Why men should not date single mothers

GarlicFalse3779 · 2025-08-11T09:11:10+00:00

In Brazil, if you have a relationship with a woman with children and she takes photos of you acting like a father, she can go to court for you to become a socio-affective father, many mothers who don't know who the father is or that the father is a criminal or just a layby who doesn't do anything use these alternatives to earn $$$$ to "support their children", that's what they say, while the biological father is living in peace

World-Three · 2025-08-11T09:02:06+00:00

I think it's funny... How women like this typically say that they and their kids are a "Package deal" but get upset when a guy understands that and leaves it to the next guy to do all that.

The guy doesn't hate the kid, in fact, most guys don't, but the kid isn't theirs... I don't understand why that concept is do hard to grasp. Cool car, not my car. I'm not going to come back and keep washing your fucking car if we're no longer friends.

Does he keep getting to come over and play house if you're not in a relationship? Didn't think so... So how come your kid gets a lifetime sugar daddy? If you wanted that, maybe be less of a shithead and try to maintain the relationship. Unrealistic expectation I guess.

jack_avram · 2025-08-11T09:58:59+00:00

Single parenthood en masse is destroying future generations when we're a social species. Less family tribe, less community, less rites of passage - yet pathological destructive individualism.

CauliflowerBig3133 · 2025-08-11T09:45:08+00:00

It's as if government go the extra mile ensuring some guys end up. Supporting someone else's fathers but prevent men from supporting their own

Islanderwithwings · 2025-08-11T09:41:35+00:00

Single mothers have been effin up the dating scene world wide, since before Social media.

It is amazing how every male problem that exists, women love to hijack the issue and make it a woman problem. And they love to use Children as a sword and shield against the world.

Trust me guys, I remember working 3 jobs as soon as I turned 18. I got in a car accident and the first thing my mom asked was if the car was alright. Oh but you act like you care for me in front of the camera? GTFO lol.

Let women do whatever the hell they want.

Just remember, when the barbarians are at the gate, don't fight them, join them.

redditm0dsarel0sers · 2025-08-11T09:05:43+00:00

Men shouldn’t date at all if you ask me in 2025

DryAssumption · 2025-08-11T09:50:23+00:00

Not dating a woman with kids for a man is an absolute no brainer (less so if the genders are reversed, which women don't seem to get). More than if they are coated in tattoos. More than if they have tons of plastic surgery. More than if they are a crack addict.

dougpschyte · 2025-08-11T09:11:05+00:00

Women are programmed to want 'good genes', often found in bad boys who can't be tied down. Still, she tied down his genes. That's important to her.

Women have zero respect for the subsequent providers whom they put in the frame to raise the genes of another man. They are interchangeable dummies who incur wrath and ire when they cease to provide.

Women write their own convoluted 'medical ethics' to explain their behaviours.

https://jme.bmj.com/content/33/8/475.abstract

Icy-Improvement-4219 · 2025-08-11T11:43:41+00:00

Id propose to reverse this and meet a man with a kid and when they divorce is the woman expected to take the kids with her?

Is she supposed to support them if she makes more 🤔🤔

I am childless. My husband has 2 kids. They were 3 and 5 when we met. If I divorced him I wouldn't even imagine myself taking care of them "just bc" they viewed me as a parental figure.

jack_avram · 2025-08-11T10:27:42+00:00

It’s a disturbing trend, especially more common with certain ancestries and cultures, which strongly goes against the complex social nature of our species to live in rich communities of extended family and support. The past century has completely isolated and dispersed families across long distances, a new phenomenon that makes childbearing and family resilience much weaker in a deconstructive pathological individualism. There are inevitably challenges, but parents without a plethora of supportive community and kinship are overwhelmed in new ways. An economy that is no longer designed for the majority has become an increasingly dangerous neo-feudalism extraction system that has made human life progressively less economically viable considering the costs of living, the costs of children, and the costs of hiring humans versus AI. The majority now requires a new economy to survive, along with stepping back to recognize the catastrophic nature of deconstructive individualism in highly dispersed and barely connected family networks which may be a factor behind the rise of nihilism as well.

RepulsiveCockroach7 · 2025-08-11T12:37:37+00:00

Of course, not a single comment blaming the mom for having a child with an irresponsible deadbeat like the older child's biological father.

CutiePie0023 · 2025-08-11T12:51:06+00:00

And people wonder why most men just stay single and don’t even date at all nowadays.

This guy has zero obligation to pay for the other kid..where is the actual dad at?? I love how none of the comments are blaming the actual dad or the mother for sleeping with a deadbeat. And this is coming from a woman!

sailhard22 · 2025-08-11T14:07:35+00:00

blaming the father who abandoned the child or the mother who had a child with a loser

Or maybe the mother and father just don’t get along or the mother is a narcissist and there’s nothing wrong with the father?

Even in a men’s rights sub the bias still exists 🤯

Simplement_thrown · 2025-08-11T14:08:58+00:00

So. Many. Trash. Takes.... 😵

Men are waking up and less and less are dealing with single moms.

VioIetDelight · 2025-08-11T11:02:27+00:00

Offcourse they are on the children’s side. These are all people who went trough shit most likely. They lead with empathy unless they would be in the situation themselves.

I am a women and when a guy I know dates a single mom, That he need to make damn sure he knows who she is, and if it’s something healthy. Otherwise it’s just stupid and desperate.

Most single mothers I know from a younger generation, are not even women. They are girls with issues, they never worked on. They never did self reflection..

But there are also men who fck up. Yes they are at fault for choosing the wrong men. But so are the men choosing or taking the risk to have a child with that person.

Both party’s need to take accountability, for the vicious cycle to end.

LateralThinker13 · 2025-08-11T13:59:43+00:00

AITA is notoriously anti-male (blue pill).

Hyphalex · 2025-08-11T13:05:04+00:00

WHY MEN SHOULDNT DATE THEM: EPISODE 42069

ZeuxisOfHerakleia · 2025-08-11T12:26:56+00:00

who cares who gets blamed, if you meet someone with kids you can date them and do whatever you want, i personally would just never get too close and keep it in the dating realm with its perks. Those kids are obviously no ones responsibility but the parents

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2025-08-11T12:32:51+00:00

Just highlights that THERE IS NO NOBILITY IN CUCKOLDRY!

Gleichstellung4084 · 2025-08-11T13:42:18+00:00

There are many factors in the game:

1. the mother simply does not have enough time/resources for the father, if she is a good mother. That is understandable.
2. the mother might be emotionally damaged from the divorce, many scenarios here.
3. the divorced mother might be a problematic person to start with, which might be a cause for her divorce
4. my personal issue usually: the mother might not be a very good mother. I hate it whenever I am seeing that and it is keeping me back. I have seen mothers pushing their children call another person "dad", which I find hideous.
5. there are triangle relationships being developed. The mother might be giving responsibilitites to the man, the man might be overstepping, the kid might be playing one against the other or simply taking their frustrations on the easiest target, which is the newcomer.
6. in every single case, when the relationship absolves, the man loses contact with the child. That can be hard for both parties involved.

I think that the main issue at play here is this new societal narrative, that a woman who divorces is a powerful woman exercising her agency in life. But real life is different: yes, they may be going to a lot of dates and gather interest from men, fact is, that most of these men are not there for the long run and treat them as an easy sex. So they face reality against projections in a very hard way, which can be damaging in and of itself.

MyFeetLookLikeHands · 2025-08-11T14:21:21+00:00

just like there’s a bunch of misogynists on reddit, i’ve learned it’s also filled with misandrists. I’m sure many of the people in that thread are single mothers that dont want to face the reality of their own situations

invictus2695 · 2025-08-11T10:37:29+00:00

I think most single mothers are not looking for emotional relationship. They are looking for a meal ticket.

RothkoTears · 2025-08-11T08:57:15+00:00

It's sad for the children to not have stable homes. The Dad not wanting to treat the older girl like his own kid is sad because he was there for 4 of her six years. He is the only father she has ever known. And the unequal treatment of the sisters can lead to resentment, jealousy, and bitterness.

If you marry someone with kids from a prior & their other parent is no-contact/ sucks/is dead, adopt the kids into your heart as your own. If you can't, move on and make way for someone who can. That little 6 yo didn't deserve to be abandoned by another daddy. So sad. So yes, don't date single mothers if you aren't willing to be a true father figure and leader in that relationship.

MotherAce · 2025-08-11T10:26:11+00:00

In this situation specifically? Hell yeah. You cannot treat siblings this young differently just because they do not have the same father. Children do not understand why blood relation would make any difference, nor should they. In both of their lives, their father is the only man they've ever known as such. Blood isn't relevant.

And quite frankly, why the frick do you? This was a shit example to bring here. How is a 6 year old, whom every memory of men is this singluar dude as her father, gonna understand any different? She's completely innocent, and deserves the only father she's ever known.

erik_reeds · 2025-08-11T14:11:56+00:00

i don't see why a dating preference like this should be enforced or what this has to do with men's rights

RothkoTears · 2025-08-11T19:10:17+00:00

So I re-read the wording. There is NO mention of why they split up. In fact, the OP says he is still paying for insurance and "monthly payments" for her by choice, since he makes more money.

Forget the financial aspect. We get that mom should be stepping up to support herself and the kid(s) post-divorce. Sucks for her. If she is no longer a FT SAHM, then she has a job which means the kids are being babysat so she can work. What is the impact of this on the kids? Baby is missing out on integral time with mom. 6 year old is probably in school so hopefully only misses mom during the day.

Does the 6 yo get to see step- dad at all or only during pickups/dropoffs of the baby? If she has no relationship with dad anymore, that is what is rough about this.

Baby sister gets to have a dad but big sis is abandoned emotionally by the only father figure she has known. Grandmother admits she sees the 6 yo as a grandkid. This is a fcked situation for the sibling relationship and for the mental health of the 6 yo. Forget the clothes and toys and special trips. Fck the money. Kids need a father. If OP was EVER a genuine father, why would it occur to him to stop loving the older kid? If he ever actually loved the kid, then I doubt such love could so easily be rescinded. So OP is just playing a role that is expected of him. Maybe he never loved the kid that wasn't his the whole time. And now he is showing his true colors in a petty way.

Maybe it is another female fantasy projected onto men by delulu women that a man should be expected to love a kid that isn't his. (And vice versa for women. "Wicked" step-mother is a trope, and wicked step-father is not. Btw, "wicked step-mother" as mate suppression of the dead wife by oppressing her children?) You guys tell me. Should it be the norm to expect men to only love their own flesh & blood? Is it exceptional when a step-dad bonds with their step-kids? This is not a judgment, this is science. What is the male human really like without female origin expectations?

I think the broadest conclusions we can all agree on are that divorce sucks for the kids, absentee parentism is awful, and if you love a child, please don't abandon it emotionally.

Upstairs_Ear4172 · 2025-08-11T08:48:18+00:00

I mean, the guy raised a child for 4 years, he is the only father that child has ever known. From that child’s perspective, her dad has abandoned her and now only loves her sister. Legally, he has every right to do that but morally? It’s unbelievably cruel to not even offer to take the child out, that’s his daughter’s sister.

As someone with a step father and a biological father in my life, when I was a child, my father would never take me to my mothers with fast food/ gifts without getting something for my step father and mothers child as well. Children are completely innocent of the scenario and would just see it as them getting left out/ treated differently to their sibling.

Title	Why men should not date single mothers
Author	Negative_Comfort6848
Upvotes	344
Comments	114
Date	August 11, 2025 8:22 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1mn7d5a/why_men_should_not_date_single_mothers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-men-should-not-date-single-mothers.1559337 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559337

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WHY MEN SHOULDNT DATE THEM: EPISODE 42069