35yr old thinking about testing the waters.

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2024-08-23T21:55:45+00:00

You deserve to have fun and to get some ass you only love once no more excuses getoutttttt there !!

probebeta · 2024-08-22T00:09:38+00:00

If you're not looking for anything serious then online dating can be good. Hinge worked well for me. Post some good, fit, and maybe buffed photos. I dont think you'll find mother stock or wife material there but for casual dating it's probably fine. If you're dating many simultaneously then they probably are too 😅. If youre positive about it then it can be fun. There will be weird ones, flakes, catfish, rejections, and you'll probably want to reject some that want to get close too soon.

Ultimately I think online dating isn't great for a relationship. These women have a pretty high notch count and probably have a lot of dudes around. Some are good at hiding it but they can only do that for so long. Not only that but it's just extra drama to worry about, but for casual and getting back in the market it's okay.

keencone · 2024-08-21T01:04:09+00:00

Keep your expectations low and make it fun. Don’t overthink it and learn to laugh at the shenanigans.

Play around with your profile pictures and description.

It’s a numbers game, so try and embrace the inevitable rejections - it’s not personal!

Definitely don’t waste your time on prospects that are not engaging with you enthusiastically.

Hire slowly, fire quickly.

The goal here is to re-quaint yourself with the modern dating landscape and interact with a variety of women.

xjeeperx · 2024-08-20T22:28:14+00:00

I’m mid 30s also, and my background is very similar to yours. 2 serious girlfriends, and I married the 2nd one. I think that’s the majority of my problem, I never had any exposure to different types of people. Didn’t know what things to avoid, then one day I realized I’d been with a walking red flag for 10 years.

The dating world is a total shit show right now. I have almost no interest in it what so ever. Between scammers and people who ghost after about 4 messages, I gave up on the apps. I also don’t much go anywhere besides to and from work and the gym, so that doesn’t help much. The thought of ever getting in a serious relationship again where I’ve gotten to know someone, possibly their kids, care about them, and then watching it all fall apart and risking what I’ve started to build is also not appealing.

jimsmythee · 2024-08-20T16:45:42+00:00

I got back into it when I was 42 and newly single. But I gotta warn you, there's so much disfunction out there! I mostly did the apps and I would go on a date with any girl that would meet up with me.

Between the drunks, the pill poppers, the pot heads and the princesses? That knocks out 50%. Then there's the scammers. Anyone who isn't local is 100% scammer. Then there's the time-wasters. Anyone who comes up with excuses not to meet up? They're too skittish to go out on dates.

Then you have the churchees. The ones that just joined a church and drag guys to get them involved in their new church.

Then you have the one that are fresh out of a relationship that are too skittish to let it go anywhere but casual.

Then you have the "rescue me" types. The ones that have made one bad financial decision after another and they're deeply in debt and need someone to bail them out.

Then you have the "no time at all whatsoever" types. They're the one that work full time, go to school full time, and have kids. They have zero time whatsoever. But they get pressured by family and friends to "go out there and meet someone!"

And then finally? There's the "not good enough!" types. Those are the princesses. They'll do their best to bleed you dry with fancy meals, night clubs, expensive clothes, etc.

In a nutshell? Be prepared for a lot of rejection -- either by you or by them.

jammybastard · 2024-08-20T16:15:17+00:00

Read “Atomic Attraction”. That will get you ready for the dating world you are entering. Covers everything, how to navigate it & how to not repeat the mistakes you made in your marriage.

Own_Saucer1993 · 2024-08-20T15:44:51+00:00

Give Dr. Robert Glover’s: Dating Essentials for Men a read. If you have Spotify premium they have it available as an audiobook. Gives a good overview on how to navigate the dating world.

I’d recommend reading that first then venture into the dating world. I came across the book on my second month of getting back into dating, and felt way more equipped with the knowledge gained when comparing my dating style during month one.

captainchippsixx · 2024-08-20T15:41:25+00:00

Start with tinder. Go into it it’s a distraction and have fun. Keep your profile simple. Goal is practice and get use to see red flags so you can avoid those women. If your gut says run away, listen to it!

only meet for a drink and first meeting!
wear protection, dispose of your protection!
don’t respond to messages quickly.

Probably guys have better tips than I do. You’re going to have some good stories after this. Again it’s just a distraction.

Bretweir_jerky · 2024-08-20T15:40:08+00:00

If you do go the app route, don’t take it personal. You can read here about what that experience is like for 90% of men. And wrap it up!!!!! Always! What they tell you they do will be shocking and that’s only a small percentage. When you see your exwife on there don’t be surprised and DO NOT SWIPE RIGHT!!! Also don’t text her and mention it etc; you don’t want to know. If you go the arranges by friends route expect the same if it’s someone you’ve never met before. Most divorced women are dating quite a few men and intimate with more than 1. Take your time, don’t spend money on dinners and activities and all that nonsense. Coffee. Put up with the interview and expect nothing

Immediate-Chance2060 · 2024-08-20T15:37:01+00:00

Come to Costa Rica and meet a good woman there!

NohoTwoPointOh · 2024-08-20T15:22:34+00:00

Who is the prize in a dating relationship at our age?

How you honestly respond will tell a lot.

ColdEstablishment172 · 2024-08-20T15:12:58+00:00

The only way is to dive right in bud. 🤙

Bernie51Williams · 2024-08-20T15:02:56+00:00

Worthless

Title	35yr old thinking about testing the waters.
Author	MrGlass0
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	August 20, 2024 2:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ewxo5z/35yr_old_thinking_about_testing_the_waters/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/35yr-old-thinking-about-testing-the-waters.1527790 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527790

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