Why are women who violate their man's boundaries not hated the same way men who violate their woman's boundaries are?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-03-19T11:14:50+00:00

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nightsofthesunkissed · 2024-03-19T09:44:15+00:00

I thought this was going to be like disclosing intimate problems, sexual difficulties, or some kind of humiliating "his dick is tiny!" shit. It isn't. This is the complete and total non-issue of a woman saying her fiance is great in bed...

The guy is a complete loser for dumping his fiance over this. Absolutely ridiculous overreaction.

obviousredflag · 2024-03-19T10:12:14+00:00

This thread is very illuminating. A woman talked about her sex life with her friends, even though her fiance asked her not to, she just ignored his boundary, and the comments are full of people castigating him for it.

No, the thread is full of highly upvoted comments who think this is fake as hell and i would agree.

Barneysparky · 2024-03-19T09:16:07+00:00

Because saying "he's good in bed" is not discussing the intimate parts of our relationship with friends.

OP. In that situation, would you call off an engagement after a 4 year relationship?

Did you skim the thread looking for rage porn? It's not there.

Wattehfok · 2024-03-19T09:34:55+00:00

Assuming this happened (and it didn't) - dude is burning down his house 'cause he saw a spider. People fuck up, and you're allowed to be pissed about it, but this is a wild overreaction.

As for men not being standoffish when approached - we just don't get approached that much (unless you're unusually good looking, I suppose).

Any marginally attractive woman is going to have to deal with unwanted attention from guys all the time. It sucks getting shot down rudely, but I kinda sympathise with the chick if I'm the tenth guy tonight trying to awkwardly chat her up.

Ideally, we'd all have nice, civil interactions with each other where we understood what the other was thinking.

But in reality - we say dumb shit because we're nervous, we get off on the wrong foot, are just generally awkward and learning social calibration, or just have bad days.

Best we can hope to do is try to extend a little grace and empathy to others.

mrmudkip11 · 2024-03-19T09:22:56+00:00

To be fair the guy in that original thread was being overdramatic and vague, I don’t think that’s a real example of stepping over someone’s boundaries. Men talk about the same things all of the time and no one really bats an eye either way.

I don’t really know why anyone is weird about talking about their sexual preferences or the fact they’re satisfied in their sex life? I feel like I talk about these things to my friends (regardless of gender) all of the time. I can see being upset if your fiance was shit talking about how bad in bed you are but like cmon it’s not that serious lol.

mrs_seng · 2024-03-19T09:44:27+00:00

If that post isn't fake (i still believe it is), the dude is overdramatic. He didn't want details spilled and I don't see "he makes me happy in bed" as details. Blowing up a 5 year relationship over this is immature, weird and overreacting. Imagine complimenting someone and he blows up.

RubyDiscus · 2024-03-19T09:40:44+00:00

Eh this was ridiculous the guys overly sensitive and insecure about sex stuff tho the fiance shouldn't of mentioned anything sexual to the sister.

It depends on what was said precisely.

a lot of other women that I know constantly blab about their sex lives, the details of their boyfriend's bodies, preferences,

They probably just like talking about sex. I personally like talking about it as well 😂 I think it's fairly common for people who aren't asexual or prudes

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CatholicChanner · 2024-03-19T09:44:54+00:00

The OP is too vague on details on what was shared for me to really say, she could have thought it "was a little" but to him it could have brought up trauma and was very disrespectful if he's a certain type of person. I personally probably would not have thrown away a 5 year relationship over this because she actually seemed remorseful about it but what have you.

There's actually a whole plot in the Sopranos about something like this with Uncle Junior and his lady friend, she commented positively about a detail of his sex life and it ended up with him being made fun of and ruining their relationship. If the OP is a bit old fashioned I could see it being humiliating and a severe breach of trust for him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t9F-_7mtrA

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-03-19T09:52:35+00:00

It happens all the time. Men are always seen as perpetrators and women as victims.

There's a thread going on at dating over thirty where the OP asks if she should keep dating this guy with toilet seat balding pattern (lmfao 💀💀💀💀) everyone's having a great time with the banter.

But, just imagine for a second, just for a second, what would happen if a guy posts asking if he should keep dating this girl with torpedo 🚀 tits.

NotReallyTired_ · 2024-03-19T11:08:42+00:00

It’s because men are told to adhere to the wants, needs, and desires of women regardless if it’s detrimental to their own wants and needs.

Notice how majority of male dating advice cross the spectrum is mostly about appeasing and making sacrifices for the sake for a woman’s desire and wants, which is perfectly fine and what men are supposed to do. But it shouldn’t be at the cost of their own comfort and boundaries, we’re all humans with our own feelings and temperaments. Men shouldn’t have to tell the woman they’re dating or married to that they don’t feel comfortable, it should already be known just like the vice versa.

Women are almost never told this outside of improving physical beauty. I’ve never met a woman both family and friends that’s has been told that they have to make sacrifices and appease men who make the effort. They’re taught to create and enforce their own boundaries but rarely taught to respect men’s because of the false notion that what all men need and want is sex, that men have no inner depth no passion, no emotional capacity, no needs, and no wants. Men are just looking for a hole and that’s the end of the story.

So yeah it’s perfectly okay to violate a man’s boundaries because to a lot of women minds all we want is sex, and we’re willing to throw away our dignity and comfort as a means to get box.

Love-Is-Selfish · 2024-03-19T10:01:01+00:00

Putting aside your specific example and how valid it is, probably because men haven’t cared enough to stand up for themselves, which might be related to that advantage men have in sex so they don’t feel threatened by a woman sharing details.

I could count the number of men being rude/standoffish/etc... to a woman who approaches them on one hand, whereas I've seen dozens if not hundreds of women being rude/standoffish... to men who approach them.

Men have the advantage in sex, so they approach women more, so women have to deal with unwanted advances more while being at a disadvantage. So a woman approaching a man is more novel to a man. He probably doesn’t have bad experiences. And he’s also at an advantage.

babazuki · 2024-03-19T10:28:30+00:00

Yeah, women yap and gossip a lot. But on top of that men's intimacy isn't valuable, so so they don't consider they are sharing anything sensitive when they talk about men's bodies.

If women valued men's physical intimacy they would be appreciative of dick pics, there would be men's lingerie stores like Victor's Secret. Men would be able to lie down naked on a bed as his birthday present to his partner. Women would consider how modestly their male partner dresses and what he posts on IG.

That's just not the world we live in.

Womens physical intimacy is valuable, men are valued for other things.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-03-19T10:39:36+00:00

For the same reason women are given much more leniency in every other aspect of life especially compared to men.

Title	Why are women who violate their man's boundaries not hated the same way men who violate their woman's boundaries are?
Author	EvilLiberalHarlot
Upvotes	14
Comments	28
Date	March 19, 2024 9:08 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bifw65/why_are_women_who_violate_their_mans_boundaries/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-women-who-violate-their-mans-boundaries.1426576 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426576

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