Just had an Aha moment

Isthisthereddits · 2024-03-14T23:14:01+00:00

True, but depending on the situations giving may end the situation quicker helping you to heal, cut ties, and never talk to her again sooner. Its a dangerous game and either way the man loses in some way. We have to pick our poison, drink it, and hope the damage is minimal.

Fwooply · 2024-03-13T17:55:31+00:00

I was nice. I returned her yearbooks, photos, scrap books, baby books. I returned her softball glove. I made sure she had graduation tickets, etc. I gave her an opportunity to visit with the dogs before they were given away to my parents. She declined. One of those dogs was hers. My parents are on the other coast.

I got vitriol back. She was a complete butt nugget. Baseless threats of restraining orders. Abandoned kids. Smear campaign. She didn't allow me to keep the house even though it would have netted her $50k. So the kids and I are renting now.

I'd do it the same way again. If it costs me nothing, I'll be nice. I'd rather be true to my nature than be a like her. If it costs me money, well, that's different.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-03-13T00:56:39+00:00

Sometimes you can loose a battle to win the war. Pick your battles

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2024-03-12T21:19:32+00:00

*sighing*

Yep. It's a ridiculous, zero-sum situation.

Lumptbuttcat · 2024-03-12T20:58:48+00:00

I share this a lot so sorry for folks who have seen me write the following. Knew I was going to be on the hook for alimony. Also knew I would end up likely having to pay more over the years as I felt my career and income increasing. Add to all that, I did not want to stomach writing checks every month.

I proposed at mediation to give her one check that would equate to the NPV of future alimony payments. This lump some was in lieu of alimony. The decree was signed.

The silver lining in all of this? My stupid ex blew all of it on her AP’s business. I got his third hand, but it appears he conned her into using the money to become his business partner to grow his rock solid business. Reality was, the business was barely afloat and all that money did was pay off debt and keep it on life support for two months. SHE. BLEW. IT. ALL. So then AP had to move across the country. As she puts it, he begged for her to come. I’ll give her a little credit. She didn’t up and leave her kids for this short, fat and bald idiot. Pretty sure he knew she wouldn’t come and that was his way of running.

Ain’t gonna lie, it’s really nice to watch her struggle.

Reflog1791 · 2024-03-12T20:10:18+00:00

The new mate is always a loser who gobbles up your sloppy seconds. Think about it you had the younger hotter version.

As for her and her new mate being assisted by your hard work, yeah that’s a given. But I don’t think it has anything to do with giving her an inch, that’s just the way it is.

But you can be better at saving and investing and do more with less. Don’t underestimate that at all. I bought a fat golf course house and padded my retirement with nothing but a 15% raise and a child support obligation.

Saved money by not having her spending my money. I didn’t go on vacations I bought a house and got my retirement in order. Her and her loser boyfriend can hound me for $30 extracurricular repayments. Fuck em.

Chance-Muscle-9556 · 2024-03-12T20:09:00+00:00

I mean I guess. She deserves half of whatever you built together regardless of who she is with just like you do. If you have kids together then you are definitely having a warped view of the situation together

Title	Just had an Aha moment
Author	cnarsystems
Upvotes	24
Comments	23
Date	March 12, 2024 7:45 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bd6jke/just_had_an_aha_moment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/just-had-an-aha-moment.1426073 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426073

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