Ladies, there is NO SUCH THING as being "used for sex."

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-05-14T15:07:14+00:00

Hard to say there’s no such thing as being used for sex when men like to lie and deceive women just to get laid. But let’s pretend that never happens for the sake of argument. Which would you rather see in our society? No sex till marriage or 4B?

Jazzlike_Worth_9908 · 2024-05-14T15:29:47+00:00

Another one ignoring the elephant in the room. Using someone for sex happens when someone is dishonest about his intentions. When she wouldnt have sleep with the guy if she had not be mislead.

Casual sex / hook up is rarely the intent, that's why a lot of guys lie and pretend in order to have sex even though they already know it wont go anywhere else

superlurkage · 2024-05-14T15:59:47+00:00

Sure there is, because men say so, especially in porn

Also “using and abusing”, “pumping and dumping”, “fuck and run”, “hit it and quit it”

Men sure love rhymes

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-14T15:37:08+00:00

There must be no such thing as being "used as a free therapist" then, unless you consider emotionally supporting people as purely transactional and something you "give" to your partner or friend. Emotional support is something you do together and you're not owed a relationship for it.

Lilrip1998 · 2024-05-14T15:50:35+00:00

Hard agree. As long as everyone is honest about their intentions these are no harm no foul situations.

wtknight · 2024-05-14T15:18:54+00:00

There is being deceived for sex, which is what most women are actually complaining about when they complain about being “used”, as this is how they perceive it in their minds.

Some of those deceptions are based upon covert contracts, but those women perceive them as “deceptions” nonetheless.

KayRay1994 · 2024-05-14T15:34:34+00:00

People can 100% be used, “sex is a thing two people do together” is about the worst thing you can say cause at the low end it can justify coercion and manipulation, and at the absolute worst case it can justify rape.

Let’s put it this way, if you’re duped into believing conditions that were dishonest, or pressured into it and feel like you’re cornered, then you’ve been manipulated. If you’re strung along and discarded as well, or are dehumanized or having your personhood reduced, or lied to as a part of the process (ie. manipulated), then you’ve undoubtably been used.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-05-14T15:41:10+00:00

There's no such thing as being "used for a free meal," "used for validation," etc. too. Right, OP?

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FreitasAlan · 2024-05-14T19:08:41+00:00

They're going to tell you they have been used not because of the sex per se but because before sex, the guy showed good intentions to invest in a relationship. This is false, but it's what they'll tell you. And it's untrue for two reasons.

The first reason is that you can't fake investment. You can fake intentions to invest, but you can't fake investment. When they say "Chad" made promises, most of the time, it just means he showed up for a few dates and was polite to her during the sleepers phase. Sometimes, not even that. That's not enough investment to evaluate anything, and they know that because showing up is the bare minimum. It's impossible to have sex without showing. Being polite is also the bare minimum expected in a civilized society, especially towards a person who's having sex with you for free.

The second reason is that if she expects that there needs to be other intentions and investments on his part, then it was transactional. As there's no way to fake investment, the least she could do is evaluate his intentions properly before sex if she is worried about that. The problem is she's not concerned about that because since society moved away from monogamy to whatever you want to call this, there's no incentive to evaluate his intentions from a game theory perspective: 1) not evaluating intentions means getting good sex from Chad now, having a chance of a relationship with Chad, having a relationship with betabux later if plan A doesn't work, and having the government serve as the betabux is plan B doesn't work (at least before we run out of money); 2) somewhat evaluating intentions means the same as (1) but putting more effort, more responsibility, no sex with Chad, and spending much more time (so 2 is worse than 1); and 3) evaluating intentions and only having relationships with serious people would be the same as 1 and 2 because she already has the "betabux" available anyway, with the difference that now she doesn't get sex and a chance with Chad.

So they know what they're doing. When they complain about intentions, men think she made a considerable effort to do 3 and received 1 somehow because he was very manipulative. That's false because you can't fake investment. You can't pretend to have presented her to your parents. You can't pretend you're not hiding her. So when they complain about intentions, what they're actually doing (maybe wrongly but rationally) is 1, and just venting about this extra attempt with Chad not working out.

classicslayer · 2024-05-14T15:12:07+00:00

My thing is this a man doesnt owe a woman anything just because she slept with him. If a woman wants to sleep with a guy she needs to do it because she wants to not because she has ulterior motives like trying to get commitment or something else.

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Competitive-Ask4393 · 2024-05-14T15:31:31+00:00

Some women can be deceived for sex when they’re truely seeking a relationship.

But most of the time it’s a women not wanting to carry around the slut badge after 1 too many nights

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-05-14T16:04:55+00:00

Not always, but "he used me" can be erroneously thrown around as a buzz-phrase to deflect and avoid personal accountability. In this scenario, the woman usually went for a guy with options and failed to get commitment (lost the proverbial "race"); or she failed to vet the guy properly, usually because she was blinded by her goal of taming the guy who is a challenge.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2024-05-14T16:07:23+00:00

I actually agree with you.

Title	Ladies, there is NO SUCH THING as being "used for sex."
Author	ruckfeddit2049
Upvotes	0
Comments	61
Date	May 14, 2024 2:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cru8qe/ladies_there_is_no_such_thing_as_being_used_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ladies-there-is-no-such-thing-as-being-used-for.1518486 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518486

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