Going to sex workers.

bluemagex2517 · 2024-07-19T13:04:15+00:00

If you don't care about all the social stigma around using sex workers, then why do you care about the social stigma of being considered an incel?

Being an incel is something you have to self identify as to be anyway. Plenty of men and women are technically involuntarily celibate without participating in the incel community. They're just single and happen to not be having sex. That might be frustrating, but it's no one's business and it doesn't mean anything. It's different when someone actively participates in a suicide idealizing misogynistic hate group like any of the various incel forums on the web.

I suggest not using sex workers because it's morally dubious and super fucking depressing. Whether someone will call you can incel afterwards is pretty damn irrelevant.

Desperate_Key6142 · 2024-07-19T12:50:16+00:00

You would not be considered an incel but you will not address any of the real problems you have.

Hiring a prostitute is the equivalent of duck taping a ship together. It can make the boat last a little longer, but ultimately, your boat is still going to sink.

Also prostitutes will be terrible at getting you ready for sex for the following reasons.

Prostitutes have no reason to tell you the truth about your sexual performance. So they will lie to you, and you will not improve.
Prostitutes have sex so often, and in so many ways that their views of sex are skewed and not reflective of the general population. For example, if you watch pornstar interviews, they will frequently say they like sexual acts that the average woman has no interest in (for example anal, double penetration, etc)
Prostitutes do not care about you the way your partner will so their sexual reactions to you will differ greatly.

Reasonable-Zone-7603 · 2024-07-19T16:18:37+00:00

Like other commenters have already mentioned here, you would not be considered an "incel" for paying for sex work.

But as someone who has dated someone who went down that exact route - it will not help you to get "good in bed". There's a lot of key differences in having a long term partner AND having sex with many different people a few times. You don't get to fully understand body language, mental cues, your own sexual confidence, communication, etc. through sex workers. You learn it through longer term relationships with people. People you aren't paying to be there. Also, there are a lot of nuances with sex workers - that others have described - that will not fulfill this expectation you have to become more sexually "experienced" per say. And I mean experienced in that you will be a person who has good sex consistently. Good sex meaning both parties enjoyed themselves no problems.

I'm speaking from my own experience so please take it with a grain of salt, it does not apply to everyone, but it has some key takeaways.

My most recent ex partner was the most sexually inexperienced out of everyone I'd ever dated. He had gone to sex workers upwards of 30 times from ages 18-23. The reason he first went was to "lose his virginity" and "get it over with". I truly believe he warped his view of sex by doing this. He was not sexually confident, had a warped view of what sex meant with someone you love, and was undeniably out of tune with my body for months. He did not have an understanding of the fundamental things that make someone "good in bed". And he had slept with more people than me! On the other hand someone I'd slept with before him who had only had 1 partner his whole life.. he was by far great in bed.

It's not a numbers game. It's a quality thing. I do NOT recommend going to sex workers to up your sexual prowess.

flipsidetroll · 2024-07-19T16:31:22+00:00

How will you explain it to any future gf? And sex workers aren’t teachers. They will tell you that you’re fantastic. So how will you “learn” anything?

Hate to break this to you but every woman is different. We all have different likes, different kinks, different genitals physically and different sensitivities. But of course, if you’re following redpillers, they actually promote experience as a necessity. When I can assure you, I don’t know any woman who would have sex with any of them. I can tell you that 99.9% of your problem is making sex the endgame. Women are repulsed by that. But please, don’t listen to me. I’m just the fish. Please ask the fishermen, because the story about the big fish that every fisherman tells is of course true, and not just a story.

xvszero · 2024-07-19T11:42:29+00:00

It's hard to say what other people will think of you. Can't worry too much about that. What will you think of you?

I will say that a plan to get good in bed through sex workers feels a bit flawed. And that it will be hard to find a serious relationship in the future unless you just don't tell her this, in which case you won't have a relationship based on honesty and trust.

Schmutzcityusa · 2024-07-19T14:19:15+00:00

You know you can get experience and get good in bed through just having casual sex right? You don’t need to pay for sex. Also, I got better at sex by educating myself in between sex partners. There are great books and video resources out there.

Honeyhoneyandco · 2024-07-19T17:54:59+00:00

Yeahhhhhh idk if future partners would like that. Icky.

I don’t like calling dudes incels. But I’m pretty sure paying for sex is considered incel behavior. There are women out there that want casual sex too, & nothing serious. Why not just do that.

Other_Dimension_5048 · 2024-07-19T19:41:41+00:00

Idk ANY women who will like this fact...

Sorry to be blunt but I'd rather take a virgin than take a promiscuous guy...(promiscuous either by casual sex or worst...prostitution!)...

But I wont slut shame or anything... you do u boo

Edit:

I stalked you (sorry lol)... if you're Indian then honey be prepared to get disgusting looks if ANY girl finds out about this prostitution thing lol... yk our society...

Also about your height issue... if you're in India then you're NOT screwed!!!... 5'3 is doable here...just get jacked to make up for it... MAJORITY women here are like 5'0 to 5'1.... my own cousin is around the same height he does 'extremely well' lol.... so much so that we had to "stop" him🤦🏻‍♀️

ITS A SKILL ISSUE!!!... and that's a good news brother!

FastCardiologist6128 · 2024-07-19T12:16:16+00:00

Women don't want a guy who has been with sex workers because it's exploitation. Sex workers don't wanna sleep with you, you don't really have their consent

Dear-Tank2728 · 2024-07-20T01:44:19+00:00

Who cares about inceldom, what do you get out of it other than a lighter wallet and middling experience. The same amount of money on some toys and some time and elbow grease put into self exploration does wonders for a good nut. Otherwise its intimacy with a woman. are you paying her by the hour to sit and cuddle? Eat a takeout meal nude by the firplace with some nice Moscato? Unless its worth her while or shes got nothing to do after its probably not gonna happen.

Youll get a 1 dimensional experience that you get 95% of beating off. For a good time, theres nothing a vibrating egg, some porn, and edging cant do.

Also the morality aspect is that its hard to know her circumstances. If prostitution was legalized and regulated so that women were mostly independent or the law would protect them (like Nevada) then itd be fine but unless you like in NV or are going to travel there then theres a high chance its a victim of some kind of crime or addiction.

WeedGrowerDeku · 2024-07-20T07:10:52+00:00

I would rather pay an Escort to fuck me,and leave, then put up with another lying, cheating, abusive, bitch who plays games with mens hearts and uses men that aren't abusive. I gave up loving anyone but myself, and I can get my needs taken care of, and not have to put up with any of the other bs.

petesmybrother · 2024-07-20T12:05:08+00:00

Take it from someone who lost his virginity “late”(27).

It doesn’t fucking matter

You wanna stop being an incel? Stop calling yourself one

Key-Sundae1909 · 2024-07-20T12:36:46+00:00

You can keep it discreet so don’t need to worry what other people think of you. My only concerns would be more to do with how you (or me in your situation) would feel. A few things to bear in mind.

1) Why are you doing this? Are you sure it’s purely physical experience and gratification? Or are there other things you are hoping to achieve like connectivity, validation and a self esteem boost? Be mindful of this so you can manage your expectations.

2) When you are in the room with the prostitute and when you walk out after, you will still be you. Same hang-ups, same insecurities and all the same baggage. Only difference is you spent 30 mins with a prostitute. Don’t expect anything too groundbreaking to happen.

3) Don’t do it if you would struggle managing the emotional reaction to a bad experience. You don’t know how you are going to respond. You might get incredibly nervous and end up thumbing in a softy. She might say something callus or not be the person you expect. Can you handle this? Can you handle the a bad experience if it happens? If so, go for it. If you would struggle taking responsibility, don’t.

Reasonable-Zone-7603 · 2024-07-19T16:18:20+00:00

Like other commenters have already mentioned here, you would not be considered an "incel" for paying for sex work.

But as someone who has dated someone who went down that exact route - it will not help you to get "good in bed". There's a lot of key differences in having a long term partner AND having sex with many different people a few times. You don't get to fully understand body language, mental cues, your own sexual confidence, communication, etc. through sex workers. You learn it through longer term relationships with people. People you aren't paying to be there. Also, there are a lot of nuances with sex workers - that others have described - that will not fulfill this expectation you have to become more sexually "experienced" per say. And I mean experienced in that you will be a person who has good sex consistently. Good sex meaning both parties enjoyed themselves no problems.

I'm speaking from my own experience so please take it with a grain of salt, it does not apply to everyone, but it has some key takeaways.

My most recent ex partner was the most sexually inexperienced out of everyone I'd ever dated. He had gone to sex workers upwards of 30 times from ages 18-23. The reason he first went was to "lose his virginity" and "get it over with". I truly believe he warped his view of sex by doing this. He was not sexually confident, had a warped view of what sex meant with someone you love, and was undeniably out of tune with my body for months. He did not have an understanding of the fundamental things that make someone "good in bed". And he had slept with more people than me! On the other hand someone I'd slept with before him who had only had 1 partner his whole life.. he was good in bed.

It's not a numbers game. It's a quality thing. I do NOT recommend not going to sex workers to up your sexual prowess.

Reasonable-Zone-7603 · 2024-07-19T16:18:29+00:00

Like other commenters have already mentioned here, you would not be considered an "incel" for paying for sex work.

But as someone who has dated someone who went down that exact route - it will not help you to get "good in bed". There's a lot of key differences in having a long term partner AND having sex with many different people a few times. You don't get to fully understand body language, mental cues, your own sexual confidence, communication, etc. through sex workers. You learn it through longer term relationships with people. People you aren't paying to be there. Also, there are a lot of nuances with sex workers - that others have described - that will not fulfill this expectation you have to become more sexually "experienced" per say. And I mean experienced in that you will be a person who has good sex consistently. Good sex meaning both parties enjoyed themselves no problems.

I'm speaking from my own experience so please take it with a grain of salt, it does not apply to everyone, but it has some key takeaways.

My most recent ex partner was the most sexually inexperienced out of everyone I'd ever dated. He had gone to sex workers upwards of 30 times from ages 18-23. The reason he first went was to "lose his virginity" and "get it over with". I truly believe he warped his view of sex by doing this. He was not sexually confident, had a warped view of what sex meant with someone you love, and was undeniably out of tune with my body for months. He did not have an understanding of the fundamental things that make someone "good in bed". And he had slept with more people than me! On the other hand someone I'd slept with before him who had only had 1 partner his whole life.. he was good in bed.

It's not a numbers game. It's a quality thing. I do NOT recommend not going to sex workers to up your sexual prowess.

Afrocircus69 · 2024-07-19T13:34:32+00:00

Aye man it’s one of the oldest professions in history just make sure to get tested. Not for me personally but also no judgement from me.

Designer-Arugula6796 · 2024-07-19T19:32:41+00:00

I’ve read some posts from other men who were in a similar situation as yourself, and felt very gross after going to a sex worker. Sounds depressing. Even casual sex is a much different experience from a LTR with someone you really care about. If you go to a sex worker though, wrap your shit 👀

Ok_Commission859 · 2024-07-19T14:41:15+00:00

Relationships have been gone man. Some may think they are in a relationship and they may be but there's always the

Title	Going to sex workers.
Author	MassiveCatHead
Upvotes	10
Comments	74
Date	July 19, 2024 11:31 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1e71hdi/going_to_sex_workers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/going-to-sex-workers.1524694 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524694

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