Met a cute girl on the street, we share a unique hobby, how not to get friendzoned?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-05-17T04:54:38+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread.

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For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person belong in a Basic Questions Thread. (Currently these are on hiatus, but if we can get them back up, they'll happen weekly.)

bannedcanceled · 2024-05-16T06:54:26+00:00

Bro. Just be yourself. You got a second date its clearly going well.

Smile at her, flirt, break the touch barrier, a simple touch to the shoulder or arm, say this is a nice ring and grab her hand and pretend your looking at her ring. Give her a hug when you see her again also.

Most adult girls over 30 are over the friendzoning stage if she is hanging out with you you are already on the right track.

Good luck man

ImpressiveGrocery959 · 2024-05-16T12:22:59+00:00

When you’re out next time with the cat, if the vibe is there ask if she’d like to grab a drink one day that week. If she says yes, game on.

ZenoGeno · 2024-05-16T18:20:54+00:00

Don't listen to others who say "it's good to have female friends they will introduce you etc etc." It's absolutely not worth it, you are attracted to her and staying close to her will just fuel your emotions and you won't be able to do anything about it. Besides that you'll have to hear yapping about her ex's, or people she's going out with and it'll worsen the problem, with ZERO guarantees she'll introduce you to anyone, none of the female friends I had did any of that, they always said shit like "Oh I don't have many female friends", or they were making sure to introduce me to ones that were in relationships. TLDR Friendzone=Get the hell out of there.

ROBYoutube · 2024-05-16T06:23:49+00:00

You know there's nothing wrong with just being friends with a woman right? A lot of guys panic and think 'FUCK IT, THIS MIGHT BE MY LAST CHANCE, INITIATE CLINGING SEQUENCE' and try and force something that is just not there.

But if there's chemistry, and there seems to be some though that could be because you're typing the story, ask her on a date. Be very direct that it's a date, where two adults see if they want to do intimate stuff, don't hide behind cat walks or whatever.

Weaponized_Nonsense · 2024-05-16T16:13:26+00:00

Make your intentions known but also keep your expectations in check

PetaPotter · 2024-05-16T18:10:38+00:00

Ask her if she has a boyfriend and take it from there. She'll 100% know you're interested after that.

Crixusgannicus · 2024-05-16T23:46:48+00:00

Didn't notice any kino. If you don't start kino/escalating immediate you are dead meat. You are already deep in the danger zone.

I'm not a cat person by I know enough about animals in general to instinctively teleport myself into your shoes and generate a move with a high probability of success.

There is something you can do to a cat that has a high probability of making it purr. I don't know what, but you as a cat person probably do.

Do that to your cat.

If her cat likes you enough for this to be safe, do it to HER cat.

Either way, once the thing starts purring, look at her and smile and say "He/she likes it, don't you think?"

She will surely agree.

Say EXACTLY this word for word. Don't wonder why. Just DO IT.

"That's right and that means I wonder if his/her mommy will like this too (reach over and starting doing it to HER whatever you were doing to that cat AS you are saying what I just said to say.)

Take your time in a hurry (I stole that from the real Wyatt Earp talking about gunfighting).

You don't want to be reaching over fast like you're going to grab her and trigger a bad response, but you don't want to move to slow either. Go in slightly slower than you'd reach out to shake someone's hand.

Now, I'm guessing what you're doing to the cat is somewhere innocuous like scratching behind its ear or something or rubbing the back of it's neck. I'm a dog person and dogs like that.

If you have to rub the critter's belly or something that would be sexual or close to it if you did it too her too soon, just rub her behind her neck or ear or whatever where you can that's not overtly sexual.

Do not say "like it too" specifically say ("like this too").

Now this is the important part, a little while after she visibly starts enjoying it. Ideally enough that her eyes close in pleasure, STOP and start playing with the cat again.

Guarantee she will get jelly.

Wait a beat or two raise your hand halfway back toward whatever you were doing to her and apologetically say "I stopped too soon, didn't I"?

I leave it to you to figure out the rest.

Hmm I'll have to go find a cat lady to experiment with. I despise the bloody things (no offense). But that's too good a bit of tactics to just leave to you, mate.

Best wishes, mon ami!

A1Horizon · 2024-05-16T17:47:54+00:00

Show intentional interest early. As long as you’re not weird about it, either it goes further, or if it doesn’t, there likely was nothing you could’ve done anyway so nothing lost

DaygameCode · 2024-05-16T18:21:15+00:00

You get friednzoned when you hide your sexual interest in the woman and act like her buddy or her brother which is what's happening here. You avoid the friendzone by making things sexually tense which means she must feel like she turns you on. Right now she doesn't think she turns you on because you don't act like you are turend on. You act like she is your good sister or cousin, having great time together, laughing, talking, but never expressing sexual desire because you are afraid it would make things uncomfortable for her and that's precisely why you get friendzoned. Because you don't want to express sexual desire.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-16T11:13:44+00:00

So here is the secret to flirting. Flirting is basically establishing an US doing something together frame. She did that several times. Talking about the two of you going to the park, getting together etc.

Now it's on you to say "Hey, let's go out next Thursday. No cats! Just two sophisticated New Yorkers trying some cocktails at Bar XYZ". Take the initiative and lead. Be very concrete about asking her out. Do not say maybe we can go out some time or what are you doing this Saturday? You tell her "let's go out" or "Our cats have been dating for a couple of weeks now. It's time the two of us went out on a proper date. Let's do Thursday or Friday".

Got it?

SuperPoop · 2024-05-16T14:09:57+00:00

from a woman's perspective, she's probably already made up her mind. be you. be authentic, if she's into you, she'll reciprocate.

Lone_StreetCone · 2024-05-16T18:42:46+00:00

Be upfront and honest. The nsst time you see her tell her, "just for the record, im tryin to avoid the friend zone and score some points for the home team. If you could help me not fuck that up, i would greatly appreciate it."

ApollosSin · 2024-05-16T21:58:28+00:00

"Hey, hanging with you has been fun, I was thinking we get drinks next weekend, no cats. Wanna go?"

yai_9000 · 2024-05-16T22:33:03+00:00

My best advice is — if you treat her like a friend, then she will always be a friend. You need to escalate and show her you’re interested in more. Either by straight up telling her or making a physical (within boundaries) move.

Makakka2002 · 2024-05-17T00:33:35+00:00

You can’t have it all accept. If you want friend go safe route if you want to explore romantic go for it and dgaf if girl is burnt

SithLordJediMaster · 2024-05-17T00:52:45+00:00

"Just because she likes the same bizarro crap that you do doesn't make her yours truly Tom." - (500) Days Of Summer

Hortos · 2024-05-17T01:06:49+00:00

Listen, you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to date her you'll need to tell her because the last thing you want to do is become her friend then a few months from now muster up the courage to confess your feelings to her. Next time you're hanging out you make some concreate plans and ask her out and let her know its a date. This is sounding kinda brooklyny so you've got a lot of street closures and outdoor concerts coming up to make use of. If you're in Manhattan take her to Yakitori Totto its cheap and there's a bunch of places to wander around over there.

themuchc · 2024-05-17T02:34:48+00:00

There's plenty of fish in the sea. If you're trying to date you can't be afraid of failing. Its a numbers game, you get some, you lose some. There isn't going to be one thing that will make her fall in love.

BJ_Blazcowicz · 2024-05-17T04:38:59+00:00

I’d say that if you had a 2 date is because things are going pretty good. But if you don’t wanna get friendzoned, leave the cats thing aside and ask her out for a romantic date.( Try not to talk about the cats) and apply all your knowledge about hitting on her. Heyy and don’t forget to escalate fast. That separates the friendship from a romantic relationship.

Dandys3107 · 2024-05-16T07:32:00+00:00

I guess you can simply start to escalate your intimacy gradually, stay little closer to her, smile, look her in the eyes little longer, ask her about more personal stuff, present yourself as sexually attractive male, introduce some "accidental" and "casual" touch etc. Enjoy developing your relation and observe her reactions if she has something more on her mind too.

mojoo222 · 2024-05-16T11:20:05+00:00

Honestly there isnt much you can do to make sure you dont end up in the friendzone. Just hang out and enjoy the time, see how it feels like and it will work out fine.

That being said, good luck and show cat (theres a tax you know)

Cremo77 · 2024-05-16T13:53:42+00:00

Now only she likes but she also seems to trust you enough to go out with you. Sounds likes she is into you. You only have to keep doing things that both of you like, don't do things that you don't like nor say things that you don't think. Be 100% yourself, if she likes who you are, good. If she doesn't like who you really are, fine too.
ALSO, ask things about her. What she likes, interests, habits, etc. So you also know what kind of relationship you are interested to have with her.
(It sounds like you are a nice person, so please keep being you lol)

SaaSWriters · 2024-05-16T19:11:49+00:00

we share a unique hobby, how not to get friendzoned?

You're already friendzoned.

Your thinking process friendzoned you even before the girl came into your life.

Let her go.

Start meeting new women.

LikeyeaScoob · 2024-05-16T12:57:53+00:00

Imo just be cool, flirt a lil but, but mostly just make her laugh and do the same for everyone else. If u getting vibes she likes u (don’t mistake this for her just being nice) then advance, but honestly bro don’t keep ur hopes up. Not that u shouldn’t have any at all, but don’t get mad at her or bitter towards her if she don’t like u like that. That’s just gon end up making u mad and affect the way u act w her in a negative way. Just b coo and don’t expect ANYTHING from her

ClitPlayaBootySlappa · 2024-05-16T13:14:25+00:00

Just tell her u want to fuck her. And if she's genuinely not interested, to tell you right now.

She already knows the answer. Get her to spill the truth, so you both have peace of mind.

spacemangoes · 2024-05-16T14:10:35+00:00

At some point you need to make a move. If you wait too long, you'll come off as not interested. First find her logistics. Ask her directly or indirectly about her situation, weather she has a man in her life or not. Take it from there. Find out about her. Her childhood, past etc. You can sprinkle these questions whilst talking about cats. Then say something along the lines of "Hey her name_look, I know this is going to sound a bit forward but, I like___ about you. Whatever qualifier you think matches her. Would you like to grab a drink? like, just us two without cats. I'm sure our cats can keep each other company." Optional add, while we go on a date like parents. Just improv a bit depending on her reaction. If, she's not into it, you can just say - No worries, I just wanted to throw it out there" and then continue as normal. If you think you would feel awkward, Ask her before seeing her off. Good luck, brother.

NoMoassNeverWas · 2024-05-16T09:15:46+00:00

I personally hate how mythologized friendzone has become. You have to realize the only reason it happens is guys that show zero sexual interest out of fear of being rejected and so they behave like a friend waiting for the woman to make the first move.

You need to touch, escalate, and actually show interest in her physically.

And again reading these reports, too much thought in what was talked about. It does not matter what you talk about. Let the entire conversation be about cats wanting to knock stuff over, the only thing girls judge you on is how you carry yourself.

So next FR should read "I gave her a deep hug when we met again. I made circles on her arm. I rubbed her shoulder. I curled my fingers in her hair. I kissed her neck" Friendzone would never enter your (or her) mind if you do these things.

PrinceDestin · 2024-05-16T13:24:10+00:00

Imma be honest with you being friends with a woman ain’t that bad, you can play the long game which may not actually be long like you think or you can try to be more aggressive with it, depends on the situation, as long as she hangs out with you and you know how to make those moves and turn her on you are golden

Title	Met a cute girl on the street, we share a unique hobby, how not to get friendzoned?
Author	rydogs
Upvotes	61
Comments	61
Date	May 16, 2024 6:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ct6b8j/met_a_cute_girl_on_the_street_we_share_a_unique/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/met-a-cute-girl-on-the-street-we-share-a-unique.1518630 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518630

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