Self-worth is gone

Bobby_Digitul · 2024-03-22T02:49:58+00:00

Bruh, make a list of all the things you learned you need to change about yourself....not because she said it but because it's objectively true, other people have confirmed it . Now make a list of qualities you've always wanted to cultivate.

Next take the time to identify things that other people have also said are your strengths and positives.

Her feedback to you is necessarily incomplete and somewhat subjective.

Decide where you want to set the bar for yourself then raise it some more. You are a Bad Motherfucker. You are Worthy of all that you seek in life and your children will be proud that you are their dad. Not because this sounds good, but because you choose it to be so.

craft a new vision with aggressive short term goals. Make a radical shift in your routines to match your new goals. In the next 24 hours you'll be so busy building your new life and holding yourself back from chasing fresh p@$$? you won't have time to think about her ass.

Sthompson1965 · 2024-03-21T23:56:48+00:00

We have all been there, there are multiple feelings that you will go through, we all have. Self care and setting some goals is the key to moving on. If one of them is golf that’s fantastic.

Reflog1791 · 2024-03-21T19:49:30+00:00

You are gonna have a breakthrough. Think about new dreams and goals. So many possibilities for your life. Deeply think about what you want to do.

I went from same boat to happiest guy on earth because I discovered golf. Something I knew very little about is now my raison d’etre. I am happily divorced now because I get to play golf with my parents, siblings, a shit ton of golf buddies etc. I moved onto a golf course and got a golf cart.

These were new dreams that I thought up and executed after divorce and it is very gratifying. Ex didn’t help me do any of it she is in the rear view mirror.

All the best moments of my life have been AFTER divorce.

A regular Thursday looking forward to golf with my best friend this weekend is much much better than my old unhappy family, and I don’t have to deal with any divorce stress anymore.

probebeta · 2024-03-22T17:17:25+00:00

Next time you feel resentful towards yourself, just remind yourself that she probably contributed to things coming to this point too, and also that she left and didn't care. It is a pretty selfish move. Yes there are many days when I feel numb too but I'm learning that this new approach to life serves me better. Actually it is teaching me how to raise my son.

Legitimate-Match2675 · 2024-03-21T19:47:26+00:00

Bro, you’re a stud. We’ve all been there. Put your big boy pants on and go do what you want. Start by getting laid. I think I had more sex in my 2 year process of getting divorced than I did in my 17 years of marriage. It’s weird at first, but it helps. At least it did for me.

malsell · 2024-03-21T17:21:51+00:00

Same here. Just have to keep pushing through it and try do do your best each day

Maseworld · 2024-03-21T16:57:04+00:00

You're good bro. Focus your energy on physical and mental health. Mostly into being a good father. All wounds heal with time.

Ptsdveterannavy · 2024-03-21T05:03:01+00:00

You no longer have to keep thinking the kids are the reason because they are. I realized this late after the divorce because I was still blaming myself for the end of it. In retrospect, vows are said "until sickness and health, for richer or poorer until death due us apart", this is the contract that we(men) sign. No matter the issues or problems, the vows say we're in this together however unto the wife, she's in it until she can get what she feels she deserves. Let it go sir, cut communication unless it's about the kids and even then be cautious. I have a court order that prohibit us to communication only via court app "Family wizard"... They(ex's) it's like holy oil poured on the forehead.. Live your life and live it coddling to who you were before marriage.

Flapique · 2024-03-21T04:33:05+00:00

You're not unique to think that the only thing keeping you here is your kids and that's a good reason to stick around. Sure life is dealt you as shit hand but do you want to pass it on to your kids or do you want to show them what being a man really is about?

TreetopTarantula · 2024-03-21T04:33:01+00:00

Clean diet, gym, no booze, plenty of sunshine/outdoor activities with fresh air will help.

MissionToe3030 · 2024-03-21T04:27:55+00:00

What you’re going through is normal. At times you will lose your self identity. Concentrate on rebuilding yourself and all those bad feelings will pass. Think how lucky you are to be with your kids.

WakeUpAndGoooo · 2024-03-21T04:00:50+00:00

Don't let her get you down! I know easier said than done, and coming from a guy who is several months post divorced and still fights and everyday internal battle over someone that treated him like trash. I was told I was doing nothing with my life, I was stagnant and going nowhere. Come to find out she was cheating when I was hearing this new information. Mind you the truth is I am very successful in my field and singlehandedly financially supported a household and kids. But on the inside I was beat down to the point I started to believe it, if only a little bit.

Take the little wins. You have you to look out for and those kids. You don't say why she dispises you, but I'm not looking for details. Whatever happened you need to get your head right and do right by yourself and the little ones.

Title	Self-worth is gone
Author	Radiant_Chipmunk_616
Upvotes	16
Comments	19
Date	March 21, 2024 3:31 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bjx340/selfworth_is_gone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/self-worth-is-gone.1513237 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513237

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