Letting her stay at the house (CA)

Lucky_Pie2709 · 2024-11-09T10:03:51+00:00

He cheated on his wife.

PM-Me-Milwaukee · 2024-11-02T14:42:32+00:00

Nope. Do not leave. She's manipulating you to gain the upper hand.

modernmanagement · 2024-11-02T00:08:32+00:00

You child needs both of you. Co parenting 50/50 would be the best outcome really.

AllTheGoodys · 2024-11-01T23:59:52+00:00

This is really sad to hear. Children always change a relationship and people don't realise how much a child can change a relationship. What is it that isn't working? Different parenting styles? Is she going through PPD? Do you find yourselves exhausted all the time? Is there time for you two to be a couple? If you haven't don't couples counselling i would give it a go. If there is conflict in parenting go to some parenting classes. You could still be in the zone to save your marriage and family if you are both open to it. If you do counselling you both are probably going to hear things you don't like, but it's important to overcome that so you can become a team. If it fails, then it's important you both engage with lawyers to divorce. Good luck.

Feveronthe · 2024-11-01T23:42:09+00:00

Go to a lawyer immediately. Each state/nation has different laws in regard to separation or divorce. Your spouses opinion not always the best for you. Also depends alot on your financial situation. Some couples must sell the house in order to have enough money to move on.

warwww · 2024-11-01T23:35:38+00:00

So sick of men doing this nonsense. KIDS NEEDS THEIR FATHERS, not stepdads, not boyfriends, not flings, not “male friends”, not acquaintances.

Geeesh. You are no less of a parent. Take a look at the prisons, most of the inmates there grew up without a father in their lives.

Why are you leaving your child behind again?

I can assure you, you are putting your child in a worse off position.

I have yet to meet another man that would wade through another man’s toddler’s dirty diapers, clean up their vomit when they’re sick, stay up with them until 6am, etc…. Be with your child as long as you can until you’re able to have parenting time set by the courts.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-11-01T23:26:52+00:00

Move out so she can move the new guy in?

Fuck that my man.

You stay there until the house is sold.

Amazing_Composer_844 · 2024-11-01T22:35:13+00:00

Be aware, when you refuse to move out, her attorney will advise filing false police reports of DV, they will also antagonize you, file for restraining orders, try to turn common friends against you. It is the playbook. As hard as it is while emotionally compromised, open your eyes wide. Prepare and protect yourself. It is your house, do not leave voluntarily, but also don't do anything foolish to provide cause for your removal. The lies and allegations will come. Be impeccable with your word, keep a recording device going if conversing, text or email as much as possible instead of face to face interaction. Also be prepared to be manipulated with sex, that may also become a tool to try and influence you. It will all be false and malicious. Doesn't mean she won't use it to her advantage.

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-11-01T22:30:54+00:00

⚠️DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE⚠️ unless a judge orders it. Repeat that to yourself 10 x. Seriously.

Once you're out, she becomes the primary caregiver by default. You're suddenly the "weekend dad." or "walking purse"

* Her 👹lawyer might tell her to drag this divorce out for years bc your financial support for her. BUT If you stay, she'll want to speed up the divorce. If you leave, she's got NO incentive to hurry.

* Worst case: You're paying for a house while she brings in the new BF living in it (real example: Sarah Jane parkinson bring home his BF with his 3 kids)

* Don't fall for her suggestion that you should move out, claiming it's better for everyone but likely only beneficial for her. Remember, kids often recall the parent who left the family home.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-11-01T21:15:13+00:00

Hahaha. Tell her “it’s in our child’s best interest if you move out”.

Dad’s are as important as mom’s

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-11-01T20:40:17+00:00

You better record all interactions with her.

She may try to draw the DV card against you.

pk2at · 2024-11-01T20:34:54+00:00

Your primary residence is always considered marital property by default. In fact the idea of community property came about with the intent of not driving the woman out of the house during divorce. Therefore leaving your primary residence means you'll have to continue paying for it. Its quite easy for her to get a temporary order asking you to continue payment. This will also supersede any agreement you may have made with her.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-11-01T20:31:58+00:00

according to my wife, for our child’s best interest, it would be best if I moved out.

DO NOT MOVE OUT. Its in HER best interest to 1. get you out and 2. have you pay for everything (and i mean everything). Once you move there is no reason to move the process along and every reason to draw things out and syphon cash out of you.

She said I would be responsible for property taxes and help with bills.

Half the mortgage/prop taxes but thats IT. No utilities (phone, gas, elec, water).

Child support is based on OVERNIGHTS (as well as income of the parents, insurance costs) and with a one year old the child would VERY likely not go anywhere else.

As much as it sucks you're gonna have to ride this out. IF she wants the house she will have to pay out your equity to you, and how she does it isnt your concern. If she cannot afford it it would be sold.

silmarp · 2024-11-01T20:22:43+00:00

Don't move out. If you do she can file abandonment and that's bad news. Unless you have a signed agreement never move out.

domgamepat · 2024-11-01T19:46:54+00:00

Do not move out or let her set the terms of how things will go moving forward. Speak to your lawyer before doing anything.

Title	Letting her stay at the house (CA)
Author	Good_Necessary_6937
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	November 1, 2024 7:34 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ghdufd/letting_her_stay_at_the_house_ca/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/letting-her-stay-at-the-house-ca.1534024 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534024

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