How did you tell your wife you want a divorce?

detmus · 2024-12-21T18:40:00+00:00

After two years of being stonewalled, one day of saying, “Good morning,” to have zero response (again) was finally enough.

You tell her it’s happening. There’s never a “good” time, but ripping off the band-aid kick starts a chain reaction of stepping back into yourself.

Mediocre_Analysis665 · 2024-12-21T02:43:32+00:00

She cheated on me. About six months went by and then we tried to work things out until I found out she was pregnant with another guy's baby. We have a 15 year old together that she told lies to him about. We had joint custody until she took me to court and got full custody just because she wanted money monthly. I told me son the truth with evidence and he despises her now. Point is, you feel it in yourself when it's time. And I learned that pain is inevitable, misery is a choice.

NewDay0110 · 2024-12-19T16:40:32+00:00

She kept threatening divorce whenever she would get mad. I never could ever understand what she was mad at me for because the explanation was word salad, but she was always angry at me about something. I'd tell her if she wants a divorce she should go do it, then she could find a guy with a trust fund who doesn't have to work and has no ambitions so he can just spend all his time and money entertaining her. And that's exactly what she did!

DrakaninX · 2024-12-19T00:45:47+00:00

Handed her the papers and told her

47omek · 2024-12-18T18:05:30+00:00

File for divorce. Hand her a copy of the divorce petition that your attorney filed the day before. Or have the process server hand it to her. You need to get out in front of it and filing before telling her will prevent some of the pre-filing shenanigans that a lot of women try like asset dissipation, false domestic violence accusations, running off with the kids etc.

dnbndnb · 2024-12-18T17:11:00+00:00

The lease on the rented house can expire. She’ll have to leave the house.

Exactly65536 · 2024-12-18T14:53:29+00:00

Just like that - "I want a divorce, I filed, you will receive a notification shortly. Let's talk about how we split stuff".

I mean, what else is there to say?

If you are still _thinking_ about divorcing her, keep the thinking internl. When you are done thinking, done deciding and started executing, that's when you tell her.

Why the hell do you need a conversation about it? Isn't the point of filing, one of them anyway, to stop this conversation?

regertsrus · 2024-12-18T13:53:57+00:00

If you make her leave the home, this will play against you potentially. You will have to pay child support even if you make the same in most or all states. The non moneyed spouse will receive child support. So even if she makes a little less than you, depending on your state, she will be seen as the defector conservator even if you split custody even Steven. So don't worry about her financial future. Worry about yours.

Slowloris81 · 2024-12-18T13:39:58+00:00

By filing.

Aggravating-Ad-5793 · 2024-12-18T13:14:19+00:00

Do not try to buy her cooperation with a divorce settlement that's slightly in her favor It will not work and it will cost you money. Talk to your lawyer and offer her what she would get in court not anymore

Pmoneywhazzup · 2024-12-18T12:44:22+00:00

Talk to a lawyer first. They will go over your joint accounts, etc. and other issues to lessen the impact of her making immediate emotion driven moves out of spite. Go ahead and act now, because it sounds like you have already let the cat out of the bag. She might be planning to file right now.

As for my divorce, I told her I was tired of living like roommates that were not even friends, that we completely ignored each other and I was not going to live the rest of my life like this. You cannot predict how she will take it, but you should presume she will go scorched earth.

leaving4me · 2024-12-18T12:39:28+00:00

Unless she is also resigned to the fact that divorce is the best path forward it is not likely to go smoothly. You tell her matter of factly and don't engage in argument or debate...then you file immediately or even just before you tell her so she doesn't find out through service.

Your best friend and mother of your child will then become your enemy. Don't expect her to give you an inch through the process and do not give an inch on assets or parenting time that you are legaly afforded in your jurisdiction. This is now reduced from personal to business.

Unusual_University14 · 2024-12-18T12:24:24+00:00

First, you can't make her leave the house. You could file for "sole possession" or your aunt would have to evict you both.

Second, you can't manage her, even if she was emotionally balanced. All you can do is make it worse.

I filed first, I simply said "I've failed for divorce and for the children we can do this amicably". She did go off the rails and said it absolutely would not be amicable. And it has not been.

Say it direct, matter of fact, and move on. Everything from there goes to the lawyer unless she wants to be reasonable.

bluephotoshop · 2024-12-18T11:38:55+00:00

Lock down your finances first. Then tell her you want the divorce. Record the conversation without her knowing, if possible. Keep it impersonal and never raise your voice to her in the discussion. Avoid anything that smacks of a threat. Don’t lose your cool.

Title	How did you tell your wife you want a divorce?
Author	Bettrthan-B4
Upvotes	11
Comments	23
Date	December 18, 2024 11:25 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hgzk1m/how_did_you_tell_your_wife_you_want_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-did-you-tell-your-wife-you-want-a-divorce.1538854 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538854

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