What a bombshell

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2025-01-01T16:31:01+00:00

Don’t do the voluntary separation because if you move out, the court can will look at it as abandonment, and penalize you. Two options: 1) seek marriage counseling to help improve your relationship or 2) get a divorce. No in between. Unfortunately a lot of women experience marriage remorse within a few years of getting married. But do not give her the option to separate because it allows her to be married to you but act single.

NC_Geezus · 2025-01-01T16:02:14+00:00

You just have to process the emotions and execute your plan. I just found out my stbxw starting dating and that sent me back in the emotions. Unfortunately, time is really the only thing that helps.

No-Asparagus6937 · 2025-01-01T13:48:04+00:00

Same bro, also with a 4 year old with disability. Mine came back 6 months later begging me to go back but I cannot. There was someone else and it didnt work out between them. You ll be a good father to your kid, wanna know why? Cause you didnt cause this. She did. Find a good lawyer. You ll find someone else. Many good women out there that will love you and appreciate you more. You put her on the pedestal and she jumped in a pit. Be careful, dont let her suck you in.

New_Kangaroo9490 · 2025-01-01T02:29:23+00:00

Going through the same. My STBX told me 6 months ago my autistic baby is 7 years old. We are going through a painful divorce.

dasfoo · 2025-01-01T00:06:39+00:00

My ex did the same thing. I came to bed a couple hours after her, laid my head on my pillow, and touched her arm. She said "I don't want to be married to you anymore."

It took me a week to process, and then resist, and then another week to realize it was a lost cause, at which point I accelerated it to get out of there ASAP.

It was easier for us probably, because all of our kids are older. She moved into the guest room and then we just mostly avoided each other for another six weeks until we filed the papers and I found an apt to rent. She started going to bed at 8pm, and I took the 2.5 hours between work and her going to bed to go to the gym and hang out in my basement. Now I see her as little as humanly possible considering we share a teenager.

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-12-31T22:49:16+00:00

It's over but find out who he is. It won't change the facts much but it will help you get over it much quicker. It won't be quick but quicker

unK4G3D · 2024-12-31T21:34:34+00:00

Fuck all women, wedding vows mean nothing, they just want to find a bigger dick to ride. You can thank social media and probably her divorced friends for putting the bug in her head. It is the fashionable trend to leave your husband if you aren’t happy because it is easier to leave than it is to stay and work on the relationship.

leaving4me · 2024-12-31T16:30:45+00:00

You hire the best divorce attorney you can find and file as quickly as possible. You fight as hard as possible for your share of custody, and remember this. She is no longer your lover, no longer your friend, no longer to be trusted with anything. There are no favors for her. She will only be as amicable as you are willing to giver her everything she asks for....which in most cases is far more than she is actually entitled.

Wingnut8888 · 2024-12-31T15:31:08+00:00

I’m sad to say, but the sooner you accept it’s over, the better. It took me a while, and I sometimes still struggle with the fact my marriage is dead, but my headspace is better for it. We still live under the same roof because we want to sell the house in spring and not destabilize our kids. Definitely not easy and the bitterness on both sides is festering. The longer you co-habitate with her, the colder she will become. You’ll feel anger and resentment yourself. My STBX has apparently already started seeing someone, so be ready for the feelings of betrayal too. Oh, and nice that you have a special needs kid too, who would be better off with both parents raising them — except your wife feels her desire for happiness supersedes the importance of family.

CharlesDanceFan · 2024-12-31T15:21:50+00:00

She wants to separate because monkey branching perk has been activated. Some chump has decided to take her and your kid on.

Time to get angry then use said anger to channel your energy into something that’s going to benefit YOU

Women don’t leave marriages unless someone is waiting in the wings mate.

Feisty_Elderberry_96 · 2024-12-31T14:36:27+00:00

Oh man, this sounds so similar to my divorce. My ex came out of our bathroom at 11pm in a Saturday night and said, "So I've been seeing a therapist for a while now, and he says we are going to separate down the road - so we might as well do it now." She then walked out of our room and slept in our son's (he was 3 at the time) room.

I wasn't prepared. Marriage was rocky, but there was no cheating, abuse or drug use, etc. Nothing was bad. I thought we could reconcile or "make our marriage stronger", but here's what I learned . . .

If your wife tells you she's thinking about divorce/separation - she is already 10 steps ahead of you. She already met with divorce lawyers, already told her family her plans (to obtain their emotional support), she already knows what she wants for custody - and what she wants financially. She knows - through her lawyer - what she can get and what she wants. She knows the leverage she has in yoy divorce negotiation. My ex did ALL of the aforementioned items - While telling me - she wants to remain friends and that she loves me, but doesn't love me like 'that' anymore. Oh, And she already had her next bf lined up.

It took us 2 years to officially divorce - to agree on everything - bc she wanted 99% of custody because she was a SAHM (was her reasoning). When I disagreed, then she went for every dollar she could and even made me pay all.of her legal bills.

I could go on, but I'll stop. KNOW NOW - Your marriage is over. I'm sorry. Start getting your gameplay together. Figure out the custody you want, what your "hill to die on" is .. and do not move out of the house.

Finally, just remember- every woman wants an amicable divorce. But it's only amicable when they get exactly what they want (full custody, lifetime alimony, max child support, etc.).

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-12-31T14:20:44+00:00

"How do you live with someone who doesn’t want to be with you anymore?"

You don't, you go your seperate ways and rebuild an amazing life for yourself. Do not get cucked into hanging around your ex hoping she will change her mind. She wants to go have her fun with the new guy (and yes there is a new guy that is currently giving her butterflies) while you provide free daycare and pay the bills.

Yes it will be hard, yes you may need to work multiple jobs, yes you will need to organize care for your child while you work, yes you will have to learn to be fully self reliant. Cross that river and your life will be amazing.

Right now you need to figure out your own living situation. That may be living with family, friends, or finding a roommate in the beginning. You are starting from scratch with a child this time, don't expect to have everything right off the bat.

FUMoney · 2024-12-31T09:46:03+00:00

Your marriage is over. File for divorce.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2024-12-31T07:07:43+00:00

Get and read No More Mr Nice Guy. Read about grey rock. You need to consult with a good local divorce attorney because this is likely to end in divorce. Don’t chase her or try to appease her it will have the opposite effect. This is just a start.

Title	What a bombshell
Author	ineedmoney_21
Upvotes	20
Comments	27
Date	December 30, 2024 9:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hpxgbt/what_a_bombshell/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-a-bombshell.1540008 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540008

Comments