Don't know if this is considered a cold approach, but holy shit I just talked to the first girl ever on the street

ImJustSo · 2018-01-19T03:10:00+00:00

Okay there's absolutely things you need to take away from this interaction.

Women don't stand close to men that they're not interested in, they will stay as far away as possible.

Women don't ask questions to men they're not interested in, they try to avoid talking at all costs.

Women don't maintain conversations they're not interested in, they lose interest entirely.

Next time this scenario, or any scenario that has any similarities, you need to act. Move forward. Ask for a number or a date.

You did great, but you need to know what was going on. Start becoming aware of these things. Pay attention, open your eyes and shut down your insecurities. Think with a third person mind and look at it from an outsider perspective.

petriomelony · 2018-01-19T04:26:48+00:00

Well done! u/ImJustSo is totally right though - you know those situations where women are like "god I gave him so many signals but he was totally oblivious?" This is (potentially) one of those situations.

It's good to note that some girls are just friendly, but in the absence of other evidence, assume attraction.

Here's another example for you:

I was standing near a bus stop looking for a schedule or something. A girl walks up to me and asks which bus I'm taking, and when I explain that I have no data to look up the next one she takes out her phone and starts looking it up for me, while we chat about other stuff, including family and more personal things. So far, just friendly (and increasing in rapport). However, she proceeds to stand extremely close to me, to the point where she's actually pressing her body into mine and her cleavage is staring me in the face. This is your cue to escalate. You could approach this in a few ways:

1) Get her number, text her right then so she has yours. If you don't know what to say, my go to is, "hey, what's your number? we should hang out sometime." Ideally, link it situationally to whatever you just talked about (ie: you talked about baseball, say "let's go watch the Jays sometime" or whatever).

2) Instadate. Bit riskier, unless you know she has a clear schedule. You know those stories that girls love to tell about meeting some stranger and getting swept off their feet? Well, you've gotta make it happen if you want that to be the story of how you met. If she has plans, remember that you're just a stranger to her, you get 0 priority if she has other plans already. My go to while travelling was, "I'm going to go hunt down a pub, care to join me?" Obviously depends on what's near you and how close you are to stuff.

3) Arrange plans for another meet. I'm not sure about this as I've never tried it. Might be more effective than just asking for her number? Unsure.

herculesuprising · 2018-01-19T07:34:16+00:00

Congratulations! I feel the comments thusfar have not been positive enough for your situation right now, so here's my contribution.

Whether she was creating the situation to make it as easy as possible for you or not, it doesn't matter, you did it! You have transformed this particular situation from one where you didn't act, to one in which you did. That makes a change of 95% already. At the "conversation was cut short part", that's where you say, "hey, what's your phonenumber, I would like to continue our conversation later". Yes, be upfront, since that shows intent. You like her, and she'll love the fact that you express your desires directly.

As for your insecurities, looking in the eye, stuttering, unstable voice: yes we've all been there. There are two things that I would like to compliment you on here.

First, you demonstrate a large amount of self-awareness. You're making it explicit on what parts you felt shaky. This is very strong, as it provides you with tangible targets to improve on. Think, how can I be more stable in talking (take more time for your words, speak in a lower tonality), or, how can I make better eye contact (looking someone in the eye tells you a lot about their emotions and impressions to what you're saying. Be curious to their emotional inside, and the eyes are a great place to look for expression). I speak in a strong voice and maintain eye contact. Sometimes, intently, I let a silent pause fall after I finished my sentence. When looking someone in the eye right there and then, it creates a great sense of connection and intent. She will be swept off her feet by it, and it will actually be quite interesting how she will step up and cope with it.

Second: "but whatever practice makes perfect". Great attitude. Indeed, you were nervous. I still am as well. It never goes away. To me it just shifts. I'm not nervous about my talking and eye contact anymore, but I am nervous about my physique and my house. Therefore, I am buying furniture and go to the gym. You think Barack Obama is never nervous? Of course he is, it has just shifted topic. Public speaking is something he got down, but launching nuclear missiles is something new to consider. Anyway, on topic, you get less nervous about the things that you mention, but you'll get nervous about bigger things. It is called improvement. And girls love it. So keep the attitude, it's gonna take you a long way.

Cheers man.

flattttttt · 2018-01-19T03:13:09+00:00

I personally consider a cold approach as something that leads to an exchange of contact information. That is still a big accomplishment if you haven’t done that before! You literally only get better by practice, and use that confidence of success going forward! Just word to the wise: it won’t be always rainbows and sunshine, especially when you really push yourself. Don’t let rejection stop you and try to learn from it. :)

From-Paris-with-Love · 2018-01-19T16:04:45+00:00

WTF? You didn't ask her number!

DrBalance · 2018-01-19T14:45:31+00:00

Yeah, just ask for her number next time. You already 'YOLO'd and talked to her, and you should think at the time 'I'm never going to see her again, so may as well ask'.

I did a similar thing once, talked to a girl who was waiting for the same train, got talking to her, got her number and asked her out for some drinks the next week. She came home and slept in my bed, no sex though as she was a virgin at the age of 29 (indian) and I didn't think it was a good idea.

But still. Once you do it once your life changes because now you have proof that YOU can do it and it's not just some man-bun dickhead in a set up youtube video who paid a girl to act interested.

john2kxx · 2018-01-19T20:41:24+00:00

Sounds like she cold approached you, not the other way around. heh

Anyway, at least you had a conversation with her. That's a great start. Good job!

timofyno · 2018-01-19T21:38:35+00:00

This must help. It made me phenomenal with women, girls and ladies as you choose

https://charmmakers.blogspot.com.ng/2017/10/how-to-approach-girls-don-and-dos.html

rxi99 · 2018-01-19T07:20:41+00:00

Should’ve taken the opportunity to ask for her number

Eric-Foreplay · 2018-01-19T04:22:50+00:00

Man this give me hope.

I didn’t talk to the girl I had a chance to today.

L for me

sarasotaelite · 2018-01-19T09:34:18+00:00

Good lad !! It always start like this :-)

Greek-God-Brody · 2018-01-19T14:08:21+00:00

Next time, number/Fb-close her (aka grab her number/Fb).

Stringdaddy27 · 2018-01-19T14:21:06+00:00

I don't want to give you advice for future interactions or next steps as I don't want to overload you. I will say, however, congratulations on stepping outside of your comfort zone. The hardest thing to do is to start, and you took the first steps!

Zoidberg22 · 2018-01-19T19:41:14+00:00

Didn't get any contact info? Even her name??

circlhat · 2018-01-19T21:22:27+00:00

Very good field report, it's the little thing like this that become huge overtime, you are in the right direction, keep up the good work

jester070993 · 2018-01-20T10:02:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Don't know if this is considered a cold approach, but holy shit I just talked to the first girl ever on the street
Author	jester070993
Upvotes	251
Comments	56
Date	January 19, 2018 2:15 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7rf2gc/dont_know_if_this_is_considered_a_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dont-know-if-this-is-considered-a-cold-approach.1440299 https://theredarchive.com/post/1440299

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