"Bro, stop worrying about what other people think. Make your life better for you! Go to the gym and feel better for you! You deserve this, nobody can put you down, it's all about you!"
Y'all wake up and take estrogen pills this morning?
That self-help plattitude bullshit sounds like seddit had a baby with /r/fatacceptance. Except it wasn't a baby, it was just a really gassy turd, you were too busy stuffing your face with feel good bullshit to realize where it came from.
External validation is not only a common need among actual humans, but it's something that can cause severe cognitive dissonance, anxiety, and stress to pretend you don't need it.
The stupid idea that you shouldn't care what others think of you to "feel good about yourself" is precisely what women tell each other so they'll eat another pint of fucking ice cream and take themselves out of the running, making way for real contenders who don't fall victim to that stupid shit.
What people think of you is going to be intrinsically linked to your success as a creature in a social species.
How others perceive you will determine to what extent you can derive benefit from others.
Lacking happiness due to a lack of success is normal, and is the very fucking drive that makes us men. Don't fucking hamster your way out of that thinking and into: "who cares if I'm sexless and alone, I do what I want for me, I'm no slave to peer pressure!!! GO TEAM VIRGIN!!"
There is a drive that most men have, to varying degrees, that addicts us to sex, to the pursuit of sex and beautiful women. And for a lot of us, we recognize this and do what it takes to accomplish the goals of attaining these things. Even our drive for financial success stems from our desires for sex and our need to secure it.
Financial success, body building, working out, improving appearance, improving your personality, adopting a sense of humor, and learning to interface people with confidence ARE ALL FOR EXTERNAL VALIDATION. That is why we strive to better ourselves, not because there's some noble goal... as though on our death beds we'll get the score chart and say "good thing I did it all for me!"
External validation technically is for you. Sexual strategy is the pursuit of happiness, with the goal of maximizing potential happiness. You cannot write off women just because you suck at them. Let the drive, the feelings of inadequacy, the crippling depression or loneliness DRIVE YOU to succeed. Don't embrace happiness with mediocrity because we live in a hamster culture that lies to everybody and tells you you're good enough and change should only be for you(TM). Change is for success, success (for better or worse) is for validation. Validation is one of many sources of satisfying our evolutionary drives.
If you want to really boil it down, we've been gifted the evolutionary curse of wanting to spread our genes and create as much of us as we can.
Finding inner peace with who you are is an important part of living a happy life. But do not let this lull you into a life of mediocrity because some alphabro on the red pill decided you're working too hard to get pussy, and that you should only be motivated to do it for yourself.
Want to know what successful guys think?
That the hot chick at the bar you could never ever bang? If you want that, you will have to do work. It's not being a slave to pussy, it's fucking putting in the actual legwork to get what you want. For some of you, that means completely fucking changing every little thing about you, getting rid of the gut, clearing your acne, getting a hair cut, getting a job, quitting smoking, working out, and reading some fucking books so you can be more interesting than a chair when you try to have a conversation. There are those that would say "you shouldn't have to change who you are to find love..." You know what I was doing while those people were sitting there diddling themselves? I went out and fucked that hot girl that you could never touch. The guy who does that embraced this. Do not lie to yourself to feel better about not accomplishing what great men have accomplished.
You can keep telling yourself that it's good to be happy with being poor, and only get the job that makes you happy... or you can remember that getting rich is fucking hard work, and it's going to be grueling. And at the end of the day, that hard work is the only way to get the payoff. And that hard work is just satisfying a stupid evolutionary urge to get your dick wet. But that is what we are.
People who score high on a Machiavellian test need no reminding. There is no shame, there is no good, there is no bad, there's no right way or wrong way, there are only those who succeed, and those who fail. What you tell yourself in between will either motivate you, or rationalize your failure. Recognize what you are, set your goals, and stop fucking rationalizing.