Background on my situation:

Married for a little less than 10 years. We had troubles and things have been rocky for a couple of years but always thought we would push through them. We have a 6yo son and a 8yo daughter. I should add that we have a very large dog which is much like a 3rd child. Will go into more of this later.

She finally said she wanted a divorce 3 months ago and moved out 2 months ago.

Frankly things were going fine. Felt good about our co-parenting and general support for each other. Felt so great that we even decided to use a mediator and not lawyers for the divorce. Easy division of assets with really no arguments etc. again just trying to work together to support each other during this transition as we know it’s best for the kids. Other big point here is I felt it important to keep the house for the kids (stability and limiting change - hopefully providing a known safe space). Also as noted above I begrudgingly kept the dog (she originally wanted the dog not me). He is a massive guard dog. Expensive to house / feed / maintain. He’s a legit 3rd child that puts extreme demands on my time and energy. I love him but it’s hard. All that said I’m trying to be the best dad and that includes honoring my responsibilities to the dog (had him for 3 years) and my kids (who like the dog). To add to the stress I’ve had to take a new job. It’s a good job but now a long commute away complicating all of the other life stuff.

Anyway the kids were acting weird 2 nights ago. Lots of questions about if I had a new girlfriend - I don’t - I was trying to honor the process - and just close up the divorce and focus on the kids etc. the questioning was jarring. I could tell my son was upset.

Long story short the kids alluded to mom dating / having a boyfriend. It legit shook me. Like completely depressed me and knocked me off the progress. The ex confirmed she was and that she had had sex with at least one guy. Crushed me. Not bc I want her back but bc it seems too fast and it bothers me that the kids seemingly know. I’m hurting. Can’t sleep. Feel sick to my stomach.

Lastly I’m now totally torn on keeping the house and the dog. I think it’s just bc I’m mad / sad / hurt but at the same time I have to admit that I feel totally tied down and feel I need to get out there to date etc. It would be likely better to not have the responsibility of the dog and would socially (and work wise) be better to move closer to the city vs where I am.

I’m struggling.

Thanks men. I have a small circle of support so could use some help.