorgeous gal, I had just never though about asking her out.

Since then we've been seeing eachother regularly. I've had the chance to meet some of her family. It's really nice.

Sometimes you just don't know what life is going to throw at you... good or bad.

TunechiOnYoTunaFish · 2017-05-27T00:06:43+00:00

I mean, it doesn't happen often, unless you are super hot/ripped/look like a model, and even then not near as much as you would think. The best way I've found so far to get a girl to make the first move on me is to teach her how to Dougie.

Nubrication · 2017-05-26T12:04:29+00:00

Step 1: Be attractive. The end.

2017-05-26T09:25:48+00:00

Yes, women never make the first move even if she's very interested in you. It happens once in every blue moon, but that's it.

Girls are paralyzingly afraid of rejection. It is your job as a man to do that.

Tamazin_ · 2017-05-26T12:00:28+00:00

An extremely low number has, on tinder and the likes and along the lines of "So hey, wanna grab a beer?". 9/10 of those times it still ended up with me deciding when and where and so on.

And thats from someone thats 32 with hundreds upon hundreds of dates through various sites.

2017-05-26T12:45:34+00:00

Only time it's happened to me was a good bit during highschool.

tramplemestilsken · 2017-05-26T13:24:54+00:00

I'm in my 30s and can count on one hand the amount of girls that have made the first move, and even then "making the first move" just means they are trying to make it super obvious that they want ME to make a move. Ok, maybe a few more if you count the girls that are do it because men never approach them, for obvious reasons.

Competition is stiff out there man. If you want women to be receptive, you will have to at least appear that you have something to offer them. Haircut + well fitting clothes + a fit body will change that quick. On top of that, a healthy or fun lifestyle and potential in your career will go a long way.

Seems a bit like you're thinking I'm a man, they're a woman, why aren't they interested?"

Idfsupporter · 2017-05-26T13:44:20+00:00

You have to go out and socialize with others. You are making a huge mistake I made and that was to wait for girls to give me the green light.

You make your own destiny

2017-05-26T13:50:34+00:00

Well, one thing to keep in mind is that social dynamics (at least in developped countries) don't really push for women to do these sort of "first moves". Those moves are usually initiated by men. So yeah, there MAY be a few women that would break the mold, but they're the exception rather than the rule.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like you hold expectations that women should come to you. Now I won't question as to why you'd have these expectations, but I'll tell you right now: you need to let go of them, because you'll remain sorely disappointed / frustrated for the remainder of your life.

And that's something that applies to life itself: if you wait for stuff to happen, chances are nothing will happen. If you take action and provoke things, then things will happen.

2017-05-26T16:58:41+00:00

Yes, but...
I'm rather good at flirting, and I draw it out over days or weeks. It helps to be good looking, but flirting also acts as a halfway step between joking and dating. With flirting you can sense if things are getting more interesting or going nowhere.
So yes, a number of women have asked me out - but did a number of women make "the first move"? Not if you include me starting to flirt with them. Or increasing the flirting, or keeping it going for a long time. I highly recommend flirting as a middle step between barely knowing someone and going on a date.

LimitedContributor · 2017-05-26T19:01:49+00:00

I did and turned them into miss opportunities.

That's way more brutal, man.

2017-05-26T19:13:52+00:00

Girls in 200,000 years of evolution have not asked men out and they never will, blame sex roles and our hard wiring. Other than Sadie Hawkins day, you have to do the hard work, but remember women are busy giving off signals like mad. They even have books written about giving off signals so men notice. Women spend a lot of time working on these techniques, so pay fucking attention!

Saggre · 2017-05-26T19:31:37+00:00

Yes it has happened. I declined tho.

tony18215 · 2017-05-26T20:27:37+00:00

im a 6ft2 guy who gets a good amount of looks and dressed nice but has only approached by girls like 4 times in my whole life. Girls are really shy to asking guys out because they are afraid of rejection or just heavily believe in its the guys job to ask the girl out.Ive seen multiple good looking girls just stare at me and show interests but will not even say a word or go up to me.Guy stop complaining and take charge or your gonna be a 40 year old virgin

2017-05-26T21:25:31+00:00

I had to girls nearly asked me about relationship. But I was too shy then. Same sort of thing happened to both of them. We were in same class and both invited me to sit in same place. Keep in mind things happened in different times with both. One of them started looking into my eyes and started singing to me, I became so anxious like I freaked out. My cheeks gone full red and couldnt even look at her face. She ended up not telling me anything. Its not a big deal if you want to know. Especially if you dont like the girl. Better dont think with your ego.

2017-05-27T00:02:34+00:00

No. It's typical for guys to make the first move. They could be also afraid of rejection.

H8CourtshipALot217 · 2017-05-29T15:07:19+00:00

sadly very rarely it happens

TheQlymaX · 2017-05-26T07:54:06+00:00

When I was coming back to home by train, I sat next to pretty blonde girl who had got a flowers... So I askedher if the flowers are her, she answered that no and she is coming from hospital, so bla, bla, bla... She was very open, we said bye after some time and soon she was looking for me on local Facebook groups, she knew my name only and my friend gave her my profile. Next she me if I want to go on skate with her ;)

I think that everything needs time, so you will find girl today, next month or next 2 years. You should be happy eith yourself first.

uniquan · 2017-05-26T15:01:02+00:00

Yes, but it didn't mount to anything, I was otaku-level shy.

Mr_Brightside01 · 2017-05-26T17:03:40+00:00

Most girls are more scare of you than you are to them, they're are full of insecurities too. Enjoy being a dominant male, embrace your power.

gdane80 · 2017-05-26T14:32:26+00:00

Maybe you are an incel?

melgarologist · 2017-05-26T10:13:23+00:00

It happens rarely but either I'm not attracted or interested in the girl or I was too stupid to notice until hours/days/weeks later.

If you're not getting the attention you want, you need to be more attractive. Not just physically, but just genuinely interesting.

jano2525 · 2017-05-26T11:00:32+00:00

As soon as you are high value you'll have to beat girls off with a stick. They're a lot more subtle than guys but you can still tell. Not trying to be arrogant but happens all the time. Btw value = power, but there's a lot of different types that apply to the dating market.

Telemorpheus · 2017-05-26T11:45:30+00:00

I would not say it's common but I've a few girls ask me out. In fact I've gotten 4 girlfriends that way.

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