Unreasonable STBX

SuspiciousWeekend284 · 2024-11-07T00:07:19+00:00

Is this the husband or the mistress writing? The joys of an affair always come out in the settlement. You helped destroy someone’s marriage, now he has to face the consequences. Pity, she’s not suing the mistress for alienation of affection.

jkw118 · 2024-09-26T00:10:17+00:00

So 1st see what your lawyer says.. And question how she can demand more then you have.

2ndly Divorce will F your finances no matter what you do. (assuming you don't have kids, it won't be as bad)

So since she has a job, it's your job + her job /2 kinda.. unless she makes a ton less then you. If your about even (hopefully) then your in luck.. and she's SOL.

MY ex ran up 30K in debt.. I ended up paying the debt, and buying her half of the house. when she left it was 1K in equity, when I finally got the courts and her to agree to crap. it was 50K I ended up giving her a check for. Covid, her and her lawyers dragging it out. And yeah it should have counted when we filed.. But whoa in my state if your a guy that doesn't matter..

So assume your getting f'd..

As to the threats.. Record any and all, as well as document them. Courts are used to hearing the BS.. But stay middle of the ground and calm about it. As if you get pissed and retaliate they'll just go after you. If she's threatening it, it doesn't matter if you give her money or not she'll find a reason/excuse to do it anyway.

My ex's lawyer wrote a ton of crap, that none of it was reasonable... And guess what they don't have to be. She show's up and says I want x and y, and pie in the sky.. Lawyer is like okay your paying my $$$ sounds perfect whatever you want. They don't try and talk clients into less, it's all about talking them into more, that way their will be more arguments and more money for them.

Take what they wrote, have fully written responses/ offers instead.. My ex tried the car insurance and costs to me. I wrote a whole paragraph that I will agree to paying her car costs, if she pays for mine. Otherwise I expect that we will each be responsible for our own car and it's associated costs for their use. (which includes gas etc...) I also mentioned that if she proceeded to require that I provide her travel expenses, then the court would more then likely accept any choice of transportation for her. ie here's your monthly bus pass. (she removed the whole car thing)

Anything she says/does make sure you video record it, and with you mentioning in the recording if your in private that you will be recording it. if she doesn't like it she can leave. All communication should be via text..

Content-Class1259 · 2024-09-25T01:23:41+00:00

It’s sad, but divorce is going to cost you either way. You need to spend some money on a good lawyer to save money in the end. They are all “fair and reasonable” while they are getting their own way, as soon as you challenge that you become a deadbeat piece of shit. Not sure about how it works there, but I’m sure my lawyer and her lawyer conferred on what a crazy person they were dealing with.

FUMoney · 2024-09-24T11:04:27+00:00

End mediation. Trial date.

Exciting-Pomelo1227 · 2024-09-24T09:40:57+00:00

I'm in this same situation, in California.

We're supposedly headed for mediation, and she's asked for what amounts to 90% of my take home pay as support. AND they have my income and bank statements, so they know what my take home has been for the last 3 years.

My lawyer is calm and cool while I'm losing my shit, and she's just very steady - "No, this is not acceptable, No, we will not be doing that, Yes, he's ready to go to trial if we can't settle at mediation". It calms me down when I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Let the system do its work. The judge will most likely adjudicate everything appropriately, and they've seen every psycho game in the book, so nothing she does would be a surprise.

I'm not sure why they do this. Maybe it's because we as men have sheltered them from the reality of the economic realities of life, maybe it's "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", maybe they're just stupid. I think mine is definitely all three.

Good luck, stay strong, hang tough.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-09-24T07:41:23+00:00

Go to court. You'll burn more money with endless offers, settlement conferences, etc. than you will by going to court. If she won't be reasonable, let the judge show her how. Tell them they have three days to come back with a reasonable offer or all bets are off. They're being stupid and you're being weak. It's only uncontested if you give her exactly what she wants, and if she's making unreasonable offers, she wants to punish you a while before she let's you out of the marriage.

crankyrhino · 2024-09-24T05:16:17+00:00

I just went through an uncontested Texas divorce and this sure does seem contested to me.

Lies_Still_Untold · 2024-09-24T03:13:07+00:00

Record everything. Texas is a one-party consent state and judges love to hear financial extortion. Don’t tell her, just record.

techrmd3 · 2024-09-24T01:40:14+00:00

it sounds like you need to counter file and start a contested divorce

look man, all the divorce attorneys in Texas will say this, until you take the power away from the divorce terrorist and give it to the judge you will always be held at knife point.

Don't play games get a counter petition, do contested and just resign yourself to a final hearing in 1 1/2 years or so depending on county

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2024-09-24T01:19:32+00:00

I am going to say this is good ol plain English. Fuck that. She is out for blood. Mine is as well. Well, it’s funny. With divorces, we see the real them. I am done contesting mine- she wanna destroy everything for the kids- let it be. Let the court order the 50-50. 3 times already that she revised the condition. Sadly, that’s how women see divorces- “it’s time to make money”. Know what’s funny,last year- I was a self made millionaire. Today, I am flat broke as she froze all my assets. Yes,I have no problem getting my food from food pantries. I was homeless twice and will rebuild once this “wonderful wife” is out of my life.

captainchippsixx · 2024-09-24T00:28:26+00:00

She will continue to try to bull doze you Brice your not telling her to fuck off with the stupid requests. Call some attorneys, consult with one so you have a clear picture of what a judge will like to see.

Don’t have anything in text or email with her blackmail threats? Judges hate that!

jimsmythee · 2024-09-23T21:04:24+00:00

She is saying this; "Be 100% unreasonable at first. Then see if he'll agree something to something 75% unreasonable." You can always threaten, "you know, we aren't going to come to an agreement. We probably have to go to trial." That's what I had to do to my exwife.

My exwife tried doing that. But she was 100% serious that she wasn't going to settle for anything less than everything - full custody, maximum alimony and CS, my house, my car, etc. Mediation went nowhere. All totaled up? It was more than I make, even my gross wages. I asked her about it, and her reply was, "You can get a second job! And your mom can help you out." This was her saying she was "too sick to work". So we had to go to trial.

Even up on the witness stand? She was going full force on "too sick to work" and wanted 50% of my take home pay in alimony. All totaled up? Still more than I make. On the witness stand my lawyer asked her about that, "how is your STBXH supposed to live?" And her reply was "I don't know. This is just what I need."

2 months later, decree in hand. Judge ruled in my favor on everything. She got $0 alimony and I got everything else.

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-09-23T20:21:42+00:00

She sounds like a real headache lol . Here are some thoughts:

A Texas is all about that 50/50 split so Your ex's crazy demands probably WONT fly in court.--->Stand your ground on the 50/50 split. Don't cave to the WILD demands for gas money and rent
Document everything. Every text, email, voicemail - save it all. You never know what might come in handy btw. Make sur whatever messages exchange u used with her have some cloud-based backup in case u lose your phone
If possible, Let the lawyers do the talking. It'll save you some sanity& brain cells
If possible Have your lawyer hit back with some counter-offers that actually make sense+ Tell your lawyer about the threats. That shit's not cool and could actually help your case.Court sucks, but keep it as a backup plan. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Maybe try mediation? Sometimes a neutral third party can knock some sense into people.
Lock down your finances. Make sure she can't mess with your accounts or credit & share account etc.
Take care of yourself, man: lift & do some cardo

--->Your lawyer's your MVP here. They'll know how to handle this circus. Hang in there, stick to the facts, and don't let the trickster do mind games that get to you. Good luck!

azwildcat74 · 2024-09-23T19:58:59+00:00

Perfect example of where there's no such thing as amicable divorce.

TXJohn83 · 2024-09-23T19:53:23+00:00

Mediation is not going to work if she does not want to settle... If you don't have kids have your lawyer file your statement of assets, and a proposed division as a settlement offer. Then ask your lawyer to file for and ask for your legal fees(since the ex is not willing to settle), at that point you want to just get it before the judge as fast as you can.

" pay for her gas and rent and all her medical bills"- this is flat out not going to happen.

darealyst · 2024-09-23T20:25:04+00:00

Your lawyer should have informed you when you retained them that any communication goes to THEM first, and is then relayed to the opposing party.

Title	Unreasonable STBX
Author	CommonInteresting507
Upvotes	13
Comments	22
Date	September 23, 2024 2:13 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fnlg4d/unreasonable_stbx/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/unreasonable-stbx.1531162 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531162

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