What are some of the ways in which we shame each other's dating preferences

Fan_Service_3703 · 2024-09-20T16:03:08+00:00

A lot of our dating decisions can be constrained by the pushing of our friends/acquaintances family.

A female friend of mine who works in a high paid corporate position dated an electrician who earned decent money in his own right but nowhere near as much as her, and faced a huge amount of pressure and prejudice from her own friends to get someone who "can take care of her". Eventually she caved into that pressure and ended the relationship, and to this day she deeply regrets it.

A male friend of mine dated a woman with a masculine haircut who dressed in an "unfeminine" way. He found her very attractive but his friends would constantly say he's dating a lesbian and that they'd never date someone who "looked like a man". Again he caved in and ended it, and deeply regretted it.

Aggravating-Part9 · 2024-09-20T17:15:54+00:00

I mean. I’ve been called lots of names for telling a girl I’m not interested. Verbal abuse, reputation destruction.

HolidayInvestigator9 · 2024-09-20T18:50:56+00:00

I dunno why but I used to feel like it was embarassing being with an overweight woman? I dont know who was shaming me for it maybe it was a self shame

Cunnin_Linguists · 2024-09-20T17:18:24+00:00

Any preference a man has is shamed unless it's exactly a female preference (college education, income, being tall)

IdiAminD · 2024-09-20T16:26:57+00:00

Men - constant whining about women wanting best guys(duh - we all want the best)

Women - whining about men being too indiscriminate(men do not have luxury of choice, its stupid to waste opportunity)

man-frustrated · 2024-09-20T16:24:02+00:00

Man dates younger woman -> he's manipulating her/exercising power over her/can't get women his own age/he'd date underage if it was legal.

In reality women shame men for dating younger women because they resent the fact that their value depreciates with age, but that doesn't give them cover to shame men for it, so they make up the things I describe above.

Dry-Ad3452 · 2024-09-20T16:41:48+00:00

Women shame men for preferring healthy, fit women.

Women shame men for preferring virgins or women with low Ns

Women shame men for being an average-earner

Women shame men for being sad or expressing emotional doubt

Women shame men for being below 6ft

Women shame men for preferring women who are not argumentative and/or combative

AngeCruelle · 2024-09-20T18:11:06+00:00

I've definitely gotten some less than accepting comments both irl and on the internet for dating interracially. It's not even a preference of mine. When your race makes up like 12% of your nation's population it's not outlandish to fall for people outside of that group.

In terms of motivations to do this, I think it comes from various sources. Jealousy, possessiveness, historical baggage, and so on.

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Jaded_Bad2224 · 2024-09-21T07:10:53+00:00

people will shame just about any preference they don't fit themselves. especially if it's a preference from someone they deem undesirable or less desirable than they think they themselves are.

in reality though a lot of preferences are an attempt to compensate for something you yourself lack. i am not going to elaborate but i am certain the people here will be able to think of many different examples of these kinds of preferences where you want the opposite of what you are, especially when the opposite is more socially desirable.

they know the traits they possess have put them at a disadvantage for attracting someone with the opposite, more desirable trait. they think if they pull it off other people will see them in a better light, but if anything they would just end up tarnishing the person they end up with socially.

however, rather than mockery, perhaps they deserve society's collective pity instead. i rarely hear people here comprehend the futility and tragedy that comes with never being enough no matter what you do. of trying to fill a hole of insecurity that is bottomless, an unfathomably deep level of self loathing. of fighting against nature itself; the inescapable horror that at the end of it all, every living being dies alone.

DapperDan1929 · 2024-09-21T17:39:12+00:00

Stinky cheesy toe love shame

happylittlefaerie · 2024-09-24T00:33:22+00:00

My partner is much older than I am and I have heard in jest and seriously: that I am a gold digger and that I have daddy issues. It’s not that deep, I love a zaddy 🫦

happylittlefaerie · 2024-09-24T00:33:29+00:00

My partner is much older than I am and I have heard in jest and seriously: that I am a gold digger and that I have daddy issues. It’s not that deep, I love a zaddy 🫦.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-09-20T20:46:02+00:00

Women are accused of only loving men for what they do, not who they are if they expect their partner to offer any kind of benefit to their lives whatsoever.

Men plead for "honesty" from women, only to attack them for giving it - calling them liars or virtue-signalers depending on what they say.

Women who want hot guys are called shallow, superficial, delusional, and unrealistic.

Actually that's any woman who expresses a desire or preference for any physically attractive trait, be it height, muscles, dick size, whatever. The only acceptable way to be honest is to say you'd gladly have no physical attraction standards whatsoever, but you'll still be called a liar secretly pining for Chad if you've never actually dated a 5'2" balding Indian janitor.

Women who don't want to financially support men are called golddiggers and assumed to be in their "beta bucks" era.

Women dating based on sexual attraction and sexual dimorphism is called "hypergamy," whereas men dating based on sexual attraction and sexual dimorphism is not. Furthermore, hypergamy is gaslit as being a morally neutral "observation" of female mating patterns, but used as a slur in reality - one that conveniently only applies to women dating the exact same way men do.

toasterchild · 2024-09-20T16:51:45+00:00

Most of the time I see shame used it's being directed at someone who is being insulting when stating their dating preferences. Shame begets shame. Sure someone who says "i prefer tall men" might get shamed but it's way more likely if she instead says "short men are disgusting, I laugh in their faces". Or instead of saying "i prefer to date someone with similar values to myself" the person goes on to totally insult people who have different values.

I don't think it's typically about what you desire as much as it is about what sort of a dick you are when talking about it.

Title	What are some of the ways in which we shame each other's dating preferences
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	4
Comments	51
Date	September 20, 2024 6:05 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1fl5auk/what_are_some_of_the_ways_in_which_we_shame_each/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-some-of-the-ways-in-which-we-shame-each.1530881 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530881

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