As guys, society in general doesn't highlight our looks in the same way they do for women. Women are expected to look beautiful and there is a billion dollar cosmetic industry to help make this possible for them.

I recently got a message from girl I met through day game, where she told me "...you clearly are attractive..." In her mind, it was no question that I was attractive, to women, men, society, whatever. But to me, it didn't feel that way, that my attraction was so obvious. As guys, we just don't hear it. We don't get cat called. Women don't tell us we are cute like we tell them. Instead, we might be called "handsome" time to time, and in our mind underplay its significance.

But "handsome" is just that, it is what we want to be. Etymologically speaking, "handsome" is derived from roots that mean "easy to handle." This is what we are trying to achieve through our inner game. The ability to just go with the flow, not be needy, be comfortable with ourselves, and live our life with a type of ease. That is something I have been working on, and during the date I had with said girl. At one point, she was talking about the energy she feels from guys when she knows they are staring her down. I asked her what energy she got from me, in a playful manner as I called her Professor Xavier with her mind-energy reading abilities. She told me I came off as laid-back, comfortable, and relaxed. This cool-collected behavior was because I am trying to focus more on myself and my own mentality during dates and approaches to women, than the women themselves.

So don't worry about being cute, hot, sexy, etc. We should feel fortunate that men are not subjugated to predisposed genes of looks to determine their attraction to the opposite sex. Sure, looks matter, but not as much as inner game. Keep working on that inner game. That's where the attraction lies. You'd inevitably be handsome. And you likely don't realize that many women already think you are even though they will never tell you because you clearly are attractive. It's just so obvious.

*Update I didn't expect this post to blow up in the way it did. I don't buy the studies that women on average find most guys ugly, maybe if they only focus on the presentation on online dating, but not when they meet you in person. I for one am a 5'9 Pakistani dude, not exactly society's prototypical definition of attractive. But if I could receive the comment above, then I am certain many women think the same about you. While a component of our game is our outer looks, I really think your inner-look of yourself matters much more. Imagine if Brad Pitt was always needy around women, always begging for complements - how attractive would he really be holistically?