Is it a red flag a woman, you're not in relationship with, is still in contact or hangs out with an ex?

Physical-Time4796 · 2025-05-15T23:00:19+00:00

No because as you said “you’re not in a relationship with”. Just have fun. If she brings up the long term question then you bring up her ex being an issue.

Khower · 2025-05-15T20:41:12+00:00

I didn't care the entire time we dated because he was a scrub. They started dating like weeks after we broke up

Ok-Criticism-3494 · 2025-05-15T19:57:44+00:00

red flag. one day she'll go back to her ex and you'll be alone bro

great_account · 2025-05-15T20:12:28+00:00

Depends what you want out of the relationship. You want sex? NBD. You want a girlfriend? Red flag.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-15T21:01:16+00:00

I'm going against the grain here apparently. I think it's NOT a red flag persé.

It depends on the situation. What is her relationship with the ex? Are they like an on-again-off-again situation? Does she still have romantic or sexual feelings for him? Why did they break up?

How often are they meeting or in contact? How are they interacting with each other? What is the reason for remaining friends?

I think staying friends with an ex can honesty often be a green flag. It often means the break up wasn't toxic - which speaks of maturity and probably means they're capable of having a healthy relationship.

Not every situation is the same. You have to figure out the details.

I'm saying this as a guy that's still friends with my ex. I have a new girlfriend and i have zero desire to go back with my ex. But i do appreciate a loose friendship with my ex that isn't super involved. And I think this is all healthy honestly.

It's about the threat right? If there's a friendship but no threat - then it's all good. If there's a friendship but a threat - then it's bad. So when there is a friendship; figure out if it's a threat or not.

razama · 2025-05-15T20:15:30+00:00

It’s about context. You can be friends with an ex, but there’s plenty of friends you don’t hang out with or make time to see. Making time to see them or hang out with them (even in groups) is a red flag. Being friendly if they happen to run into each other is OK.

If they don’t understand that then that’s another red flag showing immaturity.

-XtCode- · 2025-05-15T20:48:02+00:00

Red flag

Temporary-One7968 · 2025-05-15T21:11:10+00:00

Yes it is a strong red flag, don’t take them seriously

PlayaNoir · 2025-05-15T21:57:39+00:00

Red flag for sure. Do you know any woman that you are "friends" with that you don't desire to have "benefits" with?

jakobari · 2025-05-15T22:24:18+00:00

The honest answer is: it depends.
Some couples break up and genuinely stay friends. They’ve moved on, the romantic feelings are gone, and they just enjoy each other’s company—especially if they share the same friend group. If the fire is truly out, then it’s out.

But… if there’s even a small spark left, it can be risky. Sometimes that’s all it takes to reignite something more, even unintentionally.

What I’d look at is context.

How long ago did they break up? If it was last month, that’s very different than if it was ten years ago.
How often are they in contact? Casual check-ins or occasional chats are one thing. Daily texting or constant updates? That might be a red flag.
What kind of dynamic do they have now? Friendly? Flirty? Supportive? Dependent?
Is the Ex in a realtionship?

Bottom line: Being friends with an ex isn’t automatically a red flag—but it’s worth paying attention to the details.

Suavedaddy5000 · 2025-05-15T23:39:25+00:00

If it's my ex you got nun to worry about ✨🙏

Captain_w00t · 2025-05-16T00:00:51+00:00

Well, she’s with you now, hopefully by her choice. Unless you found some heartless person, she has no reason to spin more plates at once.

Girls/women are usually more monogamous than guys. They choose a partner when they are in a relationship AND they’re happy about it.

So, don’t be afraid of her contacts.

Of course, for casual sex, hookups, etc t

wastingtoomuchthyme · 2025-05-16T00:36:17+00:00

Depends. Context is important here.

Apachai7 · 2025-05-16T00:42:38+00:00

Potentially, more likely than not. The girl I was seeing I ghosted because I found out she kept in touch with her ex. Happily told her to go keep on hanging out with guy. Took a huge step back, and have been happier with other girls since. For me, it’s a respect thing. I’d rather occupy my mental real estate with healthier, more productive things than wondering if my girl is talking to or hanging out with her loser ass ex.

TheRealJamesHoffa · 2025-05-16T01:22:59+00:00

I mean if I’m not in a relationship with her I don’t really give a shit. But I would immediately write her off as not serious relationship material and adjust my expectations.

I went on a date with a girl who didn’t tell me she was “still technically married” until we were out. I didn’t really get any details of what that actually meant.

The date went really well, we were out late, we were making out, she was moaning like crazy and even pulled back and let out a good “what the fuck”, told me I was a really good kisser (shout out to my ex who always told me I wasn’t, that shit hurt), she even asked me when she’d see me again, and then she just never responded again after that.

So you really have no idea what you’re gonna get. For all I know this girl was absolutely still married and with her man and she just lied to me for a fun night out. And this was someone I met in person too, not on an app. Shit is wild out there.

roakmamba · 2025-05-16T02:03:21+00:00

Yes, i wouldn't take that girl seriously or bat an eye at her.

Rollorich · 2025-05-16T09:41:00+00:00

Don't get involved in other people's relationships. Mind your own business

Shadow__Account · 2025-05-15T21:17:43+00:00

I still see some exes. I care for them because we were together for a long time and we shared a lot of things. I am not romantically interested in them and happy with my current girlfriend.

I won’t be in contact with my previous ex for example, only with ones from many years ago where I really processed the relationship and why it didn’t work etc.

I also won’t be in contact with exes that I know haven’t moved on and still would want something.

So it can work, but it depends on many circumstances that you are not sharing.

If we’re talking about some 21 year olds, than yes most likely huge red flags.

But you say not in a relationship so what does that mean, she’s still fucking her ex and you are in her rotation?

AimlesslWander · 2025-05-15T21:17:46+00:00

YES!

VelvetSinclair · 2025-05-15T20:03:07+00:00

It's a red flag if she refuses to break it off.

Plenty of people stay friends with their exes. I have.

But it's commonly understood how that will look to future partners.

Apples_into_Snapple · 2025-05-15T20:53:32+00:00

Yes. Most people only hang out with exes if they still have romantic feelings for them, at least one of them will still do.

The dude may try to make a move on your girl or your girl may make a move on him. You need to get her to cut it out or you walk away!

They started dating and didn’t just become friends for a reason…

hunterpua · 2025-05-15T20:19:47+00:00

I agree with VelvetSinclair.

If she refuses to stop even when you guys are in a relationship then that's the red flag.

If she's just seeing her ex while you two are just flirting then nah.

My ex was obsessed with me and she fucked her ex while me and her were going on our first few dates.

She told me that when we were already in a relationship and it didn't bother me at all.

When she did it, we were flirting but we were still both single and were both free to sleep with whoever we wanted.

I know I took advantage of that fact a lot when we first started seeing each other.

And when we finally decided to commit to each other, she had absolutely no problem cutting off all contact with her ex, so all was good.

We stayed together for 3 years and the breakup had nothing to do with her ex and everything to do with me fucking other girls left and right for those 3 years.

We were in an open relationship but she didn't really want to be, she just agreed to it because she wanted to be with me. Carrying on when I knew that is one of the biggest regrets of my dating life.

ImmediateTap7085 · 2025-05-15T21:33:56+00:00

It’s a gigantic waving red flag, and you need to move on IMMEDIATELY if you’re actually planning to commit to her. Ditch her. ASAP

Title	Is it a red flag a woman, you're not in relationship with, is still in contact or hangs out with an ex?
Author	qurfy
Upvotes	19
Comments	51
Date	May 15, 2025 7:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1knhn7l/is_it_a_red_flag_a_woman_youre_not_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-a-red-flag-a-woman-youre-not-in-relationship.1552312 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552312

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