Accused of Sexual Abuse of my Children

New_Knowledge_3991 · 2026-03-03T11:06:26+00:00

Christopher’s Flowers

New_Knowledge_3991 · 2026-03-03T11:05:55+00:00

My ex’s wife in Fairfax Station did the same thing. I have nothing to hide. She’s a cunt.

imtootiredxx · 2026-01-15T19:13:57+00:00

My fiance is going through this with my son and he even gave the reasons as to why he lied

What ever happened with you and your case?

Next-Illustrator7493 · 2026-01-14T20:16:52+00:00

Ok. I know a lot about this.

1) It ain't gonna be 6 months my friend. CPS will keep this going for YEARS unless you are somehow able to convince them your ex is 110% lying. Usually CPS will substantiate the claim if you're a guy. And when they do, your odds of a successful appeal are about 15% at best. DO NOT talk to CPS without your lawyer present. I know it seems like the honest thing to do in your situation. So did your marriage proposal and how did that work out? The police will dismiss the claim within a few weeks, but unfortunately, CPS is like God and they follow their own commandments. Frankly, CPS is evil and should be dismantled. Half of black kids are on their roles. LITERALLY HALF! Are we suppose to think half of black parents are abusive?

2) Do not text her. EVER. I know a lot of stuff will say "written communication only." Terrible advice. You will get pissed off and she will editorialize and partial screenshot everything you write. She probably records everything you say so just bear that in mind too.

3) Don't let her in your house. I know you want to see the kids somewhere other than a pizza restaurant, but she will take pictures of anything she can to try and make you look bad. Prescription meds, beer caps, a loose doorknob...anything.

4) She is trying to destroy you. She wants you in jail. Never forget that. Because the second you step off that bus, every prisoner in there knows what you were accused of. It's a death sentence.

5) Your kids love you. So just hang on, for them.

6) Get therapy. The court will want to see that regardless.

Potential_Dig_8917 · 2025-10-23T16:47:27+00:00

Any good news?

NTF1x · 2025-08-08T19:25:44+00:00

OP- how did everything work out ? Currently in this as well. 4-5 CPS reports made. Multiple interviews, multiple invasive exams and all unfounded.

Court currently is ruling pending the outcome of the trial and limited my time in the best interest of the child.

Potential_Dig_8917 · 2025-08-01T00:42:14+00:00

I personally experienced it. I am female. I had twin boys that were 9 at the time. We had been in a custody battle for almost 2 years. Everything was fine until the State started to hang jail time over my ex's head because he owed 46,000 in back support. I wasn't requesting it. I never once did. I just accepted that he works on cars for cash and I'll never see it. So when he was faced with jail time instead of pay something he and his paralegal girlfriend decided to challenge me for custody. They got really nasty. She would follow me around and they would make allegations I was unfit. He had an unlimited amount of legal counsel as the lawyer that employed his girlfriend was representing him. They were trying to drain me and filed motion after motion. The visitation schedule was every Tuesday and every other weekend. My boys lived with her as they always had. We split when they were 9 months old and remained friends and coparented until he started dating his current girlfriend. That is when things got really bad. I was working for a numismatic coin company at the time and making 6 figures for the first time in my life. I would buy Morgan silver dollars off people on Craigslist so I usually had a couple hundred dollars in my purse at all times..

One day one of my sons came home from the park crying saying his twin would not buy him anything from the gas station but that he was buying all the other kids anything they wanted and that he had been stealing 100 bills out of purse. I was in shock and livid but what I was met with from the son that stole it was a f##k you mom. I grounded him for a month. I called his dad and asked him to acknowledge that when he was visiting. That was a Monday. Tuesday they left in the morning for school and their dad picked them up. I would see them again on Wednesday when they got off the bus. But they didn't get off the bus that Wednesday. Instead A CPS worker with the county approached my door and told me that I was being investigated for sexually touching one of my sons and that my boys were staying with their dad and that an ex parte restraining order was granted against me for the safety of the children. My son that I had grounded had made an allegation that I " touched his leg" . Nothing more nothing less. My son would not have to be grounded for a month now. Because he got to stay with his dad now. That is how absolutely blindsided I was. I died inside that day. I knew that he had been coached to say that. His dad and girlfriend finally found something to accuse me of that would stick, at least long enough for them to get an exparte restraining order and assume sole legal and physical custody. And my son would not have to be grounded for a month.

I cannot explain what that did to me in that moment. I was in disbelief but much more. I was never even investigated or charged with anything. I went to the police dept looking for answers and they said they were not investigating it because it seemed scripted and coached and when they interviewed my son without his father he claimed he couldn't remember what happened. But there was an exparte restraining order in place and I could not see my kids. At the time I didn't really fully believe/ understand the actual rules of a restraining order. I called my boys sobbing only to get their dad's VM. I asked that they call me and told them I loved them. I was arrested the next day and thrown in jail for the first time in my life on the charges of violating a restraining order. And I lost it. I lost my sanity. I was blank. I could not believe or accept that this was happening to me. I went from jail to the psych ward and missed the court date for revisions on the restraining order. But it was recognized that I had violated the restraining order. I was not there to be able to contest the order. My kids fathers lawyer asked the courts to extend the restraining order until the boys were 18 years old. They are 10 now when this event took place. And I didn't see or speak to my boys for 8 years. I was admitted to the hospital for suicidal thoughts and when I got out I lost my job. I have never to this day worked a ft job since. I started drinking heavily I lost my house and moved into my mom's. I tried meth and I stopped drinking. It made me numb to the world. When my boys turned 18 it didn't take them 2 days, and they were trying to get a hold of me. Reuniting with them was surreal. It was something I couldn't believe I was having to experience. My little boys didnt show up to reunite with me. Instead two grown men that I didn't know did. That's the short story version. It was obviously the most devastating thing. It is hard to mourn the loss of your twin boys that weren't dead.

My heart hurts for you.

OldRooter_06 · 2024-12-15T02:55:52+00:00

How are you holding up OP

tadoo2002 · 2024-12-09T00:14:29+00:00

Going through this now. Divorce was final 16 days ago with 50/50 and now my ex wife filed a TRO for sexual abuse and motion to change the custody order.

We have court Tuesday, I am so tired.

JonathanApple · 2024-12-05T13:35:03+00:00

Just wanna say good luck brother, that is the worst of the worst and have feared my ex pulling something.

Hammerhead87 · 2024-12-04T23:44:54+00:00

I went through this last month after we had a 3 day trial for divorce. My ex wasn't going to have our children on her birthday so she pulled this stunt. One of the big things that saved me was the Ring cameras I have in my house. I know this won't help you for this but when you beat these accusations, get them for you and your children's protection. I had video from the entire day on multiple cameras. It also helped that this was her third restraining order with multiple lies and the second time I had proof she coached our children to do something. Her lies were so blatantly distorted that it was easy to see through them. I was honest and explained the whole situation to child welfare services. My lawyer also drafted a document for the social worker about her antics during the entire divorce. Not only did it get dismissed with prejudice but the next week I got sole custody of our children and she only gets a few weekends a month. Stay positive even though it sucks. I've missed 8 weeks with my children this week from various tactics she's pulled.

Skaeofficial · 2024-12-04T18:57:49+00:00

I hate they get too just make shit up with no real proof fuck the justice system

Moms_Sketti88 · 2024-12-04T07:06:25+00:00

Some politician should start championing the cause to make a law that if false allegations like this are found to be blatant lies the accuser should be sent to prison.

And not for a few months but years. This story pisses me off. I sincerely hope it all works out for you.

It all seems so ridiculously specific that the judge will see through it though. Definitely get lawyer that has some experience in this.

Training_Ad1368 · 2024-12-04T05:55:14+00:00

Sorry you are going thru this. I read before that you will have to defend your self over and over. The thing is that at some moment the judge will say "this again lady, you are full of shit" and dismiss the case and her own lawyer will decline to help her.

Of course that until that will happen is going to be a while. Ask your lawyer if he is familiar with your judge and if it posible for the same judge to see your case in a regular basis

Unusual_University14 · 2024-12-04T05:41:26+00:00

I didn't have sexual abuse allegations, in the neighborhood though. My ex wife went to child protective services. In my state they have an intact families program where a social worker comes by and connects you to services to help keep the family out of foster care. This was a life saver. The second my ex made an accusation when CPS came by and said do you need services I said "YES!". It isn't that this social worker does much, but keeps a massive paper trail so that when the accusations ramped up, the investigator talked to the social worker and got the score.

It quite literally kept my kids out of foster care.

2024-12-04T00:44:27+00:00

i'm terrified that my ex-wife is going to try this at some point

apatrol · 2024-12-03T23:21:36+00:00

My buddy went through this. His ex's family are multimillionaires. The battle lasted years as he actually had to find raise to afford attornies. His ex put the kid through sex assault rape kit, forensic psychologist, and even moved as a court date approached in order to have the case basically start over in a new jurisdiction. Took over 6 years to get the court to rule for him. However because it had been years and the kid was told repeatedly she was assaulted the court ordered once a week supervised visits. She would cry the hole time and eventually he stopped as he didn't want to effectively torture her.

He is a massive alcoholic now and still has to pay child support because she doesn't have "income'.

My advice is to throw every penny you can at it as quickly as possible. Even criminal complaint against her for perjury. You yourself should never ever say or write a negative thing about her. Don't get recorded being aggressive. You may even look for a new attorney that specializes in these types of cases. (If you live in a big city)

CRobinsFly · 2024-12-03T20:06:27+00:00

Sorry this has happened to you, it's a fear of mine as well.

General suggestion - if these accusations have findings of fact and the court determines they are not valid, this is a frivolous motion. Even with it being a "protection" type order and exempt from collecting attorneys fees (review case law), you should be entitled to fees in your general divorce case because it has delayed resolution of the case and cost you, and a frivolous motion is a bad faith activity and can resort in sanctions against her and her attorney.

I am currently gaining a lot of knowledge on this at the moment since I am writing the defense against attorneys fees from my ex, as a pro se litigant. I warned her attorney that he had 24 hours to withdraw his motion before I motion for sanctions on multiple rule violations. A mountain of caselaw shows an award of attorneys fees in my case is not warranted meanwhile he presented no case law whatsoever that validated his position.

Mediogris · 2024-12-03T20:05:12+00:00

Get a lawyer asap. Proving things didn't happen is not as simple as you think even though you know you didn't do anything. Protocols that "protect the children" tend to jump into play and they only work against you. Do not voluntarily give away any rights, familial relations, custody, etc... again, get a lawyer asap.

BreakGrouchy · 2024-12-03T19:42:03+00:00

You need to attack her integrity. Part of the story about padded bras easy enough to prove they don’t exist. As well as posing . Definitely get a drug screen and hospital to check the kids out . Drugs is another thing that can destroy her narrative. If the kids don’t have drugs in their hair test that is only going to back your claim . Always video the pickups and drop offs . Never fail to do this . The one time you do luck will have it she will do something stupid. Definitely top notch lawyers. Any other thing she does get creative and find an away show the world who she is . Even old texts and pictures.

RedFridged · 2024-12-03T19:38:54+00:00

Simple. Your Attorney says what?

No_Pace2396 · 2024-12-03T19:34:57+00:00

Sorry man. Silver bullet. Throw out accusations knowing the court will rule “in the best interest” of the kids. Sort it out slowly and thousands of dollars later. My ex stopped short of sexual abuse and went emotional abuse instead, but no doubt she toyed with the idea. This all falls in the category of doing everything to make you look as awful as possible. I found this to be a slippery slope where the judge just assumed I was guilty of something.

No advice, just support. Be very careful about what you say, do, and agree to, assume it will be used against you…even being frustrated in the insanity of the accusations.

Proving parental alienation…my judge found parental alienation in another case where the father ended up killing his kid, so now “alienation” is a dead end legal strategy written into law. All I can say is don’t get your hopes up that family court will serve justice.

Timely_Old_Man45 · 2024-12-03T19:33:30+00:00

Wouldn’t the court order the children get checked out at a hospital? The fact someone can make false accusations without consequences is frustrating!

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2024-12-03T19:30:17+00:00

You need to fully and aggressively defend yourself against these accusations. Do not take any shortcuts or quick outs. Don't settle on anything. If she has no proof, it will ultimately end in your favor. Don't take any agreed orders, and don't "settle" anything outside of court. Force her into court to prove her case.

That said, don't expect her to be held accountable for lying in court. Women are almost never punished for lying to get a protection order. The issue will be dropped, and the courts will consider that your only retribution for being lied about.

This is so common its a stereotype, yet women will deny how common it really is.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-12-03T19:06:59+00:00

Then come to find out my Ex was successful in getting a temporary protection order for my kids.

This is very normal for the court to grant this, especially with some wild allegations involving children.

So where do I go from here? I have trial in two weeks, I guess.

This won't be your full divorce trial, it should just be the hearing on her motion. Throw everything you have at this because a loss would be disastrous. What usually happens is that if they don't have the evidence to win at the hearing, they will offer you something that seems a lot less bad to enter as an "agreed order" where she'll still get some kind of win. If your lawyer forces it to hearing, they will likely withdraw the motion. Of course it all depends on their evidence. I'm just assuming it's the typical false claim. Listen to your lawyer, make sure they're prepared and don't agree to anything you're not comfortable with. If it's false you should absolutely seek attorneys fees.

Throw everything you have at this. DO NOT violate the temporary order in ANY WAY. Another trick is for her to reach out to you or something, then when you respond, she'll claim you violated the order. Make sense? Keep your head, this is a common tactic.

If they try to bring CPS (child protective services or whatever your state equivalent is) into it - you really gotta fight it and make sure your lawyer has specific experience with CPS. Don't submit to any meetings or testing or anything. If she didn't call the cops and have you arrested, that should be a red flag for the court.

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-12-03T18:54:56+00:00

wow...I have zero experience in this field but sending you my best. Do you think the children know your ex is claiming this? Like is there any way you think they'd go along with it? I would think eventually, at some point, a therapist type person from CPS is going to get involved and interview all parties involved. Do you think your ex has the ability to train them up enough to convince CPS that this thing happened?

I'm just shooting in the breeze here...I'm sure others who've gone thru this will have more valuable insight...I just wanted you to get a response soon from someone bc this is a helluva thing.

Title	Accused of Sexual Abuse of my Children
Author	OldRooter_06
Upvotes	34
Comments	56
Date	December 3, 2024 6:46 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h5uq4v/accused_of_sexual_abuse_of_my_children/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/accused-of-sexual-abuse-of-my-children.1537464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537464

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