Decided to divorce after 19 years

Appropriate_Wrap5890 · 2025-06-17T19:52:10+00:00

So, update. Been divorced two months now. Best decision of my life. Stress levels are at zero, I’ve naturally become more fit, I’m meeting healthy people, and my kids (who were doing awesome before) are thriving emotionally. Just saying, if someone is on the fence, and you have tried everything to work it out, there is light on the other side. Life is short, no need to stay miserable for most of it.

BatGuano52 · 2024-11-02T06:37:57+00:00

Don't feel shitty, embrace the happiness and enjoy it. You don't deserve to be miserable because she is.

I filed back in June after 22 years and I am much happier. There have been a bunch of rough spots because I was (and still am) in love with some part of her, but there was another part of her that was just an asshole.

And get yourself something to do that has some sense of purpose.

I retired from the ANG 4 years ago, after 27 years in, and not being in anymore was affecting me more than I realized.

There's a whole pile of bullshit that you legitimately don't miss, but there is a sense of purpose and camaraderie that you lose and you may not consciously notice it, but it's to there.

Congratulations.

Classic_Dill · 2024-11-01T12:26:55+00:00

At some point, it’s only the wasted years that bother you, I’m completely indifferent to her cheating, not that it doesn’t bother me, but I’m just indifferent. I don’t give a shit anymore, after 27 years I haven’t heard her voice in 3 1/2 years, laid down hard boundaries as soon as we were divorced, and she was shocked by it!

Peace_and_Love40 · 2024-10-31T17:25:07+00:00

She’s probably writing the same stuff on r/Divorce_Women 😂

Mangrove43 · 2024-10-31T09:16:47+00:00

It will take a while. Take care of yourself mentally and physically, and your kid. Down the road you will feel the peace and it will be nice

No_Chart_9237 · 2024-10-31T06:09:15+00:00

It gets better in some ways. Worse in others. I’ve had innumerable experiences with plenty of great women I would’ve otherwise missed out on. I was married 8y. Divorced for 5y already. 2 kids. 50/50 custody. I was just taken back to child support court. Now I pay $782/mo. I’ve had a hard time sticking it out in longer relationships and it probably has to do with lingering fears it could all happen again. Seek out therapy. Enjoy the journey.

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2024-10-31T05:42:29+00:00

Peace, tranquillity, not having to listen for hours to drama stories from her workplace/Church/hobby group or even her drama TV show recaps = priceless

ElFrijole · 2024-10-31T04:25:10+00:00

Welcome to happiness brother !!!!!

kimboslice3345 · 2024-10-31T03:33:25+00:00

What made you finally say enough is enough.

Boomhower113 · 2024-10-31T03:32:23+00:00

Same story here, man. I spent 12 years of misery before she finally filed.

I know you’re hurting and you’ve got a tough road ahead for about a year. The divorce process is fucking terrible. But, the other side of it is pretty great in comparison.

modernmanagement · 2024-10-31T03:19:26+00:00

People grow apart. Welcome to the majority.

big4huh · 2024-10-31T03:14:26+00:00

Good for you! Hope it is all uphill from here on out.

Title	Decided to divorce after 19 years
Author	Appropriate_Wrap5890
Upvotes	59
Comments	37
Date	October 31, 2024 3:04 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gg4ydm/decided_to_divorce_after_19_years/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/decided-to-divorce-after-19-years.1534040 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534040

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